If I unfriended my ex on Facebook. What will her reaction be?

[Anonymous]

I decided to unfriend my ex girlfriend what do you think her reaction will be? She hurt me a lot when we were couple and now we broke up supposedly stayed "friends." More than a year later she still contacts me from time to time. Usually in those encounters she is still demeaning and some times demanding as if she still expects me to do things for her. (like consoling her when she has problems with her new boyfriend. -yes, that really happened.-)

Given the circumstances, what do you suppose will be her reaction if she finds out I un-friend her without giving her previous notice or any hint?

[3boys4me]

Um if she finds out that you unfriended her she will prob think that she still holds some power over you. Cause if you really didn't give a sh*t about her then her contacting you wouldn't bother you in the slightest. Can't you just block her so she cannot contact you and you cannot see her posts and stuff. She will be unaware that you have done this and you will have peace of mind. If you unfriend her it will just seem petty and like you are still harboring feelings for her.

[vera123]

She sounds like she isn't really being a "friend" to you at all, so I wouldn't worry about how she feels in this case. She doesn't seem to worry too much about your feelings, or else she wouldn't come to you with problems about the new guy.

[CallaLily]

"Wow...what a prick. I wonder what reaction he's trying to get out of me...all well I'll block him and see how he likes that! :) "

[CallaLily]

i posted this having only read the title. My boyfriend tries to get advice from me on his new girlfriend which is messed up I don't know why they torture us lol. He's a prick anyways. I blocked him a long time ago. But- he made a fake account and tried to talk to me, told me he loved me and missed me etc. hopefulyl she doesn't go all crazy stalker on you like my ex

[Asker]

Haha, the reaction in your first answer actually sounds like something she would say at least as a first reaction. Yeah, its quite a torture when they do that. And she acted with a complete lack of empathy when she did that kind of things. When I told her she should ask her girlfriends and that it was quite unkind of her coming to ask, she acted surprise like she could have never imagine it would bother me.

[CallaLily]

awe... I feel bad for you. You need to find someone better!

[CatholicVirginia]

Why does her reaction matter to you? She's out of your life, like you wanted. Or did you do it purposely to be petty?

[Asker]

I did not wanted her out of my life. I loved her. She forced me to dump her by making my life miserable to the point I could not take it anymore.

[CatholicVirginia]

Oh please, you didn't love her. If you loved her, you wouldn't want to hurt her now. You wouldn't have "dumped" her; you would have let her go. You don't love this girl. So now the question is why does her reaction matter to you?

[Asker]

So, you think you know me so well sot hat you are able to tell my true feelings? Give me a break.

[CatholicVirginia]

So... answer my question. Why does her reaction matter?

[Asker]

Because I do not know what I could expect from her. After dumping her she was stalking me and some times tried to intervene when she saw me with other girls. If this happens to be hard for her, she could show up and do something silly. She has behaved like a psycho in the past. link

[Asker]

You think I did not love her because I dumped her. But see I was in a very hurtful relationship, she was quite abusive. There was a point when I realized I had to start taking care of myself. It was really hard but I had to do it. You are right now I do not love her anymore and a lot of my feelings have turned into resentment. I am not proud of it, but I think its a natural reaction due to all of the hurt she caused. I've to deal with it, probably unfriending her takes me a step forward

[CatholicVirginia]

If she behaves so unnaturally, how are we supposed to advise you? Most on this site would not stalk, embarrass, or physically harm an ex - or, at least, they wouldn't admit to it. Very few people seriously would. So why are you asking this question?

The reason I keep asking is, you pinpointed, resentment. Treasure the time you had with her. Love the times you had. And let it go. Stop worrying about her and her reaction. Live for yourself. Being petty will not help you heal.

[Asker]

Well, the opinion of people here can be very valuable. If for girls in general being unfriended in Facebook is a big deal, then I have to prepare for possible repercussions.

I would rater forget about her than treasure any time with her. It was too hurtful. I cannot "love" the times we had any more than I can love feeling miserable. She just made suffer that much. If you have not been in this kind of abusive relationships you have no idea what it is like.

[CatholicVirginia]

Please don't pretend that no one can understand you. I just hope you're focusing more on forgetting her than getting revenge or being petty. I do honestly hope the best for you, and I'd rather see you move on than base your actions on her reactions.

[Asker]

I am not pretending no one can understand me. I think people who has been in abusive relationships does understand very well. For the rest maybe more difficult. I know I would not understand myself If it was not because I experienced it.

Why do you seem pick on everything I write and take it in such a negative way?

[CatholicVirginia]

I just pointed out that one line and the rest were well wishes. And the reason I said it was to make you realize that you are not alone, and to not immediately reject advice from someone because you don't believe (or know) whether they were in an abusive relationship. It's honestly for your benefit. I'd like to see you recovered and whole enough that you could appreciate the good times. You deserve that.

[Asker]

Ok, I was referring to the conversation as a whole, just checking if there was more to it. Thank you for the good wishes.

[CatholicVirginia]

Yeah, the main gist I've been trying to get at is get over it. It's hard, I know, and much easier said than done, but in the end, getting over her - not caring about her reactions or anything, and being able to distance yourself from your past together - is healthier for you. I wish you the best.

[Asker]

I think you are right. Thank you.

[sfauo]

To be blunt, who cares what her reaction is. I say this because 1) she's your ex 2) she's hurt you 3) she's still using you

Are you really going to degrade yourself like that? Have more self respect.

Keep people around that you actually want in your life. Besides, seems there's nothing good coming out of this "friendship".

[martyfellow]

She'll be pretty angry no doubt. I'd contact her to explain why you're doing it. If she's using you as a sounding board for her current relatioship, it's time to part ways. She's being more than impolite, she's using you emotionally!

[Anonymous]

"Wtf? What an a**hole." *calls him up* "Why did you unfriend meh on FB?!"