I don't believe in just giving any old person a chance in the dating pool. I feel like you need to have some things as an individual that you really need to say no to. There is some obvious stuff like not dating a guy who is abusive, racist, or dangerous, or a player, but there are also things that can enter into it, that I would say are definite deal breakers.
1. Drugs, cigarettes, alcohol, addiction
Unless prescribed by a doctor and used as intended, drugs are a total deal breaker for me. Even if I don't personally partake in them, what happens if say I get pulled over for speeding one day, and a cop sees drug paraphernalia in my car...and it's not mine. Oh yeah, the line "it's not mine, I swear," really goes over well and cops do tend to believe you...she says sarcastically. And how do I know that weed won't lead you to harder drugs, or that you're always able to pay your dealer, or that your dealer isn't in the house and the cops aren't waiting outside in a sting operation. <---this literally happened to someone I know. Also I wish I could be one of those people who could be with someone in the throws of addiction and work through it, but addiction is hard on you and harder on them. I feel like, you can't 100% be in a relationship with someone who is dealing with addiction because their mistress is their drug or bottle of choice, and you will always come second to that until or if they are able to or even want to get clean, and even then, relapse is a thing that happens, and you're back to square one.
2. Bad B.O. or otherwise filthy appearance
There is just nothing really attractive about bad B.O. Everybody gets it from time to time, but when it's an all the time thing, ick. Also the failure to do basic life maintenance things like clip your nails, or wash your hair, or wear deodorant, or wear clean clothes on a regular basis. It's not asking much, but when you don't do it because you're some type of Hippy don't care I'm just chill about everything and you should be too...uh, it's not going to work out.
3. No dreams, no ambition
You don't need to want to run for president some day or seek out the cure for cancer, but when you can't see anything in your future, I find that depressing. When you have no dreams, no ambition, no sight for what you want a few months from now, let alone, a year plus, I don't see it happening. I want someone who wants me to always try and be a better person and to go after my dreams, and I want the same in them.
4. Severe self-esteem issues
I cannot be happy for you. I can not make you feel better about your life. I can try, but after a while if you just can't ever love yourself or find some type of happiness, I can't be with you. Some people just cannot see what others see in them or they have issues in relationships where they always think their partner is trying to dump them or doesn't like some quality or physical attribute about them, but if I'm with you, I'm with you, and if you can't see that because you're obsessed with seeing the negative, I'm out.
5. So rude
When you treat others like dirt underneath your nail because you feel you can, it's a deal breaker. It would make me wonder, how long before that attitude turns towards me or someone clocks them in the face, or why they have just the inability to be a decent person.
6. Wants me to be someone I'm not
I'm the way I am and if that's never going to be good enough for you, we're not meant to be. I can't be your ex or your mom, I won't change my looks unless I personally want to, I'm most likely not going to change my opinions on certain things going on in the world or my moral views.
7. Loving himself...too much
When one room or one car is not big enough for the both of you because someone's ego is HUGE, no thanks. There is such a thing as loving yourself too much. These guys literally have no room for you at the inn because it's filled up all by themselves.
Get off me! I date guys that have their own lives and their own stuff to do and their own friends. All that hokey, "we are one" stuff is weird. I feel almost like someone is trying to invade your life and take it over when they start dating you and you come to find out his only friends are your friends, the only time he goes anywhere is with you, or he can't be left alone for too long without dialing you up. Ugh! The worst is when these same guys are also the jealous type, you know, because no one else can see, talk to, or have you even as a friend or family member. Deal. Breaker.
Agree? Disagree? What are your dating deal breakers?