How do I with pancreatic cancer and my husband's weaponized incompetence? I can't turn my type a personality off?

[Anonymous]

I can't do anything because I am really sick. He has to drive and do everything. I tore him a new one when I got home from the hospital. the house was a mess.

I hate the way he drives and parks. The avocados he bought were too soft. I didn't tell him what I wanted for dinner because we have been married forever and he should just know. I didn't like anything he picked out. He said I need to pick it out on Uber eats. Because he is not a mind-reader.

I feel like he does this shit on purpose. Weaponized incompetence. I had him switch seats and took off in the car leaving him stranded. To get him back for the weaponized incompetence. I turned my phone off for a half hour. He was pretty upset.

Then he filled up the dryer too full of clothes. he used tide instead of gain. He took too long to do them. He didn't fold them right. He told me he is not a slave and it was nice having break from being yelled at while i was in the hospital. I cried and was so insulted he said that. He sat in the car until I went to bed.

[MrOracle]

I'm sorry about your cancer, but that aside, you are being ridiculous and have unrealistic standards. And because of that, you clearly give him NO incentive to improve, or even try, because you obviously show little appreciation of his efforts and are just a nag who is impossible to please. It's no wonder he would choose weaponized incompetence.

You clearly have never understood the concept that you draw more flies with honey than with vinegar - which means you get MUCH better results with POSITIVE feedback than with negative feedback - yet you spend every waking moment giving negative feedback, and then are surprised that nothing ever gets better. This is YOUR OWN sour attitude coming right back at you, and if YOU don't change, your results will never change.

I can't imagine how terrible you must feel dealing with cancer, and if I really believed that this attitude of yours was purely a result of that, I would have maybe worded things differently, but based on what you've written here, it seems like you have been on this path for a very long time, never getting what you want, and not being able to figure out why. Well, the answer will be staring right back at you in your bathroom mirror. This isn't your husband's problem, it's YOURS.

[XXTruthfulOgrexx]

personally, I'd have already divorced you based on this post.

He can't read your mind. Just because you've been in relationship has zero bearing on him knowing what you want to eat.

As for the laundry, I had that argument with someone 10 minutes before I got my key from her and freed up her romantic future. He likely did what he thought was best and instead of at least giving him credit for trying to shot him with hatred.

Sorry for your cancer diagnosis, but your behavior is unacceptable and I sincerely hope your husband walks away.

[EmmaMary]

Why the hell did this poor guy ever marry such an fucking unappreciative b****. smh

[EmmaMary]

Thank you for the MHO.

[Angelo75]

Interesting.

So you're totally pissed off on him because he's JUST AS IMPERFECT AS YOU!!!

The only difference is, you're blind to your own imperfections.

Start by being glad that yo have a guy that didn't bail out on you when he found out you're sick. Nowadays it's a pretty rare thing.

Second, I'm probably sure that you're BOTH pretty stressed out and tired of having to deal with this cancer that you're going through. However you should focus your anger on the cancer instead of pointing it at him.

Get marriage counseling or so. Asking GaG users will not help for a stable marriage, since they're only hearing your side of the story.

[Staximus]

Having pancreatic cancer doesn't give you the right to be an asshole and a house nazi and demand he do everything your way. You're lashing out at him because you're mad you have cancer, but it's not his fault.

[patrick994]

i am so sorry for you, don't care about your husband, focus only your health, i hope you recover.

[strateguy632]

weaponized? just stop assuming he does it intentionally.

[Iron_Man]

This is trivial you should focus all on your cancer I really hope that you recover ✝️

[Anonymous]

So sorry to hear this. You need some real help.

[Anonymous]

"I can't do anything because I am really sick. He has to drive and do everything"

Biting the hand that feeds you isn't wise.

[Anonymous]

I'm surprised he hasn't thrown you out a window yet. Good luck!

[LazerBean]

Yikes, sounds like he did a bad job picking a wife

[Flower7]

This relationship sounds very toxic.

[Asker]

Yeah. I know. It's simple. He needs to do everything exactly 💯 the right way and I won't have to stand there yelling your doing it wrong. He is 200 percent the problem. No one else will help me.

[jahaims]

You are just being a cunt tbh