Is anyone dying to move out but can't afford it? (rant)

[Anonymous]

I'm 22, I live at home, I have one more year of school to finish and it's really time for me to move out. I had to come back home because I didn't graduate in 4 years, my school is too expensive so the plan was to finish here because its much cheaper in state. However, for a variety of reasons, my parents and I have arguments and it has gotten to the point where they think I need to move out. I agree with them, but I also have no money to my name. I have a part time, seasonal job and hours have been cut back so I barely make any money. I didn't look for a full time job because I'm going to school in the spring. And now, my parents have said that not only should I move out, but if I move out, they aren't helping me with school. Its annoying because these people never know where they stand. If this were going to be the case all along, I could have kept my ass in new york. I didn't have to come home, I could have looked for a job before school was over and saved up. I had friends looking for apartments, and every time I considered getting my own place, my parents fought me on it. The whole point of coming home was to finish school at a cheaper price because they pay for my education. If I'm going in debt anyway, by taking out loans from government on my own, then I might as well have stayed in New York. Other people do it. SO I came home, only to get an apartment in a city I can't stand and pay for school myself at a school I don't want to attend. WHAT THE HELL WAS THE POINT?

Its my fault for allowing my parents to support me all these years. that's also my issue. My parents have never raised me to be independent. Every single time I brought up getting a job, they said no, just focus on school. I didn't do too well in school, so I get how that's disappointing. When I wanted to move out of the dorm, they didn't want me to do that. So its a method of control, up to this point, because now they really do want to get rid of me. I had no choice but to leave because I had no apartment and my parents pay for my education. Now they aren't going to pay and I have to get a place anyway? again, could have f***ing kept my ass in new york. I'm so over this sh*t.

Anyone in a similar boat?

And advice to parents out there - don't raise your kid to be a leech, especially if you ever plan to flip flop and decide that they should suddenly work full time, go to school full time, and pay for an apartment all on their own in a matter of months. Make them work at a young age at least somewhat. don't be a f***ing hypocrite.

[MissBella]

I used to be in this boat. I lived at home and I always fought with my parents and my brother, I used to say I wanted to be moved out. Home was horrible for me, we were constantly fighting and it was driving me mad. Me and my fiance got engaged and moved in together and trust me it isn't easy! Now I've moved out I've realized how easy I had it at home. Sure it's great to have your own place to do what you want, no one to tell you otherwise, it's heaven. But, it's not easy managing bills, barley being able to cover it when my friends are all out clubbing. I haven't bought myself anything in six months, and the last time I did it was a pair of jeans. When you move out you have rent, gas, electric, food, tax and car insurance if you drive. Trust me, it all adds up and it's very hard.

I felt the same way when living at home and now I'm moved out I realize just how much my parents did for me. Mine also didn't want me to get a job, they wanted me to focus on school and I thought they were being mean. Now I know just how lucky I was to have them buy and give me whatever I wanted as long as I tried hard at school. It's not only bills you have to manage ether, it's all the cooking, cleaning and washing your clothes. May sound easy, but it's really not. You should try and talk to your parents, tell them your sorry and you'll try your best at school. Tell them you respect them and you understand it's their house, their rules. It'll be hard to say it but it'll go in you favor, they'll be much happier and will lay off you. You'll seem really mature and understand other than "I wanna move out!".

If you do move out try and mend your relationship with your parents before you do, if you move out on bad terms it'll be so much harder to mind your relationship. Plus if you fail to live on your own, their much more likely to offer you moving back home. After all, if you don't have a family what else do you have?

If you do decide to move out you'll need to consider...

- where to live

- if you can even afford it

- if your going to rent or buy

- if you should get a small place or larger and take in roommates

- who to live with if living with others

- can you cook

- where will you get all your living utensils and furnitaure

- how are your housekeeping skills

- do you have any savings

- how can you afford to live with little work hours

- can you afford school and your own place

I pay almost £1200 ($1900) a month to live alone.

[justme20]

nope I loved living at home. My mother is super over protective and only wants the best for her kids. I have my own place and working full time while going to school full time (im 21). You can still work part time and move into a student apartment. My friends work 20 hours per week making 8.50 an hour and have enough to pay rent (rent and utilities all included in one price)

[Anonymous]

I'm not in the same situation as you but I understand how you feel.

I was laid off my last job and had to move home but it's been 2 years living with my parent's.

After having no money for several month's I swallowed my pride and went on income support but I get less than 300 a month which most of that goes to rent (so my parent's can keep heat and electricity on in the house), which means I don't have the income to move out and get my own place. Lately I've been talking about moving in with my sister and her husband who live in the city but my mom doesn't want me to move out for various reasons I disagree with.

If I did move to the city odds are I'll be able to find a job within a month or two and get off income support which I personally find humiliating.

I could add more but that rant should last me a few weeks at least. :)

[Opinion Owner]

I forgot to say that I'm 28 years old and I have my high school diploma so I should be more than capable to move out and care for myself.

[Asker]

city life is the best, imo. but you have to do what's right for you.

lol yeah, rants can be very cathartic. :)

im sorry about your situation. you help pay the bills at your parents home? that sucks, but its also really kind of you. I do think that at some point, you have to live for yourself. moving out may not exactly be it, but are you making strides in the right direction for your desired career field, education if you want that, etc? don't let life pass you by.

[Opinion Owner]

I don't know what I want for a career other than maybe writing but I tend to run out of names very quickly. another thing I want to do is buy some land and build a set of apartments on it from the ground up and as I live in one apartment I'll be renting out the others. the 2nd one would require allot of money though.

[iwish46]

Coming from someone who did start working at a young age, I wouldn't have minded getting things paid for me. Then I wouldn't have to think about money all of the time. But I do understand how you feel a little perturbed that your parents all of a sudden change there minds.

Answering your initial question, I would have loved to move out of my parents house at the age of 16. I like having alone time and am an independent person. I'm currently 22. Hopefully some time next year, if I find a job, I'll have my own place.

[Asker]

i can definitely appreciate the benefits of having financially supportive parents. I'm really lucky and I think I haven't shown how grateful I am through my actions (like not doing as well as I know I could in school). I just think its also crippling your child to pay for everything and always fight any sign of independence. however, its also pretty frustrating to go from 0 to 60 all at once. I do get their point - if you get to the point where we have too many issues, its time for you to leave.

[Janson]

Wow lol. My situation is almost exactly like yours. Parents are way too involved in my life and my decisions. They are stuck in an old paradigm of thinking, that tells them that only people who are docs and lawyers find happiness in life. I honestly can't wait to get enough money to move out, so I can start making my own decisions. My parents wouldn't let me work when I was young ,because they are overly focused on schooling. If I ever have kids, there isn't a chance in hell I would force them not to work. As early as 13, kids should be doing simple jobs, so they learn the value of a dollar. I think the reason they are against me having a job today is because they know that if I make too much money, id be able to move out and make my own decisions and all of the above. Of coarse, I have my ways of getting around that, and so ill soon be able to get out of here. But it will take some time still

[sexyasianboi26]

To each of his own lol

I live with my parents lol. The only time I lived alone is when I was stationed in Okinawa, Iraq and Afghanistan during the war.

I don't let society and peoples judgement get at me. Asian culture is very family oriented and that's what matters for me.

[Asker]

So you're not dying to move out then, right? lol thanks for answering anyway :)

I'm not very family oriented. My views and values are too far removed from those of my family. I have a very independent mind, always have. I just have very dependent, broke pockets.

[sexyasianboi26]

Intelligence vs What you want. Your gonna to suck it up lol, life sucks. I've been in tougher situations than you, like when I was on duty at the Paktika Province. I had bullets as my wake up call and I couldn't enjoy taking a sh*t without hearing and feeling the bullets fly pass over my head.

[Asker]

I really don't think you can compare the military with my situation, but okay lol

You chose to join the military in a single decision. Aside from the fact that making your own way is very different from having shelter and food provided for you, and the military does provide those services as far as I know, I didn't choose to be in this situation nor did I choose how I was raised. I get your point, but you're comparing totally different things.

Meh. Maybe you should pay my bills? ;)

[Asker]

also doesn't the military provide payment for your education and housing as well? A friend of mine was in the military for 8 years I believe and he had his own apartment on the upper east side of new york. He never worked a single day of our four years there. The military also paid for his school. Of course he has been in different, "tougher" situations, but I'm talking about providing for yourself. And my friend in ROTC got a free Mustang, so...

[sexyasianboi26]

Lol sure if you were my wife haha. and yes, I get ridiculous benefits. I can go to any university and they will pay my college for free, and give me a $2000 monthly allowance depending on the amount of credits I take. But I'm not doing that, I'm fine where I am now, I'm just enjoying life and living it to the fullest.

I can compare myself to you because I've been at the lowest, I grew up in a poor country, no electricity and lighting, so I've experienced it all :)

[Asker]

...so that's a no, to you paying my bills?

eh. it was worth a shot.

as a side note, I think if I were asian, my situation may be worse, stereotypically. that whole stereotype of them being extremely strict and traditional, yikes. I probably would have been kicked out a long time ago. lol

[Asker]

Oh, well then lets get married, sh*t. I will take your $2,000 a month. ^__^

I actually have a friend who's a gold digger. She dates military guys a lot. I think I know why now.

really? where are you from? poverty sucks. my parents grew up poor. not like third world country poor, but like food stamps poor.

I know I sound like a whiney, spoiled brat. That's probably because it's true. :/

[sexyasianboi26]

lol take my advice and plan things ahead. I know it sounds stupid and corny, but write down your Plan A, Plan B, Plan C, ect...and set them in motion. 1% of Americans are in the military and we set the standards for other people to follow. Its what I learned "1. Observe your surroundings, 2. Gather information, 3.Form a plan, 4. Attack"- that logic always works.

[LilComptonDeuce]

lol! I feel you bro. I live home too. Now it is just my mother and I. After my family got evicted we know live in a apartment. I'm going to school and working. My mother can't retire now but once I finish school and I'll move out then and once I make it into acting then I'll buy my mother a house and allow her to retire.

[Anonymous]

You are only 22. that's no big deal, and you are a girl, for a guys it sucks more, especially in the U. S. culture, literally no one would date you if you are in the mid 20's or late 20's and living with your parents. I'm in my late twenties, and because of a risky move I made in the stock market I lost the work of several years, and it sucks having to live here

[LilComptonDeuce]

That's sucks man. I pray everything works out for you. I'm 24 and at home. I'm working and going to school. When I'm finished I'm moving out. Right now it is just my mother and I. I help my mom out. God bless you.