Let's Talk About Introverts and Introversion

Let's Talk About Introverts and Introversion

Shyness and introversion

Introverts and Extroverts are 2 different personality types. They can also be part of a spectrum between the two. This is called "shared traits".

Basically, extroverts feel recharged when they are with people and socialize. They need this. Extroverts like to go out, go to the bar, go to sports events, go where ever there are more people.

Introverts need to be alone to feel recharged, they need this. They feel drained when they are around people for an extended time. They love to read and be alone with their thoughts. They tend to be shy, socially awkward, and more sensitive people. Shyness often goes with introversion but one can overcome shyness with practice. They might like parties but they will prefer smaller parties rather than larger ones. Since few non-introverts understand them, they tend to prefer the company of other introverts. They do not talk a lot unless you talk to them about something that really interests them.

Let's Talk About Introverts and Introversion

Just because they are alone does not mean they are unhappy. They are perfectly happy to curl up with a good book, whether it's comics, sci-fi, or an encyclopedia. They may need to think a bit before answering a question in a social situation as they might be more nervous. They often like to help people learn. Introverts also tend to have fewer, but deeper, friendships. Having fewer friends is not a mental illness! This is bad science from the 1970s.

Let's Talk About Introverts and Introversion

Shyness might be based on some type of anxiety, like a general anxiety disorder, or social anxiety disorder. Most people are afraid of speaking in public too, but this fear can be overcome by going out of your comfort zone and speaking in public.

While I can speak in public, and I got over most of my shyness, I will always be an introvert and I will always need my "happy alone time" to decompress.

Let's Talk About Introverts and Introversion


Don't do this with introverts.

* Do not force or harass introverts to go out, they don't want to go out a lot, because all they get out of it is feeling drained. Ask them once, and they will answer.
* Don't ask "Why are you so quiet?" It's because they like quiet.
* Don't ask "Are you sad? You're alone so much." They are very content to be alone. They will come out when they want to.
* Don't assume they are broken. They are not.

Let's Talk About Introverts and Introversion

Getting close to an introvert.

* Learn about the care and feeding of introverts. Show them that you understand.

* They like their alone time, but that does not mean they don't want to talk!
* Find out their interests, learn about them, and ask questions about their interests. Almost always they like to help people learn things.
* In dating you might have to make most of the moves, so be clear with communication. Don't say "Do you like me?", that could mean anything to an introvert. It could mean "Do you like my hair?" Be specific. Ask "Do you want to go on a date with me Friday night?" This one also worked on me when she said: "I like you. When are you going to ask me out?"
* They prefer small groups. Do activities alone with them or in small groups.
* They might need more stimulation, typical things may not interest them. Their hobbies may be unusual.

* Introverts may not make a good match with an extrovert in a relationship because someone may not get their needs met.


An introvert is not broken just because they are different.



Let's Talk About Introverts and Introversion
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Most Helpful Girl

  • xHoneyxBeex
    I can definitely relate to this! Although I'm really not shy, people assume I am because I'm an introvert. In reality, I just don't enjoy small talk so I have a tendency to be quiet in large groups. Because of this, some assume that I am either shy, mean or don't like people. Lol I really just prefer sitting back and observing those around me or having more meaningful conversations with people who are interested in the same subjects I am.

    Ultimately, as you said, it's just a difference in how people process information, their thoughts/feelings, and how they get their energy. Even though I can interact in large groups when I need to, it really drains me. I feel physically tired afterwards and need to be alone for a while to "recharge." People think introverts are lonely and unhappy but I have a great support system of family and friends. I just enjoy spending time alone thinking about things and reading. :)
    Is this still revelant?

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What Girls & Guys Said

  • dancing_in_nebulas
    "... obnoxious predators out to steal their sweet, sweet, energy juices."

    Ha. So true. I love extroverts but can only handle them in small chunks.
  • xButterflyKisses87x
    I’m an introvert and proud like I am, I wish people around me would understand why I don’t like going to big gatherings and stuff but I don’t and they push me it’s not fair
  • lilaqua
    I don't know why this is such an issue. Introverts make up 50% of the population and they aren't exactly a rare breed. A lot of the 'characteristics' are just generalisations and are applicable to everyone.
  • Feyben
    I just hate it, when someone mistakes my introversion with shyness.
    It's true that introverts are not broken. But they can become broken when no one understands introversion, and assume, that this is a bad thing.
  • JessForAdvice
    I’m a mixed breed 😂
    I love being alone and reading book after book after book. I love washing a whole bunch of series.
    But then I also like going out with my friends to relax and catch up
  • chc0009
    Unfortunately, introversion doesn't work well in America and its go-getter culture.

    I hate this country, I wish I was European.
  • raton21
    i will link this text to anyote, that asks me, why Im too shy... thanks ;)
  • MasterAetos
    Oh yeah, I'm an introvert. This sounds exactly like me.
  • jaydtre
    The test I’ve taken say I’m an introvert but I hate being alone and prefer being out around people and doing things. I don’t need solitude or social interactions to recharge.
  • keenybmr
    I view introversion as a problem (atleast to me)

    I was introverted in my entire childhood due to abuse and low self-esteem.

    Things started to get better and I was really outgoing for quite a few years, made lots of friends, a few girls even liked me.

    Its back to introversion after a huge career problems, being extremely sick and depressed again.

    I feel as if the more troubled I am, the more introverted I get. I've not seen my friends for months now and I'm totally fine with it. I'm just spending most of my time studying at home now.
    • You're talking abuse, anxiety, low self-esteem, and depression. That doesn't sound like introversion. It sounds like a health problem. Get some therapy if you can.

  • Browneye57
    Yup. For the readers... go study MBTI.

    Highly successful introvert here, socially well adjusted, lots of friends, but I still REALLY enjoy my alone time to recharge.

    It took me 'till I was forty to understand it though, and my mother had no clue. I'll never forget the time I came home one summer morning from the nieghborhood, mom was sun bathing. She said, 'what's the matter with you - don't you have any friends?'
    I've never forgiven her for that - it caused a lot of emotional issues over the years until I learned about what introversion was and was not.

    75% of the population, both genders, are extroverts. And they actually believe something is wrong with introverts.
  • NewYear-NewMe
    Does being a average white guy and an introvert make me unattractive to women?
    • bacca400

      Girls are looking for someone that shows confidence. If you are not confident enough, and you don't ask them out, you won't get many dates. The issue is not about introversion, the issue is about confidence.

    • Every time I’ve asked a girl out, I’ve either been told no or yes then canceled right before. I hate it. I hate losing,

    • This is mostly my fault

    • Show All
  • GayHowellMeme
    I don't wanna talk about it
  • NYCQuestions1976
    I'm an introvert with extrovert tendencies. 😉😂
  • broskerposker
    everyone has a bubble, even extroverts!
  • mrsterlingarcher
    I have no idea what I am.
  • Revolver_
    I am an introvert
  • AmyRay
  • Anonymous
  • Anonymous
    Was introverted to maybe age 5 then have been Extroverted!!!
  • Anonymous
    I'm an introvert. Not many people understand us. Many view our introversion as a problem or whatever but, that's just the society that we live in I guess.
  • Anonymous
    I learned that you never really get close to an introvert. They are just your freind between isolations. They never actually want to be with you. Your just more safe and fun than meeting new people until they get fully comfortable in an area.
  • Anonymous
    Even though I knew this it was a good read.