How can I stop hoping he will come back to me?

[Anonymous]

My ex and I only just broke up on Friday. We broke up because he was going through stuff and couldn't give me what I needed for the relationship to work. Neither of us wanted it and it was so hard.

I told him I need absolutely no contact so I can move on and he agreed to respect that. I know space is for the best, but I so wish I could hear from him again. I keep thinking of things I would say to him, and how I respond if he said he wanted to get back together. I know I have to move on and I keep telling myself that but I can't help having these thoughts.

I have already deleted his number from my phone, got rid of things that remind me of him, removed him from my close friends on Facebook, hid him from my news feed and have pretty much stopped checking my Facebook altogether. Is there anything else I can do to stop thinking about him and what I want to say to him?

[knowmeyourself]

Have you ever had a flu then relapsed after being off medication? It's like you are doing fine but once you cease the use of meds and not take care of yourself or what you should, you get sick once more? It happened to me and that is like breaking up with a lover.

It is normal to miss him and miss the good memories the two of you had together. Going from daily contact to no contact is so hard. I lived it and know it so well. You get mixed feelings like "I know it's for the better that we're not together" then "I miss him so much" then "I wish we could get back together" and so on. You are not alone and it is so normal.

What you need to know that missing him is one thing but knowing that you are better off is another thing. Miss him as you wish but don't get back if you made up your mind and know very well you took the right decision. Avoid relapse.

What helped me so much is that the day I broke up I worked so hard. I was extremely productive right after I broke up. I focused on myself, my studies, my job, etc...I also talked to my friends if I felt down. I also accepted the low moods I got and told myself "It is normal. Forgive yourself". The key is to shift your focus onto something else; work, studies, exercise, etc...so that you are always busy and have no time to dwell into negative thoughts. Eventually, and trust me, you will get over him very quickly. I have been there.

The biggest mistake you can ever do is to sit there and dwell on it. You will get into a trap of negative thoughts and a viscious circle that has no end.

You are on the right track now; you cut contact. That said, all what you need to do is to move forward and avoid relapse by keeping yourself busy and productive.

Good luck. :)

[Deft_maiden]

By breaking up with him you created a vacuum that needs to be filled. Fill it wisely! U've made the right moves thus far. Keep it up. Stay focused on the present while keeping your future in mind. Do not look back as he is a part of your past. What you feel is very natural. Don't be hard on yourself. Just remind yourself of the reasons you broke up and how unhappy you were. In short channel your thoughts and energies positively. you can do it, it just takes some time :)

[Pink89]

Omg I totally understand what ur going through cuz Im dealing with it right now. My ex and I broke up 6 months ago. I tried many possible ways to move on even went on a date with another guy. He moved back to my city 3 days ago and all the old feelings just spark again. I deeply in love with him but he said he doesn't think we will last forever and doesn't want to hurt me again. I dont know what to do?

[JakeD]

Unfortunately, other than trashing material things and cutting connections, there isn't much. Time is really the only way you can go about moving on without him. There is perhaps one alternate option, although I don't really think you would want to contact him again to discuss why you 2 should not be together. My best advice would be to give it time, and if worse comes to worse one of you can contact the other and try to talk things out so you can move on without leaving on a sour note.

[baliguy11]

It was only last Friday sso you are going to struggle for a while. Do you have friends to hang with? Do you have a cool hobby? Something you could really get into for a while? If not, I can only offer up a cure I would recommend to guys. after two days you are not ready for that.

[anthony8x]

Well most girls tend to get other boyfriends to occupy their time.

[Anonymous]

only time will help you heal, it took me an entire year to be able to fully commit myself to moving on and not talking to my ex and we dated for three years. everyone is different but eventually time will help your feelings fade

[Anonymous]

Damn, you waste no time...You go girl!