5 Reasons Why I Don't Care If a Guy Lives With His Parents

[Hannah591]

Men everywhere seem to believe that their possessions and how much money they have/earn is what attracts women and keeps them. Although this is true for a minority of women, the majority of women look for enjoyable personality traits and they're looking for someone to love and for someone to love them equally.

The men who believe that all women are materialistic often are embarrassed to admit that they live with their parents and/or think a woman will not want to date them because they still live with their parents. I feel that this shouldn't be the case so men, have no fear. I wanted to share with you that there are many women who do not care and to back this up, I'm sharing some reasons behind it.

1. Get to develop a relationship with parents

If you move out with someone straight away and live in their own house, you would rarely, if ever see their parents. Having a good relationship with his parents always helps so if my partner lives with their parents, it's easier and quicker for me to establish a relationship with them. It's also cute when they bring out the baby photos!

2. It's difficult to move out alone

As a 21 year old that also lives with her parents, I know how hard it is to get on the property ladder. It's even harder if you don't want to rent. Nowadays, it's not a shock for 30 year olds to buy their first house. I'm not going to expect the guy I date to have all his life goals completed and be totally stable with a house! It takes hard work, time and money.

3. Not materialistic

Anyone who knows me here know that I feel strongly about genuine equality (not that feminist stuff with double standards) and I have no interest in what a guy owns (unless he has a next gen console, then we'll be playing on that for some time!). Materialism isn't in my DNA. I've dated guys who live with their parents, are jobless and have no car. It's about love not their possessions.

4. Disposable income

If neither of us are paying high rent for a place, as well as all the bills, we both save money which can be used (equally) for days out together, creating memories, before taking the plunge and saving for a place.

5. Dating him for who he is

The guy will know you're dating him for who he is if you date him before he's moved out. Part of being in a relationship is being supportive and often encouraging them when they're way behind achieving their goals. When he eventually achieves them, he will look back and remember that she was there before he became successful.

---

There are downsides for a partner to still be living with their parents but personally, they don't bother me. You can still have a loving, passionate and intimate relationship with someone who lives with their parents.

Guys, don't be embarrassed or ashamed about living with your parents. A woman can and will still love you for who you are, which is what love is all about!

[oddwaffle]

This is a good take because real data support the idea of staying in your parents house longer.

Wages have been stagnant since 89 with male median wage going up at 0.4%. Housing prices in cities almost doubled and even tripled. All this are inflation adjusted. Also, if you don't have a degree then your wage fell to 80% of what your parents made.

Cell phone bills and Internet bills are the new costs of living you have to pay while your parents didn't.

So you make the same amount of wage as you parents while you have to pay more for your house and there is a $100ish cut in your monthly income because of the new stuff you need like cell phones and Internet. You also have to pay for a 30kish college degree debt. I am surprised that people can still get out of their parents house!

I once met a guy who lives with his parents. He has no house and no car and he is a professional in his early 30s. What's special about him is that he has no debt at all. He paid all his college debt and has 60k invested. He wouldn't be able to do all that if he lived alone in a rented place and he wouldn't be able to borrow enough for a tiny house in the city he work.

[vishna]

I don't care if a guy lives at home because I'm 21, in debt from student loans, have no car, have a year to get my B. S., and live with my mom during the summer.

And I would obviously more than happy to date someone in my own situation.

Lets be broke but working for the future!

[Jujulius]

Lol I know right I pay $1160 for my apt I'm in school & broke to the bone. However I still try my best to put away enough for movie night with my wonderful lady. :)

[Jujulius]

Not going to lie though it's difficult.

[Hannah591]

@Jujulius All you need to do is pay a few dollars a month for Netflix - movie nights sorted. :)

[Jujulius]

We do have Netflix but it's good for both of us at least once a month to eat out and see a movie.

[SaleenMustang13]

Here's a different take and maybe will cause some bad comments on me but I've got to be honest. I have my own place as well as go and stay with my parents... lately more with them then by myself (but that's why it's by myself which I'm fine with but being alone all the time isn't fun). So coming from my situation I worry about the person I'm dating when we go to my parents house they'll very quickly change from focusing on a us and a future, to (which I've seen this more times then I care to admit) to them change to the fact that they know what I come from and what I'm able to do for her. I've had the most difficult time throughout my life finding a girl who truly wants me for me and not my connections or what color my credit card is. I don't mean to put anyone down and I'm sure there are more guys that are in this situation that then will admit which is fine but I feel they need to see a response to this I've learned a way now to weed it out mostly... honestly though the only girl I think truly wanted me for me was when we built a "us" from a friendship and leaving the financials out of it. Once money came into it it became a BIg problem not right away but once they get used to being able to spend, and I can't speak for all guys but I want a family of my own eventually so after they end up spending unrealistic money I'll cut the funds because at that point it's not about us anymore and at that point Midas well kiss the relationship goodbye no matter how much you love another... no matter if your heart was in the right place... in my experience it doesn't matter. I'd appreciate any positive advice. Keep in mind there is quite a bit I'm not saying and my lifestyle is far from normal. The other big issue I have is actually called "white knights syndrome" I know it I just can't seem to fix that about me, even if it's only a project for me and no original feelings involved. However that last situation was a very loving and honest 3 year relationship we ended just because the distance between us was to far so we grew apart...

[MikeGaultier]

Very true, and applies to women as well. I'm lucky enough to have dated both women who live on their own, and women who live with their parents. I preferred the latter. Not trying to steal the thunder, but here's why I prefer dating women who live with their parents, and intend on moving out when they are established.

1) Tend to be more goal oriented: Most of them were seeking higher education, and knew they couldn't afford it if they were to focus on paying rent.

2) Family time: It's easier to plan family days when you're constantly around the family. More importantly, the family gets to know you a lot better, and often are eager to have you over.

3) Disposable income: Pretty much covered in your post. First girl I dated had a full time job, but had to pay rent, utilities, etc. She could never afford to go out. My last girlfriend lived with her parents. We could both afford to go out, and still managed to save money.

4) Can be more enjoyable: Let's face it, things can get boring when you've spent months alone with a person. It's always nice to have her parents around to make suggestions, get conversations started, etc.

[Azara]

I agree. I also feel I can trust a guy much better wrenches close and open with his family.

[BelleGirl21]

Good take. I think there are 2 kinds of guys who live with their parents, the kind you described who have a job and goals and seem to contribute to the family and household, which are amazing. And the kind who yell at their mom to bring more Cheetos to the basement and oh by the way wash my clothes which suck.

[Hannah591]

Yeah, I like the first amazing ones :P

[Toad-1]

Cheetos? No bring me cheeze its! 😡

[BelleGirl21]

@Toad-1 lolol well then that's fine 😉

[Jujulius]

If a guy has no respect for his mom that's a key sign. I love my mom and because k love & respect her I don't want to burden her she's done enough for me. I want to pay back both my parents for everything they've done raising me. Any guy who orders his mom around like a maid has no respect for women clearly.

[Hannah591]

@Jujulius That's nice of you.

[BelleGirl21]

@Jujulius so true. You sound great.

[Jujulius]

I have my moments but I do okay lol. My girlfriend's perfect I'm just trying to keep up.

[Trotters]

Thank you I really needed to hear/know this as this is me. I'm the guy who works full time, applied for promotion at work, contribute to finances & chores etc, but I was thinking this only yesterday & today... how spooky that I should randomly see this mytake, because I now feel a little better & feared this would be a dealbreaker for most girls. I kept thinking do I really need to have a house to get a gf? You've given me a little hope, but yes I am saving for my own place but it isn't gonna happen anytime soon ;-(

[Hannah591]

I'm glad this helped you! When you date women, let them know that you live with your parents but you contribute and work full time. Tell them you just haven't found the right girl to move out with yet as it's a big decision. I'm sure they'd understand and they can respect how messed up the economy is right now. It's normal nowadays for guys to leave home as late as their 40s.

[Trotters]

Hmmmm I hope you're right I have a feeling an ex dumped me because of this reason but didn't actually give me that as a reason ;-(

[Hannah591]

It might have bothered her but it doesn't bother every woman, remember that.

[thecd1979]

Keep on going and doing what your doing and the day will come when you have your own place. Ultimately money and where you live should not be all that a women cares about, but any relationship is going to be better when you have your own privacy and don’t have to navigate around mom and dad in the kitchen or elsewhere. The right kind of women is going to help you work towards your goals and understand the situation your in.

[ManOnFire]

Not a bad Take. Our mom never pressured us to move out because of how hard it is in these times to live on your own, and she even welcomes us to still live with her anytime we want or need.

However, you're incorrect with these statements: "Men everywhere seem to believe that their possessions and how much money they have/earn is what attracts women and keeps them... The men who believe that all women are materialistic often are embarrassed to admit that they live with their parents and/or think a woman will not want to date them because they still live with their parents."
- Men think that for a reason. Women often do seek men with money and status. And a man can/will still think women are materialistic even if he DOES have his own place and not living with his parents. You don't have to still live at home to know that more than just a few women are focused on possessions and money.

[thecd1979]

Not such a bad thing from graduating high school to your later twenties while your getting your education and working your way up in your career field. It’s tough out there and everything is expensive, true enough, but you gotta make the move sometime.. Once you turn 30 at the latest, you should have your shit together and enough money saved up by then to move out and get a place of your own. It’s gonna get old being a grown man or woman and not having your own privacy and hoping mom and dad will be out for the evening so you and your significant other can have some alone time, not to mention the nagging and complaining that mom and dad will inevitably do. It will take its toll on a relationship, you need have your own place and things.

[Azara]

It's cultural. Many plAces it's normal for extended families to live together. Many people don't have the option. Houses are a huge waste of valuable resource.

[thecd1979]

@Azara I can imagine it's normal in some places for families to live together. Where I come from if your over thirty and living with mom and dad there's a problem and people are going to be asking whats going on and why your still living at home. Most often the people living at home around here are still there because they don't want to grow up and take on adult responsibilities. They usually just care about having fun, partying and hanging out. Leaving the nest and flapping your wings is something that is expected out of grown adults here. Not to judge the people in other places that stay living at home, if it works for them and their happy then good to go, it's defiitley not the norm around here. Thats hard for me to wrap my head that being the norm.

[Azara]

It's the norm in many. Cultures. Living at home means more responsibilities not fewer. I don't know if you're from the United States but if so that could help explain why you're having diffculty wrapping your head around how other people live... Americans tend to be solipsistic. :)

[thecd1979]

@Azara Yes I am an American from a small Texas town. Where are you from then?

[ilostmynewunicorn]

I think when someone complains about someone else living with their parents, the issue isn't really whether or not that person is living with their parents.

The real question is, are you taking risks, striving to get economically independent and learning, experimenting, and taking what you want from life, or are you scared, not willing or not ambitious enough to chase your dreams and passions?

Most people I know that live with their parents don't live with them for choice. And not one of them has children to say "Yea, you know, I would try to get a job or to start a business, but I need to save money for my children, and I don't have time for myself yada yada yada". There are those people who are still studying or getting ready, but then there are those who are just so safe wasting someone else's money that they don't want to venture out on their own.

[noneoftheabove]

yeah I've been debating it in my head for a long time why am i still at home but i have a long term plan. im saving as much money as i can so i can move out.

[Hannah591]

@noneoftheabove Good job, keep it up and you'll be able to move out! It's just harder for our generation.

[noneoftheabove]

yeah it definitely is. weve been shaftes by the previous generations. my advice if you're still at home save as much money as you can. it will beneft you in the long term @Hannah591

[mrsingle]

I really find girls run when they hear guys live with their parents. Why, because it means they either are homebodies or are having money troubles, both reasons sound bad for a girl looking for serious relationships and wanting to move out, they don't want to be supporting anyone, so they look for someone financially stable and independant.
I do agree the economy is tough now, but then some people do make it so then everyone is expected to figure it out.

Back to original question, ok so you say living with his parents alone isn't bad. If he lives with his parents but isn't working, does that mean end of the relationship?

[Hannah591]

Some girls do like the easier option. They don't want money troubles but for me, it's love that makes me want to be in a relationship and I plan to work hard for both of us in the relationship so we could support each other.

No, as long as he had plans to get a job and is actively trying to get one.

[mrsingle]

What if someone is temporarily disabled and getting social security?

[thecd1979]

If a guy is living at home with his parents because he’s saving money, going to school and working towards his goals that’s one thing. It’s another thing if a guy is living at home because he doesn’t want bills to pay or responsibilities, can’t hold onto job and doesn’t want to work, then that’s another story and any decent self respecting woman should want to steer clear of that kind of guy.

[mrsingle]

@thecd1979 if I'm unable to work due to a disability and getting SSI and live with my parents girls will never love me? That's harsh, and besides working I'm normal otherwise. I don't want to stay here but without a second income I can't afford to move out. That's why I ask I'm kind of in between situations but not my fault.

[thecd1979]

Well thats a different scenario all together. The right women will understand. I can imagine that can be a tough sell. It’s tough out here. My dad gets SSI and he barely scrapes by in a little one bedroom apartment, so I know it’s not much that you are getting every month.

[mrsingle]

@thecd1979 there is hope I could get off it, but I've got bad anxiety and trying to rid that to work isn't easy, and all the while life is passing me by and I'm upset being alone in life.

[thecd1979]

Life is only passing you by if you let it. It’s not all doom and gloom being single. You gotta make your own happiness, no one else can do that for you. If your not happy single, you won’t be happy taken. True happiness comes from within. Make the best of things, life is too short to be stressing and not being happy.

[mrsingle]

@thecd1979 I've passed that "be happy with yourself", point, it comes down to if nobody likes you it's a lonely life. I used to like myself and that's half the reason I'm alone nobody likes me. I'm not gonna celebrate that and cheer "yay I'm alone!" Some people like to be alone but not me, I want to share my life and experiences with someone, not brag to myself all day I did something.

[Jujulius]

I think it depends where you live to be honest. I'm not a big fan of my city but Los Angeles girls from my experience are highly materialistic. When I finish school I am out of here people party too much & cops are crazy here.

[ccp16]

Not bad, especially for someone who lives at home and has not even attempted dating sin e moving back home. I actually really value independence and can't wait to move out (hopefully this fall!) but ya... student loans suck... But I'd actually rather scrape by or pick up a second job than live at home... which is weird because I have a very healthy relationship with my parents, I hardly even see them as I work nights and they work days. They give me total freedom (except no girls, not even my exes during school could spend the night in the summers). I think half of it is the area I live in, which is heavily family oriented suburb setting, and I am a city boy 100%

[MandyRuth]

Totally agree! It always seems like a double standard when it comes to guys living at home; why is it socially acceptable for a girl to live at home, but not a guy?

[ManOnFire]

@MandyRuth It's the same case with grown men who are still virgins. It's more stigmatized for them than it is for women virgins.

[oldanddecrepid]

I kinda feel sorry for the younger generation in the sense that a lot of the good paying jobs are still taken up by the older crowd which forces them to take a lower paying job and have to live at home.

It is sad to see the younger generation taking University and College and have to take a job flipping burgers for years until something comes along. It is unfortunate because the cost of living does not seem to reflect the lack of high end jobs that are out there anymore.

[vishna]

It sucks, I come home from college, and all the older people have taken the entrance level jobs like sales associate or waitress. It's competitive because I have a few summers under my belt and some people have 10 years.

[oldanddecrepid]

@vishna That does suck! I know I have been steering my daughter to work towards a self employed type situation rather than rely on being provided a job when she finishes college or university.

[vishna]

That's a really smart move. Honestly, graduate school/college is only really worth it for a few people it seems.

[MrCasanova]

You need to care, at some point, especially when he's 36 and wondering why is he still at home, in that basement or some other room, I left out t 23, old enough
but I was looking after my then living grandmother, she has passed on, May God rest her soul. But not a big deal right now, but later on, it will be.

[thecd1979]

I agree that there comes a time where someone needs to care. I see it like, by the time anyone reaches 30 they need to start getting really serious about moving out, if they’re still living at home. It’s a valid question any smart level headed women (especially one that has her own place) is going to ask why a guy that is in their 30’s is still living at home. A guy that’s fresh out of high school, early twenties that’s no biggie, it’s very common for a guy that age to be living at home while they go to school and work. When your in your 30’s you need to start making something happen to get out.

[YourFutureEx]

Yay!
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[Hannah591]

Aw that's cute!

[YourFutureEx]

So was the take. Millions of people in Asia have joint family and are living their life happily.

[objob94]

I live in London, there's no way I'm renting and making someone else richer. I'm 21 and save £1000-1200 a month.

Girls are quite attracted to me because they know I'm good with money, it's one of my assets tbh, anything financial, I'm your man.

If all goes to plan, career wise and savings wise, I'll have enough to put down a deposit in 48 months :)

[SuitAndTie]

This is refreshing. Here in London it's mighty difficult to get on the property ladder. Not to mention the increase in deposit needed every year. I'd rather just save up for a property of my own once and for all instead of wasting my money on rent.

[Hannah591]

Good idea! Best to spend money investing in something you will eventually own. Rent is wasted money.

[xXiTacoXx]

As long as a guy isn't being a mooch and has goals then it shouldn't matter if he's living with his parents or not. Plus, homes and apartments are expensive.

[bloodmountain1990]

Great take. I've been living on my own since last August but I don't judge because the economy is tough. It took me a year after I graduated college to get my first real career.

Shit happens too. People get laid off, lose jobs, etc and they just have to live with their parents for the time being.

[Toad-1]

Im 32 and still live with the parents. It is definitely an insecurity i have and don't disclose to people often. But it would certainly be nice to meet a woman who understands that its been difficult for me and im trying to get out of here

[Hannah591]

I'm sure you'll find someone soon who you can move out with when the time is right. :)

[MyUsernameRules]

You sound like a very good girl. Whichever guy you'll be end up with will be a very lucky man!

[MyUsernameRules]

Great take though.

[Hannah591]

Thank-you! :D

[phil2]

I didn't but my first house with my husband until almost 30. But I would prefer the guy living in an apartment than his parents. With that said I did live with his parents for four months and it was alright.