My Experience Dating a Much Older Man

Dating a much older man can be heavily looked down upon in society. Being automatically stereotyped as a gold digger with only slabs of fresh candy meat and a rotten peanut-sized brain to offer? Well congrats to me, it happens. There's nothing I could do about it but to suck it (calm down, not dick) up and not give a fuck about what others think.

Let's just say my boyfriend and I are about a DECADE apart.

Before you scream in horror, I'd like to make a quick announcement in well... a desperate attempt to prove my innocence. Please bear with me.

*Ahem, ahem*

Oh hi there, I am not a typical sugar baby. And nope, my boyfriend doesn't ever give me money and even if he offered, I'm definitely not accepting it. No, I am not saying this to show how fucking wonderful and special I must be, but as a form of disclaimer. Cheers.

Anyway, here are a few things I have learnt while dating my 32 year old boyfriend. On a sidenote, yes it doesn't apply to every men in their 30s. I'm just speaking from personal experience. :)

1. Sex is amazing

I get to call him "daddy" and be his little girl while he fucks me hard or plays with my assets. Also, the fact that he is highly intelligent and experienced(not necessarily in terms of sex) absolutely turns me on for some reason.

2. He is loyal

Once an exclusive relationship has been established with a high level of trust, he is committed. No cheating. No mind games to make me jealous whatsoever. No bullshit.

3. Marriage

My man wants to settle down and get married to me someday. I realise I am not someone he's just looking to have fun with. I can't speak for all but it seems that men in their 30s make up their mind easily on who they want to marry and will tell you right away without a doubt within 6 months. Even better is the fact that he will go out of his way to tell his family members and friends about us.

4. They are sick of gold diggers

Blond hair, blue eyes, handsome and fit, my man has had many people asking what he works as and how much he earns. When we first met, my boyfriend was actually surprised that I was not at all curious about his finances and how I wasn't desperate to impress him. In fact, I remember I was making a huge fool out of myself by sending him a voice record - me pretending to be a grandpa with a deep low voice and talking random crap. My bored weirdo ass expected him to be creeped out and scoot away in disgust but to my amusement, he stayed.

5. A lot of arguments but we always make up

I used to think that having no arguments or fights at all in relationship meant the relationship was perfect and I always would fantasize for that. Now I have come to realise that fights are essential in relationship and there should always be open communication. My boyfriend doesn't mind calling me out on my bullshit every once in a while and despite the fact that I was upset about being confronted in the very beginning, I have learnt to look at it from a positive point of view. Without these fights, we would be bottling up our frustrations which would later reveal its toxicity. My older boyfriend has taught me to quit being sensitive and be open about our thoughts and feelings in our relationship.

6. Generosity

My boyfriend likes to tell people to keep the change when buying food and riding cabs. Even when the change is quite big. He's very friendly with taxi drivers and restaurant owners. And I fucking love that.

7. Such a chivalrous gentleman

He opens doors for me. Of cars, malls, hotels. You name it. On a sidenote, I do not expect him to do so but I appreciate it.

Ps: I could go on and on but I can't continue for now. I'm literally in desperate need of a shower as I am frantically scratching my neck and knees from the itchiness after having spent the day out under the scorching sun. I don't even know why I decided to be so extra and write this unnecessary bit of what is happening in my life at the moment but I'll shut up now because I am an uncanny creature living in Asia. By the way, I don't eat dogs. oh yeah before I dash for a refreshing night shower, thank you for reading and feel free to shoot comments of any kind. Goodbye lovely humans!


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Being a guy in my mid-thirties, I appreciate your post a lot. Many of the women that I find myself interested in are in their 20's, though not because of their age per se, but other factors like their having had fewer partners, few or no children, more energy, etc. Also, I've been told by pretty much everyone I meet that I look and act at least a decade younger than I am, so it only seems logical for me to pair up with that age range. The only problem is, while I may be a hit in every other way with these ladies, my age always is the deciding factor against me, which I find utterly unfair.
    Most recently, a girl I hit it off with pretty much admitted that this was the main reason why she wasn't interested in me, despite our clicking in many other ways and being mutually attracted to one another. I wish she could read your post, but to share it with her now would probably just come off as desperate and pushy. Oh well. Maybe next time.

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    • It is not "utterly unfair" that your age is the deciding factor against you. People reject each other for all kinds of reasons, like height, weight, education level, even if they hit it off in every other way.

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    • You're very welcome. I guess that's why my boyfriend was attracted to me: I had had no partners and never had sex. To my surprise I never feel intimidated by my man or feel awkward just because we have a 14 year age gap as opposed to people I meet in real life who fall into their 30s (I would feel like I have nothing in common with them and easily shy away). And I'm so sorry to hear that, i hope you find someone like her again who's willing to look past the age factor. Good luck!

    • It's totally fair. If you are 40 and marry a 25-year-old, she will be 60 and active when you are 75 and in failing health. Why should she sign up for that when she can just as well date a guy her own age?

Join the discussion

What Guys Said 42

  • I dated a few older women when I was in my 20's and I have dated a few younger women more recently. There was never any suggestion that any of this was done for money or support. The question of compatibility revolves around maturity and common interests, not what year you were born.

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  • I know some older guy-young woman relationships do work, but I don't think most are really sincere. The young women usually like those guys out of novelty and for money, and the older guys usually like her for sex.

    It's often a joke to me when people say younger women are mature enough to date us when most of them are not at my level or other men's who are even older than me, and most older men know that, that's why they like being a leader figure for them. These girls still want badboys and can't even have a serious conversation with you.

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    • I like older guys because of their experience and the fact that they understand me better usually than a guyvmy age.
      Def not because of the money though haha
      I noticed old guys like me too cause I am fresh, fun, and still unspoilt in some way

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    • @CactusJuice Right on point. This guy likes to degrade younger women all over this thing. I wonder what exactly did one of us do to him.

    • @CactusJuice Omg, you're an older man so of course you would support it. I wouldn't value what you say any more than I would value science.

      I learn a lot about people and groups through interaction with individuals, of all different ages, races, backgrounds, etc. On my job, online, at social gatherings, etc. And that speaks volumes of reality much more than "tested hypotheses" by lab coats trying to fit us all in their definitions based on old studies or new ones with 10 boys in a room and 10 girls in another.

      Often times real life differs from the lab coat hypothesis, and that is much more trustworthy and realistic, and what I will continue to go on.

  • I love the point you had, most, about the arguments. If you go through your relationship without them, I'd be surprised you don't have skeletons in the closet, or things you are withholding from one another about the things you like or dislike about the relationship. As well, how are you both supposed to understand each other without disagreement? Keep it G rated and the rose colour glasses will come breaking on the floor when you really least expect it.

    Also, us older men are more stable I believe in how to face relationships and how people work in general. We've gone through the gauntlet of shit and now we want someone that fits us.

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    • Thank you, that is very true and makes so much sense. I used to hate confrontations but my boyfriend has been a great relationship teacher. Have a great day Sir, thank you for your wonderful input.

    • No worries.

  • I've been in relationships with women up to 12-14 years olde and as much as 13 years younger. What ever dymamic works for you. Don't let the hangups of others affect your life in the least.

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  • 10 years difference isn't a whole lot once you are over say 20. My grandmother is 10 years younger than my grandfather and they have been married for 67 years. She was 18, he was 28 when they got married.

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    • That's amazing! 😊

  • I try not to be judgmental and if it works for you, good - My only real concern about age gap is if the younger person is quite young say a teen where a year maybe the equivalent of 5 for someone older example 17 t0 18 is like 25 to 30.
    As I said if it works great, all relationship types have their unique issues.

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  • Yea... its all good and dandy now...
    Till you get a little older. Cheers.

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  • Be open to being replaced the moment you get too comfortable and cunty.

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  • Great take, you totally right about.

    Im not use the 7 "open doors", etc. But each one is different it's my way.
    All rest you are right, a point i noticed when we get older is we are more loyal, we are more patient and another thing supreised me was we match perfectly on bed with girls younger than us.

    My ex was 16 years younger than me (i was 34 and she was 18).

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  • It sounds like you're having the time of your life. Congratulations on finding happiness! I don't think that there is anything wrong with it, as long as you are both happy and genuine. I wish you all the best with your future together, have fun!

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    • Thanks so much! I wish you all the very best as well, Jay!

  • Umm... I get to call him "Daddy"? RED FLAG.

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  • It's more about similar mindsets than age difference. I've date three women who were each about ten years younger. They didn't work out because if I didn't text or talk all the time I "must" be cheating. But more power to you and yours.

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    • Haha that used to be in the very beginning too but I've learnt to become less clingy! Thank you 😄

  • I get to call him "daddy" and be his little girl while he **** me hard or plays with my assets.

    Turn off. Stop reading there.

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  • Why is everyone complaining? Just more and more variety as a man ages. And for all the people complaining about gold diggers... they are incredibly easy to screen out...

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    • Haha thanks! ^^

  • Nothing wrong with an older/yonger relationship... lots to be learned and shared.
    Young guys should try out older girls... they just know stuff, real sexy stuff.

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  • Age doesn't really matter. You can even find better at younger ages, both intimately and personality-wise. Everone is different. And what about older, inexperienced guys? You probably like experienced men since you're experienced yourself lol.

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  • Interesting experience

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  • Um who cares what other people think? If two people like each other, are good for/to each other, and are attracted to each other, then what's wrong with it? Literally nothing. Screw the haters, period.

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  • I fit most of that description and i am 23. Old soul confirmed!

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  • I'm like that, and I'm not old.

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What Girls Said 30

  • Little girl? Vom. Sexualising children is disgusting, acting like a little is disgusting. It's acting out pedophillia. And I'm not about that. It's fine to date older but this is disgusting.

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    • There's a thing called Dom but ok😊

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    • To each on their own. If a master and slave relationship makes one happy. LOL.

    • @abundantlyrich eurgh. Only someone who hates themselves can be happy with that.

  • Although I'm single right now, but if I think of my future then at the age of 32 I wouldn't mind a 22 year old man and vice versa. Who the hell cares about age if you can nail your relationship? Go ahead and do what you gotta do and make sure you invite me on your wedding so that I can get good food for free. :p

    But seriously though, it's really the maturity and mindset that matters. My sister and brother-in-law are 9 years apart and they are honestly couple goals af. I have a cute little niece too!

    I never saw anyone making such a big fuss about age difference in my life, except when the girl is obviously too young and the guy is obviously too old, like someone almost twice her age, eugh!

    I did date a guy of my same age, and he was a big fat toddler. I will never ever date a guy of my same age as for now, except if he is really that much mature. But once I get older I believe I won't have any prejudice about it.

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  • I married a man years older. In retrospect I now know I married him because I was missing the total control of my deceased father. I was not ready to take control of my own life. This is what led to its dissolve, because I grew up and wanted control back. He was already grown up (well he was a baby! But he wasn't emotionally evolving where as that is what you do in your 20s. Meanwhile he had established his wants and needs already and was not changing).

    So in a way, i was marrying someone older and it was my fault it failed because I totally changed, even though for the better, and he did not. Setting new terms for a relationship mid relationship is a disaster a lot of the times.

    This is something like aged peers do not have to worry about because they are experiencing psycho social changes on the same time line.

    Having said that I'm currently dating someone 10 years older. I love him. Sigh... But he is not controlling at all. So I've learned not to repeat my past mistake. However, there are challenges is all I'm saying. If you do not acknowledge them yoy will likely fail. If you acknowledge them and are able to navigate them you have a chance to succeed and be happy regardless of your age.

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  • “I can't speak for all but it seems that men in their 30s make up their mind easily on who they want to marry and will tell you right away without a doubt within 6 months.”

    ^^ Sweetheart... There’s a word for “telling you without a doubt” when it comes to marriage.
    We call that “engagement”.
    Has that happened yet? If not, then, no, he hasn’t “told you without a doubt” (... and the longer he waits, the more awkward things will get).

    Also, you’re talking about a 14-year age difference like that’s some huge thing lmao.
    In general, it’s IDEAL for the man to be about 6-12 years older. This is not far outside that range at all.

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    • He has brought up marriage several times. 14 years are difference is a huge deal to me and to many people i have met so far but okay :)

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    • @redeyemindtricks
      "In general, it’s IDEAL for the man to be about 6-12 years older."

      Any particular reason why 6-12 is ideal, why not say 5 years or 15.

    • @Oram52 Ok so obviously those aren’t hard figures, lol. I wrote 5-12 on this opinion (woman’s mho)
      www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q2536588-your-preference-on-age-in-marriage

      Bigger gaps tend to stop working so well unless the woman has a relatively low sex drive and/or isn’t very highly attracted to men at their physical peak.

  • A decade isn't that much older (at least not in my opinion). I've dated someone who was 30 years my senior. Just make sure you're not being manipulated. There's no way you can know for a FACT that he's faithful. Older men are more experienced, more savvy. Plus if he's a businessman, he's very good at convincing people. And the whole generosity and chivalry thing -- that's what you should expect from any guy you date. And it's not like only older men have those qualities. Lastly, don't get your hopes up about him proposing. Many older men like to have younger women just as arm candy. He's going to be thinking "Yeah she's cute, but what can she REALLY offer me"? And if sex is all you have to offer... he can get that anywhere. What is it that YOU bring to the table? Again, if he's a business man, he's probably very smart and he's not going to be quick to share his fortune with you.

    Trust me, before my fiancé, I dated my fair share of older guys. Just make sure you aren't just being used.

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    • Agreed. I know quite a few older guys who are easily stringing along 3-4 girls at a time. My friend's roommate is almost 40. He broke up with his girlfriend and the next day had two (yes two) new gfs. He works as a paramedic

    • Cough cough it's women that use men just as much if not more.

  • So basically this is essentially a white guy with a young Asian girl story more than anything else. I know he's your god. Yawn.

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  • You said MUCH older... he's only ten years older, that's the same generation. The guy is younger than me, you're making out like he's from the fifties or something! Most guys of 32 don't have enough gold to be digged... it seems like you LOVE the idea of being a Little or a Sugar Baby and you're having fun playing out the fantasy... which is up to you, glad you've found something you like... but this isn't really an "older guy" situation. Your boyfriend is a bit older than you... do you get him to die his hair a bit grey to add to the scene? :D :D :D

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    • He's 14 years older ;) And he's pretty darn successful hahah

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    • I wrote "about a decade" 😉

    • I know... I read that part, that's why we're here with this misunderstanding.

  • Id got me one. He d the best. Sexy fit, strong sensitive mature and yes great in bed. It don t bother me the age gap one bit.

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  • Ok so I don't have a problem with the age difference but your boyfriend is obviously perverted and you are too young to see that you are enabling this unhealthy obsession of his. You're also giving up a lot of your personal development by committing to this guy at such a young age so you should think about that and be careful.
    You might think the sex is fun for now but do you still want to be his "little girl" when you are in your 20s? 30s? Maybe not.

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    • "giving up a lot of your personal development"
      In other words... raspberry0416 thinks you should make stupid mistakes like she has instead of getting advice from someone who can show you how to avoid those mistakes in the first place.

    • @WalterRadio
      LOL. Nice job trolling.

  • I suggest younger guys take notes. This is what women want. This is why we date older. Not because of age, but because we want someone serious who isn't just fucking around.

    I agree with the poster. My age limit caps at 15 years though and I don't really want to call any guy daddy.

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    • Do you know how infuriating it feels to be turned down constantly because I'm too young? And then you come around the corner saying that it's my fault because I'm "fucking around".
      Fuck dating. You can never win.

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    • If I wanted to score points, I would have brownnosed.
      Girls my age treat it essentially as a "You need to be this old to date me"-policy, and finding a girl that isn't into forty year olds is essentially like finding a needle in a haystack.

    • @Timodeum huh, that's strange. I don't know where you live but where I do, most people date around their age. Personally if a guy was around my age and I was attracted to him, I'd go out with him and see where things lead. I'm actually more physically attracted to guys about my age. But I'm mentally attracted to older guys. I wish I could find a mature guy my age to date.

      Sorry, you must live around immature gold diggers. Hopefully you find someone more mature around where you live. Anyone who won't go out with you soley because of your age is immature

  • My mom and my step dad were born ten years, ten days apart. They have been married for 16 years this past September

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  • I talked to a 32 year old man, at 18. after a month of talking to me he stopped talking to me. Even older guys don't ducking like me. I am a cursed soul.

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  • You call him daddy during sex?

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  • 10 years isn't really all that much.
    My fist serious post-divorce relationship was with a 62 year old man while I was 37.
    We were together three years and had a lot of good times together. We're still great friends.

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  • When you say he's loyal, he's the commital type, etc that's not always true. The fact that he's a lot older and not married yet tells you something about him and I'm not saying it's a bad thing if he's not commitment material.

    I am also into older men, but I like that they're confident, knowledgable, and the way they look, etc.

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  • YOU GO GIRL!

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  • No problem with age differences. But call him daddy? Damn that's vomit worthy.

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  • My boyfriend is 2 years older than me and I call him daddy and let him play with his "little girls" assets anytime he wants. That's not special to the age gap.
    Other than that I see your point with it all but obviously there's a reason people look down on these relationships. Most of the time women are in fact gold diggers, you said it yourself. He was surprised when you didn't ask about his financial status.
    I was with a guy that had 20 years on me so I do understand the looks and comments you get. It's very closed minded and judgmental and just flat out ridiculous seeing as it effects them in NO WAY!
    Glad you're happy, hope it all works out.

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  • well its not so much difference. 32 isn't old.

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