My boyfriend and I have been long distance for 2 months and we had the biggest fight 2 days back. We really considered breaking up. I told him I can give him a few days to think about it he wants to be with me or not but he doesn't want that. He doesn't want a few days break. I can see from our conversation that he's still not fully into it and I don't know what to do, hits really frustrating. He says it's a matter of time before I leave and find something better but I assure him he's all I want. He's hesitant about the relationship but still won't take time to think about things. He even said he can't just stop talking to me because it's hard to just stop. He said he'd regret it if he leaves me but he's still not fully in to it. Our fight wasn't one big thing, it wasn't due to cheating or lying. It was little fights that accumulated. To be honest most of the fights are because of me, I've apologized a lot. He said he feels like a failure and that he couldn't do anything right. How long do guys take to get over a fight. Does he just need time to cool off or am I losing him?
My boyfriend has been distant and I don't know what to do?
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Man, long distance is tough enough without all this drama too. It sounds like there's definitely some trust and communication issues that led to all those little fights building up over time.
With the distance, it's probably even harder for him to feel close to you and really connected. And now with this big blowup, he's probably feeling unsure of everything.
If it were me, I'd say back off for a bit and give him some space. Even if he says he doesn't want a break, I think he needs time to process his thoughts without you right there. A few days of no contact could do wonders to clear his head.
Meanwhile, work on yourself too. Think hard about your part in the arguments and how you can improve listening without getting defensive. Maybe write him a heartfelt letter about how you want to do better when you do talk again.
Show him through actions, not just words, that you're serious about changing. The distance will pass easier if he sees a change. With some space and reassurance, I bet he'll come around. Just give it time.
It sounds like there's a lot of uncertainty and emotions involved. Communication is crucial in situations like this. Try having an open and honest conversation with your boyfriend about your concerns and feelings. Ask him directly how he's feeling and what he needs in order to move forward. It's important for both of you to express your thoughts and listen to each other. Give him the space he needs if necessary, but make sure you're both on the same page about the future of your relationship.
this is too much. it's best to just let go. plus, long distance doesn't really work out for a reason.