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Why You Should Man Up and Pay For the First Date (Page 3)
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I will only pay for a woman if we both sign a contract agreeing that I am guranteed sex after dinner and that you don't blow me off for some other dude 😊.
Deal? Other than that pay for your own shit you ponse. If you don't like what equality brings then get back in the kitchen.
I absolutely wouldn't blow a guy off for another. I believe in monogamy. I'm a virgin, so the sex thing wouldn't be guaranteed
I would love to cook for a man I could love and respect, release some oxytocin in his brain for me
I don't like anyone paying for me unless you took me out somewhere and I can't afford it. I actually had to pay for a friend once since he only had his atm on him and their pos wasn't working... luckily I had some cash on me. Money isn't such a big issue that it makes or breaks relationships for me.
I think I'm most offended with the phrase 'man up' aactually... I've been wondering what put me off about the whole article
I specifically used those words for the title as Clickbait because I wanted people to read it. A lot of people won't read things online with a lot of words in them, so I had to give people a reason to want to read it. I didn't really think anyone would comment here because they wouldn't actually read it, but I got more than I expected. Lol
Personally I think paying for your lady is a manly thing to do. Paying for your date is respectful and respect is the number one key to a long-term relationship
It just boils down to love languages... I'd prefer you spending a few fun hours with me anyways over buying me dinner. You make your money, you keep it. If you ask, the least I can do is pay for my food. But that's just my opinion.
"If the woman asks a man out, then she is responsible for paying for the first date, but I'd only go on a date with someone who would asked me out"
Yeah, okay. Sorry but I never read beyond that point. It screams a lot of entitlement. "HEY, MAN UP AND YOU COME APPROACH ME BECAUSE I'M A PRINCESS." then "HEY, MAN UP AND PROVE THAT YOU ARE WORTHY OF MY EXISTENCE AROUND YOU BECAUSE I'M A PRINCESS"
I pray to Jesus that you and other women that have that mentality be vocal about it. Spare both me and you the trouble. You find what you want, I go find mine.
You shouldn't write an opinion longer than the sentence you read. I won't bother trying to explain anything to you because you already told me you won't read it anyway
It's not about length, it's about meaning. Size doesn't matter, ye feel me? lol.
Or, the man can stay home and not interact with women.
He gets to keep his house, his retirement savings and his future income. He will not have to pay child support, or spousal support.
He will also be much less likely to be be accused of sexual harassment, or become the target of a fake rape allegation.
Yup. That is always an option.
Unless most girls these days, I'd never falsely accuse someone of trying to rape me. That's mostly from girls who have had regrettable one-night stands. I'm a virgin, so I don't even fall into that category
you had to bring mcdonalds into it.
tf is wrong with mcflurries?
Hey babe wanna split a 20 piece nugget meal? I'll bring Heather and I'll even pay.
@RJGraveyTrain amg im falling in love... with mcnuggets 😍 i appreciate your gesture so much I will get you back... by having some fun time in the bedroom... in the dark... if you know what i mean... all night long... ;)
STROBE LIGHT GAMING!
heather can watch 😄😂
Take me with you y'all :)
I'll even pay ;)
Yeah because I saw a dating show on TV where some guy took a girl to McDonald's. It stuck in my mind as a horrible first date
@RainbowFanGirl the more the merrier. let's turn it into a gang bang of nintendo controllers and PC gaming :D
@RainbowFanGirl Oh girl I'd never let you pay, sugar mama's got you. ;P
@BertMacklinFBI Strobe light gaming? Well god damn, sign me up! I'll wear my Fallout onesie!
@Idonthaveausername i could see that as a funny gag date. not gag as in girls ask guys lol.
@RJGraveyTrain 👏👏👏 Yes girl
@RJGraveyTrain that better be a power armor onesie and NOT the railroad or im gonna have to pwn your pleb ass xD
Nah bruh vault 111 onesie jumpsuit status.
@RJGraveyTrain holy fuck... O_O
#respectTilltheEnd
;) ;)
@RJGraveyTrain @BertMacklinFBI can I just say this thread was the best thing I've read on here in a while.
@TheRebelReturns Lmao yeah cause we're in it :P
@RJGraveyTrain Fallout 4 references and McNuggets*
@TheRebelReturns #myheartandsoulthough
@RJGraveyTrain Can I apply to this group? I'm level 82 on FO4 and have eaten approximately 350+ McNuggets. (Not at once).
@TheRebelReturns You're in.
@RJGraveyTrain and I will be having all the fun in the dark and you can watch. 😏
@EmpatheticLady Oh buuuuudddy. I don't even have to try. ;P
Sorry princess, you're not entitled to a free meal. Pay your own shit because your time is no more valuable than mine. If us guys are culturally forced to take the initiative to get a date with you then you need to pucker up and pay for your own shit on the first date.
Otherwise, if you think guys should pay for the first date because they asked you out, then you should fuck them on the first date. Fair is fair right? /sarcasm
I've actually never been on a date and I'm a virgin, so none of that is going to happen anytime soon. Why do you assume I'm a princess? I live on my own and am completely self-sufficient. I work hard to support myself
And I know I'm not entitled to a free meal. If I can't afford dinner, then I go to bed hungry. When someone give me something for free, I'm always gracious
I'm glad I live in a place where it's normal to split the bill. But then again I'll never ask out a spoiled princess like OP anyway.
Which country are you in? I'm in Europe and splitting the bill on first dates is the norm here, not an exception.
@SpecialAgentStone
Netherlands and it's the same here.
Why do you assume I'm a spoiled princess? I've actually never been on a real date before, so it's not like I'm mooching off guys anyway. I've had lunch with a few coworkers and taken a few free drinks here and there, but I haven't agreed to the whole romantic date thing yet
And like I said, you're not my type anyway. I have plenty of other options, so your post won't keep me up at night
It's not that you like the guy to pay (that's just a preference, just like I like a girl to give me a shoulder massage more than I like to give one to her), but it's the way you try to justify it with logic. You say your hard earned money is worth more than his, that you can be impressed by money, that you think the one to ask should pay but that you'll never be the one to ask, that you have other options as if he doesn't... @RJGraveyTrain already deconstructed it all in more detail.
I would love to give a man I loves a shoulder massage. I'd love to massage every part of his body if he enjoyed it.
My money isn't worth more than his. Money isn't worth much to me once you've paid all your bills. I'd view a man as more important than my money as well. I'd give the perfect guy for me everything I have as well
I'll never ask a guy out because I'm not looking for a relationship. I can make myself happy and can live happily successful, fulfilling life all by myself
I'm not impressed with money. I'm impressed with what a man can and is willing to do with his money. I thought my point about me being worth more than money got the point across that I'm not obsessed with it, but everyone here seems to be taking it the wrong way
Her opinion has nothing to do with mine. People who agree with her are compatible with her and incompatible with me. I disagree with her completely
I agree with everything, what RJGraveyTrain said!
If we were to man up, then you should woman up too and spread your legs tonight for us. It's traditional, remember?
Traditional women wait for sex. I'm still a virgin, so yeah, I'm traditional
Modern women are the ones who spread their legs on the first night. I have more self-respect
Hahahaha girl you're going to be single for life with your ridiculous self-entitled views
I'm perfectly happy being single. I don't need anyone in my life who wouldn't improve it.
All of this nonsense of people assuming I'm not single by choice is funny. I have more options than anybody I know
Yea and guys have options too. More so than they have ever had in... pretty much forever. The moment they get a semblance of a gold digger (even if you're not), they will peace it
I'm glad for it. I don't want a guy who isn't willing to put effort into me. That was basically what this while thing was about. That would make us incompatible and neither of us needs to waste our time on the other. A guy who isn't willing to put effort into me on the first date isn't going to be willing to put effort into me 20, 30, 50 years down the road. I'm interested in a long-term relationship, not hooking up for "handcuffing season "
Fuck if I was a guy I wouldn't even give you 1 date haha
I can sense that the man that you may end up being with based on your current sexist point of view will be a man that you won't respect for long. Don't you understand that within all marriages and long term relationships the woman respects the man. The men that you describe definitely aren't men that you would respect, because the reality is that people want what they can't have. The man that always invests in you for exchange for you time is classified as an easy grab as a woman with many options, and therefore not valued and respected. Believe it or not, whether you're content with it or not, you will never stay in a long term relationship unless you respect the man, and the man that deserves respect is none of the qualities that you listed above. You simply wish for a man to value you in order for you to have a chance at valuing him, which is another classification as an easy catch, or as you would describe to be a guy that is just like every other guy out there.
@Lopezz1999
I would only go on a date with a man I respected, and I'd do everything he wanted of me if we loved each other. I absolutely agree that women should respect their men just as much as mental respect them. A relationship requires respect from both partners
You respect the man while also expect for him to pay for the both of you? This really doesn't make sense. In the scenarios that you don't see the guy again, either you don't respect him in reality, or he doesn't know that you truly do respect him due to you not attempting to help make his life better, even though he did what you asked for. His life matters too, buddy
@Lopezz1999
I've never been on a date because I haven't met a man I wanted to be in a long-term relationship with. When I meet that man and agree to go on a date with him, then I will be agreeing to go on more than one date with him. I would never go on one date and then bale on a man I was genuinely interested in. I would at least give him a second date to iron out any kinks or discrepancies there may be on the first
I'd do everything I could to impress a man of quality whom I could desire and love. I'd do everything he expected of me to meet his standards as well. We'd both put the same amount of effort and respect into one another
I would only be compatible with a man whose life I could improve as well. I wouldn't be like all of those selfish, self-entitled girls out there everyone here seems to think I am. Someone I loved would have a life I'd desire to improve on a daily basis
I have nothing more to bestow on you. The only thing I have left to tell you is that you won't respect the men you describe for long. If you are interested in reading, I have a comment exceeding the limit of characters that a person can use, but other than that, I've tried my best to open your mind for further analysis. Unless you have experience in the dating world, you will continue to believe this way in which there is nothing wrong. It is however rather appalling to just about everyone that you believe should pay for you, the so uncalled "The Entitled Princess". I certainly hope you find the man you aren't looking for, because he certainly will never find you. Take care, n g'day.
@Lopezz1999
I don't respect those who don't deserve respect. I save respect for those who do deserve it. If a man showed that he deserved respect for a length of time, I would respect him for that long
I never asked anyone to change my mind. I wrote this because it is my viewpoint and I feel strongly about it. All of the rudeness, name-calling and false assumptions on here have only reinforced my view that men who don't pay for dates are rude AF and don't deserve respect
That actually makes sense. Good good
The first paragraph that is..
@Lopezz1999
Thanks
You don't have to agree with the other part. That's a part if me most people can't handle. I could write a whole MyTake on that and people would try to change my mind about not wanting to change my mind. I'm a stubborn person, but my stubbornness has gotten me through more in life than anything else, and I wouldn't be here today without it, so I'm not going to change it
There is a large quantity of people that suggest otherwise. Even though you claim that these beliefs got you far in life, most of the people who quickly decided to disagree with your comment on who a respected man would do are only suggesting ways of making a happier life out of yourself (and hopefully your unlucky dates). They view you, a girl that is completely inexperienced in the world of dating, as someone with unrealistic views only to exist in the ideal fairytale. It is not the male genders fault that you will never find the man you describe. However since you're unwilling to ask a man out yourself, expect the man to value, respect a rather pawn before he even gets to know you, and expect the man to pay for both you and himself, you will have just about no chance of staying in a long term relationship especially if you find a man that pays for you on the date. If you were forced to do these three ludicrous things, wouldn't you avoid this type of person? In fact if all women?
@Lopezz1999
Everything you just said there is exactly why I wouldn't ever ask a guy out. There are too many guys who have wasted their lives with actually entitled and mentally and emotionally abusive women who have let themselves get destroyed. I would never want to waste myself on a broken guy. I'd need a real man who can see past all this ridiculous BS in the world of what dating has turned into
The majority of society tries to break me down all the time, just like people on this site. But I know I'm the only one who's ever had my back and is the only person who can make myself happy. I'd need a real man who can respect me and my beliefs rather than accuse me of doing or being something that I'm not
Seeing how most men treat a girl with standards and values has only proved to me that I'm better off keeping them to myself than wasting them on broken men who won't be able to appreciate me
Ok then.
TLDR;
Why I believe I am entitled to anything I want, without having to give things in return.
Way to be an entitled bitch.
I would give a guy everything I could if I could love him and he could love me. I will definitely make my first date worth it for a guy. I've been saving it for the perfect one
I think whoever offers to take the other person out should either pay or they can split the costs regardless of gender.
If not then...
https://i.imgur.com/60URcg8.gif
If you read MyTake, you'd see that I agree this applies to women who ask men out as well. The person who asks is responsible for taking their date on an actual date. This applies to gay and lesbian couples as well, not just men asking women out. I geared this towards men because I don't ask men out
Rorshack is my second favorite comic-book-turned-movie antihero. Of course Deadpool is my favorite
Why is it assumed that the asker pays for the date? He could be jobless and rather just hang out or be thankful there's a woman that breaks the mold and pays.
Why does money need to be on a first date? Maybe they can date where no money is needed.
Well, most people may think you pay for yours and I pay for mine.
I included that option in MyTake, but most people seem to have skipped over it. If all he can afford is a picnic in the park, then I'd find that equally as romantic as a five-star restaurant. Having a guy take me out to a place he couldn't afford would be a turnoff for me because that means he's irresponsible with money.
I'm financially independent and live on my own. Everything I have is because I've earned it. A guy who has debt or lives above his means is irresponsible. Responsiblity is an attractive trait
If a guy wants to take me to a date where no money is needed and still have it be romantic and impress me, then he gets bonus points for being frugal and creative
Why does he have to have money? Why can't you pay since you're the one with money and responsible?
If he takes me somewhere that costs money, then he has to pay. If he can come up with a respectable date that doesn't cost any money, I'd be fine with that. He'd even get bonus points for being creative and frugal
Why does he have to be the paying one if you have more money?
If he takes me someplace he can't afford anything expects me to pay because of this, not only is he disrespectful and doing the opposite of showing interest, but he is also irresponsible and terrible at managing his own money. Everything about him would be unattractive to me and he certainly wouldn't be what I'd consider a real man to be
But if he expected the same of you and said if you didn't do it, then you weren't a real woman. Would he be right too?
He wouldn't be right or wrong--we would simply be incompatible
Incompatible because he doesn't put females first as a rule, eh? Maybe he can say you're incompatible for not putting men first.
Incompatible because I'd want a man to stick around and provide for his wife and children. Someone who doesn't put effort into providing for me on the first date can't be trusted to stick around and support me and his children 20, 30, 50 years form now
What about a woman that provides for her family?
This harks back to when women used to put out when a guy bought her a steak dinner. Your take didn't give any good reason why a gay pay, its 2016 not 1950. Its sexist to expect a guy to fulfill an expected gender role. To be honest if an adult woman couldn't pay for her half of a meal im not sure I would date her.
You're entitled to your own opinion. I agree that you should want a girl who is compatible with you. If being able to pay for her half of the dinner is compatible with you, then go find some rich bitch who's right up your alley
I'm a virgin, so there is going to be no sex on the first date, sorry
Actually I don't have to find a rich bitch any more than yoy have to find a rich geezer. Im already married. That's good hold on to your virginity until you find the guy yoy will marry, virgin women are more likely to marry.
He may have asked you out, but you agreed to go, which suggests that you're at least somewhat interested in him. Nobody is forcing you to be there. Why should he pay for your company? What are you, a prostitute? If you weren't ready to pay for your food, you shouldn't have gone to eat. The fact that you went with a guy doesn't change anything.
I've never agreed to go on a date, so no I haven't been interested in anyone. I turn down guys I'm not interested in. I haven't requested anybody pay for my company or time nor have I accepted the offers I've been given. I'm a virgin, not a prostitute. I don't go out to eat unless people offer to pay because I know I can't afford it. I've never gone with a guy
It doesn't sound like you consider a date to be a special occasion. I don't go around sleeping with every guy who tells me I'm beautiful. I would only go out with someone I was very interested in and could see myself with long-term. So yes, going out with someone on a date would be much different for me than going out with my friends. And my friends pay for me anyway because they love to hang out with me, so it doesn't make sense to expect anything less from someone trying to court me
I always pay for all dates, including the first date. But the thing is, the reason why I do this isn't out of traditional roles or chivalry -- it's because I worry that the woman is going to be like the asker. The asker is the type of person who would stiff the waiter on the tip and for some reason, I find that incredibly embarrassing.
I wasn't asking a question. I wrote an opinion on a hot topic
Why do you assume I would stiff a waiter? Many of my friends and relatives work or have worked as waiters and waitresses. I always tip 20% when I do go out to eat. Just because I can't afford to go out to eat very often doesn't mean I stiff my servers
There's nothing wrong with feeling embarrassed when you're with someone who doesn't tip well. Not tipping your servers is rude, and people who don't are not respectable
I wouldn't be able to respect a man who didn't tip well. Tipping well and treating people in the service industry kindly is a respectable thing to do and proves that you're a good person of quality, integrity, and Morals. I would consider you to be someone respectable who mans up
Wow. I'm betting with an attitude like that you get a lot of second dates. "I financially support myself"? Reality check, guys have bills to pay as well.
I've never even been on a first date. I'm sure I'd easily manage a second of if I ever tried a first one out
I never said anything about men not having their own bills. I respect men who pay all of their own bills more than those who boars with their parents or a roommate
I've always thought those posts complaining about paying for first dates were ridiculous. As usual, what you've said is perfectly sensible: the person who is invited out has every right to expect the person who extended the invitation to pay. And what you're saying about trying to impress your date… if either one of you aren't planning to do this, don't waste the other person's time by asking for or agreeing to a date. Half-assing your participation in a date is a huge turn-off. Great take.
Thanks. I'm glad to see there are some sensible people on here who not only understand, but agree with me.
Half-assing your participation in a date is why so many people never get past the first date, agreed.
In a rare and unlikely turn of events, the original post is a sad reflection on the state of humanity, while the comments give me hope for humankind.
Also, I would never date someone who tells me I need to "man up"
I'm glad I indirectly helped rekindle your hope for mankind. I haven't had faith in humanity since... oh wait -- I've never had faith in humanity. Oops
Is this a culture-bound thing? I live in Europe and I've never heard about this sort of thing being considered a matter that's even discussed — if person A buys 17 dollars' worth of food, and person B buys 13 dollars' worth of food, then person A pays about 17 dollars and person B pays about 13 dollars.
I took a friend out for coffee today (and specifically asked them to go with me), and we both paid for what we got — and sure, that was not a date, but it w
but it was automatic. Neither of us even thought about it.
Yes, it's a cultural thing. I guess the US and Canada are the only to western countries where this is still an expected norm.
I disagree!!
I'd never pay for a guy in a first date, regardless if I asked him or not , and I'd never let him pay for me either. After a first date you may not be sure if you want to see that person again, so it's best to pay your own share of the bill then neither feel obligated to one another. You then don't feel you owe the one who did pay.
Neither can be accused of being used as a " meal ticket" for the night. I think both people should pay their own way until a relationship develops.
Thank you for politely disagreeing with me. And I agree with your points when geared towards modern dating like online. However, I wouldn't ever go out with a man unless I wanted a relationship with him. For me, my first date will be the start of a relationship. I'd have to respect and know enough about a man to accept going out with him, so we wouldn't be perfect strangers. And I wouldn't go out with someone who would accuse me of using him as a meal ticket. That's immature behavior, and I'd need a real man.
I've never been on a date before, so I've never used a date as a meal ticket. I'm not the entitled princess everyone here is saying that I am. I can't possibly be a gold-digger if I've never taken advantage of a guy before