Guys don't worry, we're not "Creepers" we're just ugly.
Don't worry, you're not really ugly, beauty is subjective. Everyone has there own taste and what they find attractive. What matters is being true to yourself. Several times have I heard the term Creepy.
"Oh that nerdy guy just asked me out, it was creepy" "That girl was ugly, she gave me the creeps". Truth is whenever you hear people coin terms like that, it is probably best to not get involved with them in the first place. If you go on a dating website you will see a lot of phrases like. "Looking for a genuine, or nice person" "Not looking for creepers", "Tired of all the fakes; Fuck boys/girls." The reason we see a lot of this is because people base their next relationship mostly on looks. If that is all you base your next potential relationship on, chances are you are going in blind. The real creepers come in all shapes and sizes.
Looks are Important, There has to be a physical attraction.
I agree, there does have to be some attraction on the physical level, but that doesn't mean that is all there is to it. Let go and say that I myself am not a very attractive person. I dress very casually...Jeans and a white shirt or sweater. My friends told me, "You have to by some nice close, not just to attract other people, but to make you feel good about yourself. Also shave". Now I love my trusty mustache, but I do trim or shave every once in a while. I got some nice clothes, and it really does help your self-esteem. However I digress. The point is when we go solely of looks, we are not really understanding who it is we are being attracted too. We are just bugs attracted to the light, until we fly right into the bug zapper. We become enchanted by the physical attraction, that we fail to see that the person we are attracted to is completely incompatible. Why do we do it then?
I shouldn't have to change my looks, people should like me for me.
Also true, but like it stated. Looks are more than just for attracting other people. It gives you a confidence boost, people will judge you whether you like it or not. "oh he looks like a homeless person" "She looks like a slut" etc. It is wrong a book by its cover, but the cover are what people see first. You may not be able to change your face, but you still have a lot to work with: Your Clothes, Your hair, and your weight. Most people want to be attracted to somebody who is capable of taking care of themselves and look healthy. I myself struggled with weight for a long time, until I taught myself to cook. I ended up losing a lot of weight with minimal exercise by eating healthier and I feel several times better. I have been attracted to overweight people on several occasions, so even if it is a struggle for you, it won't be the end of the world. However it is something everyone should attempt at least a couple of times just themselves and their health.
Why do people find us Creepy?
Well it could be for several reasons
1. We suck at not being shy and awkward
We sometimes stare, or do things towards people we like in the attempt at getting notice. However we do not always think of what that person is perceiving when we do said things. Imagine someone staring at you, never saying anything and just constantly staring every time they see you. You don't know that person's intention, if they never approach you or introduce themselves, you are left to your imagination. I think we all know how bad that can get when we let our minds run wild.
2.We speak before we think
Sometimes we rush into having a long and meaningful conversation, before we even introduce ourselves. We find someone attractive, we want to be in a relationship with them or just get to know them. Most often than not, that person is going to be just as nervous as you. Trying to get their whole life story from the get go, will usually lead to increased anxiety and have the opposite effect of which you intended. Just introduce yourself, say hello every time you see them. Let a week pass by and ask them how their weekend was. Give some time for the ice to melt.
3.They just don't find us attractive
This one hurts, but it is the undeniable truth. The more we force it, the worse we look. Luckily just because they don't find us attractive, does not mean we can't be friends. However we can't force that either. How would you feel, if someone you didn't find attractive was so obsessed at getting to know you and told you they liked them. For one you would feel guilty, you don't want to reject them and at the same time you don't want to lead them on. It is tough on both sides, but at the very least they had the courage to approach you. Don't think of them as creepy, but at least thank them and be honest (also tactful, brutal honesty helps no one)
What to do to find the right person?
Just give everyone who wants to talk to you a chance to introduce themselves and get to know them. I know I just said not to lead them on, but at the same time they can not approach you expecting to be entitled to a relationship just because you respond to them. I have seen most people who speak to others, only to have the person who approach them tell them off for rejecting them. That just shows you their true colors. At the same time, if you ignore people while at the same time constantly rant about not being able to find a genuine person, they you are no different. We see a blinding light at the of what we believe to be a tunnel. At the end we hope to find "the one" so we dash towards it, only to end up crashing against a dead end, because we were to blinded by the light. Instead pull out a flashlight and look for the end of that dark tunnel yourself, you will meet other people with their flashlights out also searching. Have a chat with them, you may meet someone nice. Someone who can accompany you along the journey to the end of the tunnel. Once you reach the exit you may find that the person you were looking for was not at the end of the tunnel, but also lost with you in the darkness. That person who accompanied you through the journey may just be the person you were looking for.
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
1Opinion
In some cases, yes it may be your appearance. Guys gotta admit that sometimes - whether creepy is your intention or not - you can come across that way with certain behaviours. And I think you made excellent points here.
Prolongued staring with no contact; behaving awkwardly, uncomfortably, or worse - with no concept of appropriateness perhaps due to social awkwardness - it can make an innocent guy come across creepy.
Mind you, no girl should jump to creep shaming either. Guys just gotta remember that all girls, like them, are human and nothing to be afraid of.
Good take.
No one cares. The only things people in our generation care about is how attractive you are, how much money you got or how popular you are.
If you aren't getting laid/relationship work on these rather than pointing figures at everyone else.