14 Traits That Women Find Attractive In Men.

Traits Women Like Their Men To Have.
Traits Women Like Their Men To Have.

This is a compilation of traits that I have put together from years of observation and curiosity. Why was it some guys could, and others could not get the girls they were interested in. After lots of interactions and talking with women, I was able to narrow down 14 traits that I found most women desire in a man.

I'm not covering things such as hygiene, working out, or how a man should dress. The traits I'm covering are more of how a man carries himself. His internal traits that women tend to pick up on.


These are in no particular order as every woman is different. Some of these traits may be more desirable by one woman, and less desirable by another. Another thing I want to point out is that some of these are very similar, may overlap a bit, but are defined differently.


So, lets get on with this.

A confident man can handle boundary tests.
A confident man can handle boundary tests.

1. Confidence

We as men hear this all the time. But, what does this mean exactly? To me, it means that I trust my faculties. I know that if a girl tries to test the boundaries that I have established in our meeting, I will be able to the handle it. I’m secure in who I am, and aware of the value I am bringing to the interaction. If I don’t know my value, how is going to know? Why would she even care who I am? I have to be willing to share, and bring to the table, my true personality.

Most Women Desire a Man Who Can Make Them Laugh.
Most Women Desire a Man Who Can Make Them Laugh.

2. Humor

Men see this one all time as well. It’s damn near a universal constant. “I want a guy who can make me laugh”, “I like to laugh.” Here’s the thing, humor is different to every person. Some like slap-stick, some like improv, others like dry. Each style of humor has it’s own characteristics. One girls may think ‘Jack Ass’ is funny, but may not get George Carlins style. Humor can be learned skill. If you are not that funny learn the structure and you can raise how humorous you are in a given situation.

A Man Is A Little Rugged. He Can Get His Hands Dirty.
A Man Is A Little Rugged. He Can Get His Hands Dirty.

3. Masculinity

Okay, I get it, we live in age where the gender roles are “blurring.” As a general rule though I believe most heterosexual women want a masculine guy. What does this mean though? It means you are a little bit rugged. Your not going to cry at the end of Titanic when Jack decides to drown ‘for love’ instead of climbing up on the damn wooden panel. You’re not afraid to get your hands dirty, and you’re self sufficient. You take care of yourself and don’t have a melting snowman physique by age 30. Meaning you can lift more than a potato chip and a beer by age 32.

A Man Doesn't Need Her To Like Him.
A Man Doesn't Need Her To Like Him.

4. Indifference

This is something many guys get wrong. Even though I approach a girl and I want the interaction to work out in my favor. I want her to like me. I don’t need it work, I don’t need her to like me. I’m not going to be super aloof and hope she gets my vibe. At the same time I’m not going to jump into her space either. I’m just going to place myself in the middle and give her the opportunity to close the distance between us. From a cocky stand point I could say “my life is awesome as it is, you would simply be a bonus within it. You can join me, or not.”

Here Is My Story, Use It As Inspiration In Your Own Life.
Here Is My Story, Use It As Inspiration In Your Own Life.

5. Leadership

The ability to inspire others around you. Demonstrating that you can play nice with other people. You make plans, you are able to figure things out if the plans don’t work. At least have a plan B or C. As part of leading, you are also okay with following every now and then. A cocky attitude with this would be “Here is my story, use it as inspiration in your own life. I’m fine with your opinion, even if I don’t agree. I’m also willing to follow your advice if you have a better way of doing things.”

I Do Not Require Others Peoples Permission.
I Do Not Require Others Peoples Permission.

6. Dominance

Meaning that you are decisive. You’re not afraid of making a decision. You’re not afraid to speak your mind or express your feelings on a subject. You want a specific social outcome, and you are going stand up for that outcome. Don’t be wishy washy when asked what you want to do. When she asks what you want to do, don’t reply with “oh, i don’t know. I guess we could maybe, you know…” No, make a damn decision. This isn’t an excuse for being an ass just to get your way. Leave room for other peoples opinions. A cocky way of putting this is “Everything I do is for me. I don’t need other peoples permission to do something.”

A Man Is Not Afraid To Disappoint Somebody Else.
A Man Is Not Afraid To Disappoint Somebody Else.

7. Self Reliance

Similar to masculinity and leadership you are able to solve problems. You’re not going to cry and get all flustered if your car dies midway through a date. You can examine the problem, research it, and fix the problem. Whether its calling a tow truck and getting an Uber, or breaking out the tools. You can handle the situation, or at least attempt to handle it. A cocky extension of this would be “I don’t need other peoples validation, I’m not afraid to disappoint somebody else. But, I’m going to make the best out of this.”

A Man Is Aware Of Where He Wants To Go In Life.
A Man Is Aware Of Where He Wants To Go In Life.

8. Ambition

This doesn’t mean that your out there with loads of cash, and a successful CEO. It means you have an awareness of where you want to go in life. It means you know what your goals are and you are moving towards those goals in a concerted fashion. It doesn’t mean you are in some comfort zone sitting on the couch eating a box of Ho-Ho’s while binge watching ‘Maniac’ or ‘Black Mirror.’ You actually get off your ass and make shit happen. A cocky stand point would be “I’m leading my own life. I’m not trying to weasel my way into yours. Join me on my journey, and you can play a role in me attaining my success.”

A Man Doesn't Depend On Social Acceptance.
A Man Doesn't Depend On Social Acceptance.

9. Freedom

A little abstract as it was hard to nail down what was being told to me. Many girls express this as “adventurous” but don’t define it exactly as that. What I really got is the idea that you are not being constrained by social restraints or conditioning. In other words you really don’t care what other people think, you don’t stay within your little socially expected box. Your not going through life in walking daze simply following the crowd while doing as your told. You have a bit of a rebel attitude. Just don’t go overboard with it thinking that you can start robbing banks, or keying cars. A cocky perception of this would be “I love myself with all of my flaws. I’m not doing things to have others look up to me. I am not dependent on other peoples attention.”

If You Want To Know More, You Will Need To Work For It.
If You Want To Know More, You Will Need To Work For It.

10. Mystery

She has the sense there is more to you than you are giving her. Your not going to unload your entire story on the first meeting. As the relationship progresses she is able to learn more about you. She is able to discover more of who you are and your experiences. A cocky way of looking at this “I’m not easy, your going to have to earn me. If you want to really know me, we are going to share equally.”

A Man Is Not Totally Predictable.
A Man Is Not Totally Predictable.

11. Danger

This dove tails on freedom and mystery. Your not the totally squeaky clean nice guy. You have some edginess about you where you subvert the social norms. You are not totally predictable. Whatever it is, most girls want to find out that you are not some harmless little nice fellow.

A Man Takes Calculated Risks To Achieve Goals.
A Man Takes Calculated Risks To Achieve Goals.

12. Exciting

This isn’t danger all over again. This is where you take calculated risks to achieve success. You’re not afraid of the consequences of going after what you want. If you want the girl, you are not afraid of getting a no by asking her out. You are not afraid of fucking up a meeting to get a business deal for your start up. At the same time, you have the ability to find a solution when things start to go sideways. You have the willingness to try new things. A cocky attitude with this is “I made a mistake, I’m not perfect. I own my mistakes. Sorry it happened, here is what I learned. Here is a solution that can benefit both of us.”

A Man Is Generally Enthusiastic About Life.
A Man Is Generally Enthusiastic About Life.

13. Passion

You are generally enthusiastic about life. You are not talking to, or interacting with her, with an emotional flat line. You try to find the positive, or learn something, in things you don’t particularly like. When talking about things that you experienced you add emotional color with different vocal tones, and inflections in your voice. You vary your tempo and use hand gestures to bring her into the story. You are aware that what you feel, she will feel along with you. If your depressed, she will become depressed. If you feel excited, she will feel excitement.

An Attractive Man Is Not Scared Of Sex.
An Attractive Man Is Not Scared Of Sex.

14. Sex

This is something that an attractive man has defined. He sees it as something that is natural. It is alluded to everywhere, yet society as a whole frowns upon it at the same time. But, society accepts violence without question. We can watch a T.V. show, or play a video game with gun shots, blood, and beatings, but if we see a boob everyone freaks out. An attractive man isn’t afraid or timid about touching a girl he finds attractive. He isn’t timid about hugging, kissing, or intercourse when the time is right. He’s not looking for her reassurance, or permission to continue with a consensual interaction. He is aware that sex is natural and is not afraid of being a sexual creature, just like every other animal on earth.


You can look around the GaG community and see the questions being asked on both sides why a guy or girl is acting one way or another. Why they broke up, or are thinking of dumping a guy. If you look at the details, you will see where one or a few of these traits are being expressed. A lack of passion, a lack of excitement, a lack of self reliance. He’s missing, or has too much indifference.


These are the internal traits that I have found that most women want a guy to possess. Like I said these are in no particular order. Let me know if I missed something, got something totally wrong, or if I should have defined something better.


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Most Helpful Girls

  • wow first take of a man on what girs like that is closer to the truth. Good job.

    And as you said, it's not all these traits that every woman likes. I for example have ones you mentioned I search for and other not. and yes for men it doesn't mean you can't expect for a girl to have sertain traits too.

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    • Thank you. It's good to know I wasn't totally off.
      I have others, but these are the one's that kept coming up when I asked.
      And, no. Not everyone has, or looks for, all these traits. (Except me of course 😜) I agree that not all women possess all desired traits as well.

  • “my life is awesome as it is, you would simply be a bonus within it. You can join me, or not.” I love this sentence! Something most people actually don't get
    Also your take was great with some good points

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    • You wanna do one about what traits men like in women? Would like to read a male version haha

    • Well thank you. Much appreciated.
      I can give it a whirl. It would somewhat one sided, meaning it would be from my perception only.

Most Helpful Guys

  • I can vouch for indifference and confidence in my personal experience. Whatever you do guys, stay true to yourselves and never rely on someone else if you can help it.

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    • Confidence and Indifference worked for me for a while. Then I started with the others and started to get more higher quality women.

    • Eh, I'm not interested in masquerading as something I am not just to appeal to women. They can either take me or leave me as is because I don't truly need them either way. They're just a bonus.

  • This was absolutely fucking brilliant. Best thing and most accurate thing I've read on gag... ever.

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What Girls Said 8

  • Everything sounds good except for indifference. What's wrong with being wanted? Indifference sounds like games or wearing an armor around your heart. If you can't be vulnerable and just let go then don't date and give yourself time to heal from your past. Acting indifferent basically means you don't like the person. Why put in the time to be "closer" to someone, when from the start show disinterest? I'm not going to waste my time.

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    • I see what you are saying. Indifference isn't a constant when meeting someone, or when in a relationship. Its a trait turned on and off. When first approaching, it's on because they guy doesn't want to walk up showing he is overly excited and hoping you will talk to him.
      At the end of a date, he doesn't want to show he wants a kiss.
      He wants to remain indifferent in those two instances. If you choose not to talk to him, that's okay. If you don't to kiss, he's cool, and will accept whatever you choose.
      Indifference doesn't mean he doesn't show feelings, or doesn't care all the time. Hope that explains it better.
      Thank you for the opinion.

    • Like the ball is in her court?

    • Exactly.
      An example would be if I were to approach you and let you know I was interested some how. If I did it in a needy fashion, 9 times out of 10 you would probably reject me.
      But, if I did it in a way that I gave you the sense that I'm okay with rejection; 9 out of 10 times you would probably accept my invitation. I'm turning the power over to you to decide where the interaction goes without giving up my own self esteem (thank you @melanieeeB for the better word choice).

  • Eyes for her and her only no matter how pretty the other women are.
    Make feel like she's the only girl in the world.
    Rhianna sang a song about it.

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    • Fuck no. If she knows she is the only girl you care about, she will leave you. Its important that she knows other hot women are interested and that if she dont behave you won't think twice about leaving her.

  • I don't know but how much he loves me plays a huge part in this. I've never dated or had any kind of relationship with a man who hasn't confessed his feelings first. I have more self respect than to just fall for a confident naked man

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  • yeah sounds ideal, but i'd also be down for like dorky dudes.

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  • yes but all those are meaningless without kindness

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  • I fell for a guy like this. He has nearly all the traits you listed. The guy feels like he’s 100% unattainable. Great.

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    • When did we meet?
      He's not unattainable, trust me. He's just not going to give in easily. Don't give up on him.

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    • Thanks for the complement.
      I wouldn't aim lower though. Just aim for the guy who has the traits, but doesn't play games.
      It may sound like I play head games. But, I'm straight forward with the women I meet.
      Don't sell yourself short. You deserve the happiness you want.
      Wish you the best.

    • Thank you, you too.

  • Who cares what women think/find attractive?

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    • Says the woman...

    • @Clarke498 my point was to mock those women who write ' who cares what men think' on mytakes about 'what men find attractive in women' but okay lol

    • i agree with you

  • Good take. Confidence and dominance are extremely important. I kinda disagree with 4. Most women don't want to be just "a bonus." That kind of attitude is preferable before you know her, but after few dates you should try your best to make her feel special.

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    • I agree with your perception. The concept is that you are happy with your life and don't need someone else to complete it. To have someone else to share your life with just makes it better. Like chocolate ice cream is great by itself. Add whipped cream and it's even better. That's the cockiness I was attempting to illustrate.
      I get where you are coming from though.

What Guys Said 21

  • Wow.. Something every single person on the planet knows with even the smallest shread of common sense... The point of this take is what again?

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  • It can all be boiled down to three. If you have them you'll have best pick of what's out there. You coverd them, but way too wordy...
    1. Looks
    2. Money
    3. Confidence. Irrational confidence.

    If you work your hardest on 1 and 2 you'll gain 3 for the effort. And they'll be throwing them selves at you. So hit the gym, hard, and make a ton of $$.

    And never forget, YOU ARE THE PRIZE! So act like it. Women will come and go, but a REAL MAN is a prize to behold.

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  • Careful men, in these times any of this will get you metoo-ed quicker than amber rose opens her legs. Especially the last one

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    • I get where you are coming from.
      I've been doing this for over 20 years. The actual numbers of guys who truly work to implement these traits is extremely low. They get one, maybe two, a little success, and then quit. Eventually, they fall right back to how they were before. Then wonder what happened.

  • They make sense but none seem to focus on physical appearance. It’s true that women aren’t visual when it comes to physical attraction but I think looks should still be on this list. While I do have most of these traits, I still won’t date a woman who doesn’t at least compliment me on my physical appearance.

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    • I understand where you are coming from. But, I stated at the beginning I was concentrating on more internal traits than external.

  • you left out looks... which is the number one thing they care about... so you're full of it.

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    • I stated at the beginning these were internal traits, not external.

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    • Good looks is a top trait only for immature girls. There is also a different in culture as to just how important it is for any age group.

      Women soon learn that their good looking guy isn't so attractive when the average looking guy with power and money is telling him what to do.

    • In their teens, and maybe early 20s, probably true. Afterwards, not so much - at least much less so than men looking for good looking women.

  • You can have every single one of these internal traits but what many girls care about is only the external part.

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  • someone please tell that chef to put some clothes on around the food, I don't want food to be exposed to wet towel taint or smell.

    also, this seems like pretty common stuff

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  • That's a pretty comprehensive and well thought through list

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    • Thanks. It took a long time, and lots of talking to get it this far. Hope it helps in some way.

  • So basically everything that everyone already knew.

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  • You've covered all major points and done it well.

    Great Take!

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  • I’m lacking quite a bit of those... I’m just a geeky little gentleman desiring romance.

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  • Little too long dude, but a good list

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  • Noice.

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  • I love being dominant

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  • who cares , be you , i love it my way

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  • thats me all rolled into one great take love it

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  • Handsome looks too

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  • I'm gonna die alone😭

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  • What's interesting is how these things interact with what guys like in women and how they undermine what the other wants.
    I find it a turn off that girls care about these things.

    All the Self-reliance, ambition, indifference stuff is annoying, because if I worked to make my life awesome only then do you want to jump in then that just seems crummy. Also, if I worked for all this and got told things like this all my life; that I had to not need the girl, that I had to figure it out myself and build myself to be this awesome person, then when I get there it's bananas to me that you expect me to now care about you after forcing me to not need you.

    >Expect guys to not need you
    >Wonder why guys who now don't need you don't invest in you.

    "If you look at the details, you will see where one or a few of these traits are being expressed."
    You shouldn't expect them to be perfect.

    "You are aware that what you feel, she will feel along with you"
    Be wary not to turn this into a guy having to babysit your feelings. There's already a world of pressure here. If I have to not only be awesome and indifference but also can't be have to not be indifferent and carry the weight of your emotions ass well then... well shit that's a lot to carry.

    "He’s not looking for her reassurance, or permission to continue with a consensual interaction."
    When feminist theory e. g rape culture, toxic masculinity, is dead and buried then you can talk about confidence in sexual interactions.
    Also what about inexperienced men? They have to gain experience somehow. Are you ruling out guys that are inexperienced or virgins and want to take things slow?

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    • Why do you have to need someone in order to invest in them? Why isn't wanting someone enough?

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    • @just_wondering_01 That would be nice but can't always happen and can't happen with me. They don't need to have actually supported me, the point is that I need to believe they would; that it's not my life and everything around me they like, but me as a person. I could do short-term/casual with someone I *want,* but hearing lines like the one's we see in the MyTake from a girl doesn't inspire long-term investment from me.

    • Makes sense. Thanks for answering my questions

  • Ok, but what about women who like submissive men?

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    • Ask the girl and she will name at least one.

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    • They dont really excist. I know women who always says they want to be in control and want a submissive guy, but all of them ALWAYS fall for the dominant one.

    • @frontyer Not the ones I know, they consider dominant guys as too arrogant.

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