Everybody will get friendzoned or experience friendzoning someone else some time in their lives. The friendzone is considered everybody`s worst nightmare! And for good reason. This MyTake for you today will be about what the person actually means and what you should do about the situation. I hope you all find this MyTake helpful!
Help, I just got friendzoned! But what does it mean!?
When you get friendzoned by somebody, you end up with a lot of mixed feelings. You might feel angry, your ego might be damaged, you could be really sad or maybe you don`t really care about it. No one is blaming you! I mean, you just took the biggest leap of faith in your life to approach your crush, and they rejected you. Don`t worry, if they lead you on it`s not your fault.
When you get friendzoned, it means the person you approached wants to be friends. Aka, they don`t want to be romantic with you. Aka, they don`t find you attractive. This is the brutal fact that a lot of people struggle with digesting properly. You just invested a lot of confidence to approach your crush, and they indirectly say in your face: you are just not that attractive, sorry bro/sis! This is a painful fact, but it gives you a good enough reason to move the fuck on.
What people mean when they friendzone you
Okay, so you might be really confused right now. You were just friendzoned by the girl/guy of your dreams. But it all seemed to go so well... You laughed together, did activities together... you actually thought they liked you back. Sorry to break it to you. Maybe you need to be better in the future to read all the unobvious signs (I`ll mention a few as a bonus at the end). However, like I mentioned before, if the person leads you on all this time, it`s not your fault and the other person can go fu.... okay sorry back to the article.
This is usually what people mean when they friendzone you. It can be all of these points, just a few or maybe even just one. It depends massively from person to person.
- I don`t find you attractive (like, at all)
- I just wanted to have some fun
- I have had bad experiences
- I don`t trust you
- I don`t trust myself
- There is something about you I don't like
- There is someone else
Okay, great. Whatever. What should I do now?
Here are a few personal tips to what you should do if you get friendzoned. If you follow them, I can assure you the torture will end relatively quickly. I`ve noticed a lot of people getting friendzoned in my time and they deal with the situation completely wrong. If you have some ideas I haven`t included in this list, feel free to share in the comment section!
1. Don` t give the person ANY more attention.
Yeah. It`s probably tough, especially if you liked them since the first grade and you live by giving them attention. You just have to stop. If you keep giving them attention, it will just blow up their ego. They will end up like magnets getting bigger and stronger, sucking the life force out of you, and you`ll end up feeling completely drained. Trust me, you`ll gain NOTHING. The person will only take advantage of your attention and use it to build confidence to go out with someone they actually like. Have more respect for yourself, people.
2. Cut off contact. At least if the circumstances say so.
If you feel like your crush did exploit your attention, there is no reason to stay around them. They have no right to play with your feelings like that. Therefore, they don`t deserve you in their life PERIOD. If you can live with just being friends, be friends. If not, leave.
3. There is no shame in leaving the game.
The other person has to understand how you`re feeling, or else they aren`t worth being around. You deserve alone time if you want it. If you feel too embarrassed to be around the individual, you have every right to leave. You`re probably going to hear things like "if you don`t even want to be friends, you don`t deserve me anyway". This is bullshit. You don`t tell someone who just peed themselves to stay in the room. You can change your pants and go into another room anytime and start again.
You don`t tell someone who just peed themselves to stay in the room. You can change your pants and go into another room anytime and start again.
4. Find a distraction.
James looked kind of cute today. Martha looks great in that dress! Small everyday distractions like that can keep your mind elsewhere than your crush who unfortunately left you in the dark. Get a new crush if you are ready to take it that far. Do whatever you need to do to get over it.
5. Stay away from them.
Avoid seeing the person face to face as long as you can and want to. The person who friendzone you has to realize it`s their loss. Also, when you friendzone someone you probably want to be left alone anyway. It`s an embarrassing thing for both parts. Give each other some space, and maybe the relationship will heal itself, or it won`t.
6. Don` t push it.
Don`t push anything. You were friendzoned. Deal with it. There is nothing you can do about it. If you care about yourself, let it slip. If you hang on or try to change the person, it will drive you away from them and you will be considered annoying and then you can DEFINITELY kiss that person goodbye. YOU have the power now. If you want this to turn into something less painful, try to make the person miss you.
I hope these tips helped at least somewhat! Let me know what you think.
Finally, some early signs of someone who just considers you a friend and NOTHING else.
1. You get mixed signals from them: when you come to the point where you are unsure about what they feel about you, often, it`s just friendship on their mind. If the person is unsure or gives you mixed signals, they don`t know what they want, and that`s not a good sign. My advice to you, in this case, is to lay low on the flirting and let them come to you.
2. They avoid being alone with you: every opportunity you get to be alone with them, they chicken out or give excuses. They always want to be with more people at a time, so they are safe from you making a move.
3. You give and give and you get nothing back: so basically you feel exhausted from all the trying. You try to get together but they just HAD to make it to their grandmother`s 73d birthday party. You gave them a compliment and they never complimented you once. You tried being flirty but they laughed at your "jokes". Jeez, give me a break!
4. They are naive: or, they pretend to be. When you give them hints about who you like, they never guess themselves. They PRETEND they don`t know you have a crush on them, and it drives you crazy that they don`t get it. THEY DO. They just want to avoid the subject altogether.