Well if your at a night club 🍹 and you see a very pretty model like girl sitting at the bar, then you see another girl lets say she's on the big side wears glasses 👓 most men will think the model girl will more than likely turn me down or it will be too much work to get her, the other girl the guy might assume there's a very high chance there, to me though its all in the head.
And the point here isn't that most men are too insecure to approach the model. The point here is that a few men will approach her because they're drunk or brave enough. This was addressed to women who think they're too beautiful to ever be hit on when that simply isn't the case--they're not hit on at all because men don't see them as desirable
Haha I love that last one too, but have to admit she has given up a portion of her femininity to maintain that physique. Health and fitness is attractive, but women can loose attractiveness with fitness
the your didn't mean you. it was general, and yea, i know a ton of guys who think that way. Good news is, i have some who even feel stronger than i do about no league. We all have that ugly friend who always hits on the best looking girl in the vicinity, regardless of how many times they get shot down.
@Tdieseler Please spread the news about "no such thing as a league". I've been trying to tell all the guys that say that to me that it's not a thing but, they don't listen. Maybe they'd listen to you.
@CHRISENSIO And you spread the word "Confidence is a very poweful thing a guy can have in the dating game". It's totally woman approved and I know a lot of guys that you tell them that as a woman and they don't believe you.
Leagues don't exist, only people who are too shallow to get to know someone's personality first
Confidence is definitely woman-approved. I've only been interested in confident average guys because hot guys are always too cocky when they approach me and insecure ones are always awkward (not in the good way) about it
I've never been afraid or intimidated intimidating any women. I only had one say yes to a say. We're having cocktails at a place her boyfriend is drinking. I had no idea who he was, but he jumped in my face and I felt threatened, so I threw a right hand, broke his bro, was jaw for assault all while she came out smelling like a rose.
The same reason women don't approach intimidating men... nobody likes contentious, and offensive people, unless you like being dominated, but that can be cruel without a safeword.
Goodtake. Though there are exceptions to the masculine female rule such as terminally lesbian chick Ellen page. The whole "I'm a strong independent feminist woman" speech and vibe is a serious turn off.
I'm curious too. I haven't really changed my eating habits but I'm doing this program 5x a week. It's fairly challenging, and after two weeks I can just barely get through. Will I see any results?
There is a lot of truth to this. I never understood why women would say they are strong and independent, yet they still expect the man to approach them. If you're really all that, then ask a guy out and pay the bill.
Thank you, but being a strong or independent woman has nothing to do with asking men out or paying the bill. Paying the bill depends on if you prefer traditional gender roles or modern feminist beliefs. Many women (like myself) aren't interested in asking out strangers until they get to know his personality, so asking out a random stranger isn't an appealing concept
Dependent women are actually much more likely to approach men than independent women. Independent women are comfortable living their lives and don't need men while dependent women attach themselves more quickly to new people and encourage people to provide for them by using their resources. But as I mentioned in MyTake, it's important for a woman to give up part of her independence when she cares about a man
Actually I don't find any women intimidating =P I just don't approach overly attractive women because 99% of the time all they have is their looks which after a weeks is boring af
I don't approach any women because I'm too shy, and I lack self-confidence. But I love intimidating type of woman, though, I always end up with unrequited love, friendzoned, or broken-hearted :(
You're not the kind of guy I'm talking about in this MyTake, but I like the positivity towards the women I am talking about
You need to make your feelings known immediately when you meet a woman or she'll friendzone you because she doesn't think you want anything more. Unrequited love is difficult, but cutting off a woman who doesn't have any interest in you is important in moving on to someone who actually does. Unfortunately everyone deals with a broken heart at one point in their lives, but the two best things to heal one are time and finding someone better
at 40 dude? maybe you should try becoming a monk and find enilghtment? this whole living in society/dating women think doesn't seem to be a sport cut for you.
@levantine99 I said Im not 40 yet, and I dont care about "other sports". The thing is, I was in love four times in my life, and every time, it was an unrequited love. Each time I was heart-broken for years. That's how I lost years and years of my life... drowning in heartache and depression, thinking about the women I loved ðŸ˜
which is not love. cause if you really loved them you'd find peace and happiness in the fact they are with someone hwo makes them happy even if that its not you. and if all you had in your life was unrequited love, thats because you are a beta man that can't keep a woman. go learn some game.
search in you whats at fault. i dont personally know you but can already picture you. a people's pleaser, a "nice guy", withering, non assertive, non sexual, non socially savy, not very successful and with any form of high status. too much living in your head. too much being a tryhard goodie in two shoes.
your psychological profile fits perfectly with that of eternally friendzoned beta male. it wasn't that hard to guess. its like having a picture of you in front of me. you are not too old to change your life. rsd channels and fearless man channels on youtube might help you. but only if you start implementing their teachings with daily practice. what you currently dont understand at your current level of consciousness, is that much of what you consider niceness in you is just a coping mechanism and a psychological front you'll be feeding since childhood as a survival mechanism.
some parts of you, deep inside you, are for some weird reasons happy and hedonized with the status quo. and to preserve that have come up with all sorts of post hoc rationalisations, distortions of reality and excuses. some other parts in you really wanna see change, but are currently kept dormant. you should search all these deeper demons of yours and exorcise them. only you can get you out of the state of misery and into a state of abundance.
change. you lived all your life as the passive receiver. for once you should start being the source. you should enhance your presense. you should have an impact in the world and goals which you pursuit and successfuly complete. you should break your ego front. you've been feeding this front for 4 decades. do crazy things you would consider impossible before. challenge yourself, take modern dance classes, go to a karaoke party and confidently sing like a rockstar even if you have no game. be the soul of the party. get out of your self and start approaching people everywhere. even for a simple greeting. without any agenda or underlying goals, just for the fun of the interaction. learn to have fun out of socialising and flirting with women. instead of a tedious process, create connections in your brain that associate it with fun and pleasure. become an avid student of females and the human creature in general. build a good social circle.
@levantine99 You put it very bluntly, but I agree with you. Men who spend their lives passively watching women go after other guys because they're too insecure to go up to her themselves are doomed to never find someone to love them back. If you want a women to know you love her, then you have to tell her. Unrequited love isn't love--it's obsession. Go be someone and make something of your life and start approaching women if you want to be with one
Idonthaveausername. preach sista. as you called it. obsession and concentrated subtle resentment. its a pathological condition, certainly not love. in this earth here, if you want the girl you gotta get it yourself. you can be a 10 in looks and if you never approach, you might die a virgin. oh yup i''ve seen that hapening to men.
@levantine99 I want to change, but it's not easy, they don't sell pills for self-confidence. I'm quite shy, it's not easy for me to make new connections, and most of my old friends are already married. How can I make new circles of friends? I appreciate your advice, you seem to know a lot about these things :)
@Idonthaveausername There was one time when I told a girl that I love her, but she got mad at me, she really traumatised me, and after that, I never had a courage to tell that to any other girl :(
you can both start approaching people in the street, to fight off your shyness, and also find a couple of hobbies and places to hang around, to find people with some similar interest. you should also hang around with higher level people than you so that you can take ideas from them and have the sort like mentors. but you should give back positivity and good ideas not neediness. you should do things contrary to your current mindset. choose the stairs over the elevator. choose the tougher choice. get out of your shell. hang around people that also are completely different than you, so that you can enrich your personality ith different traits. dont go for whats easy. you should LEARN TO LOVE TOUGH challenges. instead of a challenge avoider become a challenge seeker. find your passion in life, plan or realising and contribute your value to the world.
well she freaked out. its normal. you dont tell to someone you dont know you love her. grow some empathy. get in a girl's place and imagine all the weird feelings when someone comes and tells you that he loves you just from your external appearences. also you have to slowly grow a backbone and stop caring about people's image over you. you'll never stop having enemies, and the more awesome you grow to be the more haters (but lover and admirers as well) you will gather. but hey, thats a good sign, everyone who contributes to the world has enemies. only people that lock themselves in their basmements and offer nothing are unaffected by judgment. so you shouldt be affected. you should learn to pass girls shit tests with confidence. and not psychologically break from them. learn to love the game. life is spicy and playful.
Also become better at failing. really important. instead of repeating the same mistakes, which is the definition of insanity as the pop phrase says, try to learn from your mistakes and use them to your advantage. own your mistakes and stop taking everything seriously especially yourself. the more you let of this rigid ego front go, and the more pleasant and happy with yourself you become, the more attractive you get.
@levantine99 Sounds interesting, very good advices. Well, ego is not the problem, I'm actually very humble, I never brag, and I'm extremely polite, which can be strange for some people, I mean, why is it so weird to be respectful and never use the swear words? I wonder, should I go to college? I started college long time ago, but I gave up, because of chemistry, and now... I feel kinda sorry about it, maybe I should have finished it somehow, but it's never too late, what do you think?
exactly. i had 50 year old ladies with 3 kids in my class. and college is just the start. become competitive at something and sell yourself. thats what all good marketists do. even with women thats the secret. how you sell yourself. as for the ego thing, no doubt you are humble and low profile, but as you mature you'll discover there are many traps with that. staying in your comfort zone, is what this ego front comes up with to keep itself intact. you have to smash that. get yourself in embarassing situation. expose your self to the dangers of heartbreaks and betrayals. give love and unconditionally and learn to truly listen to people. only then you'll realise that all these years, building that shell around you, wasn't true humility but rather you not living to your potential.
All great advice. Finding hobbies, trying new things, and putting effort into improving yourself are all the best places to start. The better you become and the more new people you meet, the more likely you are to find someone you're compatible with
And yeah telling a girl you love her when you're not even in a relationship is creepy and absolutely not something a girl wants to hear
And you have the exact opposite problem of having to big of an ego--no self-esteem. Having self-esteem is just as important as not being too full of yourself. Finding a healthy balance of self-esteem and confidence is ideal, not having too big of an ego or no self-esteem at all
@levantine99 Well, I'm very shy so I was in lots of embarrassing situations already, but that's probably because I feel embarrassed in most of the situations when I have to talk in public, especially in front of attractive girls. My heart was broken and betrayed many times, I guess I wasn't much in a comfort zone, because it's not so difficult to hurt me... and my love was always unconditional, I never asked them for anything (my ego is most likely not in the game, it's something else). 50 years old ladies in college? That's cool, I suppose it's not too late for me then, thank you, you gave me a new hope :)
@Idonthaveausername But you said: "If you want a women to know you love her, then you have to tell her." - I told her because I wanted to be sincere with her, I wanted her to know about my feelings for her, I never meant to get her angry 😥 I think you are right, my self-esteem and confidence are too low, how can I repair them?
Letting a girl know you love her is extremely important when you're in a relationship, but telling her you love her when you're not in a relationship is a very bad idea. I loved my ex the first time he looked into my eyes, but I waited until we'd been together long enough to tell him and knew he'd be open to receiving it (he told me early on he wanted for me to love him and him to love me because he really liked and respected me as a person). He broke my heart when he cheated on me, but I know he regrets it and is much worse off without me, so I know I'll be able to move on from it in another couple months or so
Confidence comes with good self-esteem, so you must improve your self-esteem first. Those are both topics I've been meaning to write MyTakes on in the future, but I haven't gotten around to it yet. Start with making a list of 10 things you like about yourself and 10 things you don't. Fix each item on your "don't" list and use the "do" list as encouragement when feeling down
Self-esteem comes with acceptance and knowing that you're working on or have improved your flaws. I've met fat and ugly women with self esteem and confidence to knock insecure pretty girls out of the water, so that proves esteem comes from within and has nothing to do with looks. Yes improving your looks is one way to help improve your self-esteem, but that will only make you more insecure in the long-run if you neglect what's on the inside and the root of all your insecurity
Going to college sounds like a positive decision in your life, something that will give you a dream, ambition, focus, drive, and make you smarter, potentially give you a better job, and is something great to talk about when meeting new people. Women will probably find you more attractive because you'll be more intelligent and have a goal in life, so going to college will probably help you in more than one area of life
you've been in UNWILLINGLY embarassing situations. what i tell you is to fight your fears, and your negatively associated brain connections of interacting with women, and PURPOSELY dive your self in situations that can embarass or heartbreak you. sing loud in public, or in the club, go talk to random girls, say crazy jokes. get out of your comfort zone. embrace pain, hard work, and improvement. success in life is a mindset and a daily routine.
@Idonthaveausername I know that now, but considering my lack of experience, I didn't know that back then. Ok, Im looking forward to your myTakes in the future, about fixing self-esteem. Im glad you like my idea about going to college, I hope I'll meet some interesting people there, and I'm definitely going to start my gym membership again.
@levantine99 Well, I guess nobody wants to be willingly in embarassing situations. Shyness can be worse than fear, I can't sing, especially not in front of the public, but what would happen if I could? Hypotetically speaking, if I did that, people would most likely think that I'm insane, drunk or drugged, so it wouldn't really help me. I suppose I might try talking to random girls, though, I'm not a skillfull talker, and they would probably laugh at me... girls can be very cruel sometimes. Maybe some friends could help me in looking more confident? Interesting video by the way :)
you are too much in your head. caring of what others think. there is a great take of an Asian guy on this site that was like you, and when he learnt confidence and could get out of his shell he was suprised at how attractive he became. he went to a karaoke bar, and grabbed the mice without having a voice, and sang like a rockstar nonetheless. a girl approached him right afterwards and told him "i was amazed by your courage". women dig shit like that. as long as you are an insecure boy, living in his head, and living up to his little ego facade/persona, you won't go far in life.
@levantine99 Well, it's not about ego, I'm not an egotist you know. But I guess you're right about lots of stuff. What's the title of that Take, I'd like to read it?
i really tried to find it. pitty, it was an awesome take. well you have egoism just dont know it. whoever cares so much of being humiliated and of others opinion is prideful. and whomever can't get past his shell and share some deep, positive vibes and uninhibited fun with people is not a true human.
@levantine99 But I'm not proud of being humiliated, I'd much rather be treated nicely, though, it rarely happens. I would be so happy if a girl I like would at least be a good friend to me, but I usually end up as her subservient or worse. It's not that I want that, but if that's all I can get, what else can I do? All the girls treated me like that, some better, some worse, and I always complied, because I cared for them, not for the humiliation, I wanted them to be happy, not my ego. But in the end, my emotions were hurt badly, I was in agony for years (after every girl), that's how I became an emotional wreck. I guess I need some help to break the shell, or maybe I'm not a true human, perhaps I don't deserve to be happy, I suppose it's Karma or something like that :( Anyway, if you somehow find that Take, please let me know :)
dont give me these defeatist nonsense. you have the yet unrealised potential to become a great human. you only have to try. find mentors, people that can help you. you have a butterfly in a dormant state somewhere in this worm of a character. they keep stepping on you cause your current character attracts such persons and behaviors.
I always think it's so cute how women think they're looks could possibly be frightening in and of themselves. A desperate attempt to implant power in their own mind and exude that power. The claim on intimidation is an attempt to immaculate men just like the stereotypical question " why are men AFRAID of commitment."
Who wouldn't be when they stuck with a husband who so publicly cheated on her? All to advance her career goals and she ended up not attaining them anyway
A lot of women that I've met that think that they're "too intimidating" to men, just don't want to admit that being intimidating doesn't mean being a bitch.
I guess, dude. I still feel like someone can be intimidating by you being afraid of how they might negatively react. If I were a guy who met a women who was beautiful, had a job, was getting a decent salary, and I didn't feel adequate, I might be intimidated by her in the sense that I feel like if I came on to her she might reject me or I might be humiliated.
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Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
"strong women only intimidate weak men". no need to get judgmental of them. the way feminism turned women today no wonder noone wants to date a sassy slut. good ol traditional humble housewifes are mostly lost.
True good ol traditional humble housewifes are gone, but why do women insist on old fashion men? They are all mostly gone due to the product of feminism too. Zen of the day: the glass is already broken
So pretty much, if guys don't approach a girl, it's the guys fault, he's a pussy and has to man up. "So if there's a guy your eye draws itself to yet he seemingly ignores you, then quit wasting your time trying to grab his attention and focus on somebody else" pretty much means, sit in a new bar and wait because girls are entitled to attention from men.
LOL not at all, actually the opposite. MyTake addresses the woman's fault in not being sexually attractive to men and what a woman needs to do to improve her chances of being approached. This actually isn't about men at all
I never said women are entitled to attention from men. It is a fact that men approach women much more often than women approach men because biology has designed men with more testosterone to take more risks and be more visually stimulated. Men who don't approach women will lose out to men who are willing to approach women--this is on the men, not the women
Honestly an "uglier" girl has a better chance getting a guy by going out there and taking the initiative to talk to guys rather than sit around calling herself ugly.
I did not imply that women should only approach men, I've merely pointed out that men ask women out more often than women ask men out. Yes it is a double standard, but it is still a standard for a reason (biologically men take more risks than women due to testosterone and being visually stimulated...). Dating is full of double standards because men and women are hardwired differently. Complaining about them won't help you get a date, but understanding them and being able to use them to your advantage will. Life isn't fair, so complaining about double standards isn't going to get you anywhere
Well yes "ugly" girls have a better chance of initiating themselves. If you read MyTake, you'll see the part where I linked another MyTake about Improving attractiveness for average and unattractive women and stated using advice from both would be in their best interest
Idonthaveausername yeah you are partly right. life isn't fair and things work in certain ways either we like it or not. but i've tried to "be the guy" before in approaching and it worked. so nothing is absolute. other men would be intimidated or turned off for being deprived of the hunter element, but well, others dont mind it at all.
Haha I wouldn't ever be stupid enough to tell a girl that approaching a man herself wouldn't work out. Most men would be delighted and shocked if a beautiful woman fell into his lap. The problem is that when women throw themselves at men, they deprive themselves of being able to screen the man, gauge his level of interest and commitment in her, and most women just don't have the guts to do it. My point here is that it isn't necessary for women to approach men, but I wouldn't prevent a woman from doing so if she wanted to. But those women don't need advice. And I was going to add that last point, but it seems you've already added it
I myself prefer a dominant man with the hunter aspect, so I would never risk running him off by being too precocious. I'm a good, self-respecting girl and I want him to see my sweet, non-aggressive side first. I'm also a virgin and not down for sex or ONSs, so I don't want to give off that image or waste my time with those kinds of guys
Women who are in-your-face and aggressive are intimidating. Usually when a man gets attacked by a woman, physically or verbally people will assume he is the aggressor in the conflict even if the woman appears as the aggressor. Men naturally avoid women who are like this to minimize the risk of getting attacked verbally and physically as much as possible because it has nothing but negative consequences. Besides this, women who we typically see as intimidating also go out of their way to destroy your property. Its not men's fault, but women are simply more emotionally volatile. Thats a big factor. I believe you made some mistakes with this mytake because emotional self control in women can do a lot to make themselves less intimidating.
They are on your account which I checked out so I read all of them in succession. If thats stalking according to you I'd suggest putting your account on private.
Hahaha! I see men go after skanks all the time when I reject them. Guys will never admit it, but skanks wouldn't continue to act like they do if no men payed them any attention for it
usually the ones who approach the really beautiful women are not high-quality men. so i think you're mytake is not entirely accurate. the only ballsy men are the arrogant assholes. the good guys are usually intimidated by really beautiful women.
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
i usually dont hit on super hot chicks because i actually care about what they think. if i were to be rejected by average girls i wouldn't care
So if you had to get rejected by 9 hot girls to get accepted by the 10th and hottest girl, would the rejection from the first 9 hot girls still matter? What about if this 10th hot girl decides to marry you and you have a great relationship for the rest of your lives?
Really? no offense, but that is a mentality that doesn't make much sense. Its a known thing that "super hot" chicks are picky as fuck and more likely than not, narcissistic assholes. If i get rejected by some hot chick, i just fucking laugh... hell, might have even dodged a bullet too because most tend to skirt by on looks alone anyway. probably have a long line of rejected guys in their portfolio... it won't hurt. Now an average girl who doesn't get approached a lot, not that much guy history, if She were to reject me... i'd feel like shit. You don't have many options and i still got rejected? Its like trying to give a homeless person food or money, and because of something, they reject ur offer, maybe its your ethnicity, outfit, logo... something. That stings.. this person is willing to stay in their current position, than work with you lol.
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
68Opinion
Well if your at a night club 🍹 and you see a very pretty model like girl sitting at the bar, then you see another girl lets say she's on the big side wears glasses 👓 most men will think the model girl will more than likely turn me down or it will be too much work to get her, the other girl the guy might assume there's a very high chance there, to me though its all in the head.
And the point here isn't that most men are too insecure to approach the model. The point here is that a few men will approach her because they're drunk or brave enough. This was addressed to women who think they're too beautiful to ever be hit on when that simply isn't the case--they're not hit on at all because men don't see them as desirable
Love the last photo...
... or you have quads bigger than mine. I love athletic girls, but dude don't burn everything that makes you feminine off.
Haha I love that last one too, but have to admit she has given up a portion of her femininity to maintain that physique. Health and fitness is attractive, but women can loose attractiveness with fitness
I don't think it's necessarily intimidation, but rather guys thinking they're out of a girl's league.
no such thing as league... that just a place your mind puts you
@Tdieseler never said i was in that mindstate, i know a lot of other guys who think that way though..
the your didn't mean you. it was general, and yea, i know a ton of guys who think that way. Good news is, i have some who even feel stronger than i do about no league. We all have that ugly friend who always hits on the best looking girl in the vicinity, regardless of how many times they get shot down.
@Tdieseler And sometimes they actually do get a yes too. Confidence is a very poweful thing a guy can have in the dating game.
@Tdieseler Please spread the news about "no such thing as a league". I've been trying to tell all the guys that say that to me that it's not a thing but, they don't listen. Maybe they'd listen to you.
@CHRISENSIO And you spread the word "Confidence is a very poweful thing a guy can have in the dating game". It's totally woman approved and I know a lot of guys that you tell them that as a woman and they don't believe you.
Leagues don't exist, only people who are too shallow to get to know someone's personality first
Confidence is definitely woman-approved. I've only been interested in confident average guys because hot guys are always too cocky when they approach me and insecure ones are always awkward (not in the good way) about it
I've never been afraid or intimidated intimidating any women. I only had one say yes to a say. We're having cocktails at a place her boyfriend is drinking. I had no idea who he was, but he jumped in my face and I felt threatened, so I threw a right hand, broke his bro, was jaw for assault all while she came out smelling like a rose.
The same reason women don't approach intimidating men... nobody likes contentious, and offensive people, unless you like being dominated, but that can be cruel without a safeword.
Goodtake. Though there are exceptions to the masculine female rule such as terminally lesbian chick Ellen page.
The whole "I'm a strong independent feminist woman" speech and vibe is a serious turn off.
I'm curious too. I haven't really changed my eating habits but I'm doing this program 5x a week. It's fairly challenging, and after two weeks I can just barely get through. Will I see any results?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rV-87UCJvoQ&t=4sThere is a lot of truth to this. I never understood why women would say they are strong and independent, yet they still expect the man to approach them. If you're really all that, then ask a guy out and pay the bill.
Great take 👍👍
Thank you, but being a strong or independent woman has nothing to do with asking men out or paying the bill. Paying the bill depends on if you prefer traditional gender roles or modern feminist beliefs. Many women (like myself) aren't interested in asking out strangers until they get to know his personality, so asking out a random stranger isn't an appealing concept
Dependent women are actually much more likely to approach men than independent women. Independent women are comfortable living their lives and don't need men while dependent women attach themselves more quickly to new people and encourage people to provide for them by using their resources. But as I mentioned in MyTake, it's important for a woman to give up part of her independence when she cares about a man
Actually I don't find any women intimidating =P I just don't approach overly attractive women because 99% of the time all they have is their looks which after a weeks is boring af
to elevate yourself, you convince yourself all they have is their looks. hard to believe someone can have it all and not be interested in you?
I don't approach any women because I'm too shy, and I lack self-confidence. But I love intimidating type of woman, though, I always end up with unrequited love, friendzoned, or broken-hearted :(
You're not the kind of guy I'm talking about in this MyTake, but I like the positivity towards the women I am talking about
You need to make your feelings known immediately when you meet a woman or she'll friendzone you because she doesn't think you want anything more. Unrequited love is difficult, but cutting off a woman who doesn't have any interest in you is important in moving on to someone who actually does. Unfortunately everyone deals with a broken heart at one point in their lives, but the two best things to heal one are time and finding someone better
at 40 dude? maybe you should try becoming a monk and find enilghtment? this whole living in society/dating women think doesn't seem to be a sport cut for you.
I know, but it's difficult for me to cut off a woman I love, regardless of her lack of affection for me :(
@levantine99 I'm not 40 yet, and I'm not looking for enlightenment, all I need is love, and I never had it 😢
then maybe you'll find divine love through enlightment. cause with women's love, if you are that "unlucky" at 40 you are playing the wrong sport... .
@levantine99 I said Im not 40 yet, and I dont care about "other sports". The thing is, I was in love four times in my life, and every time, it was an unrequited love. Each time I was heart-broken for years. That's how I lost years and years of my life... drowning in heartache and depression, thinking about the women I loved ðŸ˜
your fault. no empathy for you. if it leaves you broken its not real love, its unrequited egoism got hurt.
@levantine99 Real love can break anyone, how can you be so insensitive? 😢
real love never broke me only made me stronger and happier. only ego plays, mistakes and narcissism got me hurt.
@levantine99 I'm not an egotist nor narcissist, the only thing that hurts me is unrequited love.
which is not love. cause if you really loved them you'd find peace and happiness in the fact they are with someone hwo makes them happy even if that its not you. and if all you had in your life was unrequited love, thats because you are a beta man that can't keep a woman. go learn some game.
@levantine99 I am actually happy for them, I just want them to be happy, but I'm sad because I'm alone :(
search in you whats at fault. i dont personally know you but can already picture you. a people's pleaser, a "nice guy", withering, non assertive, non sexual, non socially savy, not very successful and with any form of high status. too much living in your head. too much being a tryhard goodie in two shoes.
@levantine99 Yes, you are mostly right, that's amazing, are you some sort of psychic?
your psychological profile fits perfectly with that of eternally friendzoned beta male. it wasn't that hard to guess. its like having a picture of you in front of me. you are not too old to change your life. rsd channels and fearless man channels on youtube might help you. but only if you start implementing their teachings with daily practice.
what you currently dont understand at your current level of consciousness, is that much of what you consider niceness in you is just a coping mechanism and a psychological front you'll be feeding since childhood as a survival mechanism.
some parts of you, deep inside you, are for some weird reasons happy and hedonized with the status quo. and to preserve that have come up with all sorts of post hoc rationalisations, distortions of reality and excuses. some other parts in you really wanna see change, but are currently kept dormant. you should search all these deeper demons of yours and exorcise them. only you can get you out of the state of misery and into a state of abundance.
@levantine99 Ok, I understand, thanks for the support, what do you think... what's the best way to get rid of the state of misery in my life?
change. you lived all your life as the passive receiver. for once you should start being the source. you should enhance your presense. you should have an impact in the world and goals which you pursuit and successfuly complete. you should break your ego front. you've been feeding this front for 4 decades. do crazy things you would consider impossible before. challenge yourself, take modern dance classes, go to a karaoke party and confidently sing like a rockstar even if you have no game. be the soul of the party. get out of your self and start approaching people everywhere. even for a simple greeting. without any agenda or underlying goals, just for the fun of the interaction. learn to have fun out of socialising and flirting with women. instead of a tedious process, create connections in your brain that associate it with fun and pleasure. become an avid student of females and the human creature in general. build a good social circle.
@levantine99
You put it very bluntly, but I agree with you. Men who spend their lives passively watching women go after other guys because they're too insecure to go up to her themselves are doomed to never find someone to love them back. If you want a women to know you love her, then you have to tell her. Unrequited love isn't love--it's obsession. Go be someone and make something of your life and start approaching women if you want to be with one
Idonthaveausername. preach sista. as you called it. obsession and concentrated subtle resentment. its a pathological condition, certainly not love. in this earth here, if you want the girl you gotta get it yourself. you can be a 10 in looks and if you never approach, you might die a virgin. oh yup i''ve seen that hapening to men.
@levantine99 I want to change, but it's not easy, they don't sell pills for self-confidence. I'm quite shy, it's not easy for me to make new connections, and most of my old friends are already married. How can I make new circles of friends? I appreciate your advice, you seem to know a lot about these things :)
@Idonthaveausername There was one time when I told a girl that I love her, but she got mad at me, she really traumatised me, and after that, I never had a courage to tell that to any other girl :(
you can both start approaching people in the street, to fight off your shyness, and also find a couple of hobbies and places to hang around, to find people with some similar interest. you should also hang around with higher level people than you so that you can take ideas from them and have the sort like mentors. but you should give back positivity and good ideas not neediness. you should do things contrary to your current mindset. choose the stairs over the elevator. choose the tougher choice. get out of your shell. hang around people that also are completely different than you, so that you can enrich your personality ith different traits. dont go for whats easy. you should LEARN TO LOVE TOUGH challenges. instead of a challenge avoider become a challenge seeker. find your passion in life, plan or realising and contribute your value to the world.
well she freaked out. its normal. you dont tell to someone you dont know you love her. grow some empathy. get in a girl's place and imagine all the weird feelings when someone comes and tells you that he loves you just from your external appearences. also you have to slowly grow a backbone and stop caring about people's image over you. you'll never stop having enemies, and the more awesome you grow to be the more haters (but lover and admirers as well) you will gather. but hey, thats a good sign, everyone who contributes to the world has enemies. only people that lock themselves in their basmements and offer nothing are unaffected by judgment. so you shouldt be affected. you should learn to pass girls shit tests with confidence. and not psychologically break from them. learn to love the game. life is spicy and playful.
Also become better at failing. really important. instead of repeating the same mistakes, which is the definition of insanity as the pop phrase says, try to learn from your mistakes and use them to your advantage. own your mistakes and stop taking everything seriously especially yourself. the more you let of this rigid ego front go, and the more pleasant and happy with yourself you become, the more attractive you get.
@levantine99 Sounds interesting, very good advices. Well, ego is not the problem, I'm actually very humble, I never brag, and I'm extremely polite, which can be strange for some people, I mean, why is it so weird to be respectful and never use the swear words? I wonder, should I go to college? I started college long time ago, but I gave up, because of chemistry, and now... I feel kinda sorry about it, maybe I should have finished it somehow, but it's never too late, what do you think?
exactly. i had 50 year old ladies with 3 kids in my class. and college is just the start. become competitive at something and sell yourself. thats what all good marketists do. even with women thats the secret. how you sell yourself.
as for the ego thing, no doubt you are humble and low profile, but as you mature you'll discover there are many traps with that. staying in your comfort zone, is what this ego front comes up with to keep itself intact. you have to smash that. get yourself in embarassing situation. expose your self to the dangers of heartbreaks and betrayals. give love and unconditionally and learn to truly listen to people. only then you'll realise that all these years, building that shell around you, wasn't true humility but rather you not living to your potential.
@levantine99
All great advice. Finding hobbies, trying new things, and putting effort into improving yourself are all the best places to start. The better you become and the more new people you meet, the more likely you are to find someone you're compatible with
And yeah telling a girl you love her when you're not even in a relationship is creepy and absolutely not something a girl wants to hear
And you have the exact opposite problem of having to big of an ego--no self-esteem. Having self-esteem is just as important as not being too full of yourself. Finding a healthy balance of self-esteem and confidence is ideal, not having too big of an ego or no self-esteem at all
@levantine99 Well, I'm very shy so I was in lots of embarrassing situations already, but that's probably because I feel embarrassed in most of the situations when I have to talk in public, especially in front of attractive girls. My heart was broken and betrayed many times, I guess I wasn't much in a comfort zone, because it's not so difficult to hurt me... and my love was always unconditional, I never asked them for anything (my ego is most likely not in the game, it's something else). 50 years old ladies in college? That's cool, I suppose it's not too late for me then, thank you, you gave me a new hope :)
@Idonthaveausername But you said: "If you want a women to know you love her, then you have to tell her." - I told her because I wanted to be sincere with her, I wanted her to know about my feelings for her, I never meant to get her angry 😥
I think you are right, my self-esteem and confidence are too low, how can I repair them?
Letting a girl know you love her is extremely important when you're in a relationship, but telling her you love her when you're not in a relationship is a very bad idea. I loved my ex the first time he looked into my eyes, but I waited until we'd been together long enough to tell him and knew he'd be open to receiving it (he told me early on he wanted for me to love him and him to love me because he really liked and respected me as a person). He broke my heart when he cheated on me, but I know he regrets it and is much worse off without me, so I know I'll be able to move on from it in another couple months or so
Confidence comes with good self-esteem, so you must improve your self-esteem first. Those are both topics I've been meaning to write MyTakes on in the future, but I haven't gotten around to it yet. Start with making a list of 10 things you like about yourself and 10 things you don't. Fix each item on your "don't" list and use the "do" list as encouragement when feeling down
Self-esteem comes with acceptance and knowing that you're working on or have improved your flaws. I've met fat and ugly women with self esteem and confidence to knock insecure pretty girls out of the water, so that proves esteem comes from within and has nothing to do with looks. Yes improving your looks is one way to help improve your self-esteem, but that will only make you more insecure in the long-run if you neglect what's on the inside and the root of all your insecurity
Going to college sounds like a positive decision in your life, something that will give you a dream, ambition, focus, drive, and make you smarter, potentially give you a better job, and is something great to talk about when meeting new people. Women will probably find you more attractive because you'll be more intelligent and have a goal in life, so going to college will probably help you in more than one area of life
you've been in UNWILLINGLY embarassing situations. what i tell you is to fight your fears, and your negatively associated brain connections of interacting with women, and PURPOSELY dive your self in situations that can embarass or heartbreak you. sing loud in public, or in the club, go talk to random girls, say crazy jokes. get out of your comfort zone. embrace pain, hard work, and improvement. success in life is a mindset and a daily routine.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oEFvTcpVBpc
@Idonthaveausername I know that now, but considering my lack of experience, I didn't know that back then.
Ok, Im looking forward to your myTakes in the future, about fixing self-esteem.
Im glad you like my idea about going to college, I hope I'll meet some interesting people there, and I'm definitely going to start my gym membership again.
@levantine99 Well, I guess nobody wants to be willingly in embarassing situations. Shyness can be worse than fear, I can't sing, especially not in front of the public, but what would happen if I could?
Hypotetically speaking, if I did that, people would most likely think that I'm insane, drunk or drugged, so it wouldn't really help me.
I suppose I might try talking to random girls, though, I'm not a skillfull talker, and they would probably laugh at me... girls can be very cruel sometimes.
Maybe some friends could help me in looking more confident?
Interesting video by the way :)
you are too much in your head. caring of what others think. there is a great take of an Asian guy on this site that was like you, and when he learnt confidence and could get out of his shell he was suprised at how attractive he became. he went to a karaoke bar, and grabbed the mice without having a voice, and sang like a rockstar nonetheless. a girl approached him right afterwards and told him "i was amazed by your courage". women dig shit like that. as long as you are an insecure boy, living in his head, and living up to his little ego facade/persona, you won't go far in life.
@levantine99 Well, it's not about ego, I'm not an egotist you know. But I guess you're right about lots of stuff. What's the title of that Take, I'd like to read it?
i really tried to find it. pitty, it was an awesome take. well you have egoism just dont know it. whoever cares so much of being humiliated and of others opinion is prideful. and whomever can't get past his shell and share some deep, positive vibes and uninhibited fun with people is not a true human.
@levantine99 But I'm not proud of being humiliated, I'd much rather be treated nicely, though, it rarely happens. I would be so happy if a girl I like would at least be a good friend to me, but I usually end up as her subservient or worse. It's not that I want that, but if that's all I can get, what else can I do? All the girls treated me like that, some better, some worse, and I always complied, because I cared for them, not for the humiliation, I wanted them to be happy, not my ego. But in the end, my emotions were hurt badly, I was in agony for years (after every girl), that's how I became an emotional wreck.
I guess I need some help to break the shell, or maybe I'm not a true human, perhaps I don't deserve to be happy, I suppose it's Karma or something like that :(
Anyway, if you somehow find that Take, please let me know :)
dont give me these defeatist nonsense. you have the yet unrealised potential to become a great human. you only have to try. find mentors, people that can help you. you have a butterfly in a dormant state somewhere in this worm of a character. they keep stepping on you cause your current character attracts such persons and behaviors.
@levantine99 Ok, I'll try, I'm glad at least someone has faith in me, thank you so much :)
I always think it's so cute how women think they're looks could possibly be frightening in and of themselves. A desperate attempt to implant power in their own mind and exude that power.
The claim on intimidation is an attempt to immaculate men just like the stereotypical question " why are men AFRAID of commitment."
Lol emasculate* my B
Hillary Clinton has a forced smiled because she's miserable
Who wouldn't be when they stuck with a husband who so publicly cheated on her? All to advance her career goals and she ended up not attaining them anyway
A lot of women that I've met that think that they're "too intimidating" to men, just don't want to admit that being intimidating doesn't mean being a bitch.
I guess, dude. I still feel like someone can be intimidating by you being afraid of how they might negatively react. If I were a guy who met a women who was beautiful, had a job, was getting a decent salary, and I didn't feel adequate, I might be intimidated by her in the sense that I feel like if I came on to her she might reject me or I might be humiliated.
"strong women only intimidate weak men". no need to get judgmental of them. the way feminism turned women today no wonder noone wants to date a sassy slut. good ol traditional humble housewifes are mostly lost.
True good ol traditional humble housewifes are gone, but why do women insist on old fashion men? They are all mostly gone due to the product of feminism too.
Zen of the day: the glass is already broken
So pretty much, if guys don't approach a girl, it's the guys fault, he's a pussy and has to man up. "So if there's a guy your eye draws itself to yet he seemingly ignores you, then quit wasting your time trying to grab his attention and focus on somebody else" pretty much means, sit in a new bar and wait because girls are entitled to attention from men.
LOL not at all, actually the opposite. MyTake addresses the woman's fault in not being sexually attractive to men and what a woman needs to do to improve her chances of being approached. This actually isn't about men at all
I never said women are entitled to attention from men. It is a fact that men approach women much more often than women approach men because biology has designed men with more testosterone to take more risks and be more visually stimulated. Men who don't approach women will lose out to men who are willing to approach women--this is on the men, not the women
Idonthaveausername you implied though that only men should approach. which is blatantly wrong and double standardish... .
you're backing up my point...
@levantine99 the things is, if it's a double standard she should call it one, not pretend its' not.
Honestly an "uglier" girl has a better chance getting a guy by going out there and taking the initiative to talk to guys rather than sit around calling herself ugly.
@levantine99
I did not imply that women should only approach men, I've merely pointed out that men ask women out more often than women ask men out. Yes it is a double standard, but it is still a standard for a reason (biologically men take more risks than women due to testosterone and being visually stimulated...). Dating is full of double standards because men and women are hardwired differently. Complaining about them won't help you get a date, but understanding them and being able to use them to your advantage will. Life isn't fair, so complaining about double standards isn't going to get you anywhere
Well yes "ugly" girls have a better chance of initiating themselves. If you read MyTake, you'll see the part where I linked another MyTake about Improving attractiveness for average and unattractive women and stated using advice from both would be in their best interest
Idonthaveausername yeah you are partly right. life isn't fair and things work in certain ways either we like it or not. but i've tried to "be the guy" before in approaching and it worked. so nothing is absolute. other men would be intimidated or turned off for being deprived of the hunter element, but well, others dont mind it at all.
@levantine99
Haha I wouldn't ever be stupid enough to tell a girl that approaching a man herself wouldn't work out. Most men would be delighted and shocked if a beautiful woman fell into his lap. The problem is that when women throw themselves at men, they deprive themselves of being able to screen the man, gauge his level of interest and commitment in her, and most women just don't have the guts to do it. My point here is that it isn't necessary for women to approach men, but I wouldn't prevent a woman from doing so if she wanted to. But those women don't need advice. And I was going to add that last point, but it seems you've already added it
I myself prefer a dominant man with the hunter aspect, so I would never risk running him off by being too precocious. I'm a good, self-respecting girl and I want him to see my sweet, non-aggressive side first. I'm also a virgin and not down for sex or ONSs, so I don't want to give off that image or waste my time with those kinds of guys
Women who are in-your-face and aggressive are intimidating. Usually when a man gets attacked by a woman, physically or verbally people will assume he is the aggressor in the conflict even if the woman appears as the aggressor. Men naturally avoid women who are like this to minimize the risk of getting attacked verbally and physically as much as possible because it has nothing but negative consequences. Besides this, women who we typically see as intimidating also go out of their way to destroy your property. Its not men's fault, but women are simply more emotionally volatile. Thats a big factor. I believe you made some mistakes with this mytake because emotional self control in women can do a lot to make themselves less intimidating.
I believe you've made a mistake in stalking myTakes like your volitile emotions matter. Silly troll
They are on your account which I checked out so I read all of them in succession. If thats stalking according to you I'd suggest putting your account on private.
Actually men are cunts to admit they don't appreach skanks real truth lol
What's that supposed to mean , girl?
Hahaha! I see men go after skanks all the time when I reject them. Guys will never admit it, but skanks wouldn't continue to act like they do if no men payed them any attention for it
usually the ones who approach the really beautiful women are not high-quality men. so i think you're mytake is not entirely accurate. the only ballsy men are the arrogant assholes. the good guys are usually intimidated by really beautiful women.
i usually dont hit on super hot chicks because i actually care about what they think. if i were to be rejected by average girls i wouldn't care
So if you had to get rejected by 9 hot girls to get accepted by the 10th and hottest girl, would the rejection from the first 9 hot girls still matter? What about if this 10th hot girl decides to marry you and you have a great relationship for the rest of your lives?
Sucks for you keep chasing the hoes
im not saying it in a hateful way im telling you why i dont its nerve racking
Really? no offense, but that is a mentality that doesn't make much sense.
Its a known thing that "super hot" chicks are picky as fuck and more likely than not, narcissistic assholes.
If i get rejected by some hot chick, i just fucking laugh... hell, might have even dodged a bullet too because most tend to skirt by on looks alone anyway. probably have a long line of rejected guys in their portfolio... it won't hurt.
Now an average girl who doesn't get approached a lot, not that much guy history, if She were to reject me... i'd feel like shit. You don't have many options and i still got rejected?
Its like trying to give a homeless person food or money, and because of something, they reject ur offer, maybe its your ethnicity, outfit, logo... something. That stings.. this person is willing to stay in their current position, than work with you lol.