Our relationship started if kind of rocky.
He was in a bad financial state and I was in a bad mental state….. It was a little bit of both for the two of us.
I was going to college, hiding in my door room trying to get balanced on my new medications. Dating life was poor to non existent, so I looked to the internet for new friends and maybe some causal sex.
He just so happened to be one of the few men that didn’t immediately ask me about my body. He was kind and smart but oh so very blunt. But it was refreshing.
6 years past, we have gotten through Covid, working through trauma and plenty of hardships along the way.
We dealt with fertility issues and learning to balance work/chore life. Teaching each other different things. Me softening his edges and him giving me a backbone. I love this man. He is kind when it matters, smart and confident. But sometimes those things just don’t balance out.
I don’t know if it’s the fertility issues or working with each-other 24 hours a day, but I’m starting to despise the man.
He can be hurtfully blunt and lacks a drive for the future. He criticizes me at work in front of our co workers. He chooses to play video games and isolate himself from others. Gets upset if I make plans to hang out with people.
The largest thing is ANY TIME I bring up the fact of what he said or did hurt me, he gets all soft and says he loves me. He didn’t mean to, he was just teasing. But getting an apology is like pulling teeth.
I am beyond perfect…. I know that I am not easy to be with either. But I don’t know how much longer I can do this. I don’t even want to have sex half the time anymore.
What’s wrong with me? And am I horrible for wanting to leave?