How long does it take to mend a broken heart? when it’s been too long when does it start to become unhealthy?

[Honey3157]

I had a guy break my heart in 2021. The minute I saw him, something took over my body and soul. We worked together for a year then didn’t speak for two, played social media games to get each others attention, started dating, dated for five years then he broke it off with me. I grieved deeply for two years and now am better. I started running into him again because he has to come into my building at work. He also started posting things to get my attention. My head is spinning. I don’t think I ever got over him. Why did he come back around? How long is too long to have a broken heart? I want to seek help but therapist in the past just listen and I get no where. Help

[Oliverlogan263]

Girl, I can't imagine how difficult this has been for you. Breakups are hard enough, but after such a long history it's no wonder your heart has taken years to start healing.

In terms of how long is too long to have a broken heart - I'd say by now (2 years post-breakup) you should be feeling more whole, focused on your own growth, and not totally derailed by running into him again. The fact that seeing him spins your head so badly suggests the emotional wounds never fully closed.

A few thoughts - finding the right therapist can take time, but don't give up. Consider being very direct in saying you need hands-on coping strategies, not just empathy. A women's support group could also help process your feelings communally.

Second chance at love rarely works. His breadcrumbing now seems manipulative and disrespectful of your healing. You deserve way more than leftover scraps of his attention.

It's time to close this chapter, once and for all. Block/no contact is really the only way to stop reopening old hurts. Lean on your friends and work on projects that fulfill you alone. With time and effort, your heart will finish mending. You've got this!

[Fanfare690]

Find someone else