10 months on and I'm still crying every day, having bad anxiety and depression. I shun people and can barely function. I don't have any family or close friends to talk to. I won't go to a therapist, as I did so in the past and it didn't help me at all.
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If you are going to refuse to see a therapist, then I guess you're just going to have to suck it up.
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I urge you you to seek some professional help.
Sounds like you put all your eggs in one basket.
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