Do you believe in the three month rule after a relationship break up?

[lemonette]

I've heard that it is the best period of time (3 months) after a break up to be able to deal with the situtation. Do you believe in this three month rule?

[dynamicyandere]

No, I go about my relationships differently.


If there’s a relationship issue to work out, I work it out without resorting to breaking up.


Breaking up due to conflict is emotionally immature in my opinion.


It’s running away from the problem and taking drastic measures, instead of simply cooling off and addressing the problem.


It could also be manipulative if one person uses breaking up to ‘punish’ their partner.


If I’m with someone and we have an argument, I don’t need 90 days to clear my head.


I just need a couple hours or so. Or a couple days at MOST.


3 months is overkill. Also, why does it need to be a breakup? Is there a need to put a hold on exclusivity?


Why break up and stop being exclusive, unless you’re seeing other people?


If you’re going to be loyal the entire time, you can just cool off, agree to give each other space for a while, and let each other know when you’re ready to talk again.


When I break up, it’s final.


It’s ending a relationship, for good.


It’s not something I decide to do impulsively.


It’s always after months of careful, clear-headed thought, to ensure that it’s not going to be a decision that I regret.


Breaking up isn’t a conflict resolution tool to me.


It’s a decisive and firm decision to remove someone from my life.

[dynamicyandere]

If by ‘deal with the situation’ you’re not talking about getting back together, but rather moving on from someone, I believe that’s very case-by-case.

It all depends on how strong your attachment is to that person.

How much emotional charge is left?

If the thought of them still causes your feelings to fluctuate, then it’s going to take longer to move on.

But, if you’re already quite apathetic about the thought of them, then you’ll move on quickly because it looks like you’ve already checked out earlier, you just haven’t made it official yet.

I moved on from some exes within a week.

While with others, it may take a year or even more.

It all depends on how strong the attachment or emotional investment there is at the time of the breakup.

[dynamicyandere]

3 months of a break, only to get back together is ridiculous.

But, 3 months to move on from and ex, isn’t a bad place to start.

Though, I’d say 3 months is more on the shorter end of the spectrum.

It’s cutting it close, if you want to enter a new relationship without relationship baggage from your last relationship interfering with anything.

Anything shorter than 3 months, and you’re in rebound relationship territory.

You’re not going be clear-headed enough to enter into a new serious relationship.

If you do, there’s a good chance that one of the main reasons you’re with your new partner is because their presence helps you cope with your recent loss.

And that’s unfair to them, if you’re simply using them as a coping mechanism.

But you might not even be aware of what you’re doing until your pain of loss has subsided enough.

So, it’s best to not commit to any new relationship until you are truly clear-headed.

[black]

That's one of those things that's like urban legend in the dating world. It's like Bigfoot – some swear by its existence, others think it's just a myth. Personally, I think it really depends on the individual and the relationship.

The idea behind this rule, as far as I understand it, is to give yourself a three-month grace period after a breakup before jumping into another relationship. It's supposed to be a time for self-reflection, healing, and getting back to your own groove without the influence of a partner.

In some cases, it makes a ton of sense. Like, if you've been in a long, intense relationship, you might need that time to rediscover who you are outside of that partnership. We've all seen that friend who jumps from relationship to relationship and never seems to have a moment to just breathe and be themselves, right?

Sometimes, you might meet someone great just after a breakup, and it feels right to go for it. Should you say no just because of an arbitrary timeline? I don't think so. Some people bounce back quicker, others need more time, and that's totally okay.

Plus, let's be real – emotions and relationships are messy. They don't always follow the rules we try to set for them. So, while the three-month rule might be a good guideline for some, it's definitely not a hard and fast rule that applies to everyone. What's most important is being honest with yourself about what you're ready for and taking things at your own pace. No rush, no pressure.

[Anonymous]

i think there are sexual needs you want taken care of right away, you want a guy to love and ravage your body like you probably haven't been for awhile and a lot of guys like to take advantage of that but that's ok if it's only sex, but for a next relationship, it would take me much longer than 3 months to be ready for

[Bl0n6eguy]

If you know how the human body reacts to sex hormonal, this is TERRIBLE advice. Women's bodies produce oxytocin during sexual contact that make then chemically "catch feelings". If you trigger oxytocin and then tear yourself away from the sexual partner, your body will try to weaken it's effect to reduce the withdrawal symptoms this causes you.

TDLR: Having meaningless sex between relationships permanently degrades your ability to feel a connection and experience true love.

[Opinion Owner]

@Bl0n6eguy

[Bl0n6eguy]

Understandable, but this is a sincere warning to help your future self. Save that sexual energy for your next love.

[Paris13]

I Broke It Off Over One Year Ago And Called The Shots. No Three Month Anything. lolxxoo

[Paris13]

Tanks to Gag and God. xxoo

[OlderAndWiser]

You need to ignore "rules" such as the this three month rule, or the three date rule. This is YOUR life and even if these rules legitimately worked for someone else, it doesn't mean they will work for you. After a break up, take some time to lick your wounds, reflect on what happened and why, and start dating when you know that you won't automatically be comparing every new guy to your ex.

[HawkPerception]

Nope. Never heard of it lol. You don't have to live your life by rules. Everyone moves on from things at different rates. For me it's as easy as throwing out and deleting all the photos, videos, and letters, taking a deep breath to take in my new reality and accepting it, and looking towards the future where I can possibly find the one that's right for me.

It's really all about how you process scenarios and rationalize things in your mind. I personally don't understand how people take months or years to get over it. I would only understand if their partner died or something. But otherwise, if they cheated on you, then you should be able to move on easily. If they left you, then they didn't value you, as much as you valued them. If you left them, then you weren't satisfied with aspects of the relationship. It should be simple to move on if you just use a little logic.

[JuanDong]

Nope. I get out there the very next weekend. Coffee, a movie, etc. NO mention of ex unless necessary to move conversation. The purpose is to keep my heart from hardening and "nerves" from growing. No expectations other than some laughs, etc.

As time progresses, dating is meeting and mutually entertaining new people and becoming very relaxed. Here is where you meet good people without doing a rebound faux pas.

There is no such thing as a soul mate or "The One."

There are thousands and thousands of people who make great dates and who may match with you for a cery long time.

[ArrowheadSW]

Seems like a fair amount of time. The last relationship that I was in (that was fairly serious) ended for mutually agreeable reasons. But it still took 2-3 months to get used to not having her in my life. On the other hand when I was in my mid-twenties it took me much longer to get over a breakup because I didn't have a sense of "closure" at the time.

[ZackBan]

Yes I do.

After my last breakup I tried to get backcon the horse right away and did hook up with a lovely woman but I was far too shaken up to even muster any feelings for her so things ended fast.

It taught me that the heart needs to physically heal after being broken and it's not just something people say.

So 3 months is a good period. It could be longer if need be. (Just until your ex's smell fades away from your nasal receptors)

[Miristheiss]

If you were hurt by the breakup (the one who did not want to break up) then it probably is healthy to take some time to heal and ground yourself.

If you were already checked out and were already scoping for new potential mates then there is no reason to wait for anything.

[loveslongnails]

Not at all. When you know it's wrong or it's going nowhere, it feels like a weight off your shoulders when you end things. At least, it was like that for me, so I didn't have any rules like that. Why would you pass up someone great if they come along after one month, or two?

[exitseven]

What are you supposed to do in the three months? Wait 3 months and try and get back with her? Or do you wait 3 months before you go out with somebody else?

I used to get right back up on the horse.

[DizzyDesii]

No matter how much I loved someone, when I’m single im single. I may cry about it 3 days tops but I’m onto the next by the end of the week if i feel I have chemistry with someone else.

[ohmyguy]

Any one can believe any thing they like... lol

It's a wonderfully considerate theory... virtuous fantasy of our imagination... lol
Break up... broken!!! .. likely rules n contious intention to abide by any was likely off the table

[TenderFantasy]

It might depend on how long the relationship was to begin with. I feel 4 months is better.

[TenderFantasy]

Oh and what happend.

[LiamJHayden]

Nope. I require no recovery period. If we break up, it is not meant to be and I will not forgo something that could be great because of some artificial limit.

[RingOfFire]

I'm still getting over some relationships I had in my teens and 20s 50 years later. And I was always the one who broke them off. If you can move on in three months, you haven't tasted love yet.

[Crankor]

That's just what the estimated time frame of how long it takes for your emotions to recover and your brain to stop always thinking about that person. But yes, 3 months seems like an accurate time

[sheikalana]

Yes. I feel like after three months you'll be healed enough to start moving on.

[Ms_Facesitter]

My rule is to go back out there when I'm ready. No deadline.

[Nikki1989]

How can it possibly take that long?

[Ironic_Method]

Nope. Never have. If the relationship is over, then I am checked out from it and ready to move on.

[RedInnocent68]

That’s a rule? I’m not waiting three months for anything.

[Whoswhohere]

I don't believe in any rules that are not official