I used to complain a lot about being single and how most of everyone I know is in a relationship or married but me.I’ve decided to do a little bit of searching and find out a little more about myself, not just in love, but this is what I have so far.
The Men I Chose
I think about each and every guy I have given a chance (in my adult life) and they all had something in common. They were all useless players that never had a job and if they did, they didn't really have any goals. They didn't want to improve themselves. They all were just going through life being lazy bums or they would make all of these false promises and never go through with them. Instead of focusing on getting an education, or getting a career, they were more focused on how many chicks they were talking to at one time (which explains the high numbers of baby moms and too broke to take care of them). I don't say this because I want a millionaire but I have come to realize that me and these men were not on the same level. We didn't have the same plans for our lives, hell these guys didn't have any plans at all. I started thinking to myself it didn't work because I need to be with someone who has dreams, goals, and wants to do something with their lives.
Something I’m still working on. I never thought of myself as pretty and being rejected when I did show interest in a guy certainly didn't help. So I decided to date the guys very much like reason number 1. They were the only ones who were showing interest in me so I just went for what I can get. I started thinking to myself that maybe this is all I can get and maybe this is what I deserve. After things went bad with the last guy I sort of had an epiphany. I didn't respect myself so these guys didn't respect me. I let them walk all over me and treat me any kind of way because I wanted to have someone so bad. I think differently now. I don't just give in to any guy that wants to talk to me because I can sense what they are about and I just don't need the bullshit right now. I would rather be alone with my laptop and food than to be treated in a way I know I don't deserve.
I Still Have Goals I Want To Achieve
I told myself in January that I am going to make 2017 the year of my career. Meaning I am going to achieve every goal I make career wise. Still working on them. All of my energy is being put into that. Having a relationship right now would definitely slow me down. What if I get a job and I have to move and my boyfriend tells me he doesn't want to move? What will I do then? Leave of course, but why go through all of that? That’s just another heartbreak we will both have to deal with. What if I have to work all the time and I have a SO breathing down my back saying I don't spend enough time with him? That’s not fair to me or to him. A relationship right now would not be a good idea because I don’t let anything get in between me and my coin.
I Like My Freedom
I am beginning to enjoy having my time to myself. I love the fact that I can come and go as I please without having someone blowing up my phone asking where I am, who I’m with and when am I coming home. I like the fact that I can make my own decisions without having to consider someone else, I don't mean that to be selfish, go back to reason number 3. I like the fact that I can binge watch Law and Order without being crucified about my longtime crush on Fin Tutuola (lmao don't ask). I also like that I don't have to share my assets with someone, unlike marriage when everything combines. I have sparked some interests I may want to look into and I feel I can’t do that with a SO because they will want all of my time.
Hate to admit it but I haven’t gotten over some of the pain of my last relationship. I am still hurt which had led not to trust any guy right now. I would not want to bring that extra baggage into a relationship with a guy I ACTUALLY like. I want to be able to trust my partner and not hurt him. It’s not fair to him to deal with the things that happened in the life I had before him.
That’s what I came up with so far. I may have more. For those who are single and stopped dating feel free to explain your reasons.