It’s probably how he copes with things he can’t handle and cigarettes are disgusting and doesn’t do anything for him, I thought he was smoking weed. I’m surprised I didn’t take up drinking when I got divorced, luckily I didn’t take on any bad habits, some people just can’t handle things like that
Because men don't have other outlets for their feelings. Women are constantly expressing their feelings and emotions but men hold them inside. It's a biological difference in their brains. Probably has to do with their different natural roles... men are providers and protectors. Showing emotions isn't helpful in either one of those roles so men are designed to suppress them. That doesn't mean they don't have them, it just means they are held inside. So when a breakup happens they have to deal with it internally... that's like having a pressure cooker inside. So they self medicate.
chinese culture lacks empathy and support. where else does he go for support. men in general... lack emotional support and outlets. so unless he had some good outlets to offset the stress, he took up some bad habits.
im just joking around... Sichuan people make noodles like "dan dan noodles". It's a style of chinese cooking I like. by "really rung his noodles"... I mean "shook him up emotionally". I'm not referring to body parts.
I developed my addictions to cope with dark thoughts and loneliness. Not due to a breakup but due to cchildhood trauma's and unaliving of my sister. I did shit like excessive drinking, smoking and porn. Not proud of it but I managed to get clean again some year later. Stuff like that happens also a lot after a breakup because than the guys world gets ripped apart and he is lonely in a snap.
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Opinion Owner
2 mo
Unfortunately my addictions where the reason why my girlfriend broke up with me some months later after my sister died.
Some do because it hurts and u get so attached u get lost in life like if u put ur whole life in something like a religion or political and u leave it behind u might get lost now this is a person a human being losing them can have a same effect u know so drugs or addict might be a way to fill that void
Not all guys too, but usually it's a way to cope at least that's how I see it. I've experienced some breakups where I was addicted to something afterwards, but after my most recent breakup I actually broke an addiction of mine because my mindset to be better than I used to be. I would say it's a mix of coping and not necessarily having the right mindset when leaving the relationship. This isn't 100% true for all guys though
It Numbs the pain and the shame and embarrassment and the negative self talk saying "I'm broken" just for a little while. I dont give a shit. And I love it. And then It quickly gets ruined by days of hangover.
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Anonymous
(18-24)
1 mo
I don't think it's a good generalisation to make for most men. It happened to you with your ex, but not every thing that will happen with your ex is a "men" thing.
Personally I don't have this issue, and only know one man who does. But that man in general is already addicted, and also is a Highly Sensitive Person (hsp). He generally just gets into drugs and alcohol when he feels down, which is a majority of the time.
A new addiction to replace the old one. It's difficult to be completely disciplined, any person needs some form of distraction from life and if it's not love it will be something else that takes the edge off.
Free time leads to bad decisions (like joining G@G), after breakups men have a lot of free time. As to why he chose cigarettes, perhaps he has a friend that got him introduced and the nicotine caused the addiction. Or depending on how long you were together, maybe he was trying to find the side of himself that got repressed from being with you
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Anonymous
(18-24)
2 mo
cuz they have poor impulse control.
but seriously, it’s all about personality. he just happened to be the type to start smoking, and i can relate.
Not sure they do. I have had several big breakups. At least one of them crushed me… I turned to my friends, a reasonable amount of tv and cheese doodles…. But that’s it. Some people have addictive personalities. But not everyone.
Only happens as a representation of how the relationship was for them. Seems that for him the relationship was quite stressful and he wasn't happy with it. Cigarettes for stress/alcohol for sorrow.
I think when you guys had break up after that he was trying to move on and in the way he got new addictions which may be helped him for short term but are not good for his health in return
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It’s probably how he copes with things he can’t handle and cigarettes are disgusting and doesn’t do anything for him, I thought he was smoking weed. I’m surprised I didn’t take up drinking when I got divorced, luckily I didn’t take on any bad habits, some people just can’t handle things like that
Addiction is ultimately just escapism. And what pretty much 99% of people want to escape from is the knowledge that life is harder than they thought.
Because men don't have other outlets for their feelings. Women are constantly expressing their feelings and emotions but men hold them inside. It's a biological difference in their brains. Probably has to do with their different natural roles... men are providers and protectors. Showing emotions isn't helpful in either one of those roles so men are designed to suppress them. That doesn't mean they don't have them, it just means they are held inside. So when a breakup happens they have to deal with it internally... that's like having a pressure cooker inside. So they self medicate.
chinese culture lacks empathy and support. where else does he go for support. men in general... lack emotional support and outlets. so unless he had some good outlets to offset the stress, he took up some bad habits.
good grief, you really wrung his noodles.
I’d not call it noodles… ;) Neither should you. :)
Sichuan noodles?
I don’t get what you are referring. With all due respect, you would probably look like a noodle next to him…
im just joking around... Sichuan people make noodles like "dan dan noodles". It's a style of chinese cooking I like.
by "really rung his noodles"... I mean "shook him up emotionally". I'm not referring to body parts.
Oh okay. Lots of racists out there, wanted to make sure you are not one.
Yes, I think I shook him up emotionally.
Gotcha. I married Chinese woman and most my extended family chinese now.
I developed my addictions to cope with dark thoughts and loneliness. Not due to a breakup but due to cchildhood trauma's and unaliving of my sister. I did shit like excessive drinking, smoking and porn. Not proud of it but I managed to get clean again some year later. Stuff like that happens also a lot after a breakup because than the guys world gets ripped apart and he is lonely in a snap.
Unfortunately my addictions where the reason why my girlfriend broke up with me some months later after my sister died.
the agony a person experiences during a breakup triggers the same exact part of the brain stimulated during an addiction withdrawal
same goes for women
Can I teach you Turkish? Can we talk together?
@yusufonay need something?
Some do because it hurts and u get so attached u get lost in life like if u put ur whole life in something like a religion or political and u leave it behind u might get lost now this is a person a human being losing them can have a same effect u know so drugs or addict might be a way to fill that void
Not all guys too, but usually it's a way to cope at least that's how I see it. I've experienced some breakups where I was addicted to something afterwards, but after my most recent breakup I actually broke an addiction of mine because my mindset to be better than I used to be. I would say it's a mix of coping and not necessarily having the right mindset when leaving the relationship. This isn't 100% true for all guys though
They do this to deal with the emotional pain. They typically cannot get much support from friends.
Even if the man is the one who initiated the break up?
Even so.
That’s very dangerous to bottle up the pain. Why don’t men talk to their friends about those things?
Men don't like to talk about feelings.
People can turn to addictions; it's not only men's thing.
It's one of the strategies for coping with difficult emotions.
It Numbs the pain and the shame and embarrassment and the negative self talk saying "I'm broken" just for a little while. I dont give a shit. And I love it. And then It quickly gets ruined by days of hangover.
I don't think it's a good generalisation to make for most men. It happened to you with your ex, but not every thing that will happen with your ex is a "men" thing.
Personally I don't have this issue, and only know one man who does. But that man in general is already addicted, and also is a Highly Sensitive Person (hsp). He generally just gets into drugs and alcohol when he feels down, which is a majority of the time.
No not fully
If it had a place in their past I would lean towards yes... but it's mostly a supplement.
The companionship of woman merely replaced by an other feelgood substance to hold us over...
Long term withdrawal from a good woman does not do us or society any good
A new addiction to replace the old one. It's difficult to be completely disciplined, any person needs some form of distraction from life and if it's not love it will be something else that takes the edge off.
Free time leads to bad decisions (like joining G@G), after breakups men have a lot of free time. As to why he chose cigarettes, perhaps he has a friend that got him introduced and the nicotine caused the addiction. Or depending on how long you were together, maybe he was trying to find the side of himself that got repressed from being with you
cuz they have poor impulse control.
but seriously, it’s all about personality. he just happened to be the type to start smoking, and i can relate.
Not sure they do. I have had several big breakups. At least one of them crushed me… I turned to my friends, a reasonable amount of tv and cheese doodles…. But that’s it. Some people have addictive personalities. But not everyone.
No cos I know men who used the pain as fuel for success, it's one's personal choice I must say, it's best one turns the pain to success
Only happens as a representation of how the relationship was for them. Seems that for him the relationship was quite stressful and he wasn't happy with it. Cigarettes for stress/alcohol for sorrow.
I think when you guys had break up after that he was trying to move on and in the way he got new addictions which may be helped him for short term but are not good for his health in return