My ex is playing the victim? why is he being so cold?

[Anonymous]

So to give some background information: guy was very into me, after a couple months as friends I started liking him and we dated. Things in his life got hectic, school, work, family and he had to let me go but made it clear his feelings were the same. Anyways yesterday made 3 months since he dumped me, I'm ehh ok with it. Seems he's not! This morning he blocked me off of AIM! So not only did he dump me, refuse to maintain a friendship(I tried but he ignored me) and now 3 months later he blocks me? What's that all about? He knows he hurt me and its his fault we're not together, why am I gettin cut off then? He even ignored my text weeks after the break up where I forgave him and said hope to be friends one day. Any advice would be really appreciated because I'm really confused...he's making me feel like I did something to him and like he hates me...

[Mernster]

Oh God haven't we all been there? My ex dumped me recently stating how he wants to see other people and yet isn't read for a relationship! Being adult I told him we couldn't be friends... It wouldn't work for either of us what with wanting different things and what happens? He gets all arsey... he doesn't want me as a friend with my attitude, he doesn't need me to tell him to have fun! Honey he's being immature! Men don't like it when you take control! You are supposed to pine for them and crave their attention, not go, "Fine! I'll see you around!" By offering friendship you have kind of turned the tables around... it's usually the guy who offers that! By doing so you have let him know it's no big deal... I know it hurt you but by being so calm about it, he's angry! You're not allowed to act like "the big man." If I were you I'd just give in to that old adage and give him space... you may still want a friendship after that but right now, are his tantrums worth the effort?

Concentrate on you! I think you're handling this really well and I actually admire you for it!I couldn't...

[Asker]

Thank you for your response and admiration. he was my first serious relationship so its hard to understand what's going on but I'm doing my best. I was actually dumped because he was moving away and the long distance thing wouldn't work which was fine but now he's acting like I never existed! my friend emailed him a couple days ago to try and talk to him(since he obviously ignores me) and he hasn't read the email nor has he deleted it! its been like 5 days so I really don't know what to expect anymore

[jaylay1]

i went throught bassically the same thing. besides that we broke up because he cheated, and he got pissed that I dumped him. but I forgave him and wante to stay friends

but that wasnt good enough and he blocked me from his life.

it hurts a lot because after all the time we spent together he could just do this to me.

but after a few weeks he started o slowly unblock me. and we started talking again.

he probaly just doesn't know how to handle the situation so he decided to bloick you fm his life.

just give it time and he will probally come back

[Asker]

Thank you for your response. did he block you right away or did he wait a while?

[jaylay1]

He waitied like 2 weeks

[trulymadly]

I've been on both sides. He is probably just feeling hurt and feels that he needs to sever ties from you to get over the break-up. His ego may also be involved in these decisions. You've tried to be the mature one, but I don't think he's in a place right now to be able to be the same way. Just give him the space he needs. If he doesn't want to have you in his life anymore, his loss.

[Asker]

Thank you for your response, but it hurts. I assumed after 3 months he would be over it especially since HE dumped me due to long distance. I did nothing wrong to him and I already forgave him. should I email him and confront him? it bothers me a lot

[trulymadly]

If you feel that it'll make you feel better, even if he acts undesirably, go ahead. I asked my last ex-boyfriend to avoid me and never talk to me again when we ended things. He acted hurt, but he didn't know I cried. When he acted petrified when he saw me, I realized that I was over it. I told him that I'd like to be friends, since I no longer had any hard feelings toward him. We're not friends, but acquaintances. I know it hurts. Just make sure your intentions aren't to get back together

[Asker]

Well at first I just didn't wanna lose him, we ended things strictly due to long distance so I assumed maybe things could work out if he ever was back in town hence why I wanted to at least maintain a friendship. since he ignores me, my friend(our mutual friend) emailed him to try to talk to him. 5 days later, he hasn't even read the email or deleted it. I just want to know why he's acting so immature and get some closure already(we never talked things out afterwards because he's ignored me ever since)

[highfive123]

Same thing happened to me...except she did it to me. She told me she wasnt in love anymore and wanted to be friends. Then after I stopped contacting her to get over it, and move on like she wanted me to in the first place, she seemed to get upset and act cold towards me. Deleting me of myspace, and acting like I did something horrible to her.

When you figure it out..lol..let me know why the dumpers act so childish...i'd love to find out!

[GucciMane]

Seems like a bunch of bs if he really loved or loves you trust me he wouldn't let you go at all, his work, school, family, sounds like nothing but an excuse to leave you, there's rarely any girls these days that are loyal anymore, so if he left you & you're really a girl a guy could ask for don't worry another guy will be happy to be with you...

[Anonymous]

It's called being immature, guys who have nothing to hide and are honest will never cut you off like that unless it's the other way around where the girl does something to the guy but this guy seems so immature and is trying to play the victim.

In my case with my ex, he broke up with me for a reason that he made it look "ok". Then after 3 days I found out he cheated on me with some girl, I was shocked. I ignored him since the break up though(which was good), anyways he did the same thing to me he blocked me from facebook and later on from myspace(you know playing the victim). He recently unblocked me from facebook which makes him look so childish. Anyways, I'm glad I am out of the relationship and that I don't have to deal with him. His true colors came out without him wanting them to show to me, but you know what they say the truth comes out sooner or later.

[tealbaby3]

my ex boyfriend did the same thing to me after he cheated on me wiith my bestfriend! he blocked me etc... and just yesterday (3 months later), unblocked me. I honestly don't know what to say... I think the "dumpers" do this as a defense mechanism... and they try to make us feel terrible and like we did something wrong and that they are the victims, to make themselves feel better about themselves.

[Anonymous]

I know im a little late with this but my ex did the same. She broke up with me and when i tried to keep us strong still she suddenly accused me of being obsessed and wants nothing to do with me. She claims herself as some sort of victim. The best advice i can give you is that they only have as much power over you as you allow. They threw away a diamond for a bunch of rocks so its on them to deal with the consequences. One day you'll find a person who won't do this crap to you. Good Luck

[Anonymous]

He cut you off because he didn't want you in his life! Trust me guys don't waste time on girls they don't think they have a future with. You said he "had" to let you go, sorry to break it to you, he didn't have to, he wanted to.

[Anonymous]

Girls don't realize that guys have their own set of rules most likley you were his convenience chick sumone to fall back on. He probably didn't like you because no guy cuts off a girl he really likes.