Guys, if you split up with a girl, or she with you, would you want to remain friends? Girls, how about you?

[DubiousIntentions]

I'm sure there are a couple of trains of thought on this. What is yours?

No way! They made her bed so sleep in it.

Yes ways! Once a friend, always a friend. :)

Your opinion here

[OlderAndWiser]

If you had a child together, the answer would be much different. My answer assumes that there are no children together.

When couples break up but remains "friends," quite often one of them is holding on t the hope for a reconciliation and thinks that remaining friends is the best way to promote a reunion. Ultimately, the other ex will move on to someone else and that then causes jealousy and anger.

Also, when you move on, your new partner may have significant questions about why you are contiuing to spend time with an ex and that can cause big probems in your new relationship.

If you do try to remain friends, how will you feel when he starts tlking about his new girl and it is obvious that they have a sexual relationship? Do you really expect to be invited to their wedding?

There are many downsides to trying to remain friends and I always recommend against it. . . unless you have children together.

[DubiousIntentions]

I think these are valid points. Why so many disagrees?

[OlderAndWiser]

One user is upset with me. He has multiple accounts and is using all of them to down vote me, as if that will harm me in some way. It is rather pathetic.

[OlderAndWiser]

@MysticCastles2 I know that because it started happening very recently, after the other user got upset with me. It is always five dislikes at the same time. On another question, I explained what was happening and an unfamiliar user jumped in to explain how the other user had been "done wrong" but, shortly afterwards, that user account went inactive.

It is very strong circumstantial evidence.

[DubiousIntentions]

The scoundrel!

[caring__1]

People are more likely to totally disconnect when deception was the reason for the breakup. If you don't believe you can trust the person, you probably won't want to maintain contact with that person. Saying you didn't deceive the person doesn't eliminate their belief they were deceived.

If the reasons for the breakup were issues out of either of your control, it would be easier to maintain contact as friends.

[Aerissa_Jade]

I always try to stay friends when things end, doesn't always work... but some of my ex's, have set me up with others that they thought I'd be a good match for, or I have for them. One I'm thinking of right now, set him up on a blind date with a friend, and awhile later I was at the wedding of my ex as a bridesmaid for my friend.

Still on great terms with both of them, as they've now had a baby too.

The key is don't try to force it, if someone is hoping to work things out... make it very very clear, that isn't going to happen and they can either accept it or move on. Their choice... if that is me, that I either have to accept it or move on.

I might take a break of hanging out with him for awhile, go on some other dates, by awhile I might mean like a month or two... but still keeping in distant touch, random occasional texts, saying hi how you doing, etc... not daily talking.

[Faith18letsgo]

I would because I’m usually very found of people I decide to date so I want to keep them around.

[DubiousIntentions]

If it works for you, than more power to you. :)

[Summeroflove]

This highly depends on why we split up

[NathanDavis]

is not like we planned it in advance or anything... but I'm still best and close friends with my first girlfriends... (high school and college age)

[DubiousIntentions]

Better friends than enemies.

[NathanDavis]

definitely best to be in good terms and friendly... especially with my last ex-girlfriend

well, her father... lmfao

[Sixgunsound]

Once we're done that's it. If there were significant enough issues to call it off then I see no reason to cling to failure.

[DubiousIntentions]

I see your point.

[Jewishbabygirl1]

Riiiiiiiiiiiiight. Let's just be "friends". LOL! Sorry, not happening no matter people lie to themselves or each other. An ex is always looking to get back with his or her ex, if they're looking to just be "friends". They want to stay in the picture and are looking for an opportunity to hop back in the sack with their former significant other. C'mon, people. Let's not BS.

[D_Bone_Steak]

Opinion only because... it really depends on the relationship. If it's just a chick I was fucking and she wants to hook me up with some friends of hers... more fucking. If it was some sort of deeper commitment stuff and it's officially over then I think it's best to get the fuck out of there.

[Surely]

This would depend on why the breakup and how ugly it was. If you just drifted apart. You might drift back together at a later time and you will already be over the initial nervousness of a new relationship!
Call me crazy. But I have several female friends that were never girlfriends.

[nawtee_me]

My ex-wife and I are still friends. we divorced over twenty years ago and remained friends all of this time. She has remarried and there is no issues at all. If you truly love someone you want them to be happy, even if it isn't with you... It is a choice that you make...

[Anemone978]

Depends on the relationship... Like I am still friends with my ex husband and we still talk and get along. As for this guy I really liked and wanted to date for 9 months, no I will not be his friend because he is a liar and a douche bag.

[bowenw]

I've remained friends with some exes. It depends on the reason the relationship ended. That's an old song!

[DubiousIntentions]

A little bit, but it still applies today.

[bowenw]

Yes.

Don't forget this song by the same artist:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aTbBvPoxUkk

[DubiousIntentions]

Actually was listening to some old CDs while cleaning house and that one was on it.

[bowenw]

😮😮

[Jennz6]

Sometimes you can still be friends but a lot depends on the circumstances of your relationship and how you split up?

[DubiousIntentions]

Very true.

[miniskirtcaley81]

I have remained friends with an ex girlfriend, and ex boyfriend/fiancée. It’s hard work and can be awkward at first but it can be done.

[Sparkie460]

It would depend on what caused us to split up. Most of my exes and I still chat once in a while.

[DubiousIntentions]

With good words or bad?

[Sparkie460]

We use good words. We broke up on good terms. There are a couple that I don't talk to at all

[DoctorSex]

No way. I don't really keep female friends out of respect. No man wants to know that someone like me is friends with his girl. I do it out of respect for her future relationship.

Kind regards,

DoctorSex

[Kaneki05]

Yes unless of course the reason to breaking up was a bad betrayal.

[SnowedIn]

I prefer to remain friends but I'll respect her wishes if that's not what she wants.

[LiamJHayden]

Depends upon the dynamics. If you hit it off, had fun, but you both realized the romance just isn't there, then yes. If you were purely romantic, and only one wanted it to end, no.

[MCheetah]

No, I wouldn't like them anymore after that. I've only stayed friends after breaking up with a girl once.

[DubiousIntentions]

And are you still friends? Did you initiate the breakup or did she?

[MCheetah]

Only on Facebook now, so not really. And Amanda did, but we both felt like we weren't right for each other, but liked each other's company. We worked better as friends (or maybe friends with benefits's, if I did that sort of thing) than partners.

[DubiousIntentions]

Sometimes that is the best choice.

[HighValue]

No. I have a no contact rule for any ex and I wouldn't date anyone that maintains contact with any ex either.

[Sevenpointfive]

sometimes you get along. sometimes not. the rare in between are whores

[DubiousIntentions]

Whores get along with anyone, especially if you are paying them.

[Sevenpointfive]

i don't get along with whores though. i can't respect that

[loveslongnails]

That depends on the reasons for the break up.

[dolemite89]

i’ll be cordial if we ended amicably but aside from that no i don’t want to be friends cuz we weren’t friends to begin with.

[admles]

No.

Once we break up, you pretty much don't exist in my world anymore unless we had a child together.

Other than that, I want nothing to do with an ex.

[dudeinohio]

No. Would cause issues with someone you get in a new relationship with.

[DubiousIntentions]

It's possible.

[zagor]

Depends on whether she is someone I would have wanted as a friend if we never had dated.

[Emilyis]

It may take a few years but it can work.

[ericclayton]

Definitely the ideal resolution.

[DubiousIntentions]

Ideal, but doable?

[ericclayton]

If possible.