Is there hope of getting back together?

[Anonymous]

My ex and I were off and on over two years. It was quite toxic and we have completely different communication styles. Recently we haven’t seen each other in 4 months and hadn’t spoken in one month. I’m moving back home (across the country). I have no family where I’m moving from so I have to move out by myself or pay someone. I went out with my friend a couple nights ago and got drunk and decided to text my ex’s friend and tell him I’m sad that my ex hadn’t offered to help me move. My ex called me and said he would help. He did literally everything (took apart furniture, helped pack, and is even putting some of my stuff in his storage). This made me miss him so much and made me want to work it out. Problem is, he told me he loves me but isn’t in love with me. We had sex twice during the moving process. We had a small argument but got over it.

My question is, is there hope of reconciliation despite me moving away and him saying he is t in love with me or should I begin the grieving process and move on?

[Anonymous]

How do you know it would be less toxic now?

[Asker]

I’m willing to shut up a little more lol. Also, we were able to solve the argument we had last night. We never used to solve things, we just ignored each other until we were over it.

[Opinion Owner]

That’s good! I asked that question because often times going back to an ex could mean the same issues will pop up at one point or another. If you really want to reconcile then it’s worth having a conversation, and it can absolutely work in your favor. But just be careful, because sometimes putting a label back on something isn’t always the best idea in the long run.

[Asker]

Very true. Thank you!

[Opinion Owner]

Hey there☺️ I saw you made a new post about this situation and instead of making a whole new comment I thought I’d just pop back in here. The things you were saying about him just sound really messed up, and maybe it’s better when you move to just leave him behind too. I think having sex really amplifies your feelings, because it’s such a personal connection and it can mess with your head so much. But it just seems like he wants to do his own thing, and even though it hurts, maybe it’s better for you to accept that and move on. You can’t turn him into a winner when he’s not done playing the game. You deserve a lot better, especially for someone so smart to finish law school!

[Asker]

Hi there! Yeah I wanted some more advice so I asked again haha. But also because new things have happened. I’m just so confused. But I guess I shouldn’t be because he’s actually said he doesn’t want me. It’s just hard and hurtful but I will get over it eventually. Time to start the healing journey. Thank you so much for your words of advice!

[Opinion Owner]

No judgment here at all! It just seemed like new developments, and I wanted to comment on that fact because I really hated to see it. Anyway, I’m really sorry you’re hurting, I was on and off with someone for years, even in a relationship at one point and there was so much pain in that situation. But the one good thing you can take from your situation is now you know the things you don’t want from a man and won’t accept. Keep on with your healing process and try not to go back, it just puts you back at square one each time. Also, no worries, sending you positivity and healing energy, you’ll get through this.