**Okay, Yes, Still Chatting with my Most Recent One I had Left. lolxxoo
Do some EXES really EVER CHANGE?
No, actually. If you were in a relationship with them, you got to know who they really are, and after the breakup, no matter how hard they try to change themselves, they can't, because a person's way of thinking and heart is shaped up through childhood and adolescence and the sticks for life. I always go by Maya Angelo's words: "when someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time."
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Not that much no. Someone can only change so much. Over a 20 year period I couldnt imagine the change would be more significant
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- 2.4K opinions shared on Break Up & Divorce topic.
u Of course people CAN change! But that is not the relevant question.
Ask this: What makes guys want to change and how often does it actually happen? -
So I hate to sound like all those other people out there, but if the person is an ex, why does it matter whether they have changed or not? You're no longer together so what they do/how they are is not your problem anymore.
However, to answer: I do believe some exes change, yes. But it usually doesn't happen for quite some time to come. Life sends them more head knocks, or karma catches up with them, and they realize how terrible they were and they get motivated to change. Exes who don't change, are the ones who keep getting away with what they do/how they are with future lovers, or life hasn't given them the proper knocks yet.
One of my exes is still the same POS she was years ago when we met. She hasn't changed because men who date her don't care. But I did. Women are different. I think they are much less motivated to become better in relationships because not only do most men not complain, but also because women tend to view themselves as the more correct or upright party in a relationship. So they believe there's not really any need for them to change, or that they shouldn't have to.
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I know one of mine did and not in a good way. At times I felt deep regret wondering if I would handled things better years ago how things could have turned out.
I admit I do check up on her IG ever so often. This is how she’s “changed”.
- Took up smoking in her 30s
- Got a her first (visible) tattoo in her 30s
- Made buddies with far leftist feminist radical types including antifa fucks
- Rode the “cock carousel” after we broke up. Had a new boyfriend every year.
- Is now living with another woman. It’s strongly inferred in her posts they are more than just roommates/friends.
Now she was absolutely nothing like that when I dated her in her 20s. But she wanted more friends and she made them all with the wrong crowd.
However that’s her life. Of course I have no room to criticize her personal choices. But seeing that crap gives me a sense of relief. That’s someone I wouldn’t want to be married to let alone trust. It also made me feel better about the break up.
For a long time I thought things were completely my fault afterwards. But now i know that she is making shitty decisions because she decided to immerse herself in a very poisonous environment. But again that was her choice.
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If they aspire to, I certainly have taken my own breakup as motivation for as much self improvement as I can. If there is ever a future again with me and her I want to be ready, and if its not meant to be I want to make sure the same issue doesn't happen with the next person I meet.
Still a work in progress though, but on the parts that were easier to fix I already am satisfied with my changes since the whole breakup made me evaluate the relationship and what I could have done better and I had enough time to do that along with continuing to work on the things that prevented us from succeeding that are difficult to overcome.
So in my case if she comes back i'd mentally already be a superior version of myself with some of her points fixed and addressed, and some of the stuff I fault myself for fixed and addressed that she didn't even bring up. The other stuff I am still working hard on, that to is getting better but I am not where I want to be yet which is also why for now I am continuing to focus on self improvement rather than trying to get her back or trying to date.
If your ex however is perfectly happy the way he is, don't expect any change at all. In our case who I want to be aligns with what she loved. So regardless if she will ever accept me back it makes sense to continue growing and improving in this reaction because I am not just doing this for her, I am also doing it for myself. Where as the ex that doesn't do it for himself would probably just fall back into old behavior.
- 518 opinions shared on Break Up & Divorce topic.
I've been out fishing catching great whites... dang thing has been on the line for 3 months now.. can't reel it in? What should I do?
yes they do, but how long you gonna spend your time?
not the only girl doing this right now...
The issue is... what motivation they have to change and what actions they are taking to change. Waiting for someone to change is a waste of time... adults don't want to change... they are "programmed"... but somewhat reprogrammable.
and of course... do the people sitting in thechair ever change?
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It depends, If they really want to. There is temporary change, In the attempt to gain someone back as quick as possible to return to how once was.
Or they have permanently changed or what we call growth! This means in depth they have self reflected the better understand oneself and you as well. Now they understand what they must do.
Actions always speak louder than words. You will never truly know when someone has truly change Without experiencing them on how they simply be & react.
actors act for only so long that’s when you know it’s an act not a change
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I believe people can change but It's just how much and what about them changes. Some people if they are truly narcissists then they'll never change. Sociopaths or psychopaths won't change for instance. It's their personality.
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No. People rarely change. Unless something tragic happens in their life that changes their perspective completely. Like if they are a cheat for example being cheated on and hurt by it could change their perspective. or if they are raciest moving abroad and being a racism victim could change them. Just leaving someone then going back with them probably won't to it.
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i had this deal with my ex when we were 17, that should we both be single at 40 we'd marry each other.
so 40 happens in a blink of an eye and fate brought her back home. she never changed. she made that promise to every guy. i can't stand the girl. we severed ties for good.
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Only they pretend to change
Because they are trying to win you back
Everything will seem great till they are comfortable with you again and then the old shit will start back up again
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I talked about change on a different post.
YES people can change anyone can change but only if they want to and put strong effort can they change for the better!
also at the bottom of your post we’re you saying that you cheated on your recent ex or your recent ex cheated on you -
Of course SOME do. But are you willing to take the risk?
Watch John Wick 1..3.
He lost a finger, almost being killed many times, all just for a great memory.
Still, is it worth it? Age is something that only increases. -
I don't really care I feel like women are way more into exes than guys. Like if I reach the point where things are bad I just want to move on with my life.
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I guess so, however, I would never know once we were over. They could change for the better for all I know. It would require me contacting them again, which is unlikely as they treated me poorly.
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They might, if they really learn from past mistakes. But everyone can change, it's part of life.
- 379 opinions shared on Break Up & Divorce topic. u
everyone changes... for good, or bad... better, or worse... a little, or a lot
but everyone, and everything changes... - 667 opinions shared on Break Up & Divorce topic.
I have had 9 girls I was involved in before I got married. Once it was over, I never saw any of them ever again so I don't know if they changed.
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If the person they were at first was a facade, eventually that breaks down. Doesn't mean they changed, just means you finally saw the real them.
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Maybe because they are alone and can spend that time on them alone yeah they change, until you go back and put them back so they revert back.
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