My boyfriend randomly broke up with me because he wants to pursue his hobbies, what?

[Anonymous]

i've been dating this guy for a few months, he's the first one who genuinely interested me and i could imagine us going far, but on the 26 dec, he told me that he can't be in a relationship, that he is not ready, that his hobbies will take up his time and he's afraid that he won't have time for me and he does not want me to hurt from the fact that he MIGHT not have enough time to focus on me like i deserve. He was the one who initiated his interested. We got together and he would tell and show me and do things expressing how happy he is, saying i make life easy because he has issues with decision making, we were always laughing and very open about our opinions. Suddenly, he had a rise in hobbies. He started these hobbies literally a month ago, they're learning 2 languages (he basically knows), football, now guitar, university work (he barley studies and does very well). He tells me, he has been feeling overwhelmed in the past month juggling all these, but he said and agrees that i have never stopped him from doing these or anything else, but suddenly he just can't handle me in his new schedule. imagine my shock when he suddenly told me this because i had 0 clue, he got me a Christmas gift, had dates before we parted for the holidays, got me flowers and then this. it hurts and it's annoying and i feel cheated. what the hell. i let him go, but thats so unfair to dump this on me and let me believe everything was going well...

Updates

4 mo

so, do i block him? should i stay friends with him? he was genuinely such a good person and i think this reason is ridiculous.. I've spoken to very few friends and they find his reasoning stupid... i understand being young and wanting to grow but the way he did it hurts, i actually liked him. i always wanted to help him and listen to his worries but this he couldnt handle...

[Anonymous]

Well he could be telling the truth. But maybe he’s not telling the truth about how much of his tome you were taking up as far as him giving you attention. He may have lied to spare your feelings. He may have met another girl who happens to be the reason why he took up this other hobby about a month ago. Maybe he got what he wanted from you sexually now he’s moving on? There’s a lot of possibilities. If he’s being honest about focusing on his hobbies, not ready for a relationship shop of respect him more for being honest. So you could still remain friends, maybe something will come up later down the road. But at the same time a lot of women will jump when a ma. Says jump. So if you were to stay friends he might say to come over, leading tones, just being used.

[tylrswftversion]

first of all I'm really sorry for you must have been shoked and heartbroken.

I think time management is really necessary to make things work out a lot of people break up because they have a tight schedules and don't seem to have time to date but in your case i feel that hobbies aren't really as important than you plus you can do those hoobies together like play football together or learn those languages together so i feel like there must be an ulterior move behind this rushed break up. If it was really about him being overwhelmed you must have felt that something is wrong with him days before but just breaking up with you out of nowhere this looks suspicious ngl.

Anyway girl i believe that you deserve someone better, someone who would make time and sacrifices to spend time with no matter how busy he is. You're still young you're going to find someone better and don't be sad for a long time boyfriends come and go but you're only young once

[tylrswftversion]

i saw your update and i think you shouldn't block him but also don't text him first if he contacted you first and wanted to be stay friends stay friends but put some boundaries

[tylrswftversion]

thanks for the MHO

[Paris13]

I Believe He may Want His cake and Take IT TWO. Have His Hobbies and Freedom while Still Keep you on The String. A Loose One, hun. YOU NOW Go and have Fun, hun. I See Right Through Him. xxoo

[Paris13]

Tanks, Gag. xxoo

[ImHere22]

Don't be his friend- that's just opening yourself up for a long, confusing time. Cut him out of your life and don't look back.

The dude sounds 100% like he's cheating on you and his other girl decided to kick their relationship up a notch. He's 'overwhelmed' with trying to maintain two girlfriends and decided you didn't make the cut. He's giving a lame ass excuse of "it's not you, it's me" and making you feel like you did something wrong.

He's not a nice person- a nice guy would break it off without making you feel like you were blindsided. He's an ass and he can go off and play whatever games with someone else. You're better than him.

[veganrogue]

The whole hobby thing is kind of a red flag. I'm stretched to my limit hobby wise. I am a guitarist & drummer, both which I practice daily. I have a full time career and a side hustle which takes approximately 60 hours a week, I'm learning to digitally sculpt for a project that I'm working on and I cook daily. But I still have time for relationships because I make it my priority. When all said and done, we prioritize what is most important to us, and in this case, I'm sorry to say it's not you. I'd block him and move on. Life's too short to open your heart to someone that isn't willing to make an effort. Good luck.

[hahahmm]

You weren't married. A lot of people try to look down on marriage these days but the reality is that until a guy gives you a ring don't expect any relationship to last forever. And obviously even a lot of marriages fail but it's still more secure than unmarried. Only half of husbands cheat compared to boyfriends.

Why did you get so deeply attached in a few months? Usually -- in my life -- it was the reverse. The woman is taking her sweet time deciding but not bothering to tell the guy that and just letting the guy think she's just as serious as he is.

[Gent207-2]

Wow what an asshole

If he's incapable of multitasking and time management then he's not thr one for you.

Alternatively this could be well scripted cover story to date someone else. Which makes him an even bigger asshole.

I hope you find what you are looking for and if you want to talk feel free to dm me

[DarkWinterNights]

How old is he? Sometimes (younger) guys self sabotage if they aren’t ready for a relationship to progress to the next level. Sounds like his hobbies are being used as an excuse but it’s hard to say. If he wants to stay friends and maybe see what happens don’t bother. Regardless if he’s stringing you along or indecisive, you waiting around is only hurting you.

[musclesimp]

It's a paradox of relationships. He knows as well as I do, he needs to work on himself. Look at my muscular body, that comes from what? I'm fit thanks to not having to waste time on a girl so I get the freedom to play video games and light paper weights. In order to attract a girl you have to first repulse her.

[loveslongnails]

It's not unusual for immature boys of that age to suddenly decide they want out of a relationship, usually because they're afraid that it's going so well. They look around and think "shit, I'm only (whatever age) and it's feeling like a commitment and blah, blah, blah, I want to do other things, etc.," I'd say the odds are about 50 to 1 that it has anything really to do with hobbies and time, and everything to do with fear, and the sudden realization of "lost youth".

[Bobbysworld]

If a man wants to be with his woman heaven and he'll won't be able to stop him. If he has "hobbies" I'm sure he can do them and let you know he won't be available on this date... unless he did that because his "hobbies" are other women and he doesn't want to cheat on you.

Sure be friends but don't dwell

[pascal_climbs]

It is clear that you were also a hobby for him, which he did not want to continue. So do not waste any more time on him. He is not worth it, since he saw you as an object, not a being.

[slatyb]

He wasn't that into you. Be glad it was a few months and not a few years.

[BourbonAndBacon]

He broke up the day after Christmas? Did he get you anything?

[msc545]

I trhin khe found somebody else and didn't want to hurt you by telling. you.

[Anonymous]

This is the classic "Its not you its me" Trope, In reality he is just not that into you, and was trying to let you down easy.

[exitseven]

What is this "hobby"'s name?

[Unit1]

What a terrible joke of an ex boyfriend.

[In_Trance]

Move on