Break Up & Divorce

I hate myself for cheating on my boyfriend?

So me and my boyfriend have been together for 10 months but over the course of these months there was always arguments. My boyfriend has lied to my face, said things that hurt me and done things. The only things he’s never done is cheat on me. I’ve broken up with him 4 times during the course of these 10 months. The 4th time being in the middle of this month. We ended up trying again but things just don’t feel the same. We became very distant and what made it worse was if I were to be with him I was gonna get kicked out of my house, So I haven’t hung out with him for a whole week now. I went out and did a horrible act. I told him the next day and he was mad which is understandable. He was okay with trying to fix things at first but I just don’t think I can love him the same way that I used to, so I told him I just don’t see this working anymore, but it has nothing to do with what I did. It’s more about our relationship and all the arguments and sleepless night. But I feel like such a shitty person and have been trying to get a hold of him and see what I can do to make it up, but no answer. I don’t blame him. I’ve never done anything like this before and don’t plan on doing it again but I care so much about him that I want to see what I can do to make him feel better. ( keep in mine this was my first boyfriend ever).

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Don’t get me wrong the relationship wasn’t all bad. We had an amazing 10 months but I just think there was more bad than good. I do still love him and care about him, but just not the same way I used to when everything was okay between me and him.
I hate myself for cheating on my boyfriend?
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