You Just Got Friendzoned: What It Means and What You Should Do

[ragequeen]

Everybody will get friendzoned or experience friendzoning someone else some time in their lives. The friendzone is considered everybody`s worst nightmare! And for good reason. This MyTake for you today will be about what the person actually means and what you should do about the situation. I hope you all find this MyTake helpful!

Help, I just got friendzoned! But what does it mean!?

When you get friendzoned by somebody, you end up with a lot of mixed feelings. You might feel angry, your ego might be damaged, you could be really sad or maybe you don`t really care about it. No one is blaming you! I mean, you just took the biggest leap of faith in your life to approach your crush, and they rejected you. Don`t worry, if they lead you on it`s not your fault.

When you get friendzoned, it means the person you approached wants to be friends. Aka, they don`t want to be romantic with you. Aka, they don`t find you attractive. This is the brutal fact that a lot of people struggle with digesting properly. You just invested a lot of confidence to approach your crush, and they indirectly say in your face: you are just not that attractive, sorry bro/sis! This is a painful fact, but it gives you a good enough reason to move the fuck on.

Woops, FRIENDZONED!

What people mean when they friendzone you

Okay, so you might be really confused right now. You were just friendzoned by the girl/guy of your dreams. But it all seemed to go so well... You laughed together, did activities together... you actually thought they liked you back. Sorry to break it to you. Maybe you need to be better in the future to read all the unobvious signs (I`ll mention a few as a bonus at the end). However, like I mentioned before, if the person leads you on all this time, it`s not your fault and the other person can go fu.... okay sorry back to the article.

This is usually what people mean when they friendzone you. It can be all of these points, just a few or maybe even just one. It depends massively from person to person.

- I don`t find you attractive (like, at all)

- I just wanted to have some fun

- I have had bad experiences

- I don`t trust you

- I don`t trust myself

- There is something about you I don't like

- There is someone else

Okay, great. Whatever. What should I do now?

Here are a few personal tips to what you should do if you get friendzoned. If you follow them, I can assure you the torture will end relatively quickly. I`ve noticed a lot of people getting friendzoned in my time and they deal with the situation completely wrong. If you have some ideas I haven`t included in this list, feel free to share in the comment section!

1. Don` t give the person ANY more attention.

Yeah. It`s probably tough, especially if you liked them since the first grade and you live by giving them attention. You just have to stop. If you keep giving them attention, it will just blow up their ego. They will end up like magnets getting bigger and stronger, sucking the life force out of you, and you`ll end up feeling completely drained. Trust me, you`ll gain NOTHING. The person will only take advantage of your attention and use it to build confidence to go out with someone they actually like. Have more respect for yourself, people.

2. Cut off contact. At least if the circumstances say so.

If you feel like your crush did exploit your attention, there is no reason to stay around them. They have no right to play with your feelings like that. Therefore, they don`t deserve you in their life PERIOD. If you can live with just being friends, be friends. If not, leave.

3. There is no shame in leaving the game.

The other person has to understand how you`re feeling, or else they aren`t worth being around. You deserve alone time if you want it. If you feel too embarrassed to be around the individual, you have every right to leave. You`re probably going to hear things like "if you don`t even want to be friends, you don`t deserve me anyway". This is bullshit. You don`t tell someone who just peed themselves to stay in the room. You can change your pants and go into another room anytime and start again.

You don`t tell someone who just peed themselves to stay in the room. You can change your pants and go into another room anytime and start again.

4. Find a distraction.

James looked kind of cute today. Martha looks great in that dress! Small everyday distractions like that can keep your mind elsewhere than your crush who unfortunately left you in the dark. Get a new crush if you are ready to take it that far. Do whatever you need to do to get over it.

5. Stay away from them.

Avoid seeing the person face to face as long as you can and want to. The person who friendzone you has to realize it`s their loss. Also, when you friendzone someone you probably want to be left alone anyway. It`s an embarrassing thing for both parts. Give each other some space, and maybe the relationship will heal itself, or it won`t.

6. Don` t push it.

Don`t push anything. You were friendzoned. Deal with it. There is nothing you can do about it. If you care about yourself, let it slip. If you hang on or try to change the person, it will drive you away from them and you will be considered annoying and then you can DEFINITELY kiss that person goodbye. YOU have the power now. If you want this to turn into something less painful, try to make the person miss you.

I hope these tips helped at least somewhat! Let me know what you think.

Finally, some early signs of someone who just considers you a friend and NOTHING else.

1. You get mixed signals from them: when you come to the point where you are unsure about what they feel about you, often, it`s just friendship on their mind. If the person is unsure or gives you mixed signals, they don`t know what they want, and that`s not a good sign. My advice to you, in this case, is to lay low on the flirting and let them come to you.

2. They avoid being alone with you: every opportunity you get to be alone with them, they chicken out or give excuses. They always want to be with more people at a time, so they are safe from you making a move.

3. You give and give and you get nothing back: so basically you feel exhausted from all the trying. You try to get together but they just HAD to make it to their grandmother`s 73d birthday party. You gave them a compliment and they never complimented you once. You tried being flirty but they laughed at your "jokes". Jeez, give me a break!

4. They are naive: or, they pretend to be. When you give them hints about who you like, they never guess themselves. They PRETEND they don`t know you have a crush on them, and it drives you crazy that they don`t get it. THEY DO. They just want to avoid the subject altogether.

[curiousnorway]

Nice MyTake!

I've friendzoned someone before. Things went fine for me, but the person was sad. I offered them to still be friends, but we're not talking so often with each other through social media and hasn't met each other in years. We could still be friends if they was more interested.

Why I'm sharing this is because I want to share some signs on how to be able to tell you've been friendzoned from my experience. I've given signs myself. Here's my signs:

1. Little to no flirting: Talking regular to them like I would do with a good friend and no romantic complimenting.

2. Little hearts and no "I love you": If someone uses a lot of hearts in the chat, it seems romantic. If someone are using more regular smiles, rarely or never use hearts and never said "I love you", then it's definitively not romantic.

3. Body language and intonation: If there's no excitement when the person does romantic stuffs, they're definitively friendzoned. If the person tries to hold hands, stroke the chin and their potential partner either resist or friendly tells them they're not into it (either verbally or body wise), then they're definitively not interested.

I admits I've shown discomfort when the person I friendzoned tried showing romantic affection. I didn't smile as much that I "should" either and asked them to stop touching me. Looking away a certain way may also be a sign of not being interested.

[Browneye57]

Actually pretty good. Unfortunately guys don't really get this - it's a simple matter that the girl may be polite, friendly even, but zero sexual or romantic interest. Weak guys view this as something that can change - unfortunately you cannot negotiate attraction and desire - it's either there or it isn't. Hanging around and hoping is not going to change it. These are called 'beta-orbiters'. They're just hoping. LOL

By god, if a girl isn't going gaga over you it's just not there.
If a girl wants to get with a guy she'll break all the rules to do it. If she doesn't she'll make up a new rule every day why she can't.

[A_Bell]

If you look at a girl as something more and she only wants to be friends. Ghost her. Don't be mean, just don't make yourself available and don't talk or share things with her. Either she will forget about you and find another bestie, or she will come to realize you mean more to her than she was prepared to allow and you may have a chance. If you lose her as a friend, so what, if you wanted something more anyway.

The thing is, you have to be patient. No giving in to spend time with her unless she has re-evaluated you.

[Anonymous]

I truly believe that people put themselves in the friendzone. If you went out of your way to befriend someone because of their looks , and were attracted to them and remained friends out of fear of rejection or because they rejected you and you would rather be close to them and be their friend than lose them completely, then you did that to yourself all by yourself.
You can just get out of the friendzone , because you put yourself in it to begin with.

[thoughtprocess11]

Yes and a lot of times a mistake people make is by being TOO CLOSE. I mean you should care about their feelings etc but don't be the shoulder to cry on so much they start viewing that way. That is one reason why I don't completely agree with the article as well written as it was. A lot of times it is none of the things listed. It is because we put them there.

[coachTanthony]

Very entertaining MyTake. Especially the photo of the guy and girl and the response of "couple of bestiess" HA. In my opinion, the Friendzone just doesn't exist. If you want to pine over someone that doesn't want you in hopes that someday they will see you differently than that is your fault. You didn't catch some disease called the Friendzone LOL.

[Logorithim]

Friendzone is not bad at all if you can handle her turning you down and neither of you develops feeling. You can still hang out with her and having a good female friend you can hang out with has a little overlap with a girlfriend anyway. Just do it and talk to other girls.

[Anonymous]

I liked this myTake. I agree with a lot of it. If someone just wants to be friends you have to accept that and either be their friend or let them go. Just because you let them go doesn't mean you weren't truly their friend to begin with and it doesn't mean you were only their friend to get in their pants or date them. It's quite stupid that people think that way. If they were a true friend they'd understand even if they felt hurt at first. It isn't an easy thing and it's nobody's fault.

Anything being felt is natural. I will say that if feeling angry it's not a good idea to release that on them, just say okay and then go and deal with it in a healthy way.

For your tips, I find signals kind of useless to go off of. Every woman is different and what are signals to one woman is friendly behavior for another. I say just take a shot if you're interested and if she's not it's no big deal. You should take that shot before coming close friends with her.

The second tip is obvious in my opinion.

The third tip, I will say this. If you're going all out for someoen anyone. A friend, girlfriend, boyfriend, family member, and get nothing in return then they are using you. If she/he vents their relationship problems to you but won't listne to you vent then they are using you and are not a real friend. If you help them out but they never help you out then you're being used and they aren't a friend. These people are leeches. Stop doing stuff for them. I basically treat people how I'd like to be treated but also treat them like they treat me. If they get me gifts then I give gifts back. If they can cover for me on something I will do the same. Thing is these should come naturally in your friendships. Nothing should feel forced.

For the fourth argument, some people are truly naive and don't know when someone likes them. Like I mentioned above there are no 100% tell tale signs someone likes you. I've had friends both male and female tell me a girl (a friend/ acquaintance) was into me and when asked out she wasn't. i've also had women show strong interest and when asked out they weren't interested (They may have been leading me on or maybe not but that's why I just ask someone out if interested in them if we can a tleast talk to each other and get along).

Either way good take!

[thoughtprocess11]

This isn't entirely accurate. A lot of times people that are put in friend zones, the best friend thinks they are physically attractive and have said so and often times will try to set someone up with their hot friends. If someone of the opposite sex is your best friend there is some kind of attraction there because you meet their emotional and intellectual needs. The issue is you should have been up front with them about your desire for a relationship not a friendship from the beginning. If you let it go on too long then, you end up the friend zone regardless of what you have to offer.

Men and women can't be friends long-term because someone ultimately gets romantic feelings for one another and if you are close you are essentially filling the role of boyfriend or girlfriend. The friend zone just not exist because you are cheating yourself out of possibly the best relationship you have ever had.

What you have to do is walk away. This is the one thing that can change the relationship because over time they will think about you and possibly miss you and see you in a different light. Many of the things listed in the original article aren't that accurate. Sometimes it is a case of you became their buddy too fast and if you are interested in the opposite sex romantically tell them right away and tell them you don't want to be the male or female version of their best same sex friend.

[thoughtprocess11]

One thing I should add is sometimes it comes down to them being hurt in other relationships and they just don't have a lot of trust for anyone, so when they find themselves trusting you as a friend they put you in the friend zone and that really isn't anything against you personally but it is a terrible position to be in. You have to if you are interested in someone romantically learn how to keep some distance.

[D_Bone_Steak]

I say just don't approach her like you want to be her friend unless you're fine with the idea of 'just being her friend.' Your chances of getting your dick wet are still the same, it just won't take as much time to find out if you're gonna get your dick wet. Basically, why you gotta be fake bruah?

But hey, if you want to be all indirect and methodically coax her into a situation where you'll finally get her wooed enough by you... don't get butt hurt and lash out at her just because she's never bothered to consider the idea of getting your dick wet with her pussy.

... and if you're that guy that is up to this bullshit with a taken girl... you're straight up grimey and thirsty.

[HungLikeAHorsefly]

To me, your post reads like this: "you haven't made it clear your interest in your 'friend' is romantic/sexual and they reject you once you finally do make a move, abandon them and don't feel bad about it"

I mean, you talk like getting friend zoned is something other people do to you. I think it's something you do to yourself, and when you do it you're not only screwing yourself over but you're also being a bad friend to someone you supposedly care about.

Look, it's simple: go into every relationship being clear about your intentions. If you want a romantic relationship, make them aware of that on Day 1. If you want friendship, same deal. You may get rejected, but you'll never get friend zoned.

The only possible exception to that rule is if you develop feelings for a friend somewhere down the line, after previously only seeing them as a friend. In that case, your advice to just cut off contact is a horrible idea and it's basically the opposite of what a friend is.

[Anonymous]

Am I actually the only one who doesn't look at the friend-zone as a bad thing when it comes to trying to develop a relationship? Relationships that start as friendships often end up being the ones that last the longest. If neither of you are falling in love or if whoever is in love can get over it... that means only good things. xD

My mom always told me to marry my best friend. Those who make the false assumption that friends and relationships must, for whatever reason never, develop past that point are just... what are you doing? That's literally the safest way and probably most satisfying way to end up in a relationship.

[McKellar]

Most of everything you have just mentioned, I have experienced this & when it comes to just leaving the friendzone, dropping contact & blocking,... yep, I've done all of these. If anything,.. I've also have shared this type of wisdom & suggestions to other people who were in these situations as well.

Hence why I don't talk to women these days. If they place me in the friendzone all because I'm not their type, I walk away & leave the friendzone. After all, I'm not obliged at all in anyway to stick around & be their friend. That's like me ( in my perspective ) being friends with a beautiful super model or a bikini fitness model. My rhetorical question on that is, "Why the hell would I want to be friends with a girl like that to whom I'm very attracted to who only looks upon me as a friend & that's how it's going to stay that way?" That makes no sense to me.

[binarybabe001]

This is all really good stuff! but, you left out the people who claim to have no romantic feelings or attraction for a platonic friend but seem to sudenly have a change of heart and bone them or do other sex stuff with their friend zone victims later on after weeks or months of this, call you "just a friend " and rip your bloody, still beating heart right out of your f***ing chest.

[TrixiePooch]

So wait, it isn't good to have friends? Why dump them if you consider you a friend? Come on, everyone needs friends. Besides we got female friends too and who knows, maybe we can set them up with a friend who may be more to their liking and better suited to them. You know, like networking.

[hsshannah96]

I got kind of a hard to swallow pill right now—-so here’s the pill. The pill is if a girl says you’re just friends it means you’re just friends!!! If you go beyond that you’re going to be in big trouble and you’ll probably lose a friendship with her altogether so I suggest you accept where you are and suck it up like a big boy because you’re a grown-up now. You can deal with it and we are not in preschool anymore when you come crying to your teacher because a girl doesn’t like you. Grow up.

[Brossel]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't it my choice whether I want to try to be friends with someone who rejected me? You are not obligated to give me a shot, and I'm not obligated to try and keep a friendship going that is probably not going to make me happy.
Insinuating that one should stay in such a relationship seems rather selfish on the friendzoning party in my opinion.

[thoughtprocess11]

@Brossel I agree with you. If you want to be with the person romantically, it is always going to be awkward after that because you are going to be in constant pain knowing you want more and if she starts dating someone else it is going to crush you. You should share your feelings and if they don't give you a favorable response walk away. Either you will eventually heal or they may start seeing you differently. Sometimes we put someone in a box almost immediately and that isn't fair. I just don't think men and women can be best friends long-term because one person is going to ultimately develop feelings and if you are that close you are already emotionally and intellectually invested which is the basis for a good romantic relationship.

[Brossel]

@thoughtprocess11 I agree with most of what you said, but I have to disagree on male/female friendships. Almost all of my friends are female, and I've never had a male friend that I became as close with as with my best female friends. I personally just work better with women I suppose, and I usually don't develop feelings for them either. This may very well be different for you or anyone reading though.

[NatashaJ]

If a person ever tells you to keep going and keep trying to convince them they like you you know you talk to a idiot. Most people know if they like someone or not if they said no it means no. You can always wait and see if they change their mind but you shouldn't make them annoyed or uncomfortable with your behaviour. Or you could do the normal thing which is moving on with your life and find someone you likes you.

[NatashaJ]

Also, People can have valid reasons not to like you. For example if it turns out some of my guy friends actually like me I can name 3 things for most of them on why I will never like them that and they can never change my mind. Getting angry or heartbroken will just prove their points more why they don't like you. Might as well accept it and not make a scene or make a ass out of yourself infront of them.

[Wondererquest]

Honestly I. Believe the word friendzone is made up to make others feel put down. There is only friend or not, even with romantic feelings it still not a bad thing. If someone considers me as just friend not a romantic interest, who cares? That person is obviously not meant for me. So this take is not helpful. IT ONLY creates more divisions. Respect your experiences but everyone is different and friendzone is non existent to me.

[worldscolide]

I never really have this issue. Every time someone attempts to friend zone me my response is simple. I am sorry i am not interested in friends. And i walk off, lose their phone number, and simply cut them out of my life. You would not believe how many times they came back and said they wanted me.. My response is always "Sorry you shouldn't have wasted my time, you lost out, good bye"

[kitty71]

I just want to say one thing WHY PEOPLE can't BE HONEST TO THAT OTHER PERSON WHO GOT FRIENDZONED WHAT IS SO WRONG OF TELL THE TRUTH AND NOT LEAD THEM ON in believing there may be hope. You can't spare the other person sadness and being angry if the guy o the girl were more honest and not act as a douche. If you lead them on because you are attracted to taht person why is wrong to start being someone, if you are attracted.

[Kiran04]

It means stop talking to or being around that person, give yourself lots of distance, let the heartache subside, then get on with your life. It isn't rocket science. The "friendzone" is just another form of rejection, and you deal with it the same way you deal with all rejection. Time and distance.

[sp33d]

"You were just friendzoned by the girl/guy of your dreams"
Funniest line in the take.

If we're joking around with it, I'm cool with it. But you actually exaggerate this out of proportion and keep comparing it to "torture" and whatnot.

Wtf do you mean "what it means and what should you do?"
Get. Over. It. I'm amazed how much you cherish this notion of "friendzone". You don't like making friends, then?

god damn kids, I swear..

[CHARismatic110]

Lol this was a fun Take to read. Getting friendzoned sucks. Especially when the other person plays with your feelings. I think the best thing is always just to go separate ways after that because things are never the same.

[torken]

friendzone doesn't exist, she rejected you. take it on the chin and move on, don't be spineless and pine

[ImSoSquishy]

You Just Got Friendzoned: What It Means and What You Should Do?

1. it means he or she don't like you
2. stop being a cry baby, move on with life, and find someone else