Say for example, your partner gives you a very expensive gift like a pair of lovely diamond earrings or a Rolex watch, but unfortunately, you break up. Would you return the gift or keep it?
The Option C is meant to be humorous, but hey, I don’t judge.
I, personally, would give it back to my ex because I do not want anything that reminds me of them. How about yourself?
No. I’d keep it
Yes. I’d give it back to them
Nope. I’ll sell it and make money off it
Other (explain)
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Would you return a very expensive gift back to your ex after the breakup?
It would depend on whether I had given her gifts equally as lavish. I had a girlfriend spend about $250 on a camel hair jacket for me at Christmas. I had already worn it a few times when we broke up. It was something that she couldn't return and she could not wear it. On the other hand, I had just done some plumbing repairs in her house and spent about that same amount on materials. So I kept the jacket and she didn't need to repay me for the plumbing repairs.
Legally, a gift is completed upon delivery and there is no obligation to return it after the breakup unless the gist was gicen subject to a condition subsequent ("this is a gift to you provided that you do something else after I deliver this gift.") Best example og a gift subject a condition sbsequent is an engagement ring; it is a gift subject to the condition that you get married. If the engagement is called off, there is a legally enforceable obligation to return the ring.
Despte the legal obligation, I never expect a gift to be returned and I tend to be the more generous partner in the relationships I have had.
It was a gift, not a conditional. Say if someone wants to give me a car in a relationship, I won't accept it unless the title is under my name. Otherwise it's conditional, and you're not giving me a car, but permission to drive one of yours. In that case just be clear about it, if anyone asks for gifts back, I refuse and ask where they get such a ludicrous idea from.
If you're spiteful and want to toss it back, or sell it, that's on you. The giver should have no expectation of seeing it back though.
It's not hypothetical to me... most of the suits I have were given to me by women I dated, some of my watches and jewelry, clothes, a cellphone, I'm sure there's more, but it isn't memorable. Sometimes break-ups are nasty, you know, especially when you start paying for affection and that isn't enough.
You could be brought to small claims, or criminal court if there's a doubt over who that gift belongs to, or conditions that were attached to it in texts, writing, whatever. The car title one is one that could get you theft of a motor vehicle, which while not as bad as grand theft auto, is a felony with some time attached.
There are laws in some states around what to do with engagement rings if the engagement is broken it's such a non-hypothetical that can go sideways quick.
well that strictly depends on how the relationship ended… but ideally I would like for it to be on good terms, and in that case, I don’t think I would think much about returning things but now that you mention it, I’m not sure…
because regardless of how much I paid, I wouldn’t want him to return a gift I got for him just because we broke up…
so I guess it depends on how he views things. if he wants to return my gifts then I would reciprocate it and return his, but I wouldn’t go out of my way to gather everything he ever got me and shove it in his face just because we broke up, if we ended on good terms…
I don’t know, it just feels like I would send a message that says “I don’t want anything to do with you anymore” which wouldn’t be true, like I said, IF we ended things on a good note…
I would keep it since it is a gift. Here is something to think about. It can be an expensive item but they didn't actually purchase it. Perhaps it was something handed down to them. Those things can have a lot of meaning to them.
If it were something like that, I would absolutely offer to give it back to him. I would probably even insist. I don't think I could keep that on my conscious that I had something with a deep meaning to someone.
Otherwise, I would keep it unless they asked for it back. In that case, I would give it back. Hardly worth getting into another argument after a breakup.
A gift is not a gift if one expects it to be returned. So that way I would say don't give a gift if you can't handle the fact it's a gift. So if they asked I would laugh. I can do whatever I like with it, whether Sell it, keep it or choose to give it back myself but it would never be because they demanded it back.
What I do with such gift is of course subjective to what I want at the time and whom. Let's say somehow in this world a got gifted with a statue of a character I really love yeah they ain't getting that back even if we ended on good terms who knows when I would get the chance to have it again. If it's something I didn't really care about but appreciated the gesture I would probably give it back especially if we ended on good terms. Also everything depends on when the gift was given? 1 week before breakup? or months if not years later? If said person gifted but cheated aka ended on bad terms think selling sounds good to me.
Also because of the person I am, I doubt the gifts would ever be Rolex watch or something I consider a waste of money since she would know that and probably think alike on that lol. So gifts would stuff more personal to what each other like, again back to the example a statue to a character I like well if she didn't like such character what use to her would it be for her to have it back. And again once you've gifted something you shouldn't expect a refund so that's not really a excuse to have it back. Or Mtg cards if I only play Mtg she didn't what use again is that to her? If she did play it to then maybe sure I would give them to her. To finish off the point if you've gifted her stuff and she's gifted you stuff I am sure like sensible adults one could just agree to give back each other's gifts. Granted maybe issues on one-sided bigger gifts. Though one could agree to pay for it or something else. Either way it depends.
Oh I have to many favourites! But to keep that answer brief a couple that come to mind are X23 (From the comics not from wolverine film that just wasn't her), Devilman of course, Death (Sandman Comics), Eren (Attack on Titan), Light (Death Note), then the obvious one Kaneki along with pretty much every character in Tokyo Ghoul with Eto been my most fav I think. An example of a really cool statue I want is the Rize and Kaneki one but yeah that thing expensive Nvm Kaneki Vs Jason one which comes with the coolest base ever with the heads of the key characters in display around it such as Eto, Owl and Noro etc.
Since your username is Kaneki, I assumed (I don’t often make assumptions because I hate assuming stuff) that your favorite *might* be Kaneki and ngl, he was everyone’s favorite in Tokyo Ghoul, lol, which makes sense because he was the protagonist. I liked Rize, she was strong as hell.. it’s kinda like Harry Potter where I liked Hermione instead of Harry since I could relate to her more, lol. (Not implying I’m a ghoul tho😭)
I just googled the price of Rize and Kaneki statue. That’s hella expensive. It’s $56, lol. I’m way too broke to buy that hahaha
Jason always freaks me out, lol. He was scary as hell and manipulative. Not a fan of him.
Tbh, Jason abs Kaneki statue looks way more cooler than Rize and Kaneki one… but both are expensive as hell, lol
It's not $56 your looking at the Sb cute one. It's the 1/6th scale one I am on about it's way more and out of stock in many places around $200 to $400, same to the jason one which costs even more at $900 to $1000. Nah my favourite was Eto not Kaneki. Safe bet 2nd though and Rize well she didn't have much of a character tbh just dead in first episode lmao. She was more just a reflection and tool to kaneki's character.
yeah.. the Jason one is much more expensive. Yep, she died after steel beams crushed her and Kaneki became a ghoul after some of Rize’s organs were transplanted into him. It was suggested that she was much more stronger than Kaneki though. He may have been stronger after more intense training and going to Aogiri but she was much more stronger than him because of her experience (at first)
but hey, you gotta give me the credit for at least guessing lol
Kaneki strength is way more than Rize even without experience because he had the power of never been able to be killed. As for the reason why? Plot armour. Nothing could kill him even acid. Pretty much the worst thing in the story is that Kaneki just can never die lol. Could drop a nuke on him, he would just get up say "I will press forward like a centipede" then be fine.
How long have you had the gift? A week or 6 months? Can your ex get any use out of it or return it?
This can go 2 ways and it depends how the break up went down. Assuming it was of a mutual yet sad break up (no cheating) then I wouldn’t mind if my ex kept a few of my gifts. She can look at them a have a good memory of an experience. If she gave it back I would feel a combination of sadness and maybe appreciation that she didn’t want to be freeloader. But I would lean towards her keeping it in that scenario.
But if the gift was recently given and/or something fundamentally bad happened (cheating, abuse, etc) then return you better return it.
One of my exes asked me if I would be willing to sell her back a ticket she gave me as a gift months earlier for a special event. She said she planned to take a “friend” with her. She used the “her” pronoun to describe her friend but I didn’t trust her. I was also slightly pissed she asked for it to begin with. She knew I wanted to attend this event.
So I acted like I was going to sell it back and then changed my mind at the last second. I gave her some money for the ticket. That was my way of saying “I don’t owe you for this”. She then said “oh that’s so nice that exes do this. This was nicer than my last ex.” That was the one of the nastiest responses she could of given me but I also felt some satisfaction at screwing up her plans.
Although she never admitted it I was also suspicious she cheated on me with a coworker and THAT is who she planned to take with her to the event. Honestly that would of been being shitty if that was the case. I’m glad I didn’t give it back to that cunt.
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Anonymous
(45 Plus)
1 y
Since its not insured its Compensation for the heart they broke.
Seriously though unless there where conditions attached to it, such as an engagement ring, then no. Engagement rings should ALWAYS be returned. They are a symbol of a promise that cannot be kept. Honestly if my x insisted on a gift back then it wasn't a gift. I would never expect and would actually be hurt by a return gift. A break up does not have to be a fight. Love and cherish all the good that was enjoyed and take that away with you as a precious gift. Why undo all the wonders because simply because you cannot continue forward together? Leave the traces you had loving laid of your self in a most beneficial way to echo all the good you possessed to do and did on another's life.
OH, I am new. Just having too much fun and enjoying giving what little help I can if its help at all. Stars are pretty but I don't need one. Thanks though.
At the time you were together, it was given as a gift. Unless you're very angry at the ex and decide you don't want the gift, you can return it. Otherwise, I don't see the necessity.
The only absolute return needed after a breakup would be an engagement ring, in my opinion. That's given for the promise of marriage. If the marriage promise is broken, you should return the ring. Everything else is according to what you feel is correct, courteous and proper.
Wedding gifts bought before the impending wedding should be returned if the shave is "wedding close."
It would be completely dependent on the amt of time that passed since the gift was given and the breakup, I think that if I had no idea about the breakup, and was not thinking about ending the relationship at the time the gift was given, and more than a day or two had passed then yes, I would likely keep it. However if there was even the slightest thought about ending the relationship, I simply would not accept the gift! Now this only applies to “Gifts” not engagement rings… Engagement rings are not gifts! Engagement rings are considered conditional on completion of the promise to marry! If you accept an engagement ring, but break-up before the wedding, then ladies, be very careful with that ring! Taking it off and throwing it at him, leaves him open to say it was lost by YOU and you could actually get sued over it. The engagement ring does NOT belong to us unless we actually follow through with our promise and marry him! THEN it does belong to us.
It is was an heirloom I'd give it back If the relationship ended on amicable terms, I'd keep it If it ended badly then It'll be in the window of a London dealer before the week is out
N. b. my 2nd girlfriend offered to buy me a £5,000 watch and I turned her down, her dad had marked my card and I wasn't going to get it punched not to mention I had only bought my TAG Heuer a few months before
From what you're saying, you would get rid of everything that reminds you of him, which includes not only the expensive gift but other things he may have given you, or things you acquired together. Rather than give things back to him, why not give all those things to Goodwill, Salvation Army or other charity so that they can make some money of them?
I would offer it back, if they took it back I would be fine with it. If they said no they didn't want it back, then probably sell it because of the negative connotations attached to the item, unless you can look at it for the spirit in which it was given and you can enjoy it for what it is.
Well I still have a build a bear that my crush gave me in 8th grade. We never dated officially but we did like eachother. It just never went anywhere serious 😞
Well I technically did but I had no clue how to act or what to do with a girlfriend. We never really did anything and I went to highschool and she was a grade lower than mine and we didn't really have a way to stay in touch so we just drifted apart. I really regret not doing more.
Depends. How long have we been together, why did I get it, was it a family heirloom, how angry I am at him if he broke up with me. Good question by the way. I would think if I get a gift, that's mine and not something he lends for the duration of the relationship. It's not a gift then. And with that in mind, don't give me a gift, you can't afford.
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Anonymous
(25-29)
1 y
I bought my girlfriend a $1500 phone and $2000 ring. She cheated on me. I wanted it back. She was literally screwing and texting the guy while wearing my ring and my phone I bought her. What did she give me? Nothing. Women somehow think their pussy is worth something. It’s amazing how women can ghost and cut contact from an ex but keep all the expensive stuff he got her. Insane. Give it back so he can give it to a woman he loves. That was the reason he gave it in the first place. If the love ain’t there, then why you keep his stuff?
Depends how long we were together and how long it was mine... shorter time frames, more likely to give back. If it is something that has been mine for a few years, I am keeping it.
Of course, if I'm going to get sued to try to get it back, I may just give it back.
Or
if it was a family heirloom, I'd be a jerk to keep it... give that back so it can stay in the family.
This is a super complicated question. I don't think that things should automatically be returned, regardless of price. But it's a question about how each of you feel. If the other asks for something back, return that. Or if you're unsure ask if it's okay that you can keep it. But in general it's about trying to settle things amicably as much as possible I feel...
Alternatively it's possible to pay for the cost, while keeping the gift.
A gift is not given on a condition. One such gift though is an engagement ring and that I would return. It depends also, if we broke up because of something that was entirely my fault and I knew the gift costed them a lot then I would consider returning it if it felt appropriate.
If there was betrayal in a heart beat on either side or if she asled for it back for returning to get the money back out of whatever gift it was as far as a gift that maybe is in use like a car nope ain't happening not at the discretion or command of any ex friend or not they can get half the value if It is sold but only then... Gifts are gifts and unless the gift was bought under false pretenses then it will remain a gift forever now if there are false pretenses like any and all information with held whether by lying directly or omittibly doesn't matter a gift. is a sign of love and thoughtfulness genuine care and should be only recieved by the person who is in fact worth that kind of love..
If she gives me a Rolex and then a year later we break up I'm not giving back the Rolex.
If we're on the rocks and as a means to keep me she gives me a Rolex and we breakup shortly after, then I'm giving back the Rolex
It's more about what the motivations behind the gift were and the state of their relationship at the time. Like if it were an engagement ring type of gift where the acceptance of it is tied to a future outcome. Yea give that back.
I can't imagine accepting such a gift in the first place. I would never accept a gift that cost someone enough money that they would notice its absence. That just doesn't sit right with me. But if for some reason I did, and we broke up, I would immediately return the item, or offer to do so if returning it immediately wasn't practical.
Absolutely. Why would I keep something that reminds me of them? I'd send it back to them or just leave it on their front porch. I've done this in the past when a relationship ended badly but, not with expensive items like jewelry, I've just handed that stuff back in person. It's a good way to leave the past behind and move on, kind of like a closing chapter.
I will likely give it back. I've given back every significant piece of jewelry my exes got me (a heart pendant from my first boyfriend, the engagement ring from my ex-fiancé).
I do this because it gives me closure. I don't want the object - that relationship is done and gone and I don't want reminders. It hinders my process.
I might keep it if it's something small or doesn't hold enough significance to be a reminder.
It really depends on the breakup, sometimes there is the amicable breakup instead of a bad one. Like you might both want different paths, and probably still talk to each other or backup into a friendship. So keeping things, photos and the like is totally okay.
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