A majority of individuals state that being single is a choice but I beg to differ. I encounter individuals that are single and looking to meet the right person, however, cannot find a good match. I presume they mean being single is a choice, in the sense that they are going to date when they are emotionally ready to find “the one”.
I have always been single and recently ended a short term relationship. I would have preferred the relationship to be long term, however, there were things that stood in the way. I am back to being single again and I feel like a failure. I am in my twenties and this took place a few months ago.
I take medication for my anxiety and discussed my low self-esteem with my Psychiatrist, who attempted to improve the degrading opinion of myself with easeful words. From that point, he ended that part of the discussion with “so, you are single by choice right?”. Doctor, did you not hear a word I just said? He also stated that I place too much thought/emphasis on the concepts of relationships.
I agree with him to an extent. If I did not have such a high expectations from what to expect from a man, hence they are human and I should act in the same diligent manner for the sake of fair game, I wouldn’t have been single for so long. I had this idea in my head as to what a guy is supposed to bring to the relationship. How he is supposed to treat me. How I want him to look. All of these standards. And while it is important to have basic criteria, there’s no need to overdo it. Who the hell am I?
Maybe if I did not reject those guys in the past, something could have become long-term. After this dating experience, I prefer to be single.
I know this may sound bitter but I prefer to stay to myself in order to avoid any further drama. The whole dating process. The possibility of what seems to be a future with someone and it all diminishes before your eyes. Yet, I am at peace with the notion of solitude. Or am I in denial? I don’t have many (any) friends to begin with. How is a partner going to fill this void?
While it is wonderful to hold hands with someone you care for and share kisses with when the timing felt right, I am alright with where I am now. Some of you may beg to differ because I am composing this myTake.
I am attempting to obtain feedback on a topic matter that seems to have an answer of its own. I wanted to experience love because it seemed so beautiful. It was what everyone else was getting involved in. And maybe it isn’t for everyone. You hear such encouraging feedback.
“Oh, you’ll find the one when you least expect it.”
“Be patient. Good things come to those who wait.”
“Don’t look for love, let love find you.”
“It’s a numbers game.”
“You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince.”
For now, I am going to figure myself out and what I want before I involve someone in my endeavors.