I have read people saying that commitment phobia isn't real and people with commitment phobia are just really not interested or wanna have sex with multiple people, etc...
Really, that's not the case.
I am a commitment phobe and this is why I know that I am one-
1) I am a virgin
So therefore, I do not go around sleeping with mutiple men every night. I do not even flirt with a lot of people. Or anyone at all. Why? Because I know that I will break up the relationship(if we get to one) at the end for some weird reason. I have done this three times already. It wasn't that I didn't like the guy, I was just scared. So, now, I just stay with me.
2) It is always like a flash
Hours before the break-up, everything would be going fine. I would love that person but suddenly I will have a flash. That flash would make me wanna break-up for reasons which I always ignored about him.
3) Sometimes I worry about the other person
I was in a long-distance relationship. I was worried that I wouldn't be able to give him my all, which would mean that he would be upset with me. Therefore, I broke up. (I know my reasons are weird.)
4) I am insecure
What if he stops liking me? What if he finds someone else? What if he breaks up with me? What if I am not beautiful enough for him? These questions again lead to me breaking up with him.
5) There is a guy that I still like
I have loved him since 4 years and yes, I broke up with him too. I couldn't find a fault in him which made me think that he was too perfect.
6) The flash goes once I sleep over it
The next morning I would be back to normal, happy in my relationship.
I have been taking councelling. All I wanted to say through this 'my take' is that commitment phobia is real and if you like a guy/girl with commitment phobia and they suddenly wanna break up then- Do not plead them or tell them that you are gonna change. It's not your fault. It's kinda our fault.
Do tell them to sleep over it. And if their feelings are the same the next morning, break-up. Don't hurt yourself over them.
Really, it's not that we don't like our partners, it's just that we are too scared for both our partners and ourselves. We are highly insecure people.