Never planning to be in any romantic relationship ever again after first breakup?

[Anonymous]

I do not know if I can receive any help here but I think I'm in a tricky situation. I'm 23 now and I have had one relationship so far. We met each other on a social media platform, met thrice real life and spent few hours together every time we met. He was my first kiss (we didn't go beyond that). I was very very much invested in the relationship. We broke up in February as we faced difficulties in seeing a future together due to career differences. He's dating around as much as I know.

Now for context, I'm from a conservative Asian society. I went to women-only institutions till when I was 15. Later at co-ed school and college I DISLIKED men showing interest in me. I mean I did everything in my power to never again meet someone who I'd understand was interested in me. Male attention (staring etc) made me uncomfortable. I'm heterosexual though. I never even felt comfortable shaking hands with the opposite sex. However I did have romantic fantasies surrounding a fictional man I had created in my mind.

After breakup I feel like I never want to date someone else. It's like I feel relieved and more attuned to my energy if there's no plan of ever having a romantic relationship. I can't imagine myself ever sharing a life with a man. I'm not aromantic, I really loved my ex.

I'm not agnostic if not an atheist. I don't understand if I'd regret this decision later life. Any idea on how I could test myself and know that this is the life I want? Thanks.

Updates

1 y

*I'm agnostic if not an atheist.

[Shiprex]

This is rather sad to read that a modern woman has such a fearful anxiety toward relationships and is evidently still interested but has taken the end of a relationship so seriously.

Heartbreak is part of life and that is part of what being alive is about. The UPS are wonderful unless you can relate it to the DOWNS.

I am sure (and hope) you have just reached a low point in existence and with time you will rise out of this and become more confident and assured like a blooming flower to have the power in your own self to meet and entertain a person you like and make a go at discovery together as the start of a relationship

[serious]

Well, if you want to be single for life then it is entirely your choice, irrespective to what happened in your last relationship. You know better so you know why you have decided this way.

[BonzoInBitburg]

It's a good thing you don't want to date right now. Just take some time and get your life on the path you want and I'm sure someone will want to join you on your journey

[jahaims]

No question

[Asker]

I wasn't sure how to frame the question, I made it in the last line thus.