He dumped me because we moved too fast?

[Anonymous]

My ex and I got really close really fast. We needed to slow things down, but I had dropped out of school and was really depressed so I stuck around a lot. We dated two weeks, were long distance for 3 months, then we were basically living together. Not having the extra space he fell out of love, and ended it.

Now he wants to be friends. I said okay but blew him off. I leave it up to him if he wants to contact me. But he has, and we've hung out once (he's about to take his EMT test so he's in study mode).

If I back up, and give him the space he wants, could he change his mind?

He said if we had slowed down earlier, it would have worked out. I just don't know what to do.

[lonely90]

Im going to share my story with you. I broke up with my ex girlfriend because I fell out of love with her, we did kinda move fast and I didn't love her any more so I broke up with her. After a month of not being with her I started missing her and I feel back in love with her like never before. She took me back but then she broke up with me 2 weeks later. She had fallen out of love with me. I missed her for the first 3 weeks like crazy now I'm good. But just give it time if things are met to be they will be. Leave him alone give him time to think.

[Asker]

Thanks for sharing your story, I'm sorry she didn't feel the same anymore. How long did it take you to miss her without any contact at all? Would it be better to be friends, or not contact at all?

[lonely90]

Well At first I texted her telling her that everything was going to be different, but it was too late she probably had fallen for another guy whos knows but I left her alone I haven't spoken with her for 3 weeks and it just gets better, Don't even be friends with him for now its the best you still have feeling for him and if you keep talking to him. its ganna be harder for you to forget about him. So my best advise is to just back off for a little while and see how things get.

[Asker]

But after you dumped her, how long did it take you to miss her, and were you in contact at that time?

I only plan on talking to him (when he starts it) until he starts dating someone.

[lonely90]

I didn't really contact her because I didn't really miss her that much. We probably talked like 3 times the whole month we were apart. The last time we talked before getting back together we talk each other that it was best if we didn't talk anymore because we had a little argument ans that's when I realized that I liked her more then I though I did. How often do you talk to this guy?

[Asker]

Almost every day. We had been alternating who started the conversations. Last time we talked was the 17th. Last time we met up was the 14th. But I'm not starting contact any more.

[lonely90]

Its the best thing for real. Just talk to your friends and theyll confort you. If you need people to talk to, you can talk to me I felt what your feeling right now. just leave him alone and surround yourself by love ones.

[PhilaPenn]

Yeah, too much too fast is the death of a relationship. Distance makes the heart grow fonder. Also, if you're depressed you probably don't need to be in a relationship. It rubs off on your partner.

[Asker]

I'm not depressed anymore- and I hid it well, but I know it weighed on me a bit. So you think there's a chance?/ what should I do?

[PhilaPenn]

Hmm...how long has it been? I'd say give him some space to take the exam and get school out of the way and cautiously approach the subject. But be honest about how you feel. I think that's all you can do.

[Asker]

We broke up a month ago tomorrow. He takes his test tomorrow, and another one and Saturday. We have plans to meet up some time next week to drink and play xbox (as friends, stress relieving). So I'm planning on just not messaging him until he messages me (I just started this yesterday) because I know he's busy. Also, I want him to miss me, and not annoy him this week while he's busy. We got breakfast on V day together, but it wasn't a date

[Arwens-Fire]

Well,anything COULD happen,but don't bet on it.

I don't think you should necessarily be in a relationship until your personal life is right.

If I were you,I would just not contact him.AND I wouldn't try and be friends with him either if I has other motives.You're only harming yourself in that type of situation...think about it...good luck.

[why-makoto-kun]

I can't tell you for sure, but when someone smothers me, I want out for good. Best of luck to you.