Yes, there is a list! A well protected, closely guarded document that goes beyond ‘what to wear on the first date’ and delves deep into the things that really matter to the tough ones. Men chase women and women woo men, that’s the way it has always been. But does that have to be so black and white? What about all the shades of grey i.e. those things that men hide when chasing women and the things that women must know when on a men-wooing spree. Now, this is not some ‘out of worldly’ info that was left on earth by the Martians! This piece, my dear friends, is a compilation of things that your men won’t share with you, for reasons aplenty, but expect you to know. Look at this piece as a storehouse of Grandma’s Secrets; and trust us, they know it all. After all, the subtle art of seduction took roots ages before we even walked this planet. Go on now, read the following pointers and try to understand what are the things guys wish girls knew. From space to sex, we have it all right here.
Things Guys Wish Girls Knew
1. Asking girls out is a big deal for us. So, just because we are acting cool doesn’t mean we aren’t shivering inside. It won’t hurt to appreciate the effort.
2. Going on a date is a 2-way thing. Taking an active interest in helping us decide the place would go a long way in letting us know you are in.
3. Yes, dolling up takes time and is really flattering but please, please be on time. We may not say this up front but being late isn’t fashionable and no, it isn’t sweet either; no matter how you look.
4. Also, being ‘fashionably late’ isn’t every guy’s thing. More often than not, we like people, including us, to be on time. Especially when we come to meet you!
5. So you are a vegan..big deal! I like my meat and you going all “Eww..” doesn’t add any feathers to your ‘green’ cap. Just let me keep my choices.
6. We aren’t all pigs. And even if we are, we don’t go out with Miss Pigs. So freshening up and smelling nice for a date won’t hurt. But please, hold it on the makeup.
7. Don’t be an open book. We like a mystery.
8. Ex-talk is a turn off; even worse than bad breath.
9. Keep the conversation alive. Unrequited flirting never turned on any sensible guy.
10. We don’t ask a personal question on dates. And while asking about our best friends is ok, whether or not we get along with our dads is really none of your business on the first date.
11. Reach for the bill but don’t pay. We’d like to be with women who are independent but establishing our chivalry is equally important.
12. Eat as humans please; we don’t date birds. Getting too finicky about food is not classy anymore.
13. Future talk on the first date should be restricted to career and general fun things. If you discuss marriage and kids, don’t be surprised if there is no callback..ever!
14. You want me to listen, pay attention to me too. My game talk is as important as your girl talk.
15. Drink. Don’t get drunk!
16. Guys don’t dislike sharing food. It is just annoying when you order a healthy salad only to dig into our fries and desserts the moment they arrive. We won’t judge you for eating.
17. ‘Am I looking fat’ is a double-edged sword. A ‘no’ is never believed while a ‘yes’ would only be another soup; please spare us the agony.
18. Shopping is our hell. And asking us for opinions that you know you wouldn’t agree with is hardly an ego boost. Also, a little secret – guys don’t get colors. We don’t know teal from turquoise or steel grey from metallic grey. There are 7 colors in the rainbow and that’s where it ends for us.
19. We like our space. We love you but we love ourselves too. So, frowning upon that little beer time with the guys or a little quiet time on weekends or even a while longer in the bed alone is a human rights violation. We don’t frown on your shower time, you don’t get to frown on our ‘lone time’.
20. If we like you, we would want you all to ourselves. You talking to anyone else is out of the question. It isn’t a way of getting our attention; it is just making us insecure and we don’t like being that way.
21. When we love, we love. Screaming ‘I love you’ from rooftops or whispering sweet nothings have to be a one-time thing; real men have other things also on their minds.
22. Yes, we try to impress you, but to an extent; after that, it is full-on moves. So while a lunch date could be an attempt to get your attention, a long drive after dinner is a pretty straight “your place or mine”!
23. Do you want to gossip? Bring it on! Just don’t expect us to participate always.
24. Feel free to compliment us as much as you like. We love to hear how well we are doing; it does the fragile male ego a lot of good you know.
25. You may be a sucker for romance novels and the stories they tell but in the real world, if you like a guy, you can tell him that.
26. What shopping is for you, driving is for us. It’s not about getting from A to B; it’s about a guy and his machine bonding.
27. Speaking of machines, our first cars and bikes ALWAYS hold a special place in our hearts. It doesn’t mean there is any less space for you in there.
28. We know our machine and we know our directions; even when we don’t. No back seat driving, please.
29. Just like you can’t tell us what your friends talk about, we can’t always tell you what we guys talk about. It does not equate to hiding things from you.
30. Being cute or a little silly at times is fine. Being cute and silly all the time is lame.
31. Don’t play too hard to get or you won’t get anything!
32. Remember that male ego? Well, it DOES NOT like being compared to your ex-boyfriend or other male friends! In fact, comparing ‘present’ us to the ‘past’ us isn’t pretty either.
33. Face it... Porn rocks!!!
34. Men live for 2 things – catfights and girl-on-girl action.
35. We know all humans fart; we just choose to believe that women don’t. Please let our Utopian world be!
36. Game time is our time. Once my butt is parked is parked on the couch with the TV in full view, don’t expect me to budge till the game is on.
37. If we stammer or seem to be suffering from spoonerism while talking to you, it means we really like you.
38. Miniskirts vs brains?? Brains win!! Though miniskirts put up a darn good fight.
39. ‘Fine’ & ‘Whatever’ are not the words you end conversations and/or arguments with.
40. Most of the times we don’t mean to hurt you. Even when we do, we end up doing things wrong.
Guys never kiss and tell...is what we’d have you believe.
41. Guys aren’t psychic; subtle, strong or even obvious hints have no effect on us. You have to say what you want to say.
42. Sex? Hell Yeah!!
43. Even better when you initiate.
44. Contrary to popular belief, sex is not the only thing on our mind; there’s food too.
45. If you don’t like my mates or family, don’t give me a tough time about it.
46. Guy’s night outs are just as important as girl’s day outs.
47. Toilet seats are not complicated pieces of engineering… if it’s up, put it down!
48. Fit women are a turn on; female Arnie’s? Not so much.
49. Anything said six months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after seven days.
50. Brad Pitt gets paid to look good. We do it for you. Appreciate the effort!
And now that a fair amount of relevant information has been passed on to all the willing readers, let’s talk commandments.
The 10 Commandments
Thou shalt not play word or mind games with us.
Thou shalt not interfere in the beer & sports time
Thou shalt respect the time I spend with ‘the guys’
Thou shalt not hurt the fragile male ego. It’s FRAGILE!!!
Thou shalt not use tears as weapons.
Thou shalt not ask us questions through the bathroom door.
Exes are in the past and thou shalt keep them there.
Thou shalt refrain from using us for making others jealous. It isn’t cool!
Not all guys are jerks!
Checking out other girls doesn’t tantamount to cheating on you.
Men aren’t as complicated as they are made out to be. Just a simple willingness to dive into that beer filled brain, weird as it is, is enough to give you insights into a male mind’s functioning. Don’t believe us? Try the above points out and be as subtle as you can be. Drilling your guy with direct questions can never get you anywhere!
Most Helpful Opinions
Based on my long term relationship with my boyfriend I have to differ. Some of these points may be valid for you personally, but doesn't serve well as a generalization.
3 &4. My boyfriend is ALWAYS late and almost always makes me wait on him when we are grtting ready to go out.
6. My boyfriend takes me as i am. There are days i can't be bothered to care and he doesn't think twice about having me on his arm. But there are days i really put effort into my make up and he always compliments it.
7. I opened up to my boyfriend very early in our relationship. We skipped a lot of the bull shit chasing that can sometimes happen at the beginning of relationships. It made us stronger, faster.
8. My boyfriend i openly discuss our exes. Past relationships is how we develop what we currently want in our relationships. We share our experiences and discuss how that shapes us as a couple
11. We usually go dutch in dates. Occasionally he treats me. Occasionally i treat him. His ego is hardly damaged
12. While no, im not afraid to order a lot of food, sometimes he orders stuff i didn't know i wanted. And he takes this into account while he orders.
14. We genuinely take interest in each others conversations. Occasionally we do hit each other with "I'm sorry hin, i know thia topic excites you but I really dont care about it"and thats ok
15. My boyfriend definitely takes care of my drunk ass and sometimes i take care of his
17. When i ask how i look in something i want a genuine answer. Sometimes clothes aren't flattering, tell me!
18. My boyfriend almosy always takes me shopping with him or we organize to do our shopping together. Its fun and having someone to help you pick items never hurts. I like my bfs opinions and suggestions and vice versa
19. My boyfriend doesn't know what personal time is, he's either with me or with friends or with family. At the beginning of our relationship he struggled to grasp that i needed alone time to recharge
20. Near the beginning of our relationship we had a plain discussion of "ok. We are now mutually exclusive"up until that point, yeah i was talking to other guys
21. My boyfriend has no problem screaming to the world his love for me. In fact he probably says i love you 10 times more than i say it
22. My boyfriend again had a frank discussion about sex. When each of us were ready for it. Yes he was ready sooner than me, but when I expressed that i needed more time, he didn't try and persuade me.
23. My boyfriend is my best friend and im his. We gossip like 13 year old girls
26. My boyfriend likes his car, yes, but he no car nut. He only drives us everywhere because i HATE driving
28. Im a great co-pilot thanks very much
29. My boyfriend and have mutual friends. My boyfriend pretty much tells me everything , play by play if i wanted.
32. Comparing yourself to your past is how to measure growth
33. While my boyfriend and I have been honest about our porn viewing we share similar views. Most of it is annoying and obnoxious and why watch porn when you have an amazing real life partner?
34. No. Just no.
35. Everyone farts, get over it
36. Hobbies and passions are fine but its not your religion. My boyfriend is able to prioritize and isn't so shallow that a hobby rules his life
40. What kinda toxic bull shit
42 and 43. Sex doesn't happen unless its a mutual feeling at the time. Sometimes you just aren't in the mood and you are under no obligation to give in. Thats some manipulative shit
44. Grown ass adults can feed themselves
45. If i think someone is toxic in my bfs life, i tell him
47. Like a forest, leave it how you found it. If my boyfriend can lift it, he can put it down again. Besides guests dont want to touch our toilet if they dont have to.
48. Like i said, my boyfriend takes me as i am. Im not in ky current fitness goals and who knows if ill reach them
49. Absolute bull shit.
Male egos are only as fragile as the mans insecurity
Lastly, I could easily take your list an apply it towards men
Update:I read this list to my boyfriend and after laughing at it he sighed and said the writer sounds like A) he's never been in a loving relationship and B.) Sounds abusive as hell
I read all this and this is what me and my current girlfriend are trying to do. We literally talk about everything even exes we also skipped the dating bullshit as well. We we're like "well I like you let's be together " and that was it.
Although I can't compare my two month relationship with your long term one you gottas start somewhere and by reading this I feel her and I are going in a good dirrection
@skateranon123 first, thanks for reading all that! I'm glad I could give you a sense of security. My boyfriend and I have only been dating for three years, so long but not super long. My boyfriend and I went maybe on three dates before talking about being mutually exclusive. But even before then there were no games. I wish you the best in your relationship!
Thank you so much. 3 years is a pretty good milestone seems like you guys are in it for the long run
@skateranon123 we definitely are and have a plan for the future, again another series of frank discussions we've had to have.
Well then I'm glad me and my girlfriend have discussed everything from where we'd like to live to children it's pretty crazy but it's best to have everything clear and none of that dating games bs
Great reply! The " checking out other chicks doesn't equate to cheating" i disagree with. I'm not stupid of course we all see beautiful people but if you're truly checking out another person you are scouting for options. You belong single. Period. That shit is not an excuse. Boys will be boys bullshit. Men are not boys and don't need more than one mate to satisfy them if they are truly into their mate.
@Engageme absolutely. My boyfriend and i can admit to each other that visually appeasing people exist but we aren't just walking around checking people out.