How am I supposted to get with a man, if he can just switch up after we’ve built our family and been together for years?

[Anonymous]

Seen it happen to so many couples lately…

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

My grand-father had the same job and the same wife for 50 years. When I look back, I don't think they were made for each other, at all. But it was probably not conceivable for any of them to split. Breaking up after building a family will sound bad for those who wanted the status quo, and it will sound good for those who needed it as they will feel relieved. Please don't underestimate relief lol, it does exist.

I know you're not supposed to step in a relationship thinking about how it will be such a relief when it ends. It's counter-intuitive.

So, back to grand-pa: His era is gone, there's hardly a wife for life and a job for life to expect, you've seen it around you. Is it bad? I don't think so, not by default, but it may sound really bad for you as long as you consider that life must provide certainties. Commitment, love, it is about faith, not certainties, it is about what you feel and think in a moment, with someone specific, this moment can last forever. Or not. Your own commitment is also uncertain, will it keep feeling good for you over time? Will you still love the guy over time? You can't be sure, no one can.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

No one can, but there is faith.

Some people give us faith, and it is very much enjoyable, precious, priceless.

[Asker]

ill just give up on love this is bs

[Anonymous]

Don’t make his life hell maybe.

Angelina is weird did we all forget how she even got famous? She was a big nobody and was kissing all over that old dude Billy bob thorton who was big at the time, and she so disrespectfully and ghetto slobbering all over him while he was being interviewed as he commented that they had just had sex in their car and she puts her mouth all over him and then laughs and says “sorry” as if she didn’t know he’s on camera when they’re interviewing him right on his face.

she just desperately wanted to be known even if she had done some movies and was attractive, let’s face it nobody really knew who she was only after she did that ghetto as slobbering and people started saying oh “Angelina” is all over Billy bob etc.. what a loser now she pretends to be all

high class. She’s a ghetto ass and sure she adopted many kids and aged those kids but that doesn’t take away from her begging ghetto af. And it’s so cringe watching her pretend like she’s some respectful lady

yuck

she likely was all over Brad too just to get him and then made his life a hell.

some men do leave women just cause they’re assholes and that would be just really bad luck. But most times it’s lack of communication, lack of intimacy from the woman and the man can’t communicate and ends up with someone like Jolie who did give him the sex and then turning his life into hell and then end up alone lol

Angelina is the woman who gave him sex when the real partner was likely less intimate … she’s not the good woman here. She got her karma.

be a good person and a good wife. If you still get a loser who leaves you then that’s just tough luck. 🍀

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

There are a painful amount of men who will date just so they don’t have to be alone. These are the men women talk about when we talk about how frequent and prevalent objectification still is. And the worst part is there are women who are so lonely that they will accept these men who provide less than the bare minimum and convince themselves it’s true love.
The best way to get around this as a woman? Have standards and keep them. Don’t switch it up for “love” and don’t settle.

[sawno]

This is why the marriage system needs to be fixed, the whole point of marrying originally was that it wouldn't be easy to just switch things up when things get hard. But with the no fault divorce and the guy is usually the one getting screwed part they aren't willing to do that and its not effectively fulfilling its purpose anymore. So advocating for reform where marriage is always in favor of the partner who didn't leave trough no fault would fix that and restore the security its supposed to bring.

Unfortunately thats not something you can change on your own, so your gonna have to deal with things as they are. And plenty of partners are actually loyal and want to stay, but at your age it will be very few. Things will get better when the guys mature more, but it also means you gotta pick the loyal dedicated type and not the guy who is merely after the benefits until the fun wears off.

[Asker]

That could backfire awfully yk, what if a husband is abusive to his wife and she tries to leave?

[sawno]

In what I am proposing then she leaves trough demonstrable fault on his part and she'd win in court. No changes there. Its when either one leaves for the sake of leaving or because they'd rather be with someone else that my change would apply. A guy should not be at risk when she leaves for someone else, but in the current system he is.

[Asker]

just sign a prenup?

[sawno]

Doesn't work, judges don't reliably honor it. But yes a prenup can help this somewhat.

[Asker]

yet y'all keep complaining

[Chazmatazz269]

Don’t. There’s no law requiring you to date, let alone marry. If all men are evil, just stay away. Matter of fact, you shot yourself in the foot by posting this nonsense anonymously. Wave that man-hating flag with pride and sensible men will avoid you like the plague. Problem solved.

[Asker]

never said all but ok. Ur a man who takes everything a little too personal

[Chazmatazz269]

You made an unqualified generalization about all men with this question and we all know it. Not explicitly using the word “all” doesn’t change that fact. The entire question is meaningless without the intonation that all men will cheat and/or dump you despite your ridiculous belief that you are perfect and therefore there’s no legitimate reason to dump you.
You, my ignorant friend, are the one who is overly sensitive. Grow up.

[Asker]

no, YOU did that.
dude wtf r u on ab? when did i say i was perfect? how am i ignorant? how am i overly sensitive when you’re the one preaching on my question ab how im generalising all men when i didn't. If you dont cheat, why are u so fucking offended?

[OlderAndWiser]

And many couples stay together. What is the difference between those who last and those who don't?

[AMS700CX4u2]

When ME becomes more important than We. Mine becomes more important than Ours.

[OlderAndWiser]

@AMS700CX4u2 Couples break up because they had unrealistic expectations and, as soon as there is a problem, they think it is a sign of a doomed relationship. Couples who stay together remain together to work on the problems together, recognizing that even when they have conflict, they are still members of the same team.

[Asker]

Whats ur point? Sorry i dont wanna be fully committed to a man knowing he could just leave at any second?

[OlderAndWiser]

You should never be fully committed to another person if you don't know them.

[AMS700CX4u2]

Nothing could have been stated more succinctly, Well done. Mine has lasted 54 years.

[Asker]

Im talking about when you’ve been with someone for years and they just cheat on you. this can't be this hard to comprehend.

[OlderAndWiser]

What is difficult to comprehend is that you are describing being with someone for years, building a family, etc., and then he cheats. You ask how you are supposed to "get with him." What you describe is that you are already with him, and you should be asking how you get away from such a guy. . . or how you avoid getting with that guy in the first place.

[OlderAndWiser]

If you are asking how you can enter a relationship knowing that is a possibility. . . part of being an adult is knowing that bad things can happen and learning all that you can to avoid those bad things. Someone may fool you sometimes, but most cheaters are going to do other things to let you know that you are not their highest priority. You spend time dating, getting to know someone, and you don't get engaged after dating for three months.

[Asker]

Obviously how to avoid getting with such a guy, if i wanted to leave id just leave.

[Asker]

And what if i dont see those signs? What if I've built up my whole life with him and trust him with my life just for him to be cheating on me? im not taking such a risk.

[OlderAndWiser]

Listen to this:
https://youtu.be/Szdziw4tI9o?si=vpAqLQDhYMW2sraq
It is the opening fanfare from Richard Strauss's "Also Spake Zarathustra." The music is inspired by Friedrich Nietzsche's book by the same name, published in the mid 1880's. The fanfare is inspired by the book's prologue, in which Zarathustra is introduced as a hermit who has lived ten years on a mountain with his two companions, an eagle and a serpent. One morning – inspired by the sun, which is happy only when it shines upon others – Zarathustra decides to return to the world and share his wisdom.

The music celebrates the awakening and realization that man cannot happily live in isolation.

Even though relationships can be fraught with disappointment and heartbreak, most of us accept the fact that the rewards of a good relationship outweigh the risks we must take to find that good relationship.

[Asker]

you know what im just gonna pass out on this one, there's not much i feel like im missing out on if i dont get into a relationship, its all just so complicated with no benefits

[OlderAndWiser]

That's your call, but sometimes people cop that attitude when they are afraid to try.

[Asker]

Yeah, as i replied to ur other picture, what if one poisons me, why would i try again?

[OlderAndWiser]

My other picture? That makes no sense.

What if someone drops a nuclear bomb on your bedroom tonight while you are sleeping?

[Asker]

I mean the one with the ”u can't know if u haven't tried all the truffles” or wtv it said.

If someone did that id be dead?

[OlderAndWiser]

You're just a troll!

[Asker]

dude how?

[Kingofkings1992]

@asker, you are a kid. You are not even old enough to be with a man. Just stfu, you sound stupid as hell and are just embarrassing yourself

[Asker]

But i will be one day

[Hagar88]

Im not sure what the question is

[Asker]

And im not sure what ur implying with those photos

[Sal_Monella]

Sweetie. 80% of divorce actions are filed by women, looking to loot a man's lifetime of achievement or destroy him through unsupported allegations. What you claim is far truer for women by a mile. It is why men are avoiding marriage and wearing body cams in elevators and private meetings. You brought this on yourselves.

[Asker]

Yeah because women take responsebility. Sign a prenup, easy as that.
well im not dating women so its not my problem.
Okay y'all say this but complain when women dont want to talk to you in bars as if men dont drug them on the daily there.

[blackeagle007]

Please check spelling

[Asker]

you’ll be fine.

[RavVid]

I have the same question. 8 years on, 80% of those happy brides will divorce their husband.

My answer, along with a lot of men, is pass on the deal and to never sign the gov't contract.

[Asker]

so just be in a relationship as boyfriend and girlfriend forever?

[RavVid]

That is the current deal except in countries, like my own, which has imposed a two year time limit.

Obviously a family is a long term investment but the necessary long term commitment has been eradicated from society. Sadly I think.

[Anonymous]

Well, let's see. The vast majority of men (75%) never cheat, and the vast majority of divorces (80%) are filed by women.

So what were you saying now?

[Asker]

Yeah? dont be a bad husband and that won't happen? and how am i supposted to know which men cheat? and by the way women file for divorces because they’ve had enough, while men just sweep their problems under the rug and gets a side chick.

[kelvin066]

She is feminist troll. Or a Jewish bot trying to cause divide and conquer like they always do.

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah? don't be a bad wife and he won't leave you.

See how dumb you sounded?

[Asker]

how am i troll?🤦‍♀️

[Asker]

Define good wife for me please.

[Opinion Owner]

I'll let you define good husband first, since you are the one who first blamed the bad behavior of women on the opposite sex.

[Asker]

Id define a good husband as a man who takes responsebility and doesn't cheat on his wife when he falls out of love instead of simply asking for a divorce.

[Opinion Owner]

As I said, 75% of men never cheat, and yet half of marriages end in divorce and women initiate the vast majority of them. It's also a fact that the #1 reason for divorce is lack of commitment, NOT infidelity.

A good wife is one who takes responsibility and doesn't divorce her husband when her sense of commitment disappears.

[Asker]

So she’s supposted to stay even if she doesn't love him? u do know thats just gonna hurt both of them?

[Opinion Owner]

Lack of commitment is not the same as not loving someone. Being committed means taking wedding vows seriously and not just walking away from a marriage once the honeymoon phase is over.

The fact is, most women today do not take their wedding vows seriously, which is why the divorce rate is so high, and why women file almost all divorces. It is women who have destroyed the institution of marriage and made it what it is today. If you want to talk about taking responsibility, why are you not directing it at those responsible for the core issue today... women?

[Asker]

and your source is? ah yes women are the source of all societies problems😐.

[Opinion Owner]

The percentage of married men who never cheat is actually 74%, not 75% as I said earlier. My bad.



There was a more recent study done that showed 80% of divorces are filed by women. I have it bookmarked somewhere but haven't found it yet. I will post it when I track it down. In the meantime, here's an older one that shows women file 69%, but the percentage has gone up since then.

www.asanet.org/.../

No, women are not responsible for all problems in western society, but they certainly are responsible for a LOT more than our gynocentric society holds them accountable for. That is changing slowly as we move away from the stranglehold progressivism and feminism have had on modern media and discourse, but there is still a long way to go get away from the ubiquitous "men are responsible for all society's problems" mindset that progressivism and feminism have created.

[Asker]

Yeah sure. All im saying is how can we know that our husband won't cheat on us in 20 years. THATS MY POINT!! why is this so hard to understand?

I mean men as a whole kinda did create most problems.. thats just a fact… since y'all built up the world you’re responsible for both the good and bad

[Opinion Owner]

Oh I see, women have been completely insignificant throughout the history of mankind until just recently. Got it.

[Asker]

and here he goes putting words in my mouth. tell me exactly when i said that?

[Opinion Owner]

"y'all built up the world you’re responsible for both the good and bad"

Your words, not mine.

[Asker]

Are you dumb? im obviously talking about HOW the world is built up. god these males really aren't that smart.

[Opinion Owner]

So HOW the world was bult was by men? Yeah, I'm the one who is dumb here. LMAO.

[Opinion Owner]

I just realized your profile shows you're under 18. I'm guessing 12 or 13.

[Asker]

Dude? you men have always been out building houses, everything, you made the legal system from the beginning while women were just at home with the kids. did u not listen in history class like at all?

[Asker]

you literally dont even know how women were treated back in the day and you’re calling ME stupid🤦‍♀️

[Opinion Owner]

Thanks for confirming your belief is that women had no significance throughout history.

[Asker]

omg🤦‍♀️ talking to men is like talking to a brick wall.

[Opinion Owner]

Every child says that about adults.

[Asker]

never heard about that lol…

[Opinion Owner]

Most children haven't.

[Asker]

so then it isn't every child lmao

[Berethor]

What you mean by he can just switch up? that turns out to be gay? that's unfortunate.

[Asker]

He cheats.

[Berethor]

Does she keep him satisfied and he still cheated? or was she neglecting him?

[Asker]

Cheaters will always cheat, its not the womans fault. and if she was, he could’ve easily just left.

[Rangers]

Here's the cold, hard truth: You're gonna get your heart broken 10, 15, 20 times before something finally works

[Asker]

and when i dont trust the one who finally works because I've been heartbroken too many times what happens then?

[Rangers]

Then hopefully you get married, have children, love them, and take them places. How about Italy? Take them to see the Sicilian mountains, have a Sicilian pizza sandwhich made right, and just be happy

[Asker]

Did you missunderstand my question? how am i supposted to get married or have kids if i dont trust any men?

[Rangers]

You'll have to trust men, even though you know most will screw you over to varying degrees. Think of it as stepping stones towards victory

[Asker]

why? i can only see if i have to work with them, but that doesn't requiere that much trust ig

[Anonymous]

most men lack the options to cheat or leave their spouses much less their families

[Asker]

yet they’re more likely to cheat?

[Opinion Owner]

not even close

not only do men cheat less but when they do, they suck at it and get caught easily

[Asker]

They literally do tho. Statistics show men cheat more AND get caught more. WOMEN are less likely to be caught.

[Opinion Owner]

women getting caught less doesn't prove women are less likely to cheat. it actually proves women are more likely to cheat

not to mention the stats you're referring to is self-reported data thus women are less likely to be honest about having cheated especially if they can get away with it more easily

[Asker]

Why are men dumb?

https://www.mcooperlaw.com/infidelity-stats-2024/

[Asker]

Can men just start taking responsebility and just NOT cheat, stfu.

[Opinion Owner]

thanks for bringing in the self-reported data I already know you're referring to

like I said before

why would a woman who cheats but doesn't get caught self-report her own cheating and therefore expose herself as a cheater?

yes men should take responsibility for cheating just like society needs to hold women accountable for cheating instead of giving them excuses

[Asker]

omg🥱🤦‍♀️
male who can't admit that he’s wrong and sometimes can't blame everything on women:
nobodys giving women excuses🥱

[Opinion Owner]

men do admit when they're wrong and if they don't, society will force them to usually via physical means. no such thing applies to women

if a man cheats on his wife, he'll have to worry about her father and her brothers. if a woman cheats on her husband, who the fuck is there for her to worry about? the police? no they'll just protect her from him

[Asker]

Oh shut the fuck up. Can you men just take responsbility for once? Some admit when they’re wrong some dont. Most dont. Stop praising men like they’re angels that do nothing wrong.

[Asker]

From this convo i can tell you’ve cheated on a lot of relationships.

[Opinion Owner]

how am I praising men? and I sure as heck don't look at men as angels. if anything it's society that sees women as angels.

men who cheat are scum which is accepted by society and rightfully so

women who cheat are sluts which is deemed "misogyny" and "hate speech"

do you see the difference in accountability?

[Asker]

You sure are. As the article said, men are more likely to cheat and they cheat more. WETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT.

Women who cheat are seen as just as bad🥱

[Opinion Owner]

men getting caught more and being honest about cheating does not mean they cheat more than women.

like I said earlier, women are better at hiding their cheating and less likely to admit they've cheated especially in self-reported data, not to mention they change the definition of cheating to suit their agenda

[Asker]

Kinda does tho…
You said the opposite but ok, its progress.
Just accept that you’re wrong for once.

[Opinion Owner]

self-reported data is only reliable with complete honesty

like I said earlier

why would a woman who cheats and hides her cheating well expose herself as a cheater?

[Asker]

and why would a man?

[Opinion Owner]

because you and I both agree men suck at hiding their cheating

if you've been caught cheating you can't deny you've never cheated
if you've never been caught cheating while cheating you can deny you've cheated

that's the difference

[Asker]

Dude what. There is no difference. can you just accept that you’re not always right?

[Opinion Owner]

there is a difference. it means the self-reported data isn't accurate

[Asker]

omfg🤦‍♀️ its useless trying to talk to an uneducated man who refuses to be wrong.

[Opinion Owner]

what am I wrong about? do you even know how statistics work in a scientific method?

[Asker]

proving my point. goodbye.

[Opinion Owner]

lol you didn't make any point

[Staximus]

Women do the same thing all the time, it's not just a man thing

[Staximus]

Don't worry, you can just become a lesbian. They have an even higher divorce rate. You hate men so much that I don't even know why you are asking questions about them anymore. With your attitude you don't have to worry about a man wanting to marry you.

[Asker]

well i dont date women sooo🤷‍♀️

Not really how that works but ok. When did i say i hate men? My god, attacking a minor for no reason?

[Staximus]

Everybody knows who you are, the resident man hating young femcel

[Staximus]

Your questions are getting old

[Asker]

Uh what r u on about? u can ignore the questions if u feel triggered?

[Staximus]

I didn't just fall off the turnip truck. You've had like 3 different profiles on here over the last couple years and always ask the same dumb man hating questions

[Asker]

what are you talking about? why would i be on this stupid app for years?

[spartan55]

Who knows, but here you are? I thought you were banned? Maybe it's time you just went away.

[Asker]

who was talking to u? and what r u guys talking about?

[Kingofkings1992]

Stop your whining and go troll somewhere else

[Asker]

what?

[Asker]

ignore the question if it triggers u?

[Kingofkings1992]

Who's triggered?

[Asker]

you, calling me a troll?

[Kingofkings1992]

It's a common sentiment on this thread

[Kingofkings1992]

Haha. Sure thing kid 👍

[Asker]

why did it get removed?

[DryGermanGuy]

Here comes the beacon of misery… 😵

[Asker]

its realistic tho? so many men have done this

[DryGermanGuy]

And so many men have not. Amazing, huh?

[Asker]

how am i supposted to tell who will and who won't?

[DryGermanGuy]

„You will know... when you are calm, at peace, passive. A Jedi uses the Force for knowledge and defense, never for attack.“
- Yoda, The Empire Strikes Back

[Asker]

what?

[kelvin066]

She is a feminist troll.

[Asker]

once again a man with no education

[OlderAndWiser]

[Asker]

Well if one of them poisons me id probably not wanna try one again, would i?

[Miristheiss]

What does switch up mean?

[Asker]

cheating etc

[Miristheiss]

Oh. Well that is wrong of him and shitty to do.
As long as you didn't pull the bait and switch of getting commitment and then never in the mood for sex again... sentencing him to a celibate life.
Outside of that scenerio he is 100% in the wrong.

[Asker]

So men really only care ab sex?

[Miristheiss]

What do you mean?
It is important.
We do not get married to a woman we live and are attracted to, to then never have sex.
What are you getting at?

[Asker]

it really isn't. Ur proving my point. U dont see us as more than sex dolls.

[Asker]

THIS is why women divorce men.

[Miristheiss]

Hmmm.
So you are in favor of a robotic, platonic marriage. One where women get access to his job, protection, resources but stop being intimate after he signs the contract?
I mean that us what the biological differences between men and women are ALL about. Making babies.
Why marry if sex and babies aren' t a main aspect.
What are you arguing for?
Seriously?

[OlderAndWiser]

This user is a minor, so be careful!

[Asker]

Personally i dont really wanna get married that much, i think both should handle their own stuff🤷‍♀️
Not every couple wants kids, and im pretty sure most couples dont always do it for babies.
That you men only see us as sex dolls, nothing else.

[Asker]

@OlderAndWiser im not 5 i know what sex is.

[Filthy_Immigrant]

that's why you dont RUSH into marriage

[Asker]

people could wait 10 years and he still cheats

[Filthy_Immigrant]

true, Jeff Bezos's married his ex in 1993 yet she still divorce raped him in 2019 after he became the richest man alive. that was literally in 26 years

[Asker]

divorce raped him?

[Filthy_Immigrant]

yeah...

[Asker]

um ok.. never heard about that before lol but ok.
maybe he should’ve been a better husband then🤷‍♀️

[Filthy_Immigrant]

you think so? she is the richest women in the world right now and her main source of income is divorce

again she divorced him in 2019, the same year he was announced the richest man in the world (until Elon Musk Surpassed him in 2021)

doesn't this all sound like a coincidence to you?

[Asker]

yeah sounds like a coincidence, u really think the richest man on earth is a good person?🤣

[Filthy_Immigrant]

are you slow or pretending to be stupid?

she initiated the divorce to LIVE off his ass. that's what divorce rape is

[Asker]

Yeah, date better women🤷‍♀️

[Filthy_Immigrant]

oh so now you agree that women can SWITCH up after a long relationship too?

[Asker]

Um so when did i say they couldnt?

[Filthy_Immigrant]

you are literally framing men as the only ones guilty of this crime in your whole entire post

[Asker]

yes becasue i dont date women so i dont care what they do, it doesn't bother me.

[AngryCarl2]

Women do that too. It's a minefield.

[Asker]

Well i dont date women sooo

[kelvin066]

No, you are a feminist troll. Nice bait

[Asker]

how?

[msc545]

Maybe you don't.

[Asker]

i dont what?

[Anonymous]

You can't. You need a better man.

[Asker]

no shit. how am i supposted to know which men r good and bad?

[Opinion Owner]

Talk to them and you'll figure it out eventually. Good men are not egotists, they are not bragging, they are not narcissists.

[Asker]

And if i dont see those signs?

[Opinion Owner]

Then it's probably safe for you to date them.

[Asker]

what?

[Opinion Owner]

If the guy doesn't show any signs of egotism, narcissism or bragging around, then it's safe for you to date him.

[Asker]

im talking about when I dont see those signs, he has them but i dont see them.

[Opinion Owner]

How do you know he has them if you don't see them?

[Asker]

i dont. Until its too late.

[Opinion Owner]

That's sad.

[Asker]

thats reality for a lot of women.

[blackeagle007]

Troll alert!

[Asker]

how?

[blackeagle007]

You’re here blaming us for your dating woes. It’s really women that are at fault. They iniate divorce most, cheat the most, plus they will only date the top 5% of guys.

Yet we are more loyal

[Asker]

Men are literally more likely to cheat. Women initate more divorce because we want to do something about our problems and not just get a side chick like men do. Like men dont🥱

[blackeagle007]

Ha. Women do get a side stud. Ever seen them being married to the rich old man while banging some stud on the side?

[Asker]

not really, statistics say men do it more tho

[blackeagle007]

Do you have these?

[Asker]

Sure, discreetinvestigations.ca/.../

[blackeagle007]

That article is unclear. It just repeats itself again and again. It did admit higher percentages of what women are guilty in an area

[Asker]

ah yes basic male, anything that doesn't benefit you is fake. dude get a grip.

[blackeagle007]

I happen to be an expert on human anatomy

[Asker]

yeah right