Is stripping at the strip club cheating if you have a boyfriend of 5 years?

[Thegoodbadgirl]

I went to the strip club on Monday for my first time, I drank a bit, then decided I wanted to try myself! I talked to the manager and he was up for it! So I changed and went in for my three songs. I made $101! I had a blast and felt good! But I had to tell my bf! So I went home and told him what happened and he freaked saying it was cheating and I broke his heart, I feel so bad for hurting him but I really really had fun! I might even wanna do it again! I just want to hear everyone's thoughts on this.. Please and thank u!

[TheoryOfMan]

You have been with your boyfriend for 5 years, and this is something I’m assuming you two haven’t discussed? However your boyfriend might have assumed that you should have known better than to strip in front of other men. Stripping is a part of the adult entertainment/sex industry. If that’s not something you’ve ever done before, and you were just being impulsive then I totally get it. However you mustn’t understand that you were indeed wrong for it, and yes that was a form of cheating.

There are tons of terrible things in the world of “dancing”. Drug use, prostitution, rape, infidelity, and lust all are abundant in that industry. Have you ever met a girl who’s been “turned out”? It’s a sad thing to see. It seems as if you hurt him deeply and you broke his trust. But if you truly love him and want to stay with him, there is hope. You must ask for forgiveness and speak openly and honestly to one another. Try not to minimize what you’ve done because it will lead to anger and resentment on his part. What you did was indeed wrong, and I think you know it because of the statements you’re making. “I had a few drinks and decided” basically indicating the reason you didn’t give it the proper thought was because you were inbriated and that clouded your judgement. By saying “what’s so different than him having nude magazines” almost indicates that what you did was retaliatory and you’re minimizing the harm you caused. Looking at porn and nudes is 100% different than having your spouse dance naked and show to other people what should be yours. If your boyfriend masterbates to porn, or looks at it those pictures and videos can not look back or hoot and holler at him, or touch him! Don’t gloss over what you did. It’s not right or fair to his feelings. If you don’t like that he had pornos you should have expressed that to him and moved forward. I’m not trying to sound condescending but do you possibly suffer from bipolar disorder? Mental illness can cause people to engage in impulsive sexual behavior. If that’s the case seek treatment if you aren’t already. You may have been having an episode. All in all if it’s something you want to do more than being with him, then best of luck and break things off the right way! But beware, the sex industry is dangerous.

[Marinepilot]

I'd say you got it right. Bravo ! Well done.

[TheAnswerer]

I don't consider that to be cheating. It is sort of your job at that stage, and you aren't actively involved with anyone else in particular.

I personally would be more disturbed about the fact that I'm hearing about it afterward than the whole stripping part.

The guy has the right to be disturbed. I think you should have told him about how you wanted to do this BEFORE you did it.

So, to summarize, there is nothing "wrong" with what you did, other than not talking about it with your boyfriend beforehand.

[Thegoodbadgirl]

Yes I should have mentioned it but I never thought it would come up and he would have been upset about the whole idea:( I don't know if I should fight for forgiveness or just move on?

[TheAnswerer]

You are at a crossroads right now.

As far as I understand, your boyfriend wants you to never repeat something like that again.

If you enjoyed the experience of stripping and want to do it again, then you and your boyfriend should part ways for good. Otherwise, you will both be unhappy.

But if it was a one-time adventure, and you are not planning to do something like that again, then may be mention that to him, and "ask" (not "beg") for forgiveness, since the relationship can still work.

[selfishstars]

What constitutes as cheating varies from couple to couple. It's breaking the rules that they have set for their relationship.

Of course, sometimes things pop up that you may not have specifically discussed with your partner, and you might not be sure. If you're unsure, you should avoid doing it until you've had a chance to talk to your partner about it, particular when it comes to things like nudity, sex, and arousal.

Some good questions to ask yourself when you're unsure are:

1. Would I do this in front of my partner?

2. Would I tell my partner I did this?

3. Do I think my partner would be okay with this?

4. Would I be okay with my partner doing this?

You took off your clothes in front of other men without knowing, or bothering to ask, whether your partner was okay with it. You hurt him and likely broke his trust in you. I do think you're in the wrong.

[msbossy]

I don't think it's cheating but you should see how he feels just out of respect for your relationship. and if he is OK with it you go girl...

[AskChloe]

How would you like it if your boyfriend of 5 years decided to stirp in front of women?

[Thegoodbadgirl]

I don't think I'd mind I didn't give a lap dance, if I gave a lap dance then I would understand, what's the difference between him having magazines with naked women in them and me being the naked one getting looked at? Well I only had my top off and underwear, kinda naked but not!

[TheDigitalSaint]

You should have asked him first. Just imagine if your boyfriend did likewise in front of a room of girls. Do think you'd be fine with it? Even if you were, you should have given him the courtesy before rushing into it. If my girlfriend did something like this, I'd dump her in a heartbeat.

[Thegoodbadgirl]

I agree with the part you said I should have asked him, but I still don't get what the difference in him haveing magizines w half naked chicks in them and me being the half naked chick looked at? Do you watch p*rn? would you ask it Girlfriend before you put in your big tittie bitch p*rn in?

[TheDigitalSaint]

I don't watch p*rn for one, and I don't show up naked or half-naked in front of other men in person. What you did was very wrong. There is no further explanation that I can give you. Obviously, your boyfriend agrees. I suggest you severely apologize and see if you can gain his trust back if you want to mend your relationship.

[TheTattooer]

Here's the deal... you people say it's a job, it is a job and it's a job in the adult industry, just like being a pornstar or a pristitute. Here's the problem. its cheating unless you agreed upon it prior to you doing it. You might have made money at it, but you put yourself on display for other people on a whim when I'm guessing that you wouldn't even do that for your significant other. You sought attention from other people while you were nude. His porn videos or magazines aren't live and in person grinding on him. There is nothing you can say or do to justify your actions to make you feel better about yourself.

[MoGhazy]

Well, speaking of me being your BF.. you are my own sweet thing! now you had been lets see for how many others? ALOT.. so its heart breaking sadly :( You shouldn't of drunk that much. I drink a'lot, but never had been that far maybe you had the intention in the inside ? :(.

[ericclayton]

I could never be with a girl who does that. Plus all the things that go hand in hand with the sex industry (narcotics dependence, alcoholism, prostitution, mental health issues, and promiscuity).

[psychman]

It's not cheating it's a job, but he may have a belif system that conflicts with his girlfriend being a stripper so you may want to talk to him about why he was so upset.

[Anonymous]

I guess it's not cheating, but it is still something he is disappointed in you about. He and many other guys don't want a stripper girlfriend.