Why would an ex take distance but not remove me/block me?

[Anonymous]

Why would my ex (who I was about to start dating again) say that she's taking space, and isn't in a position to date again just yet (she had a very shitty rebound) but left it up to me for if I want to cut contact completely? (She never blocked or removed me)

(When we were talking during the time up till she went quiet, she made it obvious she is still into me, cares for me a lot, and only wants me.)

Updates

1 y

Actually, I shoulda added the actual message she sent

"Hi! I apologize for the lack of communication, I took some space to sort my stuff out and really process things.
I’ve been thinking about it a lot and I don’t think that I am in a good place to date right now especially after what happened in my previous relationship. I’m not sure if I will be ready to date for a long time. I don’t want to waste your time or prevent you from meeting someone special who is most compatible with you. "1/2

Updates

1 y

"Thank you for being there for me and for spending time with me, I’ll always be grateful for the memories we shared and you’ve taught me a lot. I really appreciate all that you have done for me. I understand if you wish to cut contact and if this is upsetting, I’ll be home around 6 to discuss anything or for any questions. Thank you, and I hope everything is going well at your new job! I also wish you the best of luck and I know you will do great things!"

2/2

[Anonymous]

If I were you I wouldn’t put too much emphasis on the fact that she didn’t remove or block you. From your perspective, you may feel slighted and confused because she was showing signs of interest/wanting to get back together, only to ask for a break. But putting yourself in her shoes, she’s probably not seeing anything wrong, so why block or remove you? If anything you’d be the one to do it since you were the one being left. For her, she has nothing against you or major incentive to cut ties. For your own sake, don’t focus too much on her actions because it is keeping you from moving on. Especially when you factor in a possibility for reconciliation in the future, which to be honest I don’t feel she will actually follow through with.

[Asker]

Personally, I feel like she's just feeling like we rushed into it, especially since her ex was abusive, and got scared with how our recent date went. (Nothing went wrong, if anything it was a better date we've had)

But I do feel like she does intend to reach out again soonish, when shed get her shit together, and thats why she didn't block me or remove me. (Especially since in the past she has done so when we first ended things, and when we started talking sporadically since and shed cut contact)

[Opinion Owner]

Well you obviously better than any of us, so if you feel that she’ll come back then who knows, maybe she will. Personally though, I think that when people are wishy washy/indecisive like her, it’s not because they miss or want you back, they just don’t have other options, or it didn’t work out with someone else. I get that she has trauma, but she shouldn’t weaponize it as an excuse to lead you on. Because if her past is an issue now, it will always be, especially when she can use it as her get out of jail free card to avoid accepting blame for her poor behavior. So if you think she’s kept you as a friend so she can come back later, rather than sit around and wait for that I would just unfriend her instead, or at the very least not respond when she returns.

[Asker]

I honestly don't think I'm able to do something like that. Tried when we were broken up, but ended up unblocking in a few days.

Personally, I do feel like she isn't intending to do it that way, but just had no other choice but to do that for now. I do know that she is genuinely a good hearted, sweet girl. Just has her issues from prior traumas, bother with the ex, and other shit from long ago. So I think Ill let this run

[Opinion Owner]

Whatever feels right for you

[Guy13]

Perhaps, she wants to watch what you do with your freedom. Like a test? If she blocked you and all that she could not keep tabs on your behavior?

[Asker]

True, but in the past when we’ve gone no contact, I still never really acted on anything. And she know it, even rejecting another girl for her.

I personally feel like she’s probably wanting to keep the door with me open for when she’s in a better place but feels like being actively in contact with me could harm her healing. (Does that make sense)

[Guy13]

Yes, it does. I have to say that you love this woman. Your deep in thought when it comes to her. It’s glaringly obvious. And, there’s not much of this in our world. I’m sure she knows this…. Yep, you’re a Man in away 95% of those on here have no clue about 💪

[Asker]

Yea, I do think about this stuff a lot, probably too much so, but as you said, I love this person so goddamn much. she's someone I'd go to the ends of the earth for, And she definitely does know it. And we have established that we have a special connection, like a once in a lifetime connection, including being able to make the other laugh and smile no matter what, knowing what the others feeling, even from a distance.

[Asker]

Also, I did text her to check in this past Sunday when I noticed she was online. She didn't reply or anything, but didn't remove me. Granted I said it was ok if she didn't respond, and hell, I would understand if she removed me completely (But she didn't do that, obviously)