If He Ain't Calling You, He Doesn't Like You!

[amandaschwartz]

Ladies, please stop chasing a guy that doesn't call you, or takes ages to reply: HE DOESN'T LIKE YOU!

I am so frustrated to see how many of my dear female friends, will find any justification for why the guy that they like is treating them like a second choice. The bottom line is that people make time for things that they care about. If they aren't making an effort, then it means that it's time move on and pursue someone else.

So here is a list of some common logic to think about, before chasing a guy:

1. If he liked you, he would make time for you; ALWAYS

2. If he REALLY liked you, he would come up with excuses just to talk to you

3. If he liked you, he would look forward to your text/call and reply right away

4. A guy isn't gonna ghost a girl he likes, as he doesn't want to lose her, or have another guy swoop her away

5. If he liked you, he would want to hear your voice and see how you are

6. No one is the busy, that they can't get back to a person within a day

[Anonymous]

I can kinda see what you mean

But sometimes it's not that easy u see. In last three months, my boyfriend and I only voiced twice, both of the times me getting frustrated "Where were you? I get so damn worried when you're missing!" And we ended up fighting.

But he still texts me whenever he can. Once a week, once every two-three days. He gives me update about what's going on so even though he's doing very less, he's giving me is 100% because he's a busy bee. I, on the other hand, could do so much more but can't because I don't wanna seem desperate to him. :(

[Anonymous]

I wonder how many ladies on here have gotten turned of by "available" guys who text/call often. They are now less of a challenge thus less appealing. This all falls into the nice guy vs. asshole paradox.

I hate to say it, but in the beginning of my last two serious relationships I carefully RESTRAINED myself from not calling/texting too much. I wouldn't blow them off if they contacted me. But I during the early dating period I would keep conversation to a minimum unless it was planning to meet up. I took this advice from Corey Wayne/Doc Love and it worked.

[JohnDoe3000]

True, but taking longer than a day to respond is a red flag. You can wait a couple of hours to not appear too available, but if a guy takes longer than a day then he's not interested.

[rjroy3]

1, 2 and 3 are crap.
4, 5 and 6 are on the mark. *thumbs up*

I have personal experience doing the first 3 with girls I liked for legitimate reasons that isn't at all uncommon.

"1. If he liked you, he would make time for you; ALWAYS"
If he can that day. What happens if he has a 16, 18, 22 hour day? Granted I will take a minute or two to communicate to my girl, even when I'm busy. But just stopping my day to talk and shoot the shit isn't necessarily ALWAYS going to happen. So if you mean make time as in whatever time he can, then I'll concede this one. But if make time means drop what he's doing to talk to you, then no lol.

"2. If he REALLY liked you, he would come up with excuses just to talk to you"
What happens when other people are depending on him to get something done that requires his full attention all day long and the only downtime he has he uses to sleep?

"3. If he liked you, he would look forward to your text/call and reply right away"
Look forward to yes. Reply right away not necessarily, because he can't necessarily do that. Like for me if I can't talk I'll generally respond shortly afterwards that I can't give my full attention to this right now, because when I do talk to her I want to be all there. Instead of up in my head distracted. But this is a me thing. Many guys will just see the text and say, "I'll get to that later". Then may or may not remember to do so because of a long day. I've done that with family a few times lol

[godfatherfan]

For the most part, you make good points. The exception is that I will often not call or text a woman after the first or second date to see if she will call or text me and see how long it takes. Ideally, I would love for a woman to come after me the way I am expected to go after a woman. But that just doesn't happen... EVER...
So I at least want to know that she is interested and not just settling or looking for free meals. So I will see how long it takes her to call or text to determine if I bother to continue to date her. But the only time I will do it more then once is if it seems like I am always calling or texting first.

[JohnDoe3000]

You'd think this was common knowledge, but you're right, it's not: "I guess he wasn't interested" almost always loses to "well, he has other girls chasing him and he's kinda out of my look in multiple areas, but I know I'm special and he's just busy, that's why he's responding so slowly and never taking the intitiative".

[Bezbozhnikustanka]

Not necesario y. Maybe he has to work 80 houres a week forma minimum wage to pay alimoney and chile suport to 3 exwives and 10 kids as well as paying gor rent, food, través to and from work, then he's got court schedusled visitsvwith his childten, maybe he'd love to be with you bit he's got responsabilizó es.

[Warmapplecrumble]

Damnnn...

[Bezbozhnikustanka]

@Warmapplecrumble I acidently put my keyboard, and therefore my spellchecker, into Spanish.

[Warmapplecrumble]

I understood what you said, and understand the struggle of a man and why he might not be able to talk to the woman as much as he wants to.

:-D

[John_Doesnt]

I couldn't agree less. You sound very clingy and have probably chased guys away because you yelled at them for not replying immediately. I've never known a dude who immediately replied to a text or call unless it was an emergency.

[Anonymous]

Id agree but I can be really bad when I like someone I over think and agonise over details that I never would face to face.
Texting is just harder to come across well (or I think so anyway) you know they will analyze what you say so you analyse what you say play out 30 different interpretations and end up spending way to much time on a simple text.
I honestly dont know how some pepole text back and forth so fluidly when it's someone they care about so much.

[Opinion Owner]

Im probly the exception though

[Iraqveteran666]

I've done 1-6 because I found being too keen turns women off espicially at the start. Men and women play the same games over and over.

[KenM9215]

you hit the nail on the head at the very beginning. People will make time for what is important to them!

[johari]

So true, I learned it the hard way. The feeling of chasing a guy isn't exactly fun, sure the hot and cold is exciting but it's not fulfilling.

[Dim1213]

I somewhat agree but I just don't call any more. I text everyone because it is cheaper.

[Machiavelli]

True, and if he's playing games, you should still leave him alone

[titsataki]

I agree..
nowdays with all the connectivity and opportunities it takes all about 5 seconds to respond.

I think not responding also is plain rude..

[Liisjak]

Or you're just a boring person... being cute and that buys you 15 mins of attention after that, it's your personality that keeps the conversation going.

[Love_Is_Eternal]

Maybe a lot of men are just sick of always having to chase women who play hard to get. Instead of whining why don't you just make more of an effort?

[Iwant2kno]

I don't think that applies to all women. Me for example, recently I told my crush I like him, his attitude seem positive, he asked my number and asked to get a coffee... well, he never called me! 😞

[Love_Is_Eternal]

@Iwant2kno Well it applies to most women.

[johnny_hustle]

@Iwant2kno You told him that you liked him, he then asked for your number and asked to get coffee. . . I'm hoping you got his number as well? If so, contact him and ask him if he still wants to go get some coffee with you. If he dodges or doesn't answer then move on, but don't let the fact that he never called you deter you from the potential date.

You made a move, then he made a move and now he's waiting for you to make your move.

[Iwant2kno]

@johnny_hustle well I was so damn nervous I forgot to ask his number! 😞

Honestly I won't insist in looking for him, I think I already went off my ways to tell him how I feel for him, if he don't look for me I'll just let him go.

[Love_Is_Eternal]

@johnny_hustle You have to understand that women have a lot of pride. In most cases women won't chase after men. And women do not desire men as much as what men desire women. It's a harsh reality. This is one reason I gave up on women and have been single since I was 20. If women don't desire men as much as what men desire women, then I just can't be arsed chasing after women. In the past women needed men for financial support. But now that men are no longer needed for financial support, then lots of women prefer to be single. They just don't have the same attraction to men as what men have for women.

[Iwant2kno]

I totally understand what you mean. But you see in my case, i signaled this guy how much I like him... geez I wrote him a note letting him know how I feel for him, what I think of him (went off my ways/pride to tell him)... I really tried because I authentically like him, not only physically but also intellectually... but it's obvious he may not feel the same way. The fact that he didn't express his interest/uninterest leaves me with a doubt if revealing my feelings to a guy is the best thing to do.

[almadafie]

I totally agree, men show their affection quite boldly and desperately, if that is not happening, things are not going smoothly

[Anonymous]

Why should a man have to chase women when they don't chase back

#equality

[passingby123]

I think that if you're the one interested, regardless of your gender, you're the one that's going to be chasing.

[CynicBrother]

yeah this is true since guys are always the one to put their interest boldly

[Westy616]

Girls do this to guys probably even more frequently.

[backonthelist]

unless he's being paid

[Halucinator]

Really true
Respect OP
amazing take