Do you believe in the three month rule after a relationship break up?

Question

I've heard that it is the best period of time (3 months) after a break up to be able to deal with the situtation. Do you believe in this three month rule?

black · Accepted Answer

That's one of those things that's like urban legend in the dating world. It's like Bigfoot – some swear by its existence, others think it's just a myth. Personally, I think it really depends on the individual and the relationship.

The idea behind this rule, as far as I understand it, is to give yourself a three-month grace period after a breakup before jumping into another relationship. It's supposed to be a time for self-reflection, healing, and getting back to your own groove without the influence of a partner.

In some cases, it makes a ton of sense. Like, if you've been in a long, intense relationship, you might need that time to rediscover who you are outside of that partnership. We've all seen that friend who jumps from relationship to relationship and never seems to have a moment to just breathe and be themselves, right?

Sometimes, you might meet someone great just after a breakup, and it feels right to go for it. Should you say no just because of an arbitrary timeline? I don't think so. Some people bounce back quicker, others need more time, and that's totally okay.

Plus, let's be real – emotions and relationships are messy. They don't always follow the rules we try to set for them. So, while the three-month rule might be a good guideline for some, it's definitely not a hard and fast rule that applies to everyone. What's most important is being honest with yourself about what you're ready for and taking things at your own pace. No rush, no pressure.

dynamicyandere · Accepted Answer

No, I go about my relationships differently.

If there’s a relationship issue to work out, I work it out without resorting to breaking up.

Breaking up due to conflict is emotionally immature in my opinion.

It’s running away from the problem and taking drastic measures, instead of simply cooling off and addressing the problem.

It could also be manipulative if one person uses breaking up to ‘punish’ their partner.

If I’m with someone and we have an argument, I don’t need 90 days to clear my head.

I just need a couple hours or so. Or a couple days at MOST.

3 months is overkill. Also, why does it need to be a breakup? Is there a need to put a hold on exclusivity?

Why break up and stop being exclusive, unless you’re seeing other people?

If you’re going to be loyal the entire time, you can just cool off, agree to give each other space for a while, and let each other know when you’re ready to talk again.

When I break up, it’s final.

It’s ending a relationship, for good.

It’s not something I decide to do impulsively.

It’s always after months of careful, clear-headed thought, to ensure that it’s not going to be a decision that I regret.

Breaking up isn’t a conflict resolution tool to me.

It’s a decisive and firm decision to remove someone from my life.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

i think there are sexual needs you want taken care of right away, you want a guy to love and ravage your body like you probably haven't been for awhile and a lot of guys like to take advantage of that but that's ok if it's only sex, but for a next relationship, it would take me much longer than 3 months to be ready for

Paris13 · Accepted Answer

I Broke It Off Over One Year Ago And Called The Shots. No Three Month Anything. lolxxoo

OlderAndWiser · Answer

You need to ignore "rules" such as the this three month rule, or the three date rule. This is YOUR life and even if these rules legitimately worked for someone else, it doesn't mean they will work for you. After a break up, take some time to lick your wounds, reflect on what happened and why, and start dating when you know that you won't automatically be comparing every new guy to your ex.

HawkPerception · Answer

Nope. Never heard of it lol. You don't have to live your life by rules. Everyone moves on from things at different rates. For me it's as easy as throwing out and deleting all the photos, videos, and letters, taking a deep breath to take in my new reality and accepting it, and looking towards the future where I can possibly find the one that's right for me.

It's really all about how you process scenarios and rationalize things in your mind. I personally don't understand how people take months or years to get over it. I would only understand if their partner died or something. But otherwise, if they cheated on you, then you should be able to move on easily. If they left you, then they didn't value you, as much as you valued them. If you left them, then you weren't satisfied with aspects of the relationship. It should be simple to move on if you just use a little logic.

JuanDong · Answer

Nope. I get out there the very next weekend. Coffee, a movie, etc. NO mention of ex unless necessary to move conversation. The purpose is to keep my heart from hardening and "nerves" from growing. No expectations other than some laughs, etc.

As time progresses, dating is meeting and mutually entertaining new people and becoming very relaxed. Here is where you meet good people without doing a rebound faux pas.

There is no such thing as a soul mate or "The One."

There are thousands and thousands of people who make great dates and who may match with you for a cery long time.

ArrowheadSW · Answer

Seems like a fair amount of time. The last relationship that I was in (that was fairly serious) ended for mutually agreeable reasons. But it still took 2-3 months to get used to not having her in my life. On the other hand when I was in my mid-twenties it took me much longer to get over a breakup because I didn't have a sense of "closure" at the time.

ZackBan · Answer

Yes I do.

After my last breakup I tried to get backcon the horse right away and did hook up with a lovely woman but I was far too shaken up to even muster any feelings for her so things ended fast.

It taught me that the heart needs to physically heal after being broken and it's not just something people say.

So 3 months is a good period. It could be longer if need be. (Just until your ex's smell fades away from your nasal receptors)

Miristheiss · Answer

If you were hurt by the breakup (the one who did not want to break up) then it probably is healthy to take some time to heal and ground yourself.

If you were already checked out and were already scoping for new potential mates then there is no reason to wait for anything.

loveslongnails · Answer

Not at all. When you know it's wrong or it's going nowhere, it feels like a weight off your shoulders when you end things. At least, it was like that for me, so I didn't have any rules like that. Why would you pass up someone great if they come along after one month, or two?

exitseven · Answer

What are you supposed to do in the three months? Wait 3 months and try and get back with her? Or do you wait 3 months before you go out with somebody else?  I used to get right back up on the horse.

DizzyDesii · Answer

No matter how much I loved someone, when I’m single im single. I may cry about it 3 days tops but I’m onto the next by the end of the week if i feel I have chemistry with someone else.

ohmyguy · Answer

Any one can believe any thing they like... lol

It's a wonderfully considerate theory... virtuous fantasy of our imagination... lol
Break up... broken!!! .. likely rules n contious intention to abide by any was likely off the table

RingOfFire · Answer

I'm still getting over some relationships I had in my teens and 20s 50 years later. And I was always the one who broke them off. If you can move on in three months, you haven't tasted love yet.

Nikki1989 · Answer

How can it possibly take that long?

TenderFantasy · Answer

It might depend on how long the relationship was to begin with. I feel 4 months is better.

LiamJHayden · Answer

Nope. I require no recovery period. If we break up, it is not meant to be and I will not forgo something that could be great because of some artificial limit.

Crankor · Answer

That's just what the estimated time frame of how long it takes for your emotions to recover and your brain to stop always thinking about that person. But yes, 3 months seems like an accurate time

sheikalana · Answer

Yes. I feel like after three months you'll be healed enough to start moving on.

Ms_Facesitter · Answer

My rule is to go back out there when I'm ready. No deadline.

Ironic_Method · Answer

Nope. Never have. If the relationship is over, then I am checked out from it and ready to move on.

RedInnocent68 · Answer

That’s a rule? I’m not waiting three months for anything.

Whoswhohere · Answer

I don't believe in any rules that are not official

Minahh · Answer

No not really. A lot of couple break up after a year.

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

I do I definitely think you have to give yourself time to heal

NathanDavis · Answer

to deal with... which situation exactly?

purplepoppy · Answer

It takes as long as it takes.

ChicoFromThe305 · Answer

Nope, I get a 2 for one deal everytime with that

Drumlin2001 · Answer

What situation? You're broken up, time to move on

Jennz6 · Answer

Maybe, I’m not really sure

Anonymous · Answer

No lol when I'm single I'm single

Anonymous · Answer

Yeah, I think that makes some sense.

jahaims · Answer

Nonsense

Do you believe in the three month rule after a relationship break up?

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