Been 4 years for me. Constant triggers. I just don't know how to let go. He convinced me all men are out to lie to me to get what they want. He lowered my esteem, constantly and continously triggered me using my family trauma, and he was never considerate of my opinions or boundaries. I don't know how to let go it's hard to let go as he always talks and won't leave me alone and uses guilt and gaslighting. How did you get over your toxic/trauma bonded relationship?
Have you ever been trauma bonded to someone who was extremely unhealthy and toxic for you, how did you break the bond and how long were you bonded?
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Girl I feel you, I knew a girl who been there done that with a toxic dude who messed with her head bad. Took her way too long to see through his gaslighting games and manipulation too.
First thing is go no contact, block him everywhere and delete any way he can reach out. Gotta cut the cord fully to heal. Any contact just resets the process and fuels the fire he started in you.
Surround yourself with your real ride or die girlfriends, your people who lift you up. Lean on them for support and be open about what you've been through - getting it out there helps process.
Therapy is also key if you can swing it. A professional can help work through the damage so his voice stops echoing in your head. You deserve to feel at peace again.
Time really does help too, although four years feels like forever I know. Slowly but surely he'll start fading til it's like he was never even there. You'll regain your joy and glow.
Stay busy with hobbies you love, work on you boo - make him smaller in your world while you expand yours. Soon you won't believe the hold he used to have.
You got this sis, I promise! Keep putting one foot in front of the other. One day you'll look back shocked you ever doubted how truly amazing you are on your own. We all in your corner, you got this! 💪
I wouldn't allow myself to be in a relationship like that.