Looks Aren't Everything... But They're Pretty Close

VOLcel

Today I'm dropping some black pills on looks and dating.

(First off I'm sure as people get older this is less of a thing but I'm coming at it from my perspective)

Think you don't judge a book by it's cover well YOU'RE WRONG. Looks are the initial impression of a person and maybe you aren't thinking about it but your subconscious is and it's been like this throughout history.

Looks Aren't Everything... But They're Pretty Close

Propaganda and the media in general exploit this idea to dismiss an opposing side or convince themselves they are right.

Looks Aren't Everything... But They're Pretty Close
Actions are even viewed through how you look, it's sexual harassment if a cave troll says you look good but flattering compliment if Casanova says the same thing, this article sums up an experiment of a fake tinder profile where the guy has terrible game saying the creepiest stuff but it's irrelevant.

https://thoughtcatalog.com/clint-conway/2017/03/this-guy-made-a-fake-tinder-profile-to-prove-that-girls-never-think-hot-dudes-are-creepy/

But what about personality?

don't get me wrong a relationship can only last so long if personality is incompatible before it flies into the sun but why is that important if you can never get your foot in the door in the first place and your great sense of humour isn't going to do that.

Looks Aren't Everything... But They're Pretty Close

Furthermore as shown above it would seem that even personality is based on attractiveness it's either that or people who are uglier actually do have worse personalities and I honestly kind of agree with this because I see it as a self-fulfilling prophecy. And this theory has data backing it up

https://www.nytimes.com/1981/09/01/science/effects-of-beauty-found-to-run-surprisingly-deep.html?pagewanted=1

It is generally thought more attractive people are viewed with open hearts and this preferential treatment affects their social lifes job opportunities and personality.

Discussing this study Dr Ellen Berscheid said "It is clearly a myth that 'Beauty is only skin deep' " and "Genetic determinism is anathema to Americans, who want to believe everyone is born equal, with an equal chance for a happy life,"

And remarking "It's simply not so. The most important factors governing success in life are genetically determined: appearance, intelligence, sex and height.''

I strongly advise everyone to read that article it also brings up interesting points about how babies are cared for may depend on looks and is an interesting read.

Looks Aren't Everything... But They're Pretty Close

So the next time this guy says "just be confident bro" take it with a lunar-sized grain of salt.

Also a really good channel that shows and explains how looks can affect our perception is looks theory here's a video showing how skull shape determines who people are:

Thanks for the bad news, what now then?

I myself try not to be so judgmental but I think we all have a perception bias however NEVER think you are worthless because of your looks don't let society try to define what is good and what is bad. You don't need to do anything to be better than someone else or compre yourself to someone else at the end of the day are you trying to better yourself as a person physically and mentally and as long as you believe you are good don't let it phase you that others disagree.

Looks Aren't Everything... But They're Pretty Close
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Most Helpful Girls

  • bethshepherd
    Have never been impressed by looks because some of the most attractive men are the quietest, most boring, most stupid and selfish men. I like men with a personality and brain. Someone who can make me laugh, someone who is well read and knowledgeable and bright, it turns me on. If a guy is only interested in me because of my looks he gets nowhere with me. He is shallow. Each to their own eh.
    Is this still revelant?
  • CarpetDenim
    Actually really surprised how much effort you seem to have put into this. Good job.
    Is this still revelant?
    • Revolver_

      I agree. I thought it was a good myTake

    • VOLcel

      @Revolver_ ok I won't kill myself today, thanks guys.

    • Revolver_

      Yeah don't kill yourself today. You're welcome

    • Show All

Most Helpful Guys

  • Anonymous
    I think the use of "grain of salt" is lost on you. The point of "take it with a grain of salt" is that it's a tiny singular grain of salt. Basically it means you should bother with it as little as possible. To say "take it with a LUNAR SIZED grain of salt" would mean, you should put stock into that advice, and I'm pretty sure that's not what you meant.
    Is this still revelant?
    • VOLcel

      I don't know about that but it's not-picking anyway.

    • Anonymous

      I'm aware, that's why I posted as anonymous.

  • Servus09
    You ripped that picture off this meme. It was originally a joke about the difference between Western and Eastern women.
    Is this still revelant?
    • VOLcel

      I don't think it was, I just reverse-searched both images and mine had an earlier date on it. Also that one makes less sense.

    • Pamina

      I agree, the male version of that meme makes a lot more sense. If you hadn't said it was about white vs. Asian women, I wouldn't even have gotten the point of it.

    • dipta

      Ah, the glorification of Eastern women.

    • Show All

Scroll Down to Read Other Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

833
  • TayTay21
    I've been on both sides. I was made fun of for being too skinny and a do-gooder nerd when I was 13, and now I have guys lined up with some begging to marry me. Looks do matter, but they reveal more about others than they do about you. Their reactions to you are ultimately about their neuroses, not any intrinsic value you may have. Some of the best people in history were "ugly": Einstein, Lincoln, Albert Schweitzer, etc.
  • readywriter
    I think that most looks are attractive to some people. BUt I am sure that extremes affect your desirability. Extremely fat or skinny are generally unattractive. Dirty and smelly is unattractive and so on. Having a plain look is fine for many men and women. Looking comfortable and friendly is much more important for most. Men who NEED Barbie and Ken often find that their personalities are as deep as their skin. Looks do matter but you don't need to be Barbie.
  • Cosytoasty
    Never let looks, race or appearance hold me back in well... anything in life. Good looks are merely one advantage (or disadvantage), what you do with that is far more important and they can be overcome with other traits.
  • Soblfob
    Men go for good looking women, women are only interested in money, so, ugly old men like Peter Stringfellow, High Hefner, Mick Jagged and Roman Abramovich get got chicks, the rest of us have to make do with the ones the rich guys don't want.
  • Bandit74
    "The most important factors governing success in life are genetically determined: appearance, intelligence, sex and height.''

    That quote sums life up perfectly.
  • ScaryCool
    I do understand your point and you're right. However, with some cases as in the two guys who play games all day.
    The guy on the left is an example of someone who plays them all day and also lets himself go. Like I know looks are not everything by any means but at the same time you want to show that you care about yourself to some degree you know? I think that is one issue that comes up with 'ugly' vs 'handsome' is just some people who may think they're ugly or are deemed it just really haven't sat down to try to change it. A few tips on how to shave or how to address acne won't kill anyone.
    Good myTake though.
  • RationalMale
    I completely agree looks are a lot.

    And too often it seems like no one cares at all anymore. Just look at the fat slob in one of your examples. Why is he hideous? Largely because of his own poor choices.
  • LegateLanius
    The main difference between the guys is the beard, body fat and hair style. Headshape on bouth could be very similar, they dont show it.
    That video is straight up bullshit. I agree with the rest of the take but the bottom video is crap.
  • Riggers
    Yup, were a very vanity based species,

    Chance of big trumpo pushing that big red button so we can all fuck off already 😂
  • ericclayton
    Although many don't want to admit it, women are very visual creatures as well. An attractive, fit man can make up for a hell of a lot else he doesn't have.
  • Bluemax
    Beauty in humans falls into a bell curve. Most of us fall at the top of the bell curve, while fewer people fall to the extremes (ugly or beautiful).

    Whereas those at the extremes have a more extreme time with things, be it extremely easy or extremely difficult, the overwhelming majority of us fall into the middle, where things like personality come into play.

    However, indeed people do make all kinds of judgments, positive and negative (with the positive going to the beautiful and the negative going to the unattractive), based on appearance. Those who deny this are not facing reality.
  • candycanehearts
    haha I agree, good looking guys hardly ever seem creepy
  • Chthou95
    True man. However just because you're not good looking or attractive doesn't mean you're not important or any less of a person. No one should be made to feel like they aren't important because of their looks.
  • bellybuttonlint
    I've been saying this for years now. Thank you for this insightful write up. Anyone who disagrees is probably an 8+ on the looks scale.
  • Pamina
    I would have to agree.
    • It's only true when it comes to women, and this has been proven with SEVERAL peer-reviewed studies, and journals.

      Look at all the conventionally ugly rich men who get trophy wives. Hugh Hefner being one example. I see several "ugly" doctors with trophy wives. I see it all the time.

    • VOLcel

      @EnglishArtsteacher can you link one of those studies please?

    • Pamina

      @EnglishArtsteacher Can't wait to see all those SEVERAL peer-reviewed studies that prove exactly what you just said and not something else that you misinterpreted entirely.

    • Show All
  • OpenWine
    if it weren't for looks I wouldn't be single right now. I mean if I would be less picky myself I am not the icing on the cake either
  • xctmnt
    nytimes. com/2014/05/18/opinion/sunday/so-youre-not-desirable. html
  • AynonOMouse
    I have a warrior skull. I've never seen or heard of that video before though.
  • Nandor
    It is what it is
    • VOLcel

      Ur a qt so don't have to worry.

  • NewYear-NewMe
    Yeah I think there are leagues in dating and I don’t know where I fit in
  • ovoxo_
    So basically I'm doomed to celibacy for life. Thanks.
  • Revolver_
    Interesting myTake
    • VOLcel

      You didn't even read it 😭 I poured my soul into this don't bother humouring me.

    • Revolver_

      I read it

    • VOLcel

      Not true, unless you are superman and you just did a shitty generic comment, I would have a thoughtful comment on yours. You clearly don't love me like I love you.

    • Show All
  • I agree. Great myTake
  • NovissimumVirorum
    Interesting
  • JamestheKorean
    this is so true..
  • clampfan101
    It’s as sad as it is true, but yes.
  • COCOCHANEL
    i agree
  • samhayne
    Hahaha! A+ Take.
  • disgustingweebtrash
    I agree i'm butt ugly
  • lacorine197
    Yes they are
  • belowaveragem
    Agree. I'm ugly and thus never had a girlfriend.
  • Anonymous
    It is unfair but very, very true. :)
  • Anonymous
    This was cleverly done - and you're not wrong.
  • Anonymous
    Yeppp
  • Anonymous
    I pretty much agree with you
  • Anonymous
    This really just means you gotta stay in your lane, as in you may be able to get someone a little more attractive than you, but don't go for a ten if you're a solid 2.
  • Anonymous
    True
  • Anonymous
    So true
  • Anonymous
  • Anonymous
    Sad but true, I agree completely, awesome myTake.
  • Anonymous
    Attractiveness is what its all about. Thats why even the best pickup lines get an eyeroll coming from some guys, and some don't need them at all. Somewhere between a 3 and a 7, they might make a difference.

    She's either attracted to you or not. If not, she'll come up with an excuse so she won't be seen as shallow. If she is attracted, almost anything you do will be endearing. That's just how it goes.
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