Questions: Break Up & Divorce

I spent 2 years with a guy who initially said he didn’t want a relationship, but we eventually fell in love. He treated me like his girlfriend—introducing me to friends and family, celebrating birthdays with surprises, traveling together, being deeply intimate, and talking every day. He listened to my problems and helped me through tough times. I truly believed we had something real, and from the outside, it seemed like the perfect relationship.

But over time, he started pulling away, prioritizing friends and family over me. He bluntly told me, “I won’t marry you,” and then left for Iraq, saying he’d been honest from the start about going back to his country. When I asked about trying long-distance, he called me a burden, criticized me for my family issues, and even said he had to tell me what to do about a cockroach in my condo. He claimed I should have understood when he said he wouldn’t marry me. I begged him to reconsider, but he quickly moved on, even saying we could still be “friends on Facebook.”

He’s already back on dating apps, seemingly unaffected by our breakup. Now I’m wondering—was I being used? Was I wrong to think we had something real? What kind of person moves on so easily?

If the break up was mutual and there was no bad blood I don’t see any harm in wishing an ex a happy birthday UNLESS they are or you are already in a new relationship. What do you think?