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It's a good idea for women to find the men they are interested in and seek them out. If you wait for guys to come to you you will have to wade through a lot of riff raff. That's how I approach dating- just go for the one you want.
Agreed
Only asked my boyfriend out, if he had said no I would never do it again. Plus both sexes don't want do it cause they fear one thing: rejection.
Cool!
I wanna comment on something. The dressing up part, there was a woman in my workplace who would hit on me saying stuff like oh you always dressed up what's the occasion?
It was stupid because that was the regular me everyday..
I'd only call someone they're dressed up if they were wearing complete formal outfits..
Regarding dates.. less is more.
As a shy guy, I agree with this entirely, If a girl took the initiative to ask me out she would go from a 6/10 to a 7/10 (assuming she was a 6)
Today I got bit emotional after reading your take. There is someone who understand us men...:'(
Aww thank you! I try
was just kidding but yeah all that you wrote should have happened if you really wanna see some equality within this world.
Hopefully more women start to go down this route like you have. I think it's pretty hot!
Thanks!
Yeah right. Maybe in a world where men aren't taught how to be men anymore. Maybe in a world where men are taught how to court women through porn rather than by their absent fathers. That'll be the day... oh wait... shit.
I agree so much with you! Really! I don't understand myself why we practice this age old practice when most of the old age practices are obsolete these days?
Strange!
Basically - shy people are screwed. Sorry but these advices "don't be shy" are on the same level as "stop being poor" or "stop being depressed" and don't help people at all. The rest are on point though.
At least shy girls get asked out time to time, no girl comes up to shy guy ever.
@Armourdillo It's doesn't work that way in my case, but in general I agree - it's more difficult for shy men, cause still it's more expected for them to make a first move. I wouldn't say "not ever", cause still that happens ( asking a shy guy out ) but it's more rare.
so your saying you should be entitled to male attention without socializing.
@Armourdillo What? No. I agree that shy men have it more difficult. Not because they should, but because of society is as it is.
oh sorry for the misunderstanding. So things will never get better?
@Armourdillo I think they will, things start to change.
In all honesty shy is essentially a nice way of saying that someone has bad social skills. Don't compare being shy to something as serious as being depressed. Even the most outgoing people get nervous and insecure. With practice everything becomes better. So practice talking to and approaching new and unfamiliar people and building your social skills.
Before I started asking guys out, I'd never even imagined doing it. but then I fell hard for this guy who wouldn't notice me. it was the will of wanting him that gave me the courage. Shy people don't have to be shy forever.
quite agree, there's no reason why a woman can't ask a man out.
I really like this and I want to stress the point that at least some men don't get hints and even the not so subtle ones I can attest to this as a thick headed man who many things need to be put bluntly with me or it goes over my head.
Girls in the comments get so defensive about this, is it because rejection sucks and they feel only guys should experience it?
I think it has more to do with traditionalism. Some girls like to keep things "basic" even though times are clearly changing.
I think its more of a shameful feeling. I mean it is hard enough for guys and I guess socially women haven't developed how to deal with rejection as well as guys do. Granted most guys don't handle it well, but compared to women we do take it better.
Please, just be blunt, some of the subtle flirtation goes right over our heads... At least it does with me.
It would be awesome if more women were like you.
Thank you :)
basically unless i am extremely lucky when i try again, the only way i'm going to have a relationship is if the woman approaches me first.
If you want a woman to approach you, you should be friendly and approachable :)
Fuck the "times have changed" bullshit. Traditional all the way! Until women make more money than men do, they need to continue to ask the woman out AND pay for the date.
What the hell are you talking about? A lot of women DO make more than the man. That "women are paid less than men" stuff refers to STATISTICS, not every individual man and women. It is quite common for a pair in which the women makes more than the man.
@zagor How do you explain the fact that women are making less money than men for the SAME exact position? It's not just statistics.
Read this official news article: m.huffpost.com/.../us_5703cb8de4b0a06d5806e03f
Even if the gender wage gap thing were to be fixed, men are still far more superior than women are in the workplace. Men are biologically stronger and are more likely to get hired for certain positions over women because they are perceived to be "weak". Stop making up excuses and just admit that you guys want to have your cake and eat it too.
Hmm... I do see where you're coming from. I'm all for gender equality. But if we want it to happen, isn't that all the more reason that more women should start taking charge and asking guys out?
@asker, I'm all for equality as well, but it seems like guys want equality only when it's convenient for them. They use equality as an excuse for not wanting to ask out or pay for dates, yet when it comes to domestic work and jobs, they don't want equality. I like to think of it as guys wanting to stick it in a girl's butt, yet not wanting anything stuck in theirs. Pretty weird analogy, but it's tantanamous to what their attitudes towards equality is.
*tantamous
People don't only date people who work the same job! So if a guy who is a mechanic dates a heart surgeon, he must make more than her?
Well then we women need to keep striving for equality, don't we? If we treat men like they're in control they'll continue to control us. As for money, even if it's a simple act like paying for a meal letting the guy pay gives them some sort of "power". I've come across guys who say they like paying for dates because it makes them feel "like a man". So I don't think letting them take charge in dating will help make equality happen. :(
Good luck with your dating life having an outdated attitude like that. Most guys who are all for gender equality, like myself, wouldn't want to date a girl who has sexist beliefs like this.
@zagor I'm specifically talking about jobs within a company where a female is making less than her male counterpart for the same exact job. There is an income disparity between males and females in many companies. See this article:
www.washingtonpost.com/.../?utm_term=.883c39ca90c5
This has nothing to do with whether a female chooses to be a teacher rather than a NASA aerospace engineer.
@asker, We need to convey the message that equality is for both genders by punishing them. If they don't want to treat women equally in the workforce, then we don't need to award them with equality in the dating world either.
*reward
@blueguy932000 Only sexist guys refuse to admit that men have it easier than women do. Good luck finding a girl who will put up with your ignorance. I certainly wouldn't.
Enjoy your cats.
OK, now I understand what your point is - and it's nutty as hell. So individual men must pay because of longtime social trends.
"Men have it easier than women do." You can't confidently say that one gender has it easier than the other unless you've walked in the shoes of both. A feminist author, Norah Vincent disguised herself as a male to live amongst men for 18 months before declaring that female privilege is better to have and that she is glad she is female. A woman, a feminist at that, declared it is better being a woman in America so your argument is invalid. What is sexist is having the belief that inequality is still exclusive to women and that men should be punished even though women have plenty of privileges and advantages that we do not. Since a "wage gap" is still apparently benefiting men and it's unfair for women to have to pay for anything because of that, how about women start making up a larger percentage of workplace fatalities in high-risk jobs? Or do you ladies prefer the white collar office work? Yeah, probably the latter given statistics.
Also, I know a girl who makes more money than her male coworkers do in an industry she has less experience in and with a company she has been employed to for much less than they have, so the wage gap really isn't as common as what feminists try to make it out to be. You can continue to play the oppressed victim and rant on the internet or be like everybody else and work hard to get somewhere in life, because believe it or not, life is unfair to EVERYBODY. What you (and a lot of feminists seem to want) is to have the cake and eat it too, not us. That's fine, but you're paying for the cake. Not us. Enjoy it. You have the same opportunities to get somewhere in life to be able to pay for that cake just like the rest of us.
The so-called pay gap is one of a list of Feminist lies.
Here are the facts:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8sJScg78Rlc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hRfERVPq2VE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QcDrE5YvqTs
Saying that men have an easier time than women is ridiculous, just as saying that women have and easier time than men would be. There are pros and cons to being each sex. Period. The fact that you think it's easier to be a man is really just your ignorance showing. I really don't understand what you mean when you say "Good luck finding a girl who will put up with your ignorance." How exactly am I ignorant? Is it because I believe in treating girls with respect, even though I get shit on by stuck up twats like you more often than I would like to admit? Please enlighten me.
@blueguy932000
She is an example of why I went MGTOW monk.
@cth96190 I'm not gonna lie, I had to look up what MGTOW means, but I can see why you chose to. Personally, I still want to get married and do the whole family thing, but we'll see. It just seems like the sweet girls get taken so quick that I don't have a chance. I would rather be single than with someone that I have to settle for.
Im too ugly for any woman to be interested in me :(
just work out, sheesh
Don't say that :( dressing nicely and keeping your hair nice are usually good enough. Besides, there're more important things than looks.
Usually not. Attraction comes mostly from looks. And even if someone can have an attractive personality, that shows only down the line, and most chances never get there.
@Swiss_Tengu It's just sexual attraction that derives from looks. It's different when a girl actually gains pure interest in a guy.
how long does it take for that to manifest?
@Swiss_Tengu It could be right away, a few months, a few years.
Good thoughts, but this will never gain traction in the real world.
Why not?
Women rarely ask guys out, unless he is extremely hot
A lot of women want to, they just hesitate because of the traditional belief that men should be approaching women.
Meh, there's no real need for them.
It's all fine and good to say it. But do you take your own advice?
Of course. Everything I've written is based on my experiences.
Total fail honey. Can't find real men huh?
Well, I always give guys a chance when they ask me out but I'm never able to really like them. I'd rather ask out a guy I really like.