Why Hot Girls Date Ugly Guys

[Anonymous]

I stumbled upon a question on the site recently about why hot guys date ugly girls, so in response, I wanted to switch the context and write about why hot girls date ugly guys. Though this topic is extremely superficial, I’d be lying if I said a guy’s looks didn’t factor into my dating life.

It would be vain to refer to myself as a “hot girl”, but I do pride myself on the way I present myself. I frequent the gym to stay in shape, I put in the extra effort to perfect my beauty routine, and I dress in styles that best flatter my figure. I think one of the major qualities that factor into the “hot” category is personal maintenance. A naturally beautiful girl who eats fast food all day, wears a sweatsuit, and no makeup will definitely be outshined by the average beauty who puts the time and effort into her appearance for a night out. Beauty is one thing, but “hot” is another.

I won’t lie, I am skeptical of the couples I see that simply don’t match. Whenever I see a beautiful girl with a frumpy-looking guy, my mind starts racing about how he ended up with HER. The older I get, the more often I jump to the conclusion: she’s only with him for his money. How shallow is it to think an unattractive guy only could snag a beauty based on his financial state, but then again, society is one of the biggest contributors to this theory - Hello, Hugh Hefner.

Maybe it’s money, maybe he’s well-endowed - but maybe the real reason isn’t as shallow as you’d think.

Just as some guys tend to prefer the “chill girl” over the “high-maintenance” girl, girls often have their same reasonings. It would be narrow-minded to assume that all hot guys are the same, but from my dating experience, I’ve learned good looks really aren’t the deciding factor. I’ve discovered the two main worries girls have when dating the “hot guy”:

Why Girls Avoid The Hot Guy:

They Must Be A Player

In the same sense that guys are intimidated by the hot girl, we are intimated by the hot guy. With incredible looks, we often jump to the conclusion that he’s a player and bound to break our heart. With every girl in the room drooling over our man, we worry he will eventually give into temptation - or the jealousy and worrying will drive us mad.

They Are High-Maintenance

As females, we put enough pressure on ourselves to look good. As much as we love a great six-pack on a guy, feeling like our body isn’t as tight as his or our appearance isn’t as perfect as his can make us feel insecure. Sometimes a nice little stomach roll can really make us feel at home. Just saying.

Guys often consider a “hot girl” to be conceited or a shallow, but really as females, we just enjoy taking care of ourselves. Fashion is fun, beauty is rewarding, and keeping our bodies in shape makes us feel healthy and beautiful. Appearance isn’t everything, but your personal characteristics and traits are. As lovely as an attractive man is to look at, these are the main traits girls look for in relationships:

What Girls Look For:

Trust

We’ve been hurt. We’ve been cheated on. We’ve dealt with the painful feeling of betrayal and heartbreak. Finding a boyfriend that we can trust to respect our feelings and emotions is the most important.

Personality

We want a guy to make us laugh, to know what to say to brighten our day, and to simply click with us. Sharing the same interests and easy conversations go a lot further than toned arms.

Drive

No, I am not referring to financial success, but a guy that is determined, motivated, and successful is incredibly admirable. He constantly inspire us to be our best self and we love supporting him along the way.

So whether or not you have the genetic makeup of Brad Pitt, when it comes to landing your dream girl, looks aren’t the final factor. Hot girls date ugly guys - and it’s not as shallow as you think.

[Anonymous]

Such a load of crap. My entire life I've only ever seen one hot chick with an ugly guy and of course he just happen to be extremely wealthy.
You know ladies we really aren't as dumb as you think, no matter how much you try and convince us and yourselves, that women are so noble and such great people, we know your just as pathetic as the men you bitch about and denounce.
Trying to convince the world that you aren't extreamly materialistic nowadays, aren't fickle or avoid responsibility, rally against double standards only to relish in them when they are in your favour, expect far more of men then you are willing to bring to the table themselves, detest male ego but cultivate your own, place unrealistic standards on men, say on one hand you like men to be emotional but expect him to be a rock and lose attraction when he is not, tear down each other out of jealousy, spite or just to make yourself feel better, and deem any guy who shows interest that you don't find attractive, creepy or weird.
Time to get over yourselves ladies. You talked about how much better off the world would be if women were in charge and now that you have the opportunity to be equal you can't seem to wait to outdo men in shitty behaviour.
So cut the crap.
Women do want a man who is everything her Disney fantasies dreamed up. Good looking, tall, fit, romantic, considerate, ambitious, have social importance, interesting, smart, cool hobbies, car, and very importantly money. True some women will go for a less attractive guy but almost always because she wants him to worship her which is essentially selfish. Usually only as she gets older and starts to feel her own value drop will she start to consider dating a man who doesn't fit all of these requirements and 'settle'.
So cut the crap trying to convince us and yourselves how awesome women are, it doesn't work. Wishing it so, does not change reality.
If women were so awesome more and more men would be wanting to get married and be in relationships not less and less every year.

So get over yourselves. Time to admit women are just as shitty as men are and that trying to convince the world otherwise is just a useless gesture.

There are a few exceptions on both sides, but they won't be the ones claiming that women are really just misunderstood, even though they behave like children, are actually awesome incarnate.

[CyphorX]

Yep, all the average guy has to look forward to is some 30- 40+ woman who says yes to his proposal over the ticking of her biological clock while trying to hold in her tears because she views him and a bigger loser than the 8 guys who she turned down for marriage in her late teens and early 20's

[Uglyguyhotgf]

Someone mad they scared of women womp womp

[BarbaraP]

Some girls do it because they think they will be treated like gods because of their beauty. Sometimes it's just about power... "if someone like HIM gets the chance to date someone like ME, he will be doing everything I say not to lose me". Sad but true.

[dominiquois]

Yep pretty much

[theegreat017]

What if he's not like that? He may be ugly, but sure he commands something, it may well be the other way around.

[BarbaraP]

@theegreat017 Yeah of course... I was just referring to those guys who will fall into this "trap" and those girls who are so spoiled that they only look for guys who will easily forget themselves to be with them. Obviously the fact that you're not very attractive doesn't mean that you should put up with everything a very demanding girl wants just because she's pretty.

[BarbaraP]

There are guys who are very insecure and value beauty a lot... smart and confident guys will dump this kind of girls in an heartbeat and find someone who respects them

[theegreat017]

But there are also guys that put with 'unattractive' girls, just because these girls got some good attention from the guy. Yes, the guy may be unattractive, but sure he may have some good self-respect and self dignity, moreover, he may also be someone at a high position, but it seems so foolish to like someone on the basis of how they look, because it all fades away with time, and you're left with nothing but to get a divorce.

[Hal2002]

As a man that has been in and out of the dating war for about 34 years minus the 16 years I was married, the hot women that I know that date guys with below average looks. Taking out the ones that are there for the money, are the women that have kids or have reputations where guys will hook up with them but not take them out on dates.

I have watched many hot girls over the years, play guys then get played themselves. Than after a few years they start seeing that they are aging, and they are losing out to younger hot chicks. They grab on to some guy they at one time considered a loser, because they figure he is not going to cheat on them because of his looks and because in most cases this below average guy will do anything to try and make her happy because he has the girl he considered out of his league and he wants to keep her.

I am sure there are a few women that have hooked up with an below average guy, because he was a great guy. But they are the rear exceptions, and not the average result,

[Anonymous]

This MyTake is crap. Most truly hot girls don't REALIZE they're hot. Most of the girls you see strutting around acting like they're too good for anyone are, in fact, average, if not below average, in both looks and personality. Many of the prettiest girls I know are unaware of their beauty and go for average looking guys.

The only people who are unafraid of dating a super attractive person are CONFIDENT and SECURE people. Not every conventionally attractive person is confident and secure (in fact, many aren't). When you see an average or below average looking person with someone super attractive, 9 times out of 10 that person is aware enough of their own worth to realize that just because someone is better looking than you, doesn't make them BETTER than you, nor is the better looking person in a relationship some prize or trophy or whatever.

Of course, you do have the average/below average looking people who can't believe such an attractive person gave them a chance, are constantly afraid of losing such a "prize", and thus would do anything to keep them. That's just sad.

But either way, you're clearly just projecting your own personal issues into this MyTake and trying to pass it off as generally applicable to women as a whole. That was easy to see just from your paragraph about "women" (a. k. a. you) being hurt and cheated on and basically chock-full of daddy issues that makes "us" (a. k. a. you) run into the arms of a "trustworthy" ugly guy (who, by the way, is just as likely to be a piece of crap as a hot guy).

[Anonymous]

"Ocassionaly" this is true. Most of the time hot girls dont date ugly guys , (or at least guys they think are ugly) . I've noticed girls go by tastes more than guys do. If i asked a group of 10 of my girlfriends who are the top 10 attractive people they know in our friend groups, i could get 10 completely different lists with 1-3 guys being in a near consistent place in the top of their lists, and it could even be most of the rest of the guys that girl thinks is hot , half or more of the other girls will think he's ugly or can't see why she finds him attractive.

Meanwhile if you asked guys the same question, a good portion of the list would be the same or similar, and for most of the girls they think are cute , the guy who doesn't have her on his list can usually see why the other guy finds her attractive. With (usually) a way smaller portion of their list being personal tastes that other guys dont see why the person's appealing unless they have them.

It works out better for guys because you could be ugly and a hot girl can still find you attractive, even if most dont. Its a lot less likely to happen the other way around with a hot guy finding an ugly girl attractive.

Also factor in huskey and handsome guys. Depending on the girl, they can be considered monstrous or handsome. But the girl equivalent of them isn't looked at that way (usually) their looked at as unnattractive.

Also I've seen hot girls say "looks fade , and then what?" So that could be a reason in cases.

Also adding in social status and money. Those are other reasons.

Or like i mentioned before, which i think happens more is, "she" doesn't think he's ugly.

[AleDeEurope]

So an attractive guy can't be trusting, have a great personality, and be ambitious? Why is a hot guy always portrayed as a player? Are all hot girls sluts? No. So not all hot guys are players.

You girls don't know what you may be missing when you just assume that because he's hot, he's a player.

I get the point of your Take, but you really think if she didn't stereotype the hot guy as a player, if he had the traits of that ugly dude she's dating, she won't go for the hot guy? Of course every girl will choose a hot guy with a good personality over an ugly guy with a good personality. The reason they chose the ugly guy is either because she stupidly assume all hot guys are players, or because she's lazy and just settled down with the first guy that treated her nicely.

And this same thing applies to guys, I directed it to girls cause that's who the "hot" person was in this Take.
And to clarify again, I don't think this is a bad Take.

[ccp16]

I think it is really sad how many guys are being so. bitter here... No wonder you don't get 'hot girls'!

I work in bridal registry, so I work with newly engaged couples all the time- usually in their mid to late 20s. I can not count how many times I saw mismatched attractiveness in couples! It happens way more often than you think, and in both directions ie. sometimes it is the hot guy with the average girl.

I think a lot of the guys on here are being so bitter because they are both ugly inside AND out, and immature for it. I know of at least two of my close female friends who I would consider very beautiful/her asked out on almost a weekly basis. But they hate the guys who do ask them out! They tend to be superficial and rude. Both are currently dating someone I would consider below them in looks, and neither are rich!

Basically what I am trying to say is that confidence, humor and being a decent person can override looks way more than you think!

[Heilelliotrodger]

You truly are stupid aren't you?

[dominiquois]

Its several reasons not all of them are noble either. Sure pretty girls might date an uglier guy for great personality or moral values. Some pretty girls are shallow some are not. It really depends.
Some pretty girls will actually date an ugly guy to have a sort of personal worshipper. Hot guys wouldn't give nearly as much praise to the beautiful girl than the ugly guy would because hot guys are gorgeous too and probably just as vain as the pretty girl. The chances are that the uglier you are the more you'll worship your good-looking partner. Sorry but that's what it is.
The ugly guy will appreciate her more and are much more likely to be loyal because they'll probably never get someone as good as her. The pretty girl is probably tired of being treated like a disposable by hotter guys so they seek out guys they're sure will cherish them.

[theegreat017]

That seems rather shallow, but it may be true.

[dominiquois]

It is true for a lot of girls

[CoolSky01]

Most of what you said applies to movies not real life, are you seriously telling me evvery girl has been hurt, and heartbroken in the past? i doubt it, also hot girls who know they're hot go for hot guys... as for maintenance its really irrelevant, since guys are usually the main money makers they often want a girl that doesn't cost a lot but girls on the other hand dont have to worry about supporting their guy finanacially cause he won't leave if you dont make 100k+ a year.

Looks wise a pretty face always wins, sure no one is gonna go for fatties but if your body is pretty average and have a tummy but really beautiful i wouldn't care less about how not tonned your body is in fact no guy does and if he does he has some issues, basically i think why hot girls go with unattractive guys is because :

1- The guy is rich and can support her
2- she is not as hot nor attractive as she thinks

[Mistnigqa808]

LMAO dont any hot girls date neckbeards 99% of the time IRL + all she sees is "$$$" in that guy cf.girlsaskguys.com/.../...d-9889-699b3ff2456c.jpg i mean just look at her face >_<

[dominiquois]

That's Bar Refaeli it was for a Go Daddy commercial. She even said herself kissing him was rather gross but to him obviously it was heaven because she's so gorgeous.

[theegreat017]

@dominiquois 'gross'? Wow, so what's this take about then?

[dominiquois]

I don't know I think this myTake just used her picture. In real life that picture comes from a commercial with the supermodel who has to do that kiss over 60 times to film it. In an interview she subtly expressed her disgust with it.

[hazoplmeught]

@dominiquois what is the name of the interview and commerical

[dominiquois]

The interview was one I read a long time ago so I couldn't even begin to tell you where to find it.
This is the commercial
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mr857fAYtnA

[Mistnigqa808]

@hazoplmeught "The interview was one I read a long time ago so I couldn't even begin to tell you where to find it.
This is the commercial https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mr857fAYtnA " = what she said

[hazoplmeught]

@dominiquois thanks

[dominiquois]

No problem :P

[Anonymous]

I feel like everyone on here is a little bitter: sometimes a hot girl just wants to be with a guy, no matter his looks. Sometimes they might not have set out to be romantically attracted to each other but when they get talking to each other and they become closer they realise that they don't care about each other's looks. That's what happened with my friend. She was 9-10 and after her grandma died she became friends with a guy who was a solid five. When she first started talking to him she said she'd never date him because his ugly... Or she said something like that. But now they've been together for a year and a half. Honestly you guys over think this, sometimes it just happens.

[Anonymous]

Good take! I'm dating someone who isn't a typical "hot" guy. One of his friends came up to me and said "You're not really seeing him are you?" I asked why and he said "Because you're hot and he's ugly" =/ .. I didn't tell my boyfriend he said that but now I don't like that friend. The thing is, up to yet, my boyfriend has treated me better than any other boyfriend has, he's usually very nice and has led an interesting life. Looks don't matter much me to anymore. I've been treated like crap in the past, so I was very defensive in the beginning and he's been understanding of that and patient (even though it's drove him mad sometimes!) Bottom line is, if they have a great personality, that is much more important to me.

[Cjanes]

To each his own. I date whom I find attractive. However both looks and personality affect your attractiveness. I say looks are 50% and personality is 50%. Honestly if a guy looks like Channing Tatum he's going to have an advantage over the average joe. However an average guy with a good personality will still be more attractive to me then a super hot douchebag.
Both men and women have shallow tendencies but that's okay

[YourFutureEx]

Why girls date below average (not ugly, literally) guys?

Because they
●Dared to approach them
●They have awesome personality
●They have enough money an average guy has

If you're a player / high maintenance / ripped, it won't repel girls.

[EnglishArtsteacher]

You mean they "dared to approach them" WITH money.

[YourFutureEx]

@EnglishArtsteacher with 'enough' money to afford a home, clothes and food.

Would you want to spend your life with a beggar?

You just don't need Aston Martin to catch a hot girl.

[EnglishArtsteacher]

@YourFutureEx There is a huge difference between a "beggar" and someone who is filthy rich. You used a major hyperbole there.

Actually, I would spend time with a beggar. But let's be realistic-These women don't JUST want "stability", they want guys to shower them with gifts every day. Nearly every woman under 30 is a gold-digger.

[YourFutureEx]

@EnglishArtsteacher That's so unfortunate for you and the people who live there in your country. Because where I live, girls want their guy to have just a job at most.
Yeah, you need to be super rich if you want to fuck 5-6 new girls every month.

[EnglishArtsteacher]

@YourFutureEx Unfortunately, young women here in the United States are materialistic.

[YourFutureEx]

@EnglishArtsteacher I can understand :/

[CBryan]

This is a tough pill to swallow considering that most girls will only start looking for those characteristics if its a guy she could be interested in first, because of his looks. I can say that from personal experience.
It's like how they go shopping for shoes. They usually only try on the ones they think are really cute. They normally don't pick out ugly shoes with the hopes that they will provide comfort and support, in reality, most girls will put up with pain and blisters, as long as the shoes look cute...

[kareenakapur]

If they are on sale and you really need new shoes, then you might try the "ugly" shoes on and find out that they are better than you expected though.

[CBryan]

@kareenakapur yeah.. . but.
Girls don't go for guys who are "on the sale rack", and they don't really need a new guy. We're talking idealistically here ;)

[kareenakapur]

A lot of the guys I go for aren't necessarily the "hot" guys. Usually they start off as friends, and the more I get to know his personality, the hotter he seems to me.

[huntme]

Haha.. Ladies.. You just thought about how many ugly guys you’ve seen in your life eh. The truth is those ones were simply not your type, most of those guys didn’t get half a second of your gaze. Well, well, I must say that those are just your preferences, all you can do is not see yourselves with them. Do you know how many other ladies are dying to see themselves with them? Think about it, men are the treasure! Getting a hang of it yet? Ever walked past a very beautiful woman, and when you see her husband or boyfriend you ask “What in heaven’s name are they doing together?” Yep, that has happened to me too as well. You just can’t seem to understand how beautiful ladies end up with some guy that you don’t think is worth it.

[Dulcedulcexoxo]

lol, this is true. Its not necessarily the best decision for women to make anyways since so many women report not being physically attracted to their spouse and the sex stops , communication.. etc I think women need to look for physical attraction including all these traits. May be rare but its worth looking for.

[vishna]

I don't think I'm hot, but I've dated people that my friends thought were.. not so cute compared to me. And the things you listed still applied.

Hot young guys are often conceited and have high expectations.

I'd rather have someone who is driven, trustworthy, and likes me for who I am even if it means he isn't a 'hot' guy.

[Tanuron]

wut? Dont think I ever seen a "hot girl" with what people define as an ugly guy. This actually exsist? Well except in my own case perhaps, since im butt ugly and certainly everyone I been with was good looking compared to me, lol.

Seen the typical opposite a lot though, but ya I can't think of any couple ever seen in real life that yeah was like that, except myself again I guess.

[Anonymous]

as a not so attractive guy who has dated very hot girls before, i can say that this take is complete bullshit. hot girls date ugly guys for a variety of reasons, but the ones you listed (hot guys being high maintenence, ugly guys being trustworth) are very rare. if you see a hot girl dating an ugly guy, it's because she doesn't see him as an ugly. to her, she is just a guy that she likes romantically who happens to not be very good-looking. if a guy can cause a girl to feel attraction for him, his looks won't get in the way of that. the idea that people only date people on the same level of attractiveness as them is hollywood stuff. by the way, there are ugly guys who cheat on hot girls too. if they're the type of guy who cheats, they could just cheat with another hot girl

[CyphorX]

actually there have been studies done, people do tend to date at their own level, exceptions being rare, one exception being area's where the male/female ratio being off, like say a small town where women outnumber men 2-1 or more women become less picky, the same also works in reverse. like in my city more single men than women so its the men forced to be less picky. thats why women do much better in online dating. usually way more men on those sites than women.

[Opinion Owner]

well studies are pretty worthless when they conflict with what i've observed and experienced in real life, aren't they?

[inneedofaname]

Dude. Stop it. You are a kid.

[Opinion Owner]

incidentally, CyphorX, why are you adressing your comment to me and not the take owner? she's the one who brought up the discussion of hot girls dating ugly guys. i just explained why they do it. what you said has more relevance to her post than mine

[ConsultantIsBack]

Many Hot guys have the desirable traits you described. I think the case is actually average girls end up with average guys.

[sparkly-crystal]

Go to Silicon Valley all the smoking hot chicks are marrying ugly nerds.

[DBAOracle]

@sparkly-crystal And why's that a problem? Some chicks are hot and value intelligence a lot.

[sparkly-crystal]

@DBAOracle never said it was

[DBAOracle]

@sparkly-crystal Alright, I apologize I misunderstood you then.

[BangBadBxtches]

@sparkly-crystal Because those are gold diggers silly, those nerds make more than everyone on this site in a year.

[ConsultantIsBack]

@sparkly-crystal I lived in silicon valley, moved away recently. That's not really true from what I recall

[zagor]

@sparkly-crystal Hardly. There are a lot more guys than girls in Silicon Valley. Unless you're at a senior center.

[ConsultantIsBack]

@zagor This is true

[isthatarose]

@sparkly-crystal they are with them for money. Duh

[ConsultantIsBack]

@isthatarose I lived in silicon valley, the dating scene is so interesting. Like all the hot girls leave silicon valley (the south SF bay area) and go up to San Francisco. Because in silicon valley it's mainly nerdy dudes, and a very skewed ratio between guys and girls.

[sparkly-crystal]

I have been there several times and seen the highest ratio of hot chicks with nerds. My brother-in-law is a software engineer there and all of his Indian coworkers are married to hot women.

[ConsultantIsBack]

@sparkly-crystal well I lived there, maybe our definition of hot girl is different

[CyphorX]

Or maybe it's just a comparison, like if the nerdy guy is a 4 but he lands a 7 she seems like a 9 or a 10 standing next to him based on the disparity. sort of like the hottest girl from Mudlick Kentucky who all her life was viewed as a 10 moving to LA or Miami finding herself now being viewed as a 6.

[ConsultantIsBack]

@CyphorX Hahaha 10/10 wisdom right there man

[Love-travel]

@sparkly-crystal lived in sa jose you are right

[ConsultantIsBack]

@Love-travel read @CyphorX 's comment for the insight to clear it up

[Love-travel]

well software engineers there probably make six figures so of course they are with hot women.

[ArtDent]

Ha I live in Silicon Valley and they women you're talking about are really boring and lame.

[KRIEL55]

great take! its all so true. i mean we all have different types but honestly, when i see a guy who is too into fashion and too into working out, im automatically just like no. dont want a guy who's obsessed with himself and will expect me to obsess over him as well. just not happening.