How soon is too soon to start sleeping with someone after a breakup?

[citygirlxox]

How soon is too soon? When u sleep with people after the breakup have u found yourself to grow feelings for this person unexpectedly?

[zeitgeist057]

No such thing as "too soon". It's admirable that you would even consider waiting to sleep with someone until after you break up; many people do not even wait that long.

Statistics show that ~70% of unmarried couples deal with cheating at some point in their relationship.

But seriously, it's fine to be attracted to someone else and act on that attraction whenever you feel comfortable. The "danger" is when you are using someone to fill a hole in yourself, in your heart, etc. So if that's the case, there's something else going on that you probably need to work on.

[Smoke-n-Growls]

I think it varies.

I've engaged in kinda sexy stuff (a long time friend with whom I have an established relationship sends me patterns for my Lovense toys sometimes) within months of the break up. But it's always on my terms and I can stop whenever I want without affecting another person's experience.

I'm not ready to have an in person sexual experience just yet. Still processing everything and I'm not even at the point where I can properly process shit - I'm working two jobs and need to be "on" fairly consistently.

Everyone's different. You've got to listen to yourself and your process. Maybe "forget your ex, have meaningless sex" works but I've never tried it. I'm someone who needs to workout my emotions on my own before I can be present enough to enjoy another person's company.

I don't even know if I can have casual friends with benefits relationships. I'll have to try.

[NZGirl07]

It depends on the specifics of the breakup. When I broke up with my last ex, our connection had already been dead for a while which meant I was able to move on fast with no lingering feelings. But some breakups are much more hard and raw, so it is dependent for me.

[Whatever2929292]

Until you marry the next person. When you just sleep around with anyone you can you start getting attachments to people you should not have. When you wait until you are married you also rule out people who are only wanting sex.

But, I am not going to argue with you either. I am so tired of people who just choose not to have morals and ask questions like this but they don't get the answer they wanted so they argue.

I am NOT saying you are this way but seems to be the trend of the site. You ask a question you want the answer whatever it may be

[Pinay_ako]

It’s like fast food, it’s good at the moment. But you feel like shit after. So just DIY!

[EmbraceThePain]

So, it depends.


Too soon can mean you’re using that person to fill whatever void you are experiencing shortly after a breakup, which I do not think is good or right under any circumstances.


I think this can lead to regret and potentially create more problems in the future. I think it’s not worth it and one should have appropriate will power and safeguards in place to prevent going this low after a breakup.


Safeguards can be friends, family, goals, etc. Things to look towards that give you a sense of purpose and meaning.

[george201]

It depends on your mental readiness for that , if you totally readuly do it if you are not and just want to do it to satisfy and gap you have please don't

Dont connect your sexual feelings with your life challenges , because that can make you a dependant person which means you use something to over come other things by and that leads you to go and do it everytime you feel down.. this develops over time to be an addiction.

Just give yourself a rest , ask yourself are you ready? If yes why and if no why? Based on that you will know the proper answer according to your situation

[kaylaS91]

There’s no universal timeline for what’s too soon or the right time.


That’s decided on a case by case basis in my opinion.
I slept with someone new roughly 3 months after breaking up with my ex. Many would say that’s too soon but it felt just right to me and I have no regrets!

[big_ben_007]

A lot of experienced people in the comments section apparently -_O

I think the biggest question i have is how do u have sex? Do u do it then go about your day like normal? Or do u catch feelings for your partner and maybe try to sleep with them often? because if u sleep with someone right after a breakup, with your emotions everywhere, you could get attached pretty quick.

[citygirlxox]

Yeah that makes sense and I definitely would catch feelings

[Anonymous]

That’s a choice you have to make. If you are the one getting dumped then I say jump right in. You had no control in the matter. However if you did the dumping then some tinge of guilt might be natural. It’s not breaking any rules though.

One of my exes decided to get a week head start on this bs. She slept with one of her coworkers and used that as a catalyst to break up with me.

We were on the rocks but the whore couldn’t of waited until after it was official. Some women think the break up is “official” the moment they have come to that conclusion in their mind.

[ohshee]

We are all individuals and I don't think you can actually put a time frame on it I mean I have ended relationships before and there was one time we're probably about eight hours after I ended that relationship I was sleeping with somebody it was just totally weird the way everything happened but I think it's up to the individuals there are some people that have energy that you cannot deny LOL

[OBB29]

If you ultimately want a long term relationship, or stress a lot about short term relationships, I think the best time to sleep with someone you're attracted to is when you've seen consistent evidence that they respect your boundaries and care about how you feel in the relationship.

[ChrisMaster69]

It will vary each time, sometimes you do stupid shit when you break up and just jump into bed with someone random.

it really should be when you are emotionally free of the previous relationship, so that you are not reacting because of emotions you still feel with the previous breakup.

there is no real time limit, however emotional distance and also possibly respect for the person you broke up from (if it was amicable) do play a part and need to be thought about,

[Apope16]

There is no rule. Have sex that same night. I am a fan of a f buddy or sex to release pent up emotions. there's nothing wrong with that. Its human. Better to have sex than start eating and gaining 100 pounds or cutting yourself. Just be honest with your partner about expectations.

[Anonymous]

I would hope if you've been in something longer than a year, you'd at least wait a while until you're out of the straight up desperate to make them jealous or rebound stage, but as adults, the truth is, once you break-up, you're not beholden to the other person anymore so they or you can sleep with anyone any time after you both say goodbye.

[RandomGuy1030]

Or before you say goodbye cus people who get offended over SEX haven't grown up enough.

[erandal]

It varies. Sometimes I have waited weeks, sometimes I just went out and hooked up with somebody the next night. For a lot of people it can help them realise that while the grass may not be greener on the other side, there is a lot of grass...

[vald9inches]

I love this answer a lot!! Perfectly well said!! <3

[Quigly]

Usually someone breaks up cause they are done being in a relationship. When that feeling of being done in a relationship is over and you want to be back in another relationship. Then go back to being In a relationship.

If you are ready just after a breakup, you didn't break up for very good reasons or you were never really involved that much with that person.

[Sarahr123]

Western whores and manwhores will do it the next hour. For Eastern people who value emotions it would not happen again unless they remarry which most prefer not to do.

[TruthBringer]

As a western person, sadly it is true what you said.

[CubsterShura]

If you're not over the relationship yet and/or you're sleeping with people to distract yourself from grieving then it's too early. There is no set amount of time since everyone takes a different amount of time to heal from a breakup.

[SomeGuyCalledTom]

Hard to say. Wait too long and you end up in a funk that's hard to break out of. Wait too little and you can easily get sucked into rebounding and mindless hoeing lol. You should wait as long as YOU need to, no more, no less.

[lightbulb27]

when you are no longer dragging the past into the the present and resolved to some conclusion the past.
but for others, they need an immediate fix to hide the pain they don't know how to manage.

[avony12]

Every person and breakup is different. Some people wait 3 months, other years. It just depends on how serious the breakup was and who your trying to ‘lay up’ with

[LonelyFox]

This reminds me of a Friends episode where Rachel asks the same kind of thing..
Phoebe says a month
Monica says 3 - 4
And Joey says half hour 😂

[WhitneySnow]

Don’t know never slept with anybody but I always take at least a few weeks off between a breakup and going out with a new person. You need time to heal.