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Why You Should Man Up and Pay For the First Date (Page 2)
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"I have other options"
"I want you to impress me"
"I'm worth more than money"
"You're too stressful"
LOL. Entitled much? This is why most men don't even bother with women anymore, they just expect things to be handed to them because they're "Worth it" or because they need to be "Impressed."
I don't care about impressing anyone, if you want to be impressed go date Daddy Warbucks, Annie.
As for being worth it? How the fuck do I know you're worth it if it's the first date. At the most I'm paying for coffee and/or a drink and that's it. If there's a second date then maybe it'll be a step up but y'all need to build a bridge and get over yourself. No one's entitled.
I don't mess with men because I know they won't treat me right
Aaaaw. I loved Annie as a child because I looked just like her and always hoped some nice man would adopt me. Thank you for reinforcing my fantasies
You'd know I was worth it if you met me in person. There's no way to prove it over the internet, and frankly no use
On the first date with my boyfriend I told him that since he already mustered up the courage to ask me out the least I could do in return is to take care of the bill. He got extra brownie points for respecting my wish and letting me and not trying to prove his masculinity by conforming to 1950s gender roles. A real man knows he's a real man and doesn't need to prove his masculinity with ridiculous things like that.
Oh, he also turned out to be the most generous and awesome boyfriend I ever had.
That's great for you. I'm glad you found someone who can make you happy. If you want to pay for the date, I don't see anything wrong with your decision
But are you not a gold digger if you're broke and only go out when someone else pays? That's the definition of gold digger. You then call women who can ACTUALLY afford nice things... gold diggers rofl. Surely if they have that stuff, they don't need a man's money.
Dafuq is that logic lol?
So you had a stressful childhood, can I ask if you had a father figure growing up?
No because I graciously thank my friends for taking me out. I mostly get free drinks from the club anyway because the owner has a thing for me. My friends pay when it's slow and he's not giving out anything free. Half the time I don't even drink. A night out costs me $5.
No woman who buys her own things is a gold digger. That's the opposite of a gold digger because they've earned what they've bought
I didn't know my father until I was fifteen. I lived with him for three years. He was just as worthless of a piece of shut as my mother. I haven't talked to him in three years or her in six. I moved halfway across the country to get away from them. Best thing I ever did for myself. I only have three relatives that I'm on speaking terms with
"No woman who buys her own things is a gold digger. That's the opposite of a gold digger because they've earned what they've bought"
But you just further proved that you aren't earning things. You just added fuel to the argument that you're taking advantage of people for free stuff.
@tyber1
I appreciate and accept gifts from people. They know I won't be able to pay them back, but give to me anyway because they appreciate me. I never ask for charity. My friends give it to me because they're decent people and understand how hard I work (we're all coworkers, so I make their jobs easier for them).
Everything I have is because I've earned it. I'm broke because all of my money goes towards bills to keep myself off the streets
I've never been on a date because I'm not going to take advantage of guys I know I'm not compatible with. I'm definitely not a gold digger
''they appreciate me'' with your attitude i doubt it. They probably think you are mentally disabled.
@Jamesol1
*Reinforcing my belief *
They tell me a the time how brilliant I am, so I'm pretty sure they don't think I'm mentally retarded
nope... sorry princess but im done pretending women should have special treatment, if she isn't willing to pay half on the first date then I won't be there.
Why should I pay when I have no idea we will click afterwards?
Im so sick of this selective equality BS, and have been much more successful dating wise since I've taken this stance.
I prefer traditional gender roles
I'd only agree to go out with a guy I clicked with. I've only ever clicked with one guy, and I knew he was special when I saw him standing on the sidewalk
You absolutely shouldn't pretend anything. If you don't believe it, then don't do it
"I agree that splitting is appropriate after the first date, but I'm just not an egalitarian when it comes to the first. A first date is special, so it deserves some special treatment."
I agree which is why I always make the woman pay the whole bill on the first date. It's special and she's gotta impress me, remember?
If you're the shy, submissive type who likes dominating women who prefer to make the first move, go for it. I'm not gonna stop you because I'm not going to be the one asking you out
holy shit lol. i gotta do more puzzles
@BertMacklinFBI O
Oh I love puzzles! Sudoku and Tetris are my favorites. I used to have four different versions of Jigsaw puzzles of the Norshwanstein (so?) Castle in Germany. One of them was 3-D!
Idonthaveausername i only ever played tetris and did a few jigsaw puzzles. i gotta up my game you seem legit at this.
@Idonthaveausername... anon here never said anything about the girl approaching him?
and besides, even if she did, maybe the girl approaching anon here just doesn't care about gender roles and wants to get her crush? What's with the all the horrible clichés?
@Idonthaveausername, except I'm neither shy nor submissive. My dominance and assertiveness is exactly the reason why I don't put up with entitled princesses like you who try to tell me what I should or should not do in order to be considered manly in your eyes. I don't give a damn.
Have fun searching for a chump willing to cater to your 'expectations'...
I'm not an entitled princess. Everything I have is because I earned it
I would love for a man to treat me like a queen. I'd treat him like a king in return
I'm happy being single. It's going to take a lot more than a chump to convince me he'd be able to improve my life
You want somewhere nice that is not expensive but still refuse to pay for what you order. Your excuse is because you live on your own and bay all your bills yourself. News flash a lot of people live on their own and pay all their bills themselves. That excuse is invalid. You claim not tp be a gold digger but expect the guy to pay on the first date, have bartender givibg you drinks for free and if not then your friends pay for them for you, you have coworkers buying you lunch etc. That is a gold digger whether you believe it or not. You say the person who does the asking out should pay but refuse to ask anyone out because you are hzppy being single means you expe t tge guy to pay. Why is it rude if he won't pay for for you on a first date? Do not use the excuse of him asking you out brcause you refuse to ask anyone out. Since you want him to prove how he would improve your life you should prove to him how you woukd improve his life at the same time and not after the first date.
Gold diggers are girls who take advantage of people for their money and expect people to pay for luxuries for them. I don't expect my friends to take me out--they take me out because they want to. I don't expect the bartenders to give me drinks--I get free drinks from the owner and my friends because they want to give it to me. I don't expect my coworkers to buy me lunch--they bring or buy me lunch because they appreciate me. And I always thank people who give me free things that I don't ask for. I am not a gold-digger.
I am happy being single. There is nothing wrong with that. I have standards that I'm not willing to compromise on
I agree that women should impress men as well. I would show him respect and how I could improve his life if I ever wanted to go out with a guy. That would have been covered before I agreed to go on a date with him
I wonder what would happen if I were to write a MyTake on "Why a woman should woman up and put out on a first date" and came up with all sorts of ridiculous arguments to rationalize it, such as "I'm worth more than your virginity", "you should impress me" and "you're paranoid if you think men just use you for sex."
Wanna bet I'd be called a sexist, chauvinist pig?
You sexist, chauvinist pig!
(I meant that as a compliment)
Go ahead. Nobody is stopping you and you're entitled to your own opinion. I'd enjoy reading a sensible take on that
I actually want you to do that. I will pay you, i will create questions and always select your opinion as MHO. Please do it.
When you said, "But you asked me out because you wanted to spend time with me and get to know me, so your choice, you pay" and then said, "The whole point of a date is two people going out and getting to know each other because we're romantically interested in each other" did you mean he should pay because he's the one interested and wants to get to know you? Then you said you're both romantically interested in each other. Does the guy pay because only he wants the date? I don't understand.
Pretty much. Whoever asks pays for the date they offered to take someone on. A woman who asks a man out should pay for him. This applies to gay and lesbians relationships as well where both partners are the same gender
I would only go out with a man I could respect and was romantically interested in, but I will only ever be romantically interested in a guy who shows me his romantic interest in me first. I am perfectly happy being single, so a man would have to prove he can improve my life for me to agree to go on a date with him.. Otherwise we're friends or aquaintances
What's the reason or logic why the asker would pay though? Does the asker supposedly want to go on the date more? Is the person going doing them a favor so the money is incentive or like a bribe to go?
A relationship is a PARTNERSHIP, not an entitlement program. Neither side should expect compensation for spending time with their partner. Do you how fucking absurd that sounds?
I consider someone asking someone out on a date as offering to cover whatever expenses you want to incur because you admire/respect/adore your date. I consider someone who takes someone on a date and then doesn't pay for it to be breaking a promise. I don't allow people in my life to break the promises they make to me. Trust is the number one key in a long-term relationship
Sounds like you may have had some serious absent people in your life.
That's the only correct assumption I've seen here yet
So it looks like you may use the first date thing as a strategy to test guys loyalty.
That's exactly what it is. I didn't know my father until highschool. I would never have a child without knowing the father would stick around because I know from personal experience how much it sucks to grow up with divorced parents. A guy who won't put in the effort to provide for me on the first date isn't someone I can expect to stick around and provide for a child and wife.
I see how you're trying to gauge a guys morality by if they will pay for a date, but I don't think that kind of action will really say how the guy will be with you ultimately (long term). Paying is a polite gesture, but many guys will use that kind of strategy to influence a girl to think that he's a nice guy (short term) and to encourage the girl to be nice back to him (if you know what I mean).
There are many reasons a guy may not want to pay for a first date and not all are because the is undependable and doesn't want to contribute for his future family. I see what you're trying to do, but it's not an accurate way to decide if the guy will ultimately be good to you.
I know there are some guys who pay for dates to try and take advantage of a girl, but much like gold-diggers, these kinds of guys come with other warning signs. Guys like that are why I never let strangers buy me drinks.
It might not be foolproof, but it certainly helps narrow down the guys who are interested in me
I think getting to know them personally, despite whoever pays, is how you'll really know.
"The one who invites pays"... Okay
"That's why I never invite, they should invite ME".
baha yeah they should. You are the one with a pussy so I guess we all shall lower our heads and praise your holy, oh so holy vagina.
lol the only reverence you will get from me is a gtfo here with that garbage. You are surely paving yourself a bright path to be living in your 30's with a bunch of cats. I hope they pay for your food by then. ttyl
Actually I plan to have 17 cats by the time I'm 30. Being a crazy old cat lady is my goal. I don't date. I wrote this Take as a hypothetical scenario for if I ever found a guy I considered worth dating.
I would rather you not worshipped any part of my body. Thank you
But you see darling, you aren't worth nowhere NEAR my money, I also have other options and I also want YOU to impress me.
You could have impressed me by acting like you are NOT in fact the center of the universe, but you didn't.
THAT is why you did not get paid for.
I agree that a woman needs to impress a man just as much as a man needs to impress a women. That's apparent in different ways
First point : "You asked me out."
Well d'uh, because women are too bloody scared to do the asking out.
That's like saying "I think we should be old fashioned. Why? First reason, I am old fashioned"
It's the worst kind of circular reasoning, and it makes no convincing sense.
Most girls are too scared to ask guys out. I'm not going to deny that
I don't ask guys out because I'm happy being single. If a guy wanted to be with me, then he'd have to prove to me how he could improve my life, otherwise I don't need him
"then he'd have to prove to me how he could improve my life" anons point number 8.
you're pathetic, and you dont deserve special treatment. I wish i could see you in the future after you have failed to find a man who is willing to do that for you, and you are starting to get desperate as you hit the wall (30+)
I'm perfectly OK with being alone for the rest of my life. I've actually never been on a date before because I don't need someone in my life who won't improve it.
Would you mind giving me a wall to bang myself into? I prefer the pretty red brick ones with contrasting ivy growing up it
"I've actually never been on a date before" and the whole world is shocked. *Shocked* I tell ya.
you're gonna be miserable, most women cannot handle being alone in the long run.
Well that's good because I'm not most women. I wasn't okay as a child. I've learned to deal with myself and my life. Living alone for the last year and half has been the only happy time in my life. I'm looking forward to being happy for many years to come
I've already done the whole miserable thing. I fixed that as soon as I turned 18
Good for you, but that tends to change for women as they near their 30s especially if they remain childless. I have my doubts that this won't happen to you as well eventually.
You aren't the only person who has been wrong in doubting me. My parents were the first, and look where that got them: alone and in the hospital. They deserve prison, but I'd rather move on with my life than deal with the filthy mess and stress of a trial
Im not wrong in doubting you, im correct. And why would your parents end up in the hospital for doubting you? if you ever met me i could put you in the hospital or morgue just using my hands.
They're manipulative, abusive assholes. My father told me everyday for two out of the three years I knew him that he hated me and would leave me if I didn't change for him. He tried to convince me I needed him and couldn't live without him. So I left. I proved that I don't need him. His alcoholism and depression has blown into even more outrageous proportions. My grandma told my aunt he's drunk crashed his car three times since then, ended himself up in the hospital because of it. He doubted that I would be able to leave him and it smacked him in the face
My mother doubted I'd make it through highschool without getting knocked up/addicted to drugs. Still a drugfree virgin. She finally changed her last name so I don't have to share it anymore
I really don't get the point of threatening people on here. My parents tried to kill me basically everyday as a child, but I survived somehow. I'm not afraid of the morgue. I'd be OK with dying anytime. I'm happy with the person that I've becom
So your parents where weak people, i dont really care, and i dont care about you trying to sound like such a "strong independent woman" on here anonymously. Seriously there is no such thing as strong independent women, you are all weak compared to men. mentally and physically.
My parents were extremely weak people. I'm not asking you to care, or anyone else for that matter. I answered a question you asked. Nobody had to post a reply to MyTake. They did it because they wanted to. As I posted at the bottom with Pooh, "I don't really give a bother"
There is such thing as a strong woman. Men used to be stronger than women mentally and physically but they've given that up. All of these whiny men claiming that I'm a self-entitled princess are proof of that. A man who is stronger than me would be extremely manly and worth anybody's respect
i asked mainly because the correlation you tried to make was extremely vague, like you implied that doubting you results in someone ending up in the hospital, obviously your example only applies to your parents since they had an emotional connection to you, which i and the other readers here dont. Which is why i mentioned that i didn't care to point out how meaningless your statement was. you're not going to convince anyone with those kinds of stories.
Strong i guess is relative, but women are always going to be dependent on men in one way or another, since men are the ones who provide the tax money to sustain society, provide protection for you, and the ones who invented all the health care, birth control and machines to make lives easier for everyone especially women. Women who have children will always be dependent on men as well due to child support welfare and their inability to work during pregnancy.
The strongest women are still weak compared to the strongest men.
The reason modern men are somewhat less masculine that what we used to be is because of feminist laws enforced by a smaller group of powerful men that subdue the rest of the male population for their own benefit, and women end up being benefactors in this situation as well. So when women keep whining all the time the only thing men can do is to whine back but even that is limited for us to a large degree.
I couldn't agree more. My mother was one of those awful feminazis who used the biased divorce courts to ruin everyone's life around her. She is a useless, evil, conniving person who drains up every ounce of welfare she can get to spend it all on herself. None of us children ever saw a dime of that welfare and child support
I believe that marriage is forever. I'd rather die than divorce a man I could love. I'd expect the utmost monogamy and respect from each side. I'd never screw him over through an awful divorce
My parents were still arguing about theirs 17 years later. I refuse to die a bitter person like either of them
I'm waiting to meet one of the strong men you claim is still out there
Women complain about men's standards, but the real problem is their own lack of self-worth and standards. Women of quality have no problem attracting men of quality
the problem is that the hypergamy instinct of women doesn't work out in an artificially "equal" society we have created thanks to the aformentioned tax money and laws provided and enforced by men. Women instinctually classify a "quality" man as someone who is more capable than herself as well as more capable than the other men around her, thats what she is looking for, the average woman naturally needs the average man, but we changed that with this modern society so now the average women has unrealistic standards which usually cannot be met by the average man, which results in a large portion of women ignoring the average men until they start to get older (30+) and realize that they are not good enough to catch and settle down with an alpha male, so they "settle" for the average man when their own value has dropped even though the average man technically is better than her even from the beginning. this results in a very low child birth rate and will be a big problem in the long run
Women have unrealistic expectations of men because they have low self-worth and lower their own values. Women who have low self-worth and low values who continue to think they deserve men of better quality than them are the ones who "settle" in their 30s. If women had higher worth and value in their 20s, then they wouldn't need to "settle" in their 30s with men they should've been dating in their 20s
There are still women with high worth and value. They're just rare and often already snatched up by real men before average men can get their hands on one
I agree that our low birth rate is and will be a problem in the future and now. I consider having more elderly on social security than healthy adults in the workforce as a current problem due to the 50,000 aborted fetuses that would now be working adults if they had been allowed to be born and grow to adulthood
"I agree that our low birth rate is and will be a problem in the future and now." AND the lack of logic continues. Populations can't go up forever. If a system isn't designed to be able to handle negative population growth, or even lessened positive population growth, then the system must be reformed or abolished. You can't just rely on more children to keep the system going forever. If our population growth is too low now, then social security is built on a faulty foundation.
You seem confused, women dont have high expectations on men because they have low selfworth, they think to highly of themselves and only realize later that they cannot get what they thought they could and as they have gotten older they cannot even get the level of man they could when they where younger, so they end up settling for less than they could have had if they where realistic when they where young. The women you speak about with high selfworth, its more accurate to refer to them as realistic, but they are very few in number.
It's a combination of all those things and more. Most relationships are doomed from the start because one side is settling
Quality men and women are increasingly hard to find these days and they generally marry young because someone snatches them up when they get the chance
nah, quality men are still common, just they have adapted to how bad most women are out there with this feminism and hypergamy effect. The reality is most women are not nice towards men they don't need. (as in utility or resources etc) So when society helps out women in every way possible so they can pretend they don't need the average man, then they simply won't bother with interacting with those guys, so men realize that its not worth the effort to do everything for a girl who in reality is inferior to us and still get so little in return in most cases. So when girls eventually realize that most of them cannot all find an alpha top 20% man to settle with (as these men fuck around until they are in their 40s usually or only date supermodels) and as they also realize their looks are starting to fade they suddenly change their attitude, but at that point most guys their age have adapted and will instead use them the same way the alpha male did when she was young. Sad state of reality
Most of that is true. And you're correct that most women these days don't respect men, especially not on this site. I try to treat everybody the same unless they're being rude or hostile towards me. People who show respect earn it
You're right that most women aim for guys who only want to use them and then have to settle for lesser guys who don't respect them because they've used themselves up. That's the sad world we live in today. But there are still some women who retain their worth and value. These women are not hypergamous just because the majority of women around them are
its not sad that they settle, its good that they finally at least realized that they are not as good as they thought they where, there are not enough alpha men around for every woman, not even nearly enough of them for every good looking woman only, but the average man is still superior to the average woman and they would realize that sooner if feminism and the welfare state didn't make them so independent from men that they start to believe that they deserve an alpha since the alpha is willing to fuck them.
Neither gender is better than the other, but the rest is sound
I don't pity girls who think they deserve better than they're willing to earn either
wrong, men are definitely better than women, its been proven many times in different ways, we just avoid talking about it because its "sexist" and controversial.
"If you don't think I'm worth more than money, then I have no problem finding someone else who does. I have plenty of other options than you (including being happily single), so I don't need to deal with you telling me that a few pieces of paper and metal are worth more than me."
Precisely. That goes both ways. Not just the way that benifits you.
I agree with that completely. I don't want guys to waste their time with me when I know we're not compatible. I'd be glad if someone I wasn't compatible with moved on from me and found what he was looking for somewhere else
So you are worth more than cash but your potential boyfriend is not? He shows respect by paying and you show respect by being a leech? You hold your date to standards you yourself can't even live up to. So how is any of that showing respect in any way, shape or form? To me this whole take came across as princess syndrome where you feel entitled to certain things simply because you have a vagina and a pleasant demeanor. Best of luck in getting that first date and even more luck getting a second.
No. If I loved a man, then he would be worth more to me than all of the money in the world
I'd expect him to pay for the first date, but I'd give him everything after that, all that and more. I'd give him things money can't buy
I'm not entitled. Everything that I have is because I earned it
I certainly don't have princess syndrome. I'd want to be treated like a queen in a relationship, but I'd treat him like a king in return
I'm a virgin. My vagina has nothing to with this
I've had plenty of offers, but all ones I can refuse. I'm happy being single. I'd only go out with a man if he could prove that he could improve my life.
So if you can't pay for the first date because you are broke then should I expect you to ever pay. Or will it be a 90/10 split. Let me guess you'd make up for it by doing things that every other girlfriend does for their boyfriend. Please. Hustling a bar owner for free drinks, mooching free meals off friends, conning a pushover to fix your car are not earning them. You are the very definition of entitled. But you won't ever see it that way. So again good luck.
No. We would trade after that if he preferred it. Buying me dinner would free up extra money to spend on him
I was referring to my position in life. I am financially independent and have been for over a year. I spend my money wisely. I don't eat lunch at work because I can't afford it. My coworkers feed me sometimes and take me out because they appreciate everything I do for them at work and as a person, and also because I'm a great person to hang out with
I resisted allowing my friend to help me pay to fix my car. It was more than I expected and I was ready to swipe my card, but he told the mechanic to spit it in half. He insisted on helping because he's a nice guy, knows I've had a lot of misfortune in life, and enjoys helping people out financially because he makes more than he needs. I'm not the only one he helps out
I don't disagree with the man paying.
However, I strongly disagree with your "reasons" behind it. Your logic is every bit as failed as what you're criticizing.
I pay because its how I was raised, and its a nice gesture. I also will pay for friends and family occasionally. I don't owe you anything. You are not entitled to anything.
Like I said already, I want to and fully expect to pay, but if I picked up the level of entitlement vibes you're putting out there sure as hell wouldn't be date #2
I know I'm not entitled to anything. That's why I don't ask people to take me out on dates. And I don't take advantage of guys I know I won't be compatible with. I don't put off entitlement vibes--I have standards that I'm not willing to compromise on
Maybe not but that's exactly how it appears.
You are entitled to your views, just don't try justifying them. Your reasons basically say "pay because I'm a princess and my mere presence means you owe me because vagina"
Your argument is pretty weak. What do you bring to the table to deserve all this?
That's not at all what I said
Nobody owes me anything for my presence. But if a guy wants to take me out on a date, then he owes me a date. I'd view someone who took me out on a date and forced me to pay as someone who breaks promises and can't be trusted. I have trust issues, so I'd require utmost trust in a relationship
I'd bring everything I have to the table. I'd be and do whatever a man wanted me to be or do if I loved him. I'd be his everything and he'd be mine. I'd pay him back in ways that money can't buy
I've never been on a date because I haven't met a guy I wanted to be in a relationship with. I'd only go out with someone I wanted to be in a relationship with. So date one would mean a monogamous relationship and everything that entails
I'm a virgin. My vagina has nothing to do with this
So you say you have lots of options, yet by your own admission you are a 21 year old virgin whom has never been on a date? Either you are lying about these options, or you are an entitled little princess that overvalues her worth, and men would do well to avoid you. Let me tell you something, women have more sexual value then men, but women have far less dating value your worth and continue with your entitlement complex, you will end up alone and only be considered good for a quick shag.
*You over value your worth
Yes that's what i meant, *if you over value your worth an continue your entitlement complex, you will end up alone. This site sucks for mobile, writing sentences that don't make sense.
I do have plenty of options. I prefer to be single because I enjoy being single and I'll only let someone into my life who can improve it. I see people on here complaining about their problems with insecure girls who don't value their own worth, so be my guest if you want a stressful, makeup -breakup relationship with an insecure girl
I don't have an entitlement complex. I work hard for the things I have. Everything I have is because I earned it. I don't mooch off other people. I graciously thank anybody who give me anything for free
You mooch off men for a first date and think because you work hard people have to work hard too to be worthy of you (and if you can't afford to go out you must not be working that hard) . "and I'll only let someone into my life who can improve it" you certainly are a picky little princess, and you describe number 8 in anonymous's post "8. A woman will only be with a man if she can derive benefits. If no benefits can be found then no association will take place." What a hypergamous little latent prostitute.
I've never been on a date, so I'm not mooching off anybody for a date.
I do work hard for my money. Your judgement of my work ethic doesn't change my work ethic
I admit that I have standards and that is why I'm single. Yes I am picky, but I can afford to be picky because I'm not begging
Would you consider a sexless relationship to be a relationship? Probably not. Everyone enters into relationships to achieve something. If nobody wanted anything from a relationship, then there'd be no such thing a relationship and we'd either all be lone wolves or living with a hive mentality
When something is a mutual want, it isn't an exchange, the sex in the relationship should be a mutual want, if it's not and still executed then its obviously prostitution. When benefits are mentioned it excludes mutual benefits.
You haven't yet, but this whole mytake says you will mooch when given the chance, and you mooch of your friends. Wait 5 years and see how many options you have for long term relationships with you attitude and seeming aversion to sex.
You have read that paper haven't you? Pretty much what i would have said. Men only require (as in need, not want) things that should be mutually beneficial, while women often require things that benefit only them to get into a relationship. hypergamy!
So because you can't afford to pay for yourself, you expect everyone else to? You seem extremely entitled. I'd hate to be your friend if I knew I had to pay for you too while we went out. You're a grown woman and you should be able to take care of yourself. This isn't just about guys having to pay for you, you think everybody should pay for you just because you don't make enough. You are a gold digger.
I don't expect anyone to pay for anything for me. My friends and coworkers give me gifts because they're decent people, respect me for all I do for them, and want to help me out because they know how hard I work. I have plenty of friends that I'm not in need of your friendship. I do take care of myself. I am financially independent and everything I have is because I've earned it. This MyTake is about how there are more important things than money. I don't expect men to buy me anything. I simply expect that when I start dating, man will cover the cost he incurs for the date of his choice. I make enough to support myself because I know how to live within my means. I don't make enough money to buy lunch at work, so I don't eat lunch, because I'm responsible. I can't possibly be a gold-digger because I've never taken money or bribes from men or ever taken advantage of a man. I have never been on a date because I have enough respect not to lead them on. I can't possibly be a gold-digger
You are from the old school. Most guys your age are not old school.
And the fact is, avoiding gold diggers is way up there in terms of reasons not to pay for the first date, and your objections to that don't hold water. Yes they have a 'particular air', and they are VERY common! A lot of guys have been burned, and those guys aren't going to listen to you.
Modern guys, my dear, ALSO have options, it's not like 20 years ago where you'd be frozen out if you didn't pay for the girl.
You're absolutely right that I am old-school. My parents tried the new-school approach of divorce court, and my childhood would have been much more tolerable without it. My parents divorced when I was 18 months old, so I had to observe what a marriage was from TV. I watched a lot of Disney movies as a kid, so that really should be expected
I can't agree with you more that most guys my age aren't old-school, but that's why I'm not attracted to them. I had my first kiss and crush this year with a 27-year old man. Modern guys can have all the options they want except me
Maybe some guys can't spot gold-diggers as well as I can. But I already said I feel bad for them. I have been told that I'm both very good at reading people and difficult to read. Most people live up or down to my expectations. It's rare someone breaks my impression or expectations of them. (Like how I expected some people to insult me over this MyTake, it's the caboose there, hanging out with Pooh)
This is complete bullshit, females like you make the rest of us look bad.
SPLIT THE GODDAMN BILL and be done with it already.
you'd think that'd be a logical thing by 2016, right
@Deconstruction Yeah ikr? Even paying for what you eat... like it's fking logical.
You're absolutely right. Women with standards make girls without standards look terrible
Uhh she was disagreeing with you...
Asking for free stuff isn't "having standards", it's "being entitled". Or do you believe he's PAYING YOU to have a date with him? But that's prostitution.
@Deconstruction
I don't ask for free stuff. My friends give me free food to help me because they appreciate me, and I graciously thank them for it
I don't take advantage of guys. I'm not going to lead someone on if I know he's not compatible with me. I've never even been on a date, let alone asked for a guy to take me on one and demand he pay for it
Asking for stuff is being entitled, but I don't go around asking for stuff. Everything I have is because I earned it
Paying a girl to have sex with you is prostitution. I'm a virgin, so no exchange of sex for money would be taking place. Paying a waiter for a girl's meal isn't even close
Amen
I do not think it's called 'having standards' to expect the guy to pay.
Clearly you (and most people on GAG) think differently than I do. I consider it to be having a standard
Alright.
Not worth arguing about.
"I watched a lot of Disney movies as a kid."
There is your problem right there.
Welcome to the new world. The highest quality guys will expect you to pay for yourself and put out on the first date and if you don't, we move on. We have other options.
You have lost your bargaining chip and you won't be getting it back. So either get with the new program or be left behind with the losers.
It's your problem, not mine. I'm perfectly happy with it
I get to decide what man is a high enough quality for me. I'm a virgin who won't go out on a date with a man who expects any girl to put out, especially on the first date. I would rather such a guy not even bother trying to get with me so we could both move on with our lives. Guys looking for sluts have plenty of options these days. It's the ones looking for self-respecting women of value who don't have very many options
Oh please leave me behind. I don't subscribe to your program
Sorry but i dont agree on most of this. "You asked me out"? "I want to be impressed"? "I can't afford 3-5 dates a week"? Your logic system seems like a bitchy rude bimbo girl's logic. We are equals. Wonen are also hunters. If you can't afford it then get a job kid. Lol. Sorry but all this sounds childish.
I have a job. All of my money goes towards bills to keep myself alive and off the streets
I'm not expecting guys to ask me out. I simply would expect them to pay if they did
I read a comment on this site about a guy saying he couldn't afford 3-5 dates a week. I wasn't pulling that our of thin air
So you're saying just because you can't afford paying for dates, guys should pay your share too? And yes. A guy searching for a girl can't afford paying every time. Its ridiculous. Plus if you think this way then you are viewing yourself as an object that people have to pay in order to date.
Not at all. I would simply expect him to pay for the first date if he asked me. We can trade off after that. Since I can't afford to take him to dinner, I'd fix him a nice one at home instead
I don't understand all of this searching for someone that everyone does. If you see somebody you like and are attracted to, then ask them out. But searching is a definite turnoff to me because it means you're desperate for emotional connection and not secure enough in yourself to be independent
I view myself as a person whom I would've admired as a child. I don't view myself as an object. And I already said that I'm worth more than money. I would only be compatible with a man who agreed
Your first paragraph changed it all. Nice. I thought you were saying you just "expect" guys to pay the whole time. It ok to accept if the guy says "ill buy you a drink" , and after he does you tell him about your house and cooking but will be damn rude to just wait him to pay. Plus when i mean a guy is in search, i dont mean he's desperare. Anyways.
Everyone seems to have taken it that way
I've never accepted a drink from a stranger, including the only man I've ever been attracted to. I don't lead guys on thinking they're going to get something they're not out of me. Especially sex because I'm still a virgin
I tell everyone about my cooking and sewing and art. They're my passions, so I feel everyone who wants to get to know me should know how I feel about these activities. And I know watching a woman cook releases the love hormone oxytocin in a man's brain. I wouldn't never abuse this power that I have as a woman, but would certainly use it to impress a man whom I could love and respect