Why Women Expect Guys to Pay for Dates (Page 2)
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Sure. He needs to show intent. If he's too weak or broke to do that you're never gonna go for him anyway. LOOOOOSSSSERRRRR. :)
Ok, but when guys want women to be traditional it's frowned upon. So basically dating has become only beneficial to women.
Can you give me an example of a traditional female role? I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting a woman to handle the cooking and cleaning.
Also for men to take charge, and do more of the domestic stuff. I am okay if women expect men to be traditional, but when they don't want to do anything in return that's an instant turn-off
I believe that any relationship is about fulfilling each other's needs and compromising. I don't see anything inherently wrong with expecting a woman to play her part in a relationship. It's up to both partners figure out what their needs are and if one partner finds that his/her needs are not being met, he/she has the right to end the relationship.
Can you give reasoning for it that isn't just you getting what you enjoy from men?
Like, is there a justification of this that we would call fair? Just curious.
Expecting the woman to cook and clean is pretty fair.
So when I'm paying for a date, you're agreeing to clean my house and cook me food? Is that the social contract that is really taking place?
Typically the paying for dates is part of the courtship process. Cooking and cleaning comes after you're both living together. Although, I wouldn't mind cooking or cleaning for a boyfriend from time to time if I'm just visiting him.
During the courtship process, you're just trying to show her why she should choose you and why you would make a good a good partner.
Yeah, but how are you trying to show me why I should choose you and why you would make a good partner?
That takes place on the date. The common interests, conversations, stories...
Yes and we're both doing that, so how can you tack on 'the guy should pay' and still call it fair?
It is fair because you're getting something out of it. It's not like you're wasting your money. Somebody has to pay and if you're the one who is interested in her (in a game that is typically unfair to men and gives girls more options than guys do), you should do that to keep her interest. Because let me tell you, if you're not willing to pay for her date, there are plenty of guys waiting in line who would be more than happy to do so. This just shows that the vast majority of men are traditional. So if you want to be ahead of the game, you need to suck it up. Think about it.
Plus, you don't need to give a guy money just to be "fair'. Packing his lunch, babysitting his dogs or kids (if he has any), doing his laundry, helping him with any school assignments (if he's still in school), etc... are all ways of giving back. It doesn't have to be all about the money. It's so sad that many guys are willing to put their money before their women.
So IF the relationship works out then there's some favor she'll do for me down the line that she otherwise wouldn't have done in the midst the other thousand things she does for me simply because she's likes me?
But whatever, that's a hole in your argument that don't really care about.
The vast majority of men are not traditional. They're *willing* to act traditional here.
And no shit, I am I too. I understand they this is a thing that happens and yes I think it's the best strategy and that's why I do it. But lets be clear, it is a *strategy.* It's not fairness or equality or any of that mess. It's treated as a problem that needs to be solved, problems have no need to be fair for those who attempt them and the solution to this on is to pay.
So once more, this is strategic, not fair, and that's what I want o hear from you. Yes I have no choice but to accept this bs from women but let's not for a second make this out to be fair, ok? That's what really irks me.
I hate to break it to you, but life is not fair. It is what it is and unfortunately, you can't change that. Dating is a gamble. It may or it may not work out in your favor. it's no different for girls who sleep with guys and risk never hearing from him again after the lay.
"girls who sleep with guys and risk never hearing from him again after the lay"
Except that applies to guys as well. God these are such awful comparisons; because if your counter-point is something both men and women face then you can't say it's an issue girls deal with that guys don't face by comparison.
Even though our society values fairness and we aspire to it, yes life is inherently unfair. So why are you trying to smooth it over with these attempts at comparison between men and women's situations? Why not just be the one to say 'this is what I want' and then drop the microphone?
These are great comparisons. You just don't know how to respond to them because you don't have anything to rebut. I don't blame you though. I wouldn't have much to argue if I were on your end. The point is that if you don't want to pay for a date because there's no guarantee that the girl will return your favor down the line, you're in for a lifelong set of disappointments because nothing in life is a guarantee. Just like having sex with a guy doesn't guarantee he will call her back. Is it fair? no. But, it is what it is.
In addition, men can easily have sex without the emotional attachment, unlike most girls can, so you don't really have a argument there. Perhaps only a single-digit percentage will be hurt after not hearing from a girl
"Why not just be the one to say 'this is what I want' and then drop the microphone?"--Because this isn't just what I want. It's what most women want and most men as well. It's only on here that I've seen so much bitching and tantrums over
*over paying for dates.
"men can easily have sex without the emotional attachment, unlike most girls can, so you don't really have a argument there. Perhaps only a single-digit percentage will be hurt after not hearing from a girl"
1. I vehemently disagree with that.
2. Prove it.
3. Would it even matter?
So would I be an asshole for not calling back?
"most men"
I don't think you speak for most men. They don't want that, as I explained earlier.
"Because this isn't just what I want."
That's what I meant. I meant for you to say 'this is what I want' on behalf of women. Which brings us back to my original comment, you can't give reasoning for this that isn't just you (women) getting what you enjoy from men. Yet for some reason you're trying to justify it to me as if there's some kind of moral high-ground here for you.
I don't pay for women that don't belong to me officially.
Up to date #3, I'll pay. After that, it'd be nice if she offered.
Id do either not even sure why i'm reading this im nearly 25 and iv all but given up on dating.
If you say it's traditional, well so is women staying in the kitchen and not being able to vote. Just go 50-50
I actually don't think there's anything wrong with expecting your woman to cook and clean. I would be more than happy to do those things. As far as voting, it's a constitutional right that was denied to women because they were considered to be inferior and far less intelligent than men given that they were uneducated. It had nothing to do with wanting to follow traditions, but rather exercising "good judgment" by allowing those who were intellectual decide what was best for our country back then. The same reason applied to African-Americans who were not allowed to vote because they were uneducated as well.
A man is stupid if he pays for a woman on the 1st date. A real man never lets another woman take advantage of him except in bed. He should only pay for dates when it's his girlfriend.
That's your opinion, but remember that most women expect you to pay on the first date and will be turned off by that kind of attitude.
It's called not letting another woman walk all over me.
I think women would feel the same way about having sex with you without courtship.
So if I pay for the date I'm guaranteed sex, yes?
What? No? Oh so why am I buying her again?
Escorts charge for their time. Why not just buy an escort since that's the same thing I'm doing by buying her time?
At least those escorts give you some action afterwards 100% per agreement.
It's pretty sad that you all have to make this about sex. Dating is all about making memories, sharing stories together, making each other laugh, being a shoulder to cry on for the other person, motivating one another, etc.. Sex is just another perk, but it's not everything. The fact that you're willing to put money before the woman you're interested in and prioritize sex, says a lot about your character. Most girls wouldn't be missing out on much by not having a guy who thinks of her as something "bought".
https://youtu.be/0qFv5WOwstU
This isn't only about sex, this is about a relationship between two grown adults of the opposite gender. In a relationship there is this thing called "mutual".
So what does the guy get out of the deal by paying? He's paying for her time. She could have those memories with anyone... so long as they pay. Same as an escort.
I can't tell if you just tried a Charge of Misogyny or Charge of Fanaticism...
Love can't be bought. Escorts or prostitutes aren't there to give you anything more than short-term companionship or sex, so you really don't have an argument there. And notice how you just contradicted yourself by saying that you don't want to pay for a date, but would be willing to pay for an escort, which can cost several hundred dollars an hour lol. If you want to have great memories with an escort beyond the sex for an extended period of time, I really hope you're a millionaire.
All I'm saying is if you don't want to pay, that's perfectly fine. Just know that the dating game gives women the upper hand and it's extremely competitive for guys. If you're going to whine and throw temper tantrums over paying for a woman's date, there are millions of guys waiting in line who gladly will.
Love doesn't exist. I've never experienced it. I've heard it exists but never having experienced it I don't think it's real.
Kinda. And in this case i can see why more men start going MGTOW. I don't blame them for it. It's for the best generally.
It's a trending worldwide
You are gold diggers otherwise you wouldn't expect men to buy you everything.
I never once said that guys should buy women everything. This mytake focuses on paying for dates only. It's up to both partners to decide who will pay for what else as far as bills and other household expenses go, if you are both living together.
Ok so why do men put in most of the work during the initial dating process which includes paying? All that stuff you said doesn't mean anything until you establish a long lasting relationship. I don't understand why so many of you women wait until the guy throws all his cards on the table before you throw your's.
Again, this is just how traditional gender roles work. You have every right to be against it and find women who are modern, and who would be more than happy to pay for your dates. Of course, only a small percentage of women would do that, but they're out there!
Because they're entitled and or spoiled gold diggers.
Remember boys, it's all about the $$$!
You're absolutely right. Only "boys" not men, uphold that mentality.
Boys grow up to be men. Decent men have this knowledge already.
Gold diggers LOVE it when men spend their money on them!!! The more the better for the gold diggers!
I don't disagree with that at all. In fact, I would say that a good way to attract gold diggers is by offering her to buy her stuff. Especially strippers who supposedly are "independent career-oriented women" lol. Some strippers make 90k+ a year in Las Vegas. And guess what? They want more!
These women who make enough money to support themselves will date an 80 year old just to have access to millions of dollars like Anna Nicole Smith did. These women will even marry these men without any intention of ever falling in love with them. They could care less if he has a good personality or good looks. They're just after the wallet. However, being traditional does not equate to gold digging. I put personality and physical attraction before money. I have gone out on dates with men who make A LOT of money and guess what? I never texted them back after they asked for a second date. Want to know why? Because money isn't everything. If I'm not feeling it, I won't keep dating them.
A true gold digger would have kept on stringing this guy along to get whatever she can out of him, and then move on to the next guy once he couldn't give her what she wanted anymore. There are lots of girls like that out there. You just haven't been exposed enough. You will eventually at some point in your life, come across women like the strippers I mentioned, and you will look back and say "Wow, these traditional women are actually angels. Dating isn't really the fairy tale I thought it was."
"Traditional" women, who like it when men spend their money on them are no better. They are leeching off from their finances. They won't look twice on a man, who can't afford it for whatever reason.
MONEY MAKES PUSSY WET!!! It is what many women are after!
No thanks. I would like to find a modern woman, who splits the bill without that entitlement.
It's all about the MONEY!
Wanting to date someone who can afford dates is not called "leeching" off. It's called desiring financial stability and wanting a normal traditional relationship. Money is very important in a relationship and if you can't afford to pay for dates, what makes you think you can afford to build a family? Putting personality before wealth is not "leeching off". It's called being a traditional human being. You can argue back and forth all day long, but it's not going to change.
Gold diggers and bitches love money. For women like you money is the most important thing in finding a partner. Or should i say finding a sugar daddy.
More money spent means you want him more. It's like betting for the money hungry gold digger. There is also probably a magic number in which the financial victim has to spend as a minimum in order to impress money hungry leeches. Money truly controls some females in this aspect.
Nice MyTake
sexist