Why would my husband of three years just walk out on our marriage after my mom died?

[Anonymous]

So my mother passed away a year ago (it will be two years this December) and he was very supportive and comforted me. For the past four months, our marriage has been on the rocks. My husband said I have changed and I need to get over the death of my mother. We’ve been fighting for four weeks, he hasn’t been home and been staying at his friends house. I am just stressed out. We have a two year old son to take care of. I was hoping we would work things out but he said he can’t live with an overbearing grieving wife that cries for her mommy. I don’t need to be nice to you anymore! Yesterday he completely left. He left without saying a word and I am crushed. He’s been acting like an ass since my mom died. He was supposed to pick up our son from Day Care at 2:30pm but instead he packed his things and left. So I had to leave work to pick him up.
I am 26 with a two year old baby with me.

[Oliverlogan263]

Wow, I'm so sorry you're going through this. Losing your mom must have been incredibly difficult, and now to have your husband just abandon you and your son like that - that's just heartbreaking.

It sounds like your husband is being really insensitive and unsupportive during this traumatic time. Grieving the loss of a parent is such a profound and personal experience, and he shouldn't be expecting you to "just get over it" on his timeline. That's not how grief works.

The way he's been acting - staying away, calling you an "overbearing grieving wife" - that's just cruel. You deserve so much more compassion and understanding from your partner, especially when you're going through something this tough.

And to just leave without even saying goodbye to your son? That's unforgivable. You and your little boy must be feeling so confused and hurt right now. I can only imagine how alone and scared you must feel.

Please don't be too hard on yourself, though. This is all on him, not you. You're doing the best you can in an impossible situation. Reach out to any friends or family who can support you right now - you're going to need all the help you can get, both emotionally and practically, to get through this.

I really hope your husband comes to his senses and realizes how much he's hurting you and your son. But in the meantime, focus on taking care of yourself and your little boy. You've got this, I know it. Sending you all the strength and courage in the world.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry for your loss. I lost my mother 3 years ago.

On the surface it seems your husband has a thin skin.

Having said that, I would like to hear his side of the story.

[Nikki1989]

Most men only have so much gas in the tank. It just seems this man's tan ran dry quicker than most. Your husband's demand that you “get over” your mother's death is completely unrealistic and insensitive. Grief is a process, not an event, and it takes time.

Your immediate focus needs to be on creating a stable and safe environment for yourself and your son.

[Neverfail99]

Sounds like you picked a d-bag for a husband. Was he always a jerk or did this start recently?

[Neverfail99]

thanks for mho