Am I wrong for not giving my wife another chance after she asked for open relationship?

[Anonymous]

My wife came to me with the idea of open marriage. I seriously thought she was joking. So I was humouring her but I soon the realization hit me that she was serious. I asked her whether she is seriously asking me if I will be okay with her fucking other men. She started talking about BS she read on blogs and books she has ordered blah blah blah, I barely registered any of it. I sat their in silence watching her talk in excitement about it like she has discovered gravity or something.
Then I lost my patience, I told her to shut up and listen to me carefully. I said the moment she is fucked by another man, she will become too disgusting to be allowed in even same room as me. Last thing I registered was her pale look. I went to the bedroom and locked her out. I took some xanax to calm me down and drifted off to sleep. I dont remember anything else from that night.
Next day I woke up and for a moment I thought everything was okay then it came back in full force. I crawled out of my bed and tried to muster up some calm. She was in the living room with swollen eyes and tried to backtrack on it, said she was sorry and she wasn't thinking straight, blah blah. I just told her that I am leaving her and I am not gonna change my mind so do not waste your breath.
She made the excuse that it was open discussion and if I had refused that would have been the end of it. I told her that I dont really fucking care, she is not someone I want to call my wife. If she wants to fuck other men I am setting her free to live her life as she please.
She wants another chance, she wants to go to therapy, I dont really care for it. She tried to tell me to give her another chance for the kids and I was like dont... go there.

Am I wrong?

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t say you’re wrong. I mean to mean that would tell me a lot of things as far as what I thought. It would make me think other things as well as to what it makes her think about me. Most men aren’t ok w that. She’s tainted. Yes double standards but a lot of men think that way. That’s why men don’t usually wife up prostitutes or porn stars or things like that. This is a tough situation because you mentioned she already had someone picked out at worked she wanted to have sex w. Now how can you as the man be ok w her going back to this job knowing that the dude who she wants to fuck her works there? You can’t. It’ll always be on your mind. So if you were to stay w her, would that mean she quits her job there? For most women they need to have an emotional attachment to a dude to want to sleep w a man. There are some exceptions. So w that said it makes me think does she have emotional feelings for this dude? I’d be torn myself. But I could never look at her the same. To me it’s saying you don’t satisfy her. She’s bored w you. A lot of women in today’s society are about their happiness. She chose herself over you, over her family. There’s an urge there in her, even if you said o I don’t want an open relationship but I’ll stay w you, what’s not to say she will cheat on you? You don’t know that. I think I’d start filing for divorce.

[dudeinohio]

You are not wrong.

She has someone to cheat with lined up.

I'd get the divorce paperwork rolling. Get a lawyer of course.

Good luck and get her out of the house as soon as possible.

It's appalling you had so many people against you on this. The amount of people supporting cheating is out of hand!

[Asker]

Agreed.. Thanks sir

[Anonymous]

Not necessarily wrong but from a point of view, Quick to leave? Yes. I would have tried to find out where the idea came from and I would established boundaries I am not gonna cross ever. Sometimes people might try to open a marriage if their not satisfied with something in this case it might be sex and there could be boredom which happens in relationships. Though your decision to leave without talking about it hints at you may have wanted to leave this marriage and this gave the perfect excuse for it.

[Asker]

She already had a man lined up that she wanted to have sex with.. A coworker, it was just an excuse for her to cheat...

[Opinion Owner]

Did she planned to meet up with the guy before asking this line of questioning? If so then yes she is very much in the wrong. Though the question comes down to Are you willing to try and work things out? While it is easy to say Just leave and call her all kinds of names. It can take a lot of work to rebuild trust when it is broken. If you believe the relationship is salvageable then I would say consider things if not then you both need to talk about the best approach for split custody and whats best for the kids, long term.

[Asker]

Why would I work things out with someone who places no value on loyalty or marriage.. Nah I'm done, she disgusts me now..

[Asker]

I've been working from home since they were born, she works outside the home, she's unlikely to get more than 50/50 custody.. As to our home, it was mine before we met, so she will not be getting it.. And my state takes a dim view of cheaters..

[Opinion Owner]

Why? You have kids together and their well being comes first but since you have made up your mind then you both will need to be mature about splitting up and planning whats best for the kids.

[Asker]

Why to which part? 50/50 custody is best for the kids, what is not best for the kids is forcing us to stay together when it's never going to work.. There is no justification for cheating period.

[Opinion Owner]

Well then keep it at 50/50 and you both need to be responsible for the kids. Your disgust for her shouldn't cloud any judgement and fuel some kind of vengeance.

[Asker]

No vengeance, I just want her out.

[Opinion Owner]

Well you have it in your mind its never going to work because making it work requires marriage counseling and therapy.

[Opinion Owner]

Well then you will need to give her ample time to move out even if it means she has to sleep on the couch, Rent nowadays are expensive.

[Asker]

I can't believe you'd want me to forgive a cheater.. If the roles were reversed I guarantee your attitude would be different..

[Opinion Owner]

I am speaking from experience as someone who was cheated on but I forgave them and we worked it out. They physically didn't go out to cheat but the nudes and the questioning that wasn't far off of the open relationship stuff did hurt me. Though I stuck through it and worked it out. Our relationship is stronger than ever though and our communication issues improved. So don't assume if it was the other way around I'd be like hey? Did your husband ask to open the relationship? Well its totally time to leave instead of trying to work on your problems.

[Miristheiss]

No, a wife tells her man I WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE... and anyone who is not naive KNOWS she is already talking to some guy and has someone lined up and ready to go. She is NOT coming at this cold and blind. She has been talking to some guy. Maybe she is already doing him.
Regardless, she is telling her husband that all you have to do is say "YES" and I'll be out sucking some other man and letting him be inside me, exactly where you are when intimate.

There is no coming back from that. You tell a man you want to F another guy then you are not long term material. You are for the streets.

It is over. There is no coming back from that.

[Asker]

My thoughts exactly

[Miristheiss]

Boy we can tell you are pro open marriage and disloyalty. So eager to push for some guy to be a cuck and stay with a cheater.
We know all women who bring this up ALREADY have a guy picked out who she has been talking to.

[Akam93]

No your not wrong. A woman is who is like that is just disgusting. I wouldn't want my husband sleeping around with sluts.

[Little_Bumblebee]

If I was married or in a relationship with someone who seriously wanted to open up the relationship, I would start to leave said relationship.

Now you have kids, so it makes things more complicated. And that part is not really something I would know too much about.

Overall I wouldn't say you would be wrong.

But considering you're married and have kids, then maybe try to sit down and talk about why she has this need to open the relationship up. Maybe consider counseling?
Otherwise, I would understand why you want to leave.

[aceleon]

you are the man.

don't let anyone even your own doubts say otherwise to you, if a woman asks this it is betrayel consent my ass, what can she do worse than sleeping with other guys to you? stab you while you are asleep? and you say you have childrens? does she have no shame as a mother to ask for fucking other guys? i wouldn't be suprised if she has some kind of mental disorder or personality disorder.

do whatever you can to take kids with you, they deserve better than a whore like this as a mother.

[Miristheiss]

Yes.

She told you to your face she is a cheater, she just wants your permission.

She's told you she wants to screw another man. If she brought it up that means 100% she already has a guy picked out and lined up, she may have even screwed him already.

Are you standards really that low?

I promise you she has some guy lined up. You might push to find out who she has in mind. All the flirting and talking she has already been doing with this guy.

IT IS OVER.

[Miristheiss]

Ooops. I read it wrong. I read it as you asking" Am I wrong for GIVING my wife another chance". That is why I said YES.

You are RIGHT for not giving the cheater another chance. She is a cheater who just wants permission to get away with it guilt free. She already has the guy. The only question is if she has already fuc*** him or just has been talking to him and has him lined up to F the second you say yes.

How did she not already know your strong stance on this? She honesty doesn't your know values and thought you'd share her and let another man touch her from head to toe, suck another man off, let another man in her and be ok with it?
How has she known you all of this time thinking you were a cuck?

[Anonymous]

You are not wrong. Never listen to this society that tries to encourage men to be simps and cuckolds.

[Asker]

Did you see some of the other replies suggesting I should work it out.. Or that I'm somehow an asshole?

[Opinion Owner]

Yes and it is very unlikely they would be saying the same if the man was the one planning on doing the cheating under the guise of an open relationship.

[Asker]

Exactly. Hypocrites the lot of them.

[Unit1]

https://www.youtube.com/embed/7lsdJDiJ0QE

Very good on you mate! I would have done the same as you did.

[Anonymous]

You're not wrong. For me that would be the end because she is essentially saying I am not enough.

[IslaTheWitch]

I just wonder... what do you lack out of communication skills that she had to show it to you this way?

Did you even asked her what is not working? Or are you full of yourself and sure you are securing all her needs?

[Asker]

Yet another woman justifying cheating

[IslaTheWitch]

Cheating would be if she just found a man satisfying her, without asking you for your consent

[Miristheiss]

LOL. She tells you she wants to FUCK another man.
Woman reply:
What did YOU do to cause this. Women are blameless. It must be YOUR fault she wants to fuck others.

[Asker]

Typical.. If you want to create a woman.. Take a man, remove reason and accountability, and you get a woman.

Sorry but @islathewitch you're wrong here.

[Miristheiss]

"As Good As It Gets"
I remember that scene with Jack Nicholson.

[Asker]

Me too, and it's absolutely true.

[Anonymous]

Cut her lose... she already fucked other guys...

[Bella2423]

Fuck!!