Would you return a very expensive gift back to your ex after the breakup?

Question

Say for example, your partner gives you a very expensive gift like a pair of lovely diamond earrings or a Rolex watch, but unfortunately, you break up. Would you return the gift or keep it?

The Option C is meant to be humorous, but hey, I don’t judge.

I, personally, would give it back to my ex because I do not want anything that reminds me of them. How about yourself?

Would you return a very expensive gift back to your ex after the breakup?

OlderAndWiser · Accepted Answer

It would depend on whether I had given her gifts equally as lavish. I had a girlfriend spend about $250 on a camel hair jacket for me at Christmas. I had already worn it a few times when we broke up. It was something that she couldn't return and she could not wear it. On the other hand, I had just done some plumbing repairs in her house and spent about that same amount on materials. So I kept the jacket and she didn't need to repay me for the plumbing repairs.

Legally, a gift is completed upon delivery and there is no obligation to return it after the breakup unless the gist was gicen subject to a condition subsequent ("this is a gift to you provided that you do something else after I deliver this gift.") Best example og a gift subject a condition sbsequent is an engagement ring; it is a gift subject to the condition that you get married. If the engagement is called off, there is a legally enforceable obligation to return the ring.

Despte the legal obligation, I never expect a gift to be returned and I tend to be the more generous partner in the relationships I have had.

razelove · Accepted Answer

It was a gift, not a conditional. Say if someone wants to give me a car in a relationship, I won't accept it unless the title is under my name. Otherwise it's conditional, and you're not giving me a car, but permission to drive one of yours. In that case just be clear about it, if anyone asks for gifts back, I refuse and ask where they get such a ludicrous idea from.

If you're spiteful and want to toss it back, or sell it, that's on you. The giver should have no expectation of seeing it back though.

Blackcupcake · Accepted Answer

well that strictly depends on how the relationship ended… but ideally I would like for it to be on good terms, and in that case, I don’t think I would think much about returning things but now that you mention it, I’m not sure…

because regardless of how much I paid, I wouldn’t want him to return a gift I got for him just because we broke up…

so I guess it depends on how he views things. if he wants to return my gifts then I would reciprocate it and return his, but I wouldn’t go out of my way to gather everything he ever got me and shove it in his face just because we broke up, if we ended on good terms…

I don’t know, it just feels like I would send a message that says “I don’t want anything to do with you anymore” which wouldn’t be true, like I said, IF we ended things on a good note…

PrettyPriya · Accepted Answer

I would keep it since it is a gift. Here is something to think about. It can be an expensive item but they didn't actually purchase it. Perhaps it was something handed down to them. Those things can have a lot of meaning to them.

If it were something like that, I would absolutely offer to give it back to him. I would probably even insist. I don't think I could keep that on my conscious that I had something with a deep meaning to someone.

Otherwise, I would keep it unless they asked for it back. In that case, I would give it back. Hardly worth getting into another argument after a breakup.

Kaneki05 · Answer

A gift is not a gift if one expects it to be returned. So that way I would say don't give a gift if you can't handle the fact it's a gift. So if they asked I would laugh.
I can do whatever I like with it, whether Sell it, keep it or choose to give it back myself but it would never be because they demanded it back.

What I do with such gift is of course subjective to what I want at the time and whom. Let's say somehow in this world a got gifted with a statue of a character I really love yeah they ain't getting that back even if we ended on good terms who knows when I would get the chance to have it again.
If it's something I didn't really care about but appreciated the gesture I would probably give it back especially if we ended on good terms.
Also everything depends on when the gift was given? 1 week before breakup? or months if not years later?
If said person gifted but cheated aka ended on bad terms think selling sounds good to me.

Also because of the person I am, I doubt the gifts would ever be Rolex watch or something I consider a waste of money since she would know that and probably think alike on that lol. So gifts would stuff more personal to what each other like, again back to the example a statue to a character I like well if she didn't like such character what use to her would it be for her to have it back.
And again once you've gifted something you shouldn't expect a refund so that's not really a excuse to have it back.
Or Mtg cards if I only play Mtg she didn't what use again is that to her? If she did play it to then maybe sure I would give them to her.
To finish off the point if you've gifted her stuff and she's gifted you stuff I am sure like sensible adults one could just agree to give back each other's gifts. Granted maybe issues on one-sided bigger gifts. Though one could agree to pay for it or something else.
Either way it depends.

Anonymous · Answer

How long have you had the gift? A week or 6 months? Can your ex get any use out of it or return it?

This can go 2 ways and it depends how the break up went down. Assuming it was of a mutual yet sad break up (no cheating) then I wouldn’t mind if my ex kept a few of my gifts. She can look at them a have a good memory of an experience. If she gave it back I would feel a combination of sadness and maybe appreciation that she didn’t want to be freeloader. But I would lean towards her keeping it in that scenario.

But if the gift was recently given and/or something fundamentally bad happened (cheating, abuse, etc) then return you better return it.

One of my exes asked me if I would be willing to sell her back a ticket she gave me as a gift months earlier for a special event. She said she planned to take a “friend” with her. She used the “her” pronoun to describe her friend but I didn’t trust her. I was also slightly pissed she asked for it to begin with. She knew I wanted to attend this event.

So I acted like I was going to sell it back and then changed my mind at the last second. I gave her some money for the ticket. That was my way of saying “I don’t owe you for this”. She then said “oh that’s so nice that exes do this. This was nicer than my last ex.” That was the one of the nastiest responses she could of given me but I also felt some satisfaction at screwing up her plans.

Although she never admitted it I was also
suspicious she cheated on me with a coworker and THAT is who she planned to take with her to the event. Honestly that would of been being shitty if that was the case. I’m glad I didn’t give it back to that cunt.

Anonymous · Answer

Since its not insured its Compensation for the heart they broke.

Seriously though unless there where conditions attached to it, such as an engagement ring, then no. Engagement rings should ALWAYS be returned. They are a symbol of a promise that cannot be kept.
Honestly if my x insisted on a gift back then it wasn't a gift.
I would never expect and would actually be hurt by a return gift. A break up does not have to be a fight. Love and cherish all the good that was enjoyed and take that away with you as a precious gift. Why undo all the wonders because simply because you cannot continue forward together? Leave the traces you had loving laid of your self in a most beneficial way to echo all the good you possessed to do and did on another's life.

Screenwriter · Answer

At the time you were together, it was given as a gift. Unless you're very angry at the ex and decide you don't want the gift, you can return it. Otherwise, I don't see the necessity.

The only absolute return needed after a breakup would be an engagement ring, in my opinion. That's given for the promise of marriage. If the marriage promise is broken, you should return the ring. Everything else is according to what you feel is correct, courteous and proper.

Wedding gifts bought before the impending wedding should be returned if the shave is "wedding close."

CrazyGirl2 · Answer

It would be completely dependent on the amt of time that passed since the gift was given and the breakup, I think that if I had no idea about the breakup, and was not thinking about ending the relationship at the time the gift was given, and more than a day or two had passed then yes, I would likely keep it. However if there was even the slightest thought about ending the relationship, I simply would not accept the gift! Now this only applies to “Gifts” not engagement rings… Engagement rings are not gifts! Engagement rings are considered conditional on completion of the promise to marry! If you accept an engagement ring, but break-up before the wedding, then ladies, be very careful with that ring! Taking it off and throwing it at him, leaves him open to say it was lost by YOU and you could actually get sued over it. The engagement ring does NOT belong to us unless we actually follow through with our promise and marry him! THEN it does belong to us.

jamesgoldman · Answer

Could be any of the 3 honestly

It is was an heirloom I'd give it back
If the relationship ended on amicable terms, I'd keep it
If it ended badly then It'll be in the window of a London dealer before the week is out

N. b. my 2nd girlfriend offered to buy me a £5,000 watch and I turned her down, her dad had marked my card and I wasn't going to get it punched not to mention I had only bought my TAG Heuer a few months before

AviatorTom · Answer

From what you're saying, you would get rid of everything that reminds you of him, which includes not only the expensive gift but other things he may have given you, or things you acquired together. Rather than give things back to him, why not give all those things to Goodwill, Salvation Army or other charity so that they can make some money of them?

Fireguy17 · Answer

I would offer it back, if they took it back I would be fine with it.
If they said no they didn't want it back, then probably sell it because of the negative connotations attached to the item, unless you can look at it for the spirit in which it was given and you can enjoy it for what it is.

UniquelyBasic · Answer

Well I still have a build a bear that my crush gave me in 8th grade. We never dated officially but we did like eachother. It just never went anywhere serious 😞

Anonymous · Answer

Depends. How long have we been together, why did I get it, was it a family heirloom, how angry I am at him if he broke up with me.
Good question by the way.
I would think if I get a gift, that's mine and not something he lends for the duration of the relationship. It's not a gift then. And with that in mind, don't give me a gift, you can't afford.

Anonymous · Answer

I bought my girlfriend a $1500 phone and $2000 ring. She cheated on me. I wanted it back. She was literally screwing and texting the guy while wearing my ring and my phone I bought her. What did she give me? Nothing. Women somehow think their pussy is worth something. It’s amazing how women can ghost and cut contact from an ex but keep all the expensive stuff he got her. Insane. Give it back so he can give it to a woman he loves. That was the reason he gave it in the first place. If the love ain’t there, then why you keep his stuff?

Aerissa_Jade · Answer

Depends how long we were together and how long it was mine... shorter time frames, more likely to give back. If it is something that has been mine for a few years, I am keeping it.

Of course, if I'm going to get sued to try to get it back, I may just give it back.

Or

if it was a family heirloom, I'd be a jerk to keep it... give that back so it can stay in the family.

Losalt · Answer

This is a super complicated question.
I don't think that things should automatically be returned, regardless of price.
But it's a question about how each of you feel.
If the other asks for something back, return that.
Or if you're unsure ask if it's okay that you can keep it.
But in general it's about trying to settle things amicably as much as possible I feel...

Alternatively it's possible to pay for the cost, while keeping the gift.

Seinna · Answer

A gift is not given on a condition. One such gift though is an engagement ring and that I would return. It depends also, if we broke up because of something that was entirely my fault and I knew the gift costed them a lot then I would consider returning it if it felt appropriate.

MackTrueNoBacos · Answer

If there was betrayal in a heart beat on either side or if she asled for it back for returning to get the money back out of whatever gift it was as far as a gift that maybe is in use like a car nope ain't happening not at the discretion or command of any ex friend or not they can get half the value if It is sold but only then... Gifts are gifts and unless the gift was bought under false pretenses then it will remain a gift forever now if there are false pretenses like any and all information with held whether by lying directly or omittibly doesn't matter a gift. is a sign of love and thoughtfulness genuine care and should be only recieved by the person who is in fact worth that kind of love..

Jabberjaw · Answer

If she gives me a Rolex and then a year later we break up I'm not giving back the Rolex.

If we're on the rocks and as a means to keep me she gives me a Rolex and we breakup shortly after, then I'm giving back the Rolex

It's more about what the motivations behind the gift were and the state of their relationship at the time. Like if it were an engagement ring type of gift where the acceptance of it is tied to a future outcome. Yea give that back.

MrOracle · Answer

I can't imagine accepting such a gift in the first place. I would never accept a gift that cost someone enough money that they would notice its absence. That just doesn't sit right with me. But if for some reason I did, and we broke up, I would immediately return the item, or offer to do so if returning it immediately wasn't practical.

possumpi26 · Answer

Absolutely. Why would I keep something that reminds me of them? I'd send it back to them or just leave it on their front porch. I've done this in the past when a relationship ended badly but, not with expensive items like jewelry, I've just handed that stuff back in person. It's a good way to leave the past behind and move on, kind of like a closing chapter.

Smoke-n-Growls · Answer

It depends.

I will likely give it back. I've given back every significant piece of jewelry my exes got me (a heart pendant from my first boyfriend, the engagement ring from my ex-fiancé).

I do this because it gives me closure. I don't want the object - that relationship is done and gone and I don't want reminders. It hinders my process.

I might keep it if it's something small or doesn't hold enough significance to be a reminder.

Kabluie · Answer

It really depends on the breakup, sometimes there is the amicable breakup instead of a bad one. Like you might both want different paths, and probably still talk to each other or backup into a friendship. So keeping things, photos and the like is totally okay.

IveGotNoName · Answer

Depends on the break up. I'm sure the gift, whatever it was, would have a meaning to me. If the breakup was peaceful I might want to give it back, because I would still be hurt, but it might not be in my best interest to do so, since I believe I would want to look back at the relationship I've had with this person fondly. If he cheated on me or something to that effect, yea, I would give it back in a heartbeat.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

I'd keep it unless they ask for me to return it to them

exitseven · Answer

I don't know. None of my ex gFs ever gave me anything expensive.

worldscolide · Answer

Depends on the gift. But unless it was an expectation that I return it if things don't work out, I'm keeping it. On that same token, I almost never receive anything that's not useful. My most recent ex bought me a shaver, it's a set of Oster mechanical sheers, good stuff. 300 dollars for it. I didn't give it back because it would mean having to buy new ones.

Rizwan_khan · Answer

Yes definitely i will give back to her gift because i loved her. I never loved her gift. Gift is gesture that person can show how much he/she cares and respect them but if their is no love between us then their no use of gift and i never take advantage of given gift. It is against my honour and ethics.

motownplayer2000 · Answer

No. A gift means it’s mine. A loan means I have to pay or give it back.

MurkeyShadow · Answer

Because it’s not nice People work hard and that Gift is A symbol of The work she Put in. One of the Girls I dated she Bought me a Pair of Jordan’s worth hundreds of dollars.
Few weeks later We we’re Out on a date
And she left her Phone on the Table to grab snacks. It kept Buzzing and I looked at it for a second and It was an Image of them togetherWith Kissing emojis. I broke up with her As soon as she Got back from the store. And Gave her Back the Jordan’s she Got me.

msc545 · Answer

Maybe I would unless I had given them something expensive

Kaamraj · Answer

As a man I have never received anything worth two dollars from a woman. However, I have given many expensive gifts and after breakup I expect NONE of it back. Do not give something you can't afford to lose.

mortonc57 · Answer

It wasn't super expensive, but she paid for our matching tattoos. I'd love to be able to "give it back" but the stupid bunnies are permanently grafted into my skin now.

Adam1978 · Answer

Well if I get a expensive gift, I must have earned it. It's not a loan so I wouldn't give it back.

ohshee · Answer

Well I dont want them back and that's what I tell them to do sell them

legalboxers · Answer

Yes. The gift is "conditional" when you are with the person. Once that condition is violated - you give it back

9975523809 · Answer

I would never expect anything like that from any. There's no point of returns. I would and always had a talk about even if the girls family wanna give anything give it in the girls name. I am happy with all what I have and capable of getting want i want. Limitations to self expectations.

Cathy7734 · Answer

For me, it depends on the relationship. If I was the giver in the relationship I would keep the expensive gift. However, if he was always generous, I would definitely give it back.

Twalli · Answer

Probably keep it. A watch is a watch, it wasn't given as anything more than a gift. If I was to break up after getting engaged, then I would want the ring back, because the ring wasn't a gift.

Smashingdoozy · Answer

I had an ex who bought me a whole lot of expensive jewelry. I just sold it when we broke up. Got more than what he paid for 🤣

Subarugirl · Answer

A gift is a gift, if we broke up I'd probably keep it depending on what it was.

just_a_potato · Answer

I got the gift when we were together, you can't take back a gift just because your relationship changes. I'm selling that shit. 😂

NZGirl07 · Answer

If the relationship ended amicably I think I would try give it back. If not, I might keep it, for example if I was cheated on.

Uptowngirl88 · Answer

No, it was a gift for a reason. Giving it back is childish

Luopio27 · Answer

Asuming how we broke up and what feelings were left, I would give her a chance to give or take back gifts.

All couples who lived together and faced a divorce had to chooze what to keep and what to give or throw away.

jbobbio57 · Answer

Because when you give a gift it's gone. its no longer yours. its now the other persons and they can do as they please

ChillaxingLove · Answer

As long as it’s not a ring or something super romantic. I’m keeping it. That’s my payment for the stupidness I had to put up with

Th3ft · Answer

It was a gift. If it is too painful to keep them sell it. That is my opinion of it. Haha! I mean what is he going to do with it?

nawtee_me · Answer

If I gave you something while we were together that represented my feeling towards you at that time I would not expect it back just because those feelings changed and we were no longer together. Cost doesn’t matter.

Espresso-Grande · Answer

No. I'd give back an engagement ring, but not a gift.

MysteriousDarkness · Answer

If someone gives me a gift then it is mine. Nothing says I should give it back regardless of the amount of time together, who broke it off, if the break up was amicably or not etc.

alice55 · Answer

The only things you need to give back is the fiance ring, all the other stuff you don't need to.

Tstrbrainer · Answer

As a guy, it would be hypocritical if I don't give it back

XXblack88 · Answer

I would sell it. cause it was gifted to me not a lone.

Blueeyes81 · Answer

The only time a gift should be returned would be an engagement ring, in my opinion anyway.

Anonymous · Answer

Honestly in todays economy which is shit, I would give it back to the person. Obviously they may not get full value for it but it’s their money. Small items like tshirts or jeans no. But big items yes I would return back.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

Yes, I would! Absolutely! Though I probably wouldn't accept an expensive gift in the first place.

TenkRealist · Answer

Yeah. I wouldn't want their money wasted on me.

sassyredhead · Answer

No i would keep it. The feelings might have changed but that was given to me I am keeping it.

annabananna · Answer

I would keep it. I would be offended if someone gave me back a gift.

Hanrej · Answer

I wouldn't know. Women don't tend to spend money on men.

Tay1708 · Answer

I don't know but I think about the gift like a memory of that relationship and it's a sad decision but prefer to set me free. And it depends of what kind of breakup it was

bolverk · Answer

I'd give the gift back, I would not want the constant reminders it would dredge up.

Would you return a very expensive gift back to your ex after the breakup?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Would you return a very expensive gift back to your ex after the breakup?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.