My boyfriend has secret emails

[jax2282]

I have been getting a weird feeling lately, my boyfriend has been sort of distant and we wouldn't do stuff with me unless I iniate it. I have been hurt very bad in the past so I need to know if I'm freaking out over nothing or if I have something to worry about. I saw his CC statement and there was a weird charge I called because I have a weird feeling and the company told me its for a adult site and they told me the email, which I have never heard of in my life, I only thought he had his work and personal email, so now I know he has a secret email, he said he went on the p*rn site and it was suppose to be a free trial and he forgot and they billed his CC, and he promised he wasn't doing anything bad in this email. So my curiouslty got the best of me and I went onto the email to do the forgot your password thing and it it said send a link to a completly other email I have never heard of. Since he's been distant with me I don't know if he's meeting girls offline or something, sometimes I look at his phone and there's texxts from his friends and other times its completly empty. I am so scared now somethings going on

Updates

+1 y

also he gets very defensive and annoyed with me

[Anonymous]

Considering how you ransack through his private emails and phone, I'm not surprised he keeps things from you. Or that you might have drive him away to the arms of another woman.

Insecure women are trapped in a viscious circle, I think.

Their insecurity drives them to paranoid behavior with the next guy. That drives the guy to cheat on her/ dump her.

That makes her more insecure because in her mind it justifies her paranoia.

The heightened insecurity drives them to paranoid behavior with the next guy.

and so on.

It never seems to stop.

[jax2282]

i agree with you and that's why I am asking this question, I only feel this way because he has been acting distant and I try so hard not to look through his stuff but I'm sorry I don't want to get an STD or be cheated on again and I have done nothing wrong we live together and all of the sudden he doesn't really want to cuddle or anything, I'm trying to relax and hope its just a p*rn fetish but what if something else is going on? Do I just act like don't care? If he's cheating will it eventually show?

[Eiffelgirl21]

True..but, not all guys are like that. And, some are willing to help. Or try and help. If the help doesn't work..then they are driven away

[AlexCab]

Talk to him. Maybe he's just a big masturbator, know what I mean? P*rn doesn't mean he's cheating. Different emails don't mean it either. He might be embarassed by it so you poking in his belongings doesn't help.

Talk to him. If he is effectively cheating...well, dump him. If he's not, you may need to decide if you do want to be with him or not. P*rn or cheating he is effectively hiding stuff from you...which is not bad, but it does seem this causes some sort of guilt in him.

[jax2282]

i did talk to him he said he wasn't doing anything bad it was just p*orn and that he used that email for his phone to set up the google contacts and what not, but I never even knew about this email and he can pay for p*orn but not touch me, I just have a really bad feeling. I want to believe him so bad but why hide it, if he's hiding this what else? He works late now only an hour or so though, and does answer if I call, and he never randomly goes out or is missing so I don't know if I'm just paranoi

[AlexCab]

Well, only one way to find out. You need to either confront him or confront yourself and get rid of these fears you have. No easy way of doing it I'm afraid...

[Anonymous]

Well, I wouldn't like all the secrecy for sure.

I would have a mature talk with him about what is bothering you.

Face to face.

And, get it all out. If he seems to be legit, then believe him...but, if not, move on to someone who DESERVES YOU

Personally, those secret emails would be a deal breaker for me. Unless he had a better excuse.

I know it is hard..and it hurts. I am sorry. Maybe it is nothing? It really might not be anything. I don't think he is cheating..but, still the secret emails and p*rn?

*hugs*

[jax2282]

i did talk to him, and he apologized at first and said he just did it and only used the site twice, I don't care about p*orn its the secert stuff, he said he made this email because he had to set up the google contacts for his phone. When I cancelled the membership his phone beeped and he said he got a notification but he said he didn't even know the password for that email and he was clicking things a million times like he was deleting things he said sorry but then started getting defensive

[Opinion Owner]

well, maybe you just need time to cool off. Him as well. I have noticed...guys need time to cool off. And, to realize what they did is wrong. Silence is deadly with guys.

[jax2282]

so you think I just just totally back off? trsut me I don't want to think these thoughts at all. I feel sick over this, I hate not knowing

[Opinion Owner]

I wouldn't back off completely ...but only answer his phone calls..don't call him..and don't text him unless he does first. Also, see him but only when he asks to see you. And even then don't make yourself so available.