My boyfriend has been distant for about a week?

[Anonymous]

I feel like my boyfriend is acting distant but i also feel like it’s all in my head and I’m just clingy and miss spending time with him. Last week he texted me everyday that i went to work and on Wednesday he texted and called me and we talked all day and he said “we will definitely see each other on Friday” Thursday he came over my house and he hugged in me , we kissed, held hands the whole time he was there and he asked me did i wanna go to the movies tomorrow (Friday ) i said yes and he asked could i pay because he has been short on money.
I said sure then i asked him if he wasn’t busy on Saturday could i come over he said he would let me know. When Friday came he texted me two hours before the movie started and said he couldn’t go because something came up and he apologized. He asked me how my day was and how i was doing.
I texted back and said “it’s alright are we still on for tomorrow so i can come over your house” he never answered my text so Saturday i called him and he never answered my call and he still hadn’t answered my text. So i figured he was busy.
The next day (Sunday) he texted me and asked how i was doing i said i was doing good and i asked him how was work going and what happened to us hanging out yesterday he said “i was busy I’m so sorry” so Monday and Tuesday we’re alright he texted me both days while i was at work and he came to my job and sat with me on my break on Tuesday.
But yesterday and Wednesday he wasn’t really texting back so i had a gut feeling something was wrong and he never answered i asked him was he okay , was i bothering him, did he still want to talk to me because he seemed distant these past few days” and he never answered He answers all my other text but when i ask him if something is wrong or is he alright he doesn’t reply

[VaIiant]

I really want to be on the Askers side, but I had a relationship like this where a guy I was really into completely changed and started being super clingy, and wanting to hang out with me everyday and texted me constantly, like you’re doing with your SO. Actually, the texts were kind of similar to what you sent, but he sent 44 of them. Because of his suffocating behavior, I began to withdraw myself from him, and eventually broke up with him. All because his clingy behavior made me kinda disgusted to be around him.
Please take this as advice, it might be that your boyfriend is in the same place as I was.

[Asker]

How do i give him space , i didn’t mean to be clingy

[VaIiant]

When he’s not responding, he’s probably busy. Don’t text him asking if he’s okay, or where he is. He’s not dead. Let him come to you.

[Asker]

I don’t ask him where he is i just asked why he was distant this week

[VaIiant]

My ex’s exact questions were normally “am I bothering you, are you ok”, etc, like you described
If you’re truly worried meet up with him in person and ask if you’re being suffocating, I guarantee you if you are he’ll be honest.

[Asker]

Okay thanks

[potatoisme]

Well if he doesn't to your "is there something wrong" questions or avoids them, then there is definitely something wrong.
We can't really know what it is tho
But if u keep asking him if u're bothering him etc he might get pissed cuz it sounds kinda clingy

[Asker]

Am i being clingy or does it sound like something is wrong

[potatoisme]

U're being a bit clingy but he also sounds like sth is not ok

[potatoisme]

So a little bit of both
I say give him some space and let him initiate contacting you

[Asker]

How am i being clingy i don’t understand

[potatoisme]

You r being a bit clingy because u keep searching for him while he might be busy. He already told u sth came up so if u keep asking if everything is fine and if he's bothered by u, it does get a bit annoying

[Asker]

Well he told me he was busy on Saturday , but Wednesday and Thursday he was rarely talking to me as well

[potatoisme]

That's why I said it's a little bit of both

[Asker]

Okay

[PinkMichae]

I would back off and let him come to you. Don't be so available. He should at least have enough consideration to tell you if it's you or something else. So at this point if he avoids your question again and text how are you. Don't text back for a few days.

[Asker]

Ohokay but won’t i be playing his game if i avoid him a s well

[PinkMichae]

I don't look at it as a game. I look at it as showing him he needs to be more considerate or You won't be there for his every need. I would stop worrying about him and focus on me.

[Asker]

Okay thanks

[zizu9]

You did mention that your boyfriend is short on money, if he's always asking you for money or doesn't have enough to spend on you then it might be a problem, maybe he's ashamed, but when a guy suddenly gets distant for no reason it could be that he's going through problems of his own and he's distracted by that and chooses to avoid discussing it with you because it won't solve anything, still I don't think he doesn't love you anymore from what I've read I don't think that's the case.

[Asker]

He’s always had money issues though and we’ve always discussed it. He has borrowed money from me numerous times , so i don’t think that’s the case. He won’t answer any of my questions and i think he wants to break up but can’t because he doesn’t want to hurt me , i asked him did he want me to leave him alone i asked him did he want to break up or stop talking and he never answers those questions but anything else i say it ask him he responds

[zizu9]

Hmm It doesn't look good but give him more time lets say a week or two maybe he'll change, in case the issue persists and you're both not happy or if you think that this relationship is not going anywhere then I'm afraid you it's time for you to let go since you can't do anything about it.

[Asker]

Honestly what do you think is the case here I’m not a guy so I’m not used to this

[zizu9]

I'm sorry but I really don't know why his behavior changed, not all men are the same , there could be multiple reasons to why he's acting like that, could be he doesn't love you anymore, he wanna be alone, he's depressed because he's somewhat broke... But the question you should be asking is are you willing to stay with him even though he's not trying to make it work , are you ready to move on in case that happens?

[Asker]

I just want closure

[zizu9]

And you'll get it eventually, just give him some time and if he continues acting cold, then you confront him and if he doesn't answer then you should leave him, don't waste your time even if you still love him while he might not love you back.

[Asker]

Okay thanks

[zizu9]

You're welcome, best of luck with whatever your heart chooses.

[JThomas]

i agree with zizu9, if it keeps going like this don't be afraid to confront him about it and tell that if he doesn't change his attitude or give you closure that you might have to leave him, because it hurts your feelings.
Don't get emotional, be serious about it. if he really wants to stay with you he'll be the one to make things right.

[Asker]

Thanks guys

[simply_dude]

Don't waste your time... ask him upfront if something is off or if this is too difficult for you then stop texting him for good... If really cares about you he will come around and apologize or else he doesn't feel the same way for you like before anymore

[Asker]

Okay thanks everything was alright last week 😕

[siempreparaiso]

Oh! 😔 that's hard. Does he work? It sounds like something must had happened at home or at work if he works. Asking for money, it's part of the puzzle issue that cought my attention, may be he is financially stuck and he is embarrassed to share that information with you at the moment? But whatever the outcome of your relationship goes, just hang in there tight. He will tell you on his own time, just right now he may not be ready to do so, just yet. Hope all goes well for you. ☺

[Asker]

What do you mean by financially stuck? He sleeps me all the time when his bills are piling up or when his money is tight he is usually open

[siempreparaiso]

Ummm... you stated on your head letter, that he had asked you to pay as he was short on cash? So has he said anything further of that discussion of being short of money to you? That's why I said may be he is not telling you about it as he may feel ashame or just holding back something from you. But if he talks to you openly about money issue, and if he or you haven't ask about it, then may be try asking about it and see what he says. ☺

[Asker]

Okay thanks and yeah he openly discusses his money problems with me

[siempreparaiso]

That's cool. Not every couple likes to discuss finance as its a big topic. I think it's all about communication within two people. Best wishes.

[Asker]

Thanks

[DualityGreen]

Something is wrong, that's for sure.

Normally when your SO totally flips the script overnight like this, they are cheating, but I would not jump to that conclusion.

Let him know that you know something is wrong. Let him know that you will be there when he wants to come out of his shell. After that, give him space.

If he doesn't come out of it in a week or 2, it is pretty safe to say it is over.

[Asker]

Okay thanks

[kunalmehta005]

He's going through something that's for sure... If u ask him what's wrong then it's possible that he may get irritated and break up with u... So the best thing u can do is either talk to him about this face to face or try to be patient and someday he might tell u what's wrong...

[Asker]

Is it me? I have asked him does he want to stop talking or stop seeing each other an does he want me to leave him alone... he never answers that. But he’ll answer and reply to anything else. He was all over me last week literally... he came over (we cuddled , kissed, he hugged me the whole time he was over my house) he asked about going to the movies. This week is like he's a whole different person

[kunalmehta005]

Have u asked him these questions like leaving u and such before?

[Asker]

No this is my first time

[kunalmehta005]

Then don't ask him or else he'll get irritated... Give him some space...

[Anonymous]

It may be best to talk about what is wrong/ going on when you see him in person, as that way it's a lot harder for him to avoid answering the question.

It defiantly does sound like something is going on and it's not fair for him to ignore you completely, but some times people just shut everyone else out when they have something going on with them rather then talk about it with others.

[Asker]

I feel like he wants to break up but doesn’t have it in him to say anything

[Opinion Owner]

In the past has he talked to you about his problems or does he keep them to himself?

Also when use have had issues does he avoid an argument or bringing things up when he was unhappy about something in the relationship or would he avoid talking about it or avoid you?

[Asker]

He usually is the talkative one in the relationship i usually hold things back. Honestly we rarely argue lol we have discussions and disagreements but we talk them out right then and we’re happy again he has never yelled at me or anything like that he’s super sweet. He was just talking to me last week like nothing was wrong. He sent me a GoodMorning beautiful text, He came over and was all over me and calling me and came to see me. We made plans for the movies too! That’s why I’m confused what happened in the past week that is making him like this

[Opinion Owner]

Since he's usually open about everything his problems and relationship issues that is strange for him to shut himself of like that and not explain to you.

It's not a good position for you to be in to have to constantly wonder why but maybe give him a few more days unless you see him before to ask what is going on and hopefully he will explain why he was like that.

[Asker]

Yeah that’s why i think it’s me lol

[Opinion Owner]

Give it a few days... As hard as it is try not to let it get to you, keep busy to take your mind of it :-(. It's a difficult thing he's doing but he may have a good reason for behaving that way.

[Asker]

Okay thanks

[Anonymous]

I wish I could help, but my boyfriend didn't contact me at all for a week... so, maybe something happenned that he doesn't want to bother you with, or he just has a lot in his mind because of work, very busy or something... He will probably open up to you about it sooner or later, so don't worry too much.

[Asker]

Did you try contacting him

[Opinion Owner]

I did too, yes.. I wish we could just know what's up in men mind sometimes.

[Asker]

Ok I’m sorry

[Opinion Owner]

Thank you, I hope your boyfriend will open up sooner than mine :) It's gonna be ok.

[Asker]

Thankyou

[Bellydancer83]

Give him space. No contact. If he texts, take a while to text back. Keep answer short. He might be going through shit. Don't jump to conclusions yet. He'll figure it out on his own.

[Asker]

Okay thanks i just wanna be there for him if he is going through things but he’s not letting me

[Bellydancer83]

He will open up on his own. I suggest going on youtube and watching coach jaci about what to do when men pull away. And some other videos Susan winters etc

[Asker]

Okay thanks i will , could it be me or something I’ve done in the past week

[Bellydancer83]

You already gave him the option of lending ear. Now give him no contact. It will clear his head and hopefully make him miss you.

[Asker]

Okay thanks

[Lovemusic]

Give him time and let him think over what is budging him. And when he is ready he will come and tell u.

[Asker]

Do you think it’s me.. like he wants to end it?

[Lovemusic]

No he just wants space. Thats what normally happens. Just take it easy. Don't over think it.

[Asker]

Okay thanks hun!!! I’m over here panicking like i did something

[Lovemusic]

No problem hun. I am here if u need anything ok

[Asker]

I have one more question how’d you know it’s just space that he needs and nothing else

[Lovemusic]

Well if u were the one that was like that. Most likely u want Ur space and to think things out. Right? Just put urself in his shoes

[Asker]

Yeah or i didn’t want to be bothered with the other person anymore lol

[Asker]

It’s just so weird last week everything was good he was fine

[Lovemusic]

The other thing u can do is put the cards on the table and say how u feel. Then if he ignores that then u don't need a guy like that u are worthy of a respond and love and keep Ur head up no matter what

[Asker]

Thanks

[Lovemusic]

No problem I am here for u no matter what ok

[pinayfit]

Maybe he's going on a tough time just be there for him tell him how much you appreciates and love him.

[Asker]

I’m trying it’s hard as hell

[pinayfit]

If you can't do it anymore then confront him ask him how he feels for you

[Daddywolfe]

Give it time

[Asker]

Okay

[cluelesscanuck]

had similar thing happen...

roles reversed, and well month later it was over... leading upto the final couple weeks I already knew it was over...

[Asker]

Wow 😢

[georger1]

I think he is upset because he was out of money. Men have ego that's why they normally refuse a date or a hang out. The frustration may be big enough. A simple opinion.

[Asker]

If we usually can’t go out because of money he tells me.. it has to be something else

[georger1]

Then try to be mature and speak to him like other people from here told you.

[Asker]

Okay

[Anonymous]

i dont even get why men mess with young and insecure women. it must be for their bodies... .

[Asker]

What do you mean

[hunnyjangra]

You should give him space and wait for a week after that if he doesn't come at you or don't reply you should take a final stand

[Asker]

Okay thanks i will do that

[Daddywolfe]

Something personal came up I guess he didn't wanna discuss it

[Asker]

How do you know that’s the case

[Daddywolfe]

Just a point of view

[Asker]

Okay

[tezequal]

That doesn't sound like a relationship to me.

[Asker]

Yeah 😢

[theFantasticJ]

He's sick of your jokes

[Asker]

Jokes?

[theFantasticJ]

Yep. They're bad

[hardhenry69]

Maybe he trying to tell you something

[Asker]

Like what?

[hardhenry69]

Seeing someone else

[Asker]

Ohokay i see

[Iheartchubbygirls]

Have you tried to talk to him about it?

[Asker]

Yes did you read what i wrote

[Iheartchubbygirls]

It only showed me the First lines give me a sec

[Iheartchubbygirls]

Ok... Well maybe he's cheating on you maybe he having a hard time on something and dont want to share i guess the best u can do is directly ask him WTF is going on

[Asker]

I’ve tried he never answers

[hellacray]

Maybe he's pregnant

[Asker]

I hope not

[hellacray]

Get a stick and have him pee on it

[Asker]

Lol ok

[hellacray]

Yup better to know for sure

[Asker]

Okay

[johnkarl]

Have fun with me

[Asker]

Um no

[johnkarl]

Online fun.. Shall be secret for sure anonymously

[johnkarl]

Reply is agreed