My boyfriend wants out of our open relationship and I feel betrayed?

[Anonymous]

So, my boyfriend and I have been together for six years—five of those in an open relationship. He was the one who first suggested we open things up. At first, I wasn’t comfortable with the idea, but eventually, I became more open to it. We had a “no tell” rule—meaning if either of us hooked up with someone, whether once or multiple times, we wouldn’t share the details.

Lately, I’ve noticed he’s been acting different—distant, not as attentive. So I decided to sit down and talk with him. After some hesitation, he opened up and told me he’s no longer in love with me. He said he’s in love with another woman he’s been seeing, and he wants to settle down and start a family with her. Hearing that shattered me. I’ve always wanted to start a family of my own—and I always pictured that being with him.

I told him how hurt I was, that I truly wanted to be with him forever and build a life together. But he just looked at me and said I wasn’t “the one,” and that she is—she’s the person he’s been searching for all along.

I feel so stupid and heartbroken for letting this man string me along for so long. I don’t understand—why would he do that?

[Summeroflove]

You have every right to feel that way but at least you’re being honest. If this violates your values don’t loose your dignity. You may not be compatible with one another and just break things off on good terms.

These relationships just eventually deteriorate and degenerate. People get into these and it causes a lot of problems later down the road for both people. This is what ends up happening. Is that people get too attached to someone else they start seeing and even begin resenting their partner.

I think you knew it was wrong but went with it anyways until you just became numb to it. I don’t know his heart if he’s a dark personality or not. Maybe he’s a narcissist but maybe he did love you but has just fallen out of love and was too cowardly to tell you. Maybe you were just a hold over until he could find better but wanted to sleep around.

These type of relationships just rarely ever end happily. Even for the ones who claim to be happy end up divorced and engaging in self destructive behaviors.

[OneViewpoint]

Seriously? He strung you along? You didn't foresee this possibility in an open relationship? Or you only saw the story ending with you living happily ever after? Those were your "pairing up" years. You sold them cheaply.

He wanted to have his cake and eat it too. You served up the cake on a silver platter. So did lot's of other girls. He ate all the cake. And someone else swooped in for the win.

Here's how you have an open relationship in your 20's if you want to end up with someone for life. You wanna see other people? Go ahead. I'll do the same. We don't have any relationship. We met. We fucked. We want different things. I'm gonna go look for an adult who can commit to me. You keep getting laid. I wish you the best of luck. Bye!

Own your choices. Make better choices going forward.

[SueShe]

What did you really expect?

A relationship where fornication is what dominates and rules that relationship is doomed to fail. You lost your boyfriend the second he suggested this copulating type of relationship and the second you agreed with it. You should have been wiser and separated from him at that time. You are just as much to blame as he is for suggesting something as disgusting as that and where you know that you are nothing more than an object and where you lose your dignity and self-esteem.

What did you expect? That everything would be fine for the rest of your life? That copulating was the only common ground for you to keep a very superficial relationship?

You betrayed your own self for listening to him and now you pay the price because you are being discarded just like a used tissue.

[Nikki1989]

Many men are flaky like that. They don't know what they want.

[Iron_Man]

I’m really surprised you lasted that long in such a deceitful relationship

[jahaims]

An unhealthy relationship didn't work out. What a surprise.

[MasterKS]

The guy is so stupid, you should be happy that he going away, changing mind with time is such a shit. enjoy what you doing.

[Anonymous]

Guess you FA&FO

[Asker]

What does that mean

[Opinion Owner]

F**k around and find out

[In_Trance]

dump him