I've been noticing that there is a fundamental divide between men and women in dating:
Women feel like they deserve more effort from men whereas men feel like women's expectations are too high.
Instead of trying to cast judgment on the issue, I wanted to try and take an objective look at what has been going on between the sexes over the years. Since the dating market can be modeled as a market, I decided to do a simple supply and demand analysis of the situation.
To do this analysis, I had to make some assumptions:
First, I made the assumption that a man's effort while dating is dependent on the quantity of DTF women available (supply) and men's aggregate desire to have sex (demand).
Second, I made the assumption that men's desire for sex was maxed-out from day 1 and could not be increased.
Third, I made the assumption that men are the only gender in pursuit of the opposite sex.
These assumptions were meant to simplify the analysis. To analyze our relations over the years, we need an initial point:
1. Pre-Contraceptives (Pre 1960s)
Before contraceptives, men and women courted for keeps; sex was very risky in terms of childbearing, so it made sense that commitment (a high amount of effort) would be a prerequisite for sex.
2. Post-Contraceptives (1960s-2000s)
After women used contraceptives on a widespread basis, the amount of women who were willing to have sex undoubtedly increased; and the quantity of DTF women increased (the pink line moved right relative to previous graph). Nonetheless, men didn't want to have sex more since their desire for sex was already at its maximum level. As a result, the effort required by a man in order to have sex decreased.
3. Post-Male Exodus (Today)
Today, we are in the midst of the sexodous, a movement in which some men are giving up on the dating process entirely because they perceive women's standards are too high, the men don't feel worthy, etc. This movement results in a decrease in men's desire to have sexy time as a whole (the blue line moved left relative to previous graph). Surprisingly, this movement also has a side-effect of decreasing the amount of effort needed by a man to have sex; since there are less men pursuing sex, men who still pursue sex have less competition. Therefore, they put in even less effort.
This graph is a summary of the previous graphs, and it will be used to explain why we get frustrated with one another nowadays. The primary frustrations between the sexes seem to arise out of the difference between the effort that has been historically required by men in order to get sex and the effort that is required today in order to get sex. Women justifiably think that they are just as worthy as their mother and grandmother in order to receive comparable amounts of effort from the men in their life while dating. Therefore, most women expect that men will approach them with the effort that was required historically.
Men, on the other hand, are playing the market. They are the "buyers" in this analysis (they are primarily the ones approaching women). Therefore, they want to invest as little as possible and get as much as possible out of the situation. They have likely dealt with multiple women personally, in addition to hearing about their guy friends' situations. As a result, men tend to have a good idea about the market and about what kind of effort is necessary in order to have sex.
Here is where the genders conflict. It is true that women today are just as valuable as their mothers and grandmothers, on an individual basis. It is also true that the requisite amount of effort in order to have sex has decreased over time. Therefore, women expect men to put in effort that was required historically whereas men balk at that idea because they know that they can get what they want with significantly less effort. What you end up with is a whole bunch of guys saying that women are entitled with outrageous expectations, and a whole bunch of women saying that men won't commit. They are both correct, and economics is why.
So why do men have no game? The market says they don't need it.